“It was fine until that fucker came walking down the stairs fresh from a shower. Seriously Colby, I about lost my shit right there. I had to leave before I did something I would regret, but it took everything in me to walk out. I told them both that shit was over.”
He is smirking at me. “I hope you realize nothing is going on. Mitch is an okay guy and has his own demons. The girls don’t realize I have had some conversations with him, and he really isn’t your problem. Your past choices are the problem. Hope you don’t make the same ones.”
“What the fuck, Colby? I am here and trying. Yes, I made so many wrong choices and decisions, but I can’t undo any of them. You all wield my past like a knife ready to slice me open. I get it. I screwed up and am a sad excuse for a human. Anything else to add?”
“Grow the fuck up, Tyler, and quit whining. I am not holding your past over your head, just stating facts. I am pissed at you, and I will not tell you what you want to hear so you can feel better about yourself. You fucking left her pregnant. What were you thinking? Don’t give me the shit about you being scared and not wanting kids. That doesn’t matter. It was already done. The girl you loved for eight damn years, tells you she is pregnant, and you leave. Not to mention every other time you made her doubt your love and commitment. Then you have the nerve to stand in my house and whine about how it isn’t fair. I know you love her and are hurting, but I told you this would happen if you didn’t get your head out of your ass. I never thought I would see the day you were a coward, but the day you walked out on Addison, that is all you showed me.”
Hit below the belt, please. “You are right. I did walk out on her, but she told me later that there was no pregnancy. I was lied to, and had I known, I would have come back. I am a victim here, too.”
Yes, I know I just sounded like a complete bitch. Colby starts laughing at me, with tears streaming down his face. “Victim? Are you serious right now? You weren’t lied to, not really. So she didn’t spell it out for you, but can you blame her? If you go into this situation with that attitude, good luck because you will be seeing your kids every other weekend and one day a week. Even that will be court appointed because Addison won’t give you anything willingly.”
He is right. I know he is, but I just want someone to be on my side through this. I always had Addison in my corner, and it sucks not having that. “Okay, truce. I have decided to come home permanently. I want to let Brock, the manager we have for the store in North Carolina, take over and we can make monthly trips or whatever. I need to be here, and I need my family behind me.”
Colby just sticks out his hand, “Good decision, man. Whatever you need . . . consider it done. I do have your back and want the best for you, but I won’t blow smoke up your ass while you get there. You act like I know nothing about what you are going through, but think back to when I had the crown for douche of the year. It sucked, and I still live with that guilt. You never get over the pain you caused them, but you do hold them tight and worship them everyday you get the chance. I want you to have that chance, and I will be your biggest supporter.”
I just stare at this man who used to be my cousin. “Do you get tampons with marriage now, because I think your vagina is bleeding. What happened to, “tap that ass” or “show her who is boss?” You seriously lost your balls and man card the day you said ‘I do.’”
“Whatever, Tyler. Did you forget the women we are dealing with? Oh yeah, I see the realization hitting your face. Be fucking afraid, man, very afraid.”
He is pissing me off being right today. I know that I need to swallow whatever pride I have and go balls to the wall to get my girl back. I will admit I am still scared shitless and don’t know about being a father. Hell, I don’t even know how to be the man Addison needs. Up until this point I have always been the boy who loved her but never put her first. It is now time to be the man she deserves. I look at Colby and admit, “I am scared shitless, man. I don’t know anything about parenting.”
He laughs at me yet again. I am glad I am so amusing for this asshole today. Blood is thicker than water, my ass. He finally composes himself and tells me, “There are no rules about parenting. It is like on the job training. Don’t read the books, because they lie to you. I would quote those so much that Brielle finally asked me if I shoved it up her vagina and made sure the babies read it, because they must have been confused on some parts. I realized right then she was right. Each baby is different, but dude, they run your lives. Schedules my ass . . . they own you. But you know the best thing? I wouldn’t change a second of it . . . except childbirth. I wish they still knocked the woman out and gave us the last few moments of peace we are ever going to get, but no, we have to listen to them yelling, cussing, and threatening us.”
Seriously, this is supposed to make me yearn to be a father? As much as I wish I could change everything in this past year, I think I may be lucky that I missed childbirth. That shit doesn’t sound like it is for the weak, and I am a weak, weak man.
Chapter 11
Addison
It has been two weeks since Tyler showed up and once again turned my life upside down. He has been here everyday to help with the parenting duties and leaves only long enough to check in at the offices. He has been a curious little pupil trying to learn everything about them, and they love him. When they hear his voice they calm down instantly, and I swear they prefer him over me. I am not going to lie, that bothers me. I carried their little asses and went through a horrendous labor, all while he was absent. He comes in and coos to them and flashes them his smile, and they are all ga-ga over him. Damn it, I wish he didn’t have that effect on us.
I could tell he was pleased with himself about Mitch not being here anymore. I quickly told him that it wasn’t his temper tantrum that did it, but he seems to think he is king of the world. Whatever. I will admit having him here helping has been relaxing for me. I am almost feeling human now. I keep reminding myself every hour of every day that I will not fall for him again. That is not an option for me or for my sanity anymore. He has dropped hints here and there about “family,” and I don’t give him any encouragement. I agreed he could stay at Brielle and Colby’s for the time being, but I told them all he was on a probation period.
The twins have their one-month check-up today and will be getting shots. I haven’t told Tyler about that part because I don’t think he will be okay with that. I remember how Colby reacted the first time CJ had shots, and then when Riley had hers I thought we were going to have to bail him out of jail. It was very comical. Brielle and I still laugh our asses off at him. Making sure you have everything ready for an outing with twins is like a damn act of Congress. The only difference is that I have to succeed, or my little girls will suffer. Tyler is playing with the babies on the floor while I am going through my mental checklist and then doubling everything. Finally, I announce to him that we are ready.
Loading them up is a science. We each carry one out to my car and strap them in. They are very picky, and it is like everything has to be done simultaneously or they get fussy, and that is not a chorus of screams I like to hear. As Tyler starts the car “Red” by Taylor Swift blares through the radio. I immediately turn it off because this song is my song about him. He doesn’t need to know the hold he has over my heart. He just chuckles because he knows exactly what I just did. He looks over at me, lifts his eyebrows, and blows me a kiss. I want to throttle his cocky ass. He has always known the power he holds over me, but I am different. I glance right back at him and skip a few songs on the CD and start playing “Sad Beautiful Tragic” and hope it drives my point home. We are co-parents and nothing else. Ever again.
Finally reaching the doctor’s office, we work together and get the carriers with the babies inside and settled for their appointments. The doctor comes in, and I introduce him to Tyler, as the girls’ father, and he goes about the exam. They are both strong, healthy, and on target for their weight. I look over at Tyler, and he is beaming. His chest is pumped out, and he has a
smile on his face like he single-handedly created them and is taking all the credit. Right then, as if it is scripted, the nurse walks in with a tray of shots, and Tyler turns a nice shade of green. He looks to me, and I swear I almost feel bad for not warning him. He says to me, “What in the fuck are those, Addy?” I am seriously debating if the twins got their lungs from my side of the family because he wasn’t quiet at all.
“Shots, Tyler. Kids get them as they grow up. Vaccinations, protection, whatever you want to call them.” Seriously, he is that clueless. What did he think they were?
“No. Just hell no, Addy. Nobody is going to stick my babies with anything. We will keep them at home 24/7 and not let them be exposed to anything. They won’t need them then. This isn’t up for discussion, woman. This is cruel and unusual punishment for them. I cannot believe you are okay with this torture on our babies.” He is freaking out. Running his hands through his hair, his voice is very animated, and I am trying so hard to keep a straight face. I am patting myself on the back that I remembered to hit record on my phone so Brielle and I can laugh at this. He may have just beat Colby, and it hasn’t even begun.
“Tyler, it isn’t torture. It is necessary. It may hurt them for an instant, but it is over before they know it. They will be fussy for a few days and may run a slight fever, but they will be fine. If you promise to be a good boy, we will get you a lollipop on the way out.” I can’t help but start laughing. No mother is really okay with her kids getting shots, but we all realize it is part of life. I feel like I am going to be sick, but I know I have to hold it together, and teasing Tyler is helping.
He doesn’t look amused at my offer of a lollipop. “Addison, I am not playing here. We are loading up Shiloh and Cheyenne right now and taking them home. They are on schedule for all their other shit. Didn’t you hear the doctor? They are perfect. I could have told you that and not wasted our time here, so c’mon lets go. NOW.” Nope, not happening.
I look at the nurse and tell her, “It is fine to begin.” I cut Tyler off before he can start, “Shut the hell up. You are embarrassing me, and this is happening. Now do you want to stay in the room and comfort them or step outside?” He wants to strangle me, I can tell.
“I will comfort my angels from the evil their mother is putting them through.” And he goes and picks up Shiloh who is screaming her head off, as she was first for the “torture,” as Tyler so eloquently put it. Luckily, I had distracted him, so he didn’t actually see the nurse stick her, and I wasn’t sure what he was going to do now that he was watching Cheyenne.
As soon as the first shot went in Cheyenne’s leg, and she started wailing, Tyler became unhinged. “Stop it. Stop it. Addison come take Shiloh so I can stop Dr. Kevorkian over there from doing that shit to our daughter.” Oh God, Brielle was going to bust a gut listening to this. I walked over to Cheyenne and picked her up now that it was over. She instantly quieted down, stuck her head in my neck, and was shuddering from all her cries, but she was fine. I looked over at Tyler and fell a bit more in love, if that was possible. He was holding Shiloh rubbing her back and had reached over to do the same to Cheyenne, all the while he had tears steaming down his face. We loaded them up silently and went to the car.
He looked over at me very somberly and said, “No more, Addison. I can’t watch that shit anymore.”
“Okay, Ty. I understand. They have to have shots, though. So you can do what Colby does and leave the room during the shot part.”
“No. I can’t be there. I am sorry because I am letting you down all over again, but I can’t hear them scream like that and allow it to happen. I hear everything you are saying, but my heart does not understand.” Yep, I was a complete goner. He could have tried to romance and sweet talk me all he wanted, but him showing me how much he loved our babies was the easiest way to get to me.
“I forgive you for not going to any more appointments involving shots. You aren’t letting me down, I swear. It sucks for me too, but I think rationally about it, which is something you dads’ don’t get. Don’t beat yourself up over it. You are being an amazing dad.” You would have thought I just told him he had been drafted by the NFL judging by his grin.
“Thank you, Lil’ Bit, for saying I am a good dad. I want to do right by them, and I want to do right by you.”
“Stop, Tyler. We aren’t doing this. You are the girls’ father and doing amazing. Leave it at that, please.”
He nods and starts the car. Before putting it in gear he pulls out his iPod and plugs it in to my radio. He looks over to me and says, “I heard your song earlier, now here is mine.” Jerrod Niemann’s “Only God Could Love You More” starts filling my car. I have to bite the inside of my mouth to stop the tears. I can slowly feel him breaking down my walls again, and I cannot let that happen. I know I won’t survive him again, and my babies need me.
Chapter 12
Tyler
Addison told me we needed to go over to Brielle’s after the doctor’s appointment because we were having dinner over there. I just wanted to go home and snuggle the babies after their ordeal today. I didn’t object to going over there because I didn’t want to sound like even more of a pussy. I cannot believe I cried in the doctor’s office. I don’t regret anything I said, but I felt physically sick when they were crying from those needles. People need to put more research into that because I think I am permanently scarred from bearing witness to that. When we finally get to the house, both babies are asleep, and I notice everyone is here. I don’t want a full house. I just want my girls to rest. Addison turns to look at me and must see the apprehension on my face.
“Tyler, they will be fine. We can put them down once we get inside, nobody will bother them. You can stand over them like a damn bodyguard if it will make you happy. What are you going to do when they get older and start to date? We have to have this meeting because Cambree and Dustin are always on the go and with Daytona right around the corner we need to get all the details together.” Little minx drops that shit on me and hops out of the car to start gathering the girls and their gear.
“Listen right now, Lil’ Bit – my princesses will not date. Hell will freeze over before that happens.” She has the nerve to giggle, but I am being dead ass serious. “I am serious on that. Also, what the hell about Daytona? Where are Cheyenne and Shiloh going to be?”
She just rolls her eyes at me. Sorry if I am exasperating you with my concerns. She lets out a deep sigh and begins, “Well, they will date, but delude yourself all you want. They will stay here with Amelia, you know the woman we employ as a nanny for our sixteen and seventeen year old siblings. Colby’s parents are also coming down to help, and Cambree and Dustin will be in and out. They will be about three months, and it will be fine. Plus, you will be here.” Did she just tell me that I wasn’t going to Daytona? Hell, she shouldn’t be going to Daytona but I wasn’t dumb enough to tell her that.
“I am not comfortable with you leaving the little ones for that long, Addison.” I am trying to keep my voice as even as possible.
“Well, you don’t have to be comfortable with it. I do, and I am. Thanks for your concern though. Like I said, you are their dad, and you will be here.” Damn, not what I was hoping for. I take a deep breath and decide I will try and discuss this with her later. I do what is expected and follow her into the house.
Brielle meets us at the door and goes to take Shiloh from me, but I swat her hands away. “What the fuck, Tyler?” She gives me the most disgusted look.
“Look B, they just had shots and were put through many forms of torture. I am positive. I need to keep them close to me, so I know they won’t have side effects,” I tell her and give her a look, daring her to push this issue. I may be scared of this girl every second of any day, but when it comes to my babies, there is no contest. I will win that battle.
She looks over at Addy, and they have a silent conversation, and Addy shakes her head and says, “Recorded for evidence.” I don’t know what that was about, and I don’t care. I ju
st want to get the babies settled and see my cousin.
Brielle has the pack and plays with a baby monitor set up in the rec room downstairs, so after they are transferred from their car seats, we all go upstairs. Colby is in the kitchen and motions me in there. “Let them have a few minutes to catch up,” he tells me.
We are just talking about mundane things, and I am listening over the baby monitors, making sure I can hear them breathe. “Tyler, what is wrong with you?”
“Dude, they got shots today, and I have to say I am not a fan.” I am fully expecting Colby to start laughing at me or picking on me, after all he has more experience. Instead, his eyes get big, and he shudders.
“No shit. It was bad when CJ had them, but I refused after Riley’s first appointment. They threatened to call security. I told Brielle she was out of her fucking mind if she thought that was safe or necessary. Needless to say I had blue balls for awhile, so now I just keep my mouth shut and don’t step in that doctor’s office. Just because they went to school longer than me doesn’t make them smarter about my kids.”
Thank fuck he understands.
“Addy seemed to think it was amusing. Then she has the nerve to talk about my little sweet babies dating later on in life. She is really pissing me off today.” This does earn a chuckle from him.
“Oh God, and you have two. I about lost my shit on Brielle when she mentioned the d word and my baby girl. They think that shit will happen, but they are so wrong. Now, CJ, he will be the man, and that is fine. With a boy you only have to worry about one prick, but with daughters you have to worry about all the pricks.” Holy shit, he just broke it down to me. Then he continues, “Speaking of pricks. Dustin has turned into a man whore, and it is funny as hell to see Brielle lose her shit about that. Then I tease her about CJ being like that, and while that may result in me being cut off for a few days, it is worth it to see her react the way I do over my little girl. You need to get Addison pregnant again and have a boy. Even that shit out for a little while.” Has he lost his ever-loving mind? Addison and I weren’t anywhere close to the baby-making stage.
Parker Sibling Series Box Set Page 20
