Wanderlust

by Natalie K. Martin

  ‘But you were just moaning about the lack of sausages and burgers.’

  ‘What can I say, I miss it sometimes. Barbecues are my weakness.’

  Alex grinned and shook his head. ‘So why didn’t you say anything when I cooked dinner on your first night?’

  She shrugged. ‘You seemed to have already made up your mind about me, so I decided not to tell you anything at all.’

  ‘That’s fair enough, but since we’ve come onto that topic, so did you.’

  Selina pulled a face.

  ‘Come on,’ he said, nudging her with his shoulder. ‘Admit it.’

  She took a long sip of her drink. Admitting it would mean admitting to being judgemental, and even worse, that she’d been wrong.

  ‘You know what they say about first impressions,’ she replied, fully aware that she’d evaded answering properly.

  ‘Yes, I do, but if I stuck by my first impressions, I’d still think you were a condescending city girl who was out of her depth but still thought she was better than everyone else.’

  Selina’s mouth dropped open. Condescending? She remained silent as Loki curled himself up next to her. Alex’s comments had stung, but she’d be damned if she let him knew that.

  ‘I still think you’re serious,’ he continued. ‘But since I like to give people more than one chance, I’d say my second impression is that you’re sharp, intelligent and you don’t give up easily. I didn’t think you’d last two hours here but you impressed me, especially after almost chopping your hand off just to save a few tomatoes. I like you.’

  Why did that make a smile twitch at her lips? She kept her hand rooted in Loki’s fur but looked back at Alex.

  ‘And,’ he added, ‘I’d say you definitely don’t like to admit to being wrong.’

  ‘I don’t. But my first impressions of you were that you were an arrogant, know-it-all crusty hippy with more muscles than brains.’

  ‘Damn, that hurts.’ Alex laughed. ‘And now?’

  She grinned. ‘I still think you’re a hippy, even if you do have a smartphone and Facebook. ‘

  ‘Do you still think I’m crusty?’

  He was anything but. In fact, she found it hard to imagine why she’d ever thought so to begin with. He always smelled fresh and minty, and just looking at his skin made her want to reach out and stroke it. In the silvery light of a full moon, he looked almost angelic, sitting cross-legged on the ground next to her. Almost. His intense blue eyes seemed to probe every inch of her body, and there was nothing innocent or angelic about them.

  She laughed and shook her head. ‘No, I don’t. And I like you, too.’

  When they’d first met, she’d taken the way he’d looked at her as a sign of disdain, as if he were trying to figure out what the hell she was doing there, but now she was beginning to think differently. He’d said he liked her. Maybe that was why now, when she caught him looking at her, it was like being momentarily jolted out of reality to a place where there was no need for self-made promises to stay away from guys. He probably only meant that he liked her as a friend, but a little fantasising couldn’t do any harm, could it?

  ‘I still don’t get why you walk around barefoot all the time though,’ she said.

  ‘And I still don’t get why you have such a big problem with it. It’s really not that abnormal.’

  Selina wrinkled her nose but kept the smile on her face. Clearly, the shoes vs. no shoes argument was one that neither one of them were willing to back down from.

  ‘I’m glad you don’t think I’m crusty anymore but the hippy bit…’ He shrugged. ‘Oh well. Like you said, we can’t all be perfect.’

  ‘You do know I wasn’t actually calling you perfect, don’t you?’

  ‘I do. As much as it hurts.’ He clutched his chest with his hands over his heart in mock pain before looking at her with an outstretched hand. ‘Truce?’

  Selina grinned and shook it. ‘Truce.’

  It was a huge relief. It took so much mental effort trying to get comfortable with her surroundings, as well as trying to impress Alex and show him she could cope with life in Colinas Verde.

  ‘So, what’s your story? I barely know anything about you,’ Alex said and she laughed. ‘You said you’re from London?’

  She nodded. ‘I moved there for work, but I’m originally from Brighton.’

  ‘What did you do?’

  ‘Temping, mostly. I quit uni and decided to try my luck working instead.’

  ‘Ah, so you’re a drop out.’ He winked at her. ‘What did you study?’

  ‘Physiotherapy.’

  ‘Why’d you give it up?’

  Selina shrugged. ‘I liked the idea of it but the more I studied, the more I realised I wanted to do something else. Maybe I have an irrational fear of working in a job I’d only come to hate years down the line.’

  Alex nodded before lying down on the grass. ‘Nothing wrong with that. Nobody in their right mind wants to do something they don’t enjoy.’

  ‘The stupid thing is though, that’s exactly what I did. I temped because I thought it would give me more freedom than having a permanent job but I’d go to whichever assignment my agency secured and hate it.’

  ‘Is that why you left?’

  ‘Part of the reason, yeah.’

  ‘And the other part?’

  She sighed and laid down next to him. How had their conversation twisted to talk about the past, especially when that past had the potential to shatter the happiness of the present?

  ‘Let me guess. Bad break-up?’

  She swallowed and looked at the moon. As beautiful as it was, she couldn’t help wishing for a moonless, starlit sky instead. At least that way, she’d be able to hide from Alex’s all knowing gaze.

  ‘Something like that.’ She softly stroked Loki’s fur as he slept next to her.

  ‘What happened?’

  ‘It was mean and cruel, and that’s all I really want to say.’ She turned her head to look at him and he nodded.

  ‘Fair enough.’

  ‘What about you?’ she asked after a few seconds. ‘What’s your story?’

  ‘Well, we have something in common,’ he replied, turning to lie on his side and face her. ‘Like you, I dropped out of uni. I was supposed to become a dentist like my dad, but I decided I liked rock-climbing better.’

  ‘So you became a rock-climber instead?’ She raised an eyebrow and Alex nodded.

  She didn’t even know rock-climbing could even be a job, but it was easier to imagine him doing that than performing root canals. At the very least, it explained his toned physique.

  ‘For four years. I was good enough to get sponsored and I loved it, but I broke my arm and had to stop. I was climbing in Italy a couple of years ago on a route I’d done plenty of times before. I knew it back to front.’ He shook his head. ‘There was maybe an inch of space on a ledge and it crumbled under my fingers. Maybe it was complacency, I don’t know, but I lost my grip, fell and smashed into the rock face.’

  Selina winced. ‘Didn’t you use a rope?’

  ‘Yes, and it stopped me from falling to my death. It could have been a lot worse but it killed my career.’

  ‘And that’s why you’re travelling now?’

  ‘Kind of, yeah. The accident was nearly two years ago but things got a bit…complicated after that.’

  He looked away and Selina frowned. Clearly, she wasn’t the only one with a story to hide.

  ‘Complicated how?’

  Alex blew out a puff of air. ‘It just was. I was mean and cruel, and I’d rather not talk about it.’

  ‘Fair enough. Everyone’s running from something or towards something, right?’ she said, replaying Penny’s words. ‘It’s funny how life works out. I mean, whatever our reasons are for leaving, if they hadn’t happened then we wouldn’t be here now. Maybe running away from something isn’t all bad.’

  ‘That’s true.’

  ‘It can even be fun.’

  ‘Are you having fun
here?’

  She nodded. ‘It’s different to what I expected, but so far it’s okay.’

  The last thing she wanted was to sound critical of Colinas Verde, but she missed the buzz of the city. It was Friday night, which would usually mean a night out with Natasha. At least, that’s what it would have meant before she’d found out about the photos.

  They laid in silence for a while, listening to the crackling logs in the fire bowl. It was soothing and hypnotic and she realised that, for the first time, the feeling of humiliation after seeing the pictures on the screen of her mobile phone wasn’t so acute.

  ‘Hey, I’ve got an idea,’ Alex said as he sat up. ‘There’s a party tomorrow night on the mainland. I don’t expect big things from it, it’s just a house party, but it could be fun. It’s for a friend I met over Instagram. She visited Colinas Verde last year, that’s how I found out about this place. I’m sure it wouldn’t be a problem to bring you, too. So, what do you say to cementing our new-found friendship with a party?’

  Selina smiled. Their newfound friendship. When he’d put it like that, there was no way she could turn him down.

  Day Four

  Chapter Seven

  The next afternoon, Selina walked along the freshwater creek and watched as Loki bounded over the small rocks to fetch the stick she’d just thrown. After the bonfire last night, she’d gone back to the bungalow with Alex and they’d stayed up until almost two in the morning, sitting on the sofa and swapping snippets of information about each other. Tonight, they’d be going to the party he’d invited her to, and she had the inexplicable feeling that the night ahead would be one where anything could happen. She’d woken up this morning with a stomach full of nerves, debating whether going to the party would be a good idea after all.

  ‘Good boy,’ she said, crouching down to take the stick from Loki’s mouth when he returned. His tail wagged with a sense of accomplishment and he looked up at her expectantly. She threw the stick again and pulled her mobile from her pocket.

  She’d been trying to decide what to do all morning but what she really needed was advice, and Natasha, her oldest friend was just the person to talk to. Colinas Verde might be a hippy-like commune but it had Wi-Fi that was so strong, it reached the fields and the creek. She’d already sent a message to her parents, reassuring them that she was still alive and doing fine, but she’d yet to speak to Natasha. London was two hours behind and, with any luck, Natasha would be on her lunch break.

  After signing into the Skype app, she dialled her number and the hundreds of miles between Ibiza and London fell away when she saw the familiar face of her friend on the screen.

  ‘Well, it’s about bloody time.’ Natasha grinned.

  ‘It’s only been four days,’ Selina replied, rolling her eyes, but it was only now that she could see her best friend that she realised how much she missed her. With jet-black hair hanging in a perfectly cut bob and a bright red fringe, Natasha looked like she should be a model starring in music videos instead of managing a bookshop.

  ‘So? I need regular updates from my world-travelling bestie. What’s it like? Is it hot? Are there any hot guys?’

  Selina laughed. ‘Yes, it’s hot, and it’s really nice. I’ll send through some pics later, but this is where I am right now.’

  She held the phone away from herself and turned in a circle to give Natasha the panoramic view of the creek. Sunlight shone through the trees lining both sides of the sparkling water that was so clear she could see the smooth stones and small fish beneath the surface. A hammock was strung up between two trees just ahead and the ever-present sound of cicadas filled the air.

  ‘It looks like paradise,’ Natasha said, resting her chin in her hand.

  Selina nodded. ‘You should see the other side where I’m staying, it’s unreal. There are huge Buddha statues everywhere, and the bungalows are all painted in different colours. And then there’s the fields where they grow all their own fruit and veg. It’s taking a bit of time to get used to, but it’s great.’

  ‘Meanwhile, in London…’ Natasha gave Selina a view of the cafe she was sitting in, with its faux leather booths and laminated wooden walls.

  ‘At least it’s not raining,’ Selina said, catching a glimpse of the busy street outside the huge window. ‘And is that sunshine I can see?’

  ‘Well, it is August. Unfortunately for me, that means sweaty tube rides and gnarly feet in flip-flops everywhere I look.’ She shuddered. ‘I bet it feels like a different planet over there.’

  ‘It does, especially without you. I miss you.’

  ‘So much so that’s taken you four days to call.’ Natasha pouted, but her eyes were bright. ‘You’re lucky I love you, or I’d never speak to you again.’

  ‘I love you, too. And someone wants to say hello.’ Selina crouched down next to Loki and ruffled his fur. ‘This is Loki. Can you believe walking him counts as work?’

  ‘He’s cute, but I was hoping to see something with two legs and a six pack.’

  The memory of Alex’s toned body streaked itself across Selina’s mind but she frowned as she stood back up. ‘You know that’s not what I’m here for.’

  ‘No, but a little eye-candy can’t hurt, can it?’

  ‘I suppose.’ Selina chewed at a nail. ‘As it happens, there is a guy here, but he’s leaving in a few days.’

  ‘Is he fit?’

  ‘Yep.’

  ‘My kind of fit, or your kind of fit?’

  Selina laughed. Natasha often said that one of the reasons their friendship worked so well was that they had such different taste in men that there was zero chance of one ever coming between them. While Selina tended to go for guys who looked like they could model for Hollister, Natasha preferred hipsters with waxed hair, beards and upturned jeans.

  ‘My kind of fit. Tall, blonde, great body, crazy blue eyes.’

  ‘Sounds nice,’ Natasha replied and took a bite of a sandwich.

  Selina walked over to the hammock with Loki following closely behind and sighed as she folded herself into it.

  ‘Actually, I really didn’t like him at first. He came across as a bit of a twat.’

  ‘And now?’

  ‘Now…’ Selina tried to think of a way to sum up her confusing mix of emotions. ‘Now I don’t know. He’s nice. We’ve kind of become friends.’

  ‘What’s his name?’

  ‘Alex.’ Selina draped a leg over the side of the hammock and pushed her foot into the ground to make it swing. ‘He’s from Berlin but he’s half-English, and a Buddhist, sort of. And he used to be a rock-climber.’

  ‘That sounds like a good mix. Have you got a photo of him?’

  ‘No, and before you ask, I haven’t friended him on Facebook, so you can’t go and be all MI5 by stalking him.’

  ‘Well that’s just taken the fun out of today. Is there a little flirtation going on?’

  ‘Of course not. Have you forgotten the reason I left in the first place?’

  ‘As if I could. But it’s not a stupid question to ask. You’re travelling. You’re going to be meeting new people all the time and a huge portion of them are probably going to be hot guys.’

  ‘I know, but it doesn’t mean I can’t just be friends with them. I’m really not looking to get involved with anyone again after what Liam did.’

  ‘That arsehole.’ Natasha cracked open a can of coke. ‘Have you heard from him at all?’

  Selina shook her head. ‘He wouldn’t dare. I don’t expect to have contact with him ever again. Until we go to court, that is.’

  It was the one thing Selina wasn’t looking forward to over the next few months. Her parents had told her she needed to stay in London to see the proceedings through, but the idea of staying in a place where it felt like every third person knew what she looked like half-naked was one she simply couldn’t bear.

  ‘I know this is all really tough, but are you really going to let that little prick turn you off guys altogether?’

  Selina s
ighed. ‘It’s not as simple as that Tasha.’

  ‘I’m not saying you need to sleep with Alex, but you jacked in your job, withdrew all your savings and jumped on a plane to leave what he did behind you and have an adventure. So have one. Screw that, have many. You only live once.’

  ‘I am having an adventure. I’m here, aren’t I?’

  ‘Yes, and I’m proud of you for it, but what’s the point if you don’t let yourself experience things while you’re there?’

  ‘He’s leaving in a few days anyway,’ Selina replied, trying to ignore the slightly sinking feeling that had started to creep in whenever she thought him heading away from Colinas Verde.

  ‘There you go then. That’s even better. You can have a little flirt and after that you don’t have to see him again. It’s not like you have to marry the guy.’

  Selina sighed. She’d known that Natasha would tell her to go for it, because she always did, with anything. The decision to leave England had initially only been a fleeting one, but it was Natasha who’d made it happen by helping Selina to scour the internet for volunteering opportunities. Her response was exactly why Selina had called her in the first place.

  ‘I don’t even know if he likes me,’ she said in a half-hearted attempt to argue back.

  ‘And you won’t know if you don’t at least send a signal that you’re interested.’

  ‘He walks around barefoot.’

  ‘So? It’s not like you need to kiss his feet.’

  A smile tugged at Selina’s lips. She was clutching at straws and both she and Natasha knew it.

  ‘He’s a sort of Buddhist. He might even be celibate.’

  ‘And I like to cook pasta, it doesn’t mean I’m really Italian. You’re going to have to come up with something better than that.’

  Selina laughed. ‘Okay, okay. I hear you. We’ll see. We’re going to a party tonight and -’

  ‘And that’s totally the reason you called me.’ Natasha interrupted with a grin. ‘You needed a kick up the arse and to be told you should go and see what happens, and you knew I’d tell you so.’

  Selina laughed. This was why she loved Natasha, because she always seemed to know what Selina needed and even if it took a beat-around-the-bush phone call, she always delivered.