Wanderlust

by Natalie K. Martin

  ‘I fully expect to hear every single detail tomorrow. No waiting for four days, okay?’

  Selina nodded. ‘Brownies honour.’

  After a few more minutes of catching up, Selina hung up. Despite the quietness of her surroundings, she felt invigorated. Natasha was right. The last four days had flown by before she’d even had a chance to blink, and the next few months would probably be the same. Maybe she should be more open to whatever experiences came her way. There was nothing to say that Alex even liked her like that but she knew she’d hate to see him leave and then wonder, what if?

  Chapter Eight

  Alex pulled on a t-shirt, looked in the mirror and then took it off again. It was the third one he’d tried on and he only had a few more hanging in the wardrobe. They were all perfectly acceptable for a night out, but today they just seemed a bit...shabby.

  He looked in the mirror and raked his hands through his hair, tying it back. It hadn’t been cut for almost six months and it almost reached the nape of his neck. It wasn’t a style he’d ever envisaged for himself, but it was easier to just let it grow. Why couldn’t picking a t-shirt be just as easy? Selina probably wouldn’t even notice anyway.

  The switch from disliking her to being increasingly attracted to her was something he couldn’t quite get his head around. Maybe it was because he’d really been impressed by her gusto, injuring herself just to save face and show him she could cope with life at Colinas Verde.

  Alex shook his head and pulled the t-shirt back on. Enough faffing around. He didn’t have all night to stand around trying on clothes. He picked up his wallet from the bed, just as his phone vibrated on the chest of drawers and his shoulders dropped. He knew who it was before he even looked at the screen and hesitated for a moment before unlocking the screen. WhatsApp would leave a date stamp and Marie would know he’d been online but he couldn’t go on ignoring her forever. Her constant messages weren’t only reminding him about what he was running away from, they were hindering what he was hoping to move onto.

  He looked at the time. Selina was in her room getting ready and they were supposed to be leaving for the party soon, but he sat on the bed and opened WhatsApp anyway. Reading the inevitable barrage of abuse was the last thing he wanted to do, even if he did deserve it, but he didn’t want to go to the party with Marie in the back of his mind either. He scrolled through his screen, shaking his head as he read her erratic messages.

  - The least you could do is answer me after the way you treated me.

  - How’s Ibiza? Was thinking of flying out for a holiday, whereabouts are you? Xx

  - You know you’re making me look desperate don’t you? Why the fuck don’t you write back?!

  - Fuck you, Alex. You’re a fucking coward.

  - Hi, from all of us! It’s not the same without you here! <3 <3

  She’d sent a photo with the last message of her and friends in what was their favourite club, grinning from ear to ear. He looked at the crowd of people behind them, basking in the sun, playing in the sand or lying on the deck chairs in the outdoor area and didn’t feel a single jolt of longing. Marie’s photo only reaffirmed why he’d left in the first place.

  He exhaled loudly and put his phone away with unease sitting heavily in the pit of his stomach. She might have been smiling in the photo, but her earlier messages had relayed her anger perfectly.

  He got up from the bed and left the room. In all honesty, reading those messages had killed his mood. The last thing he wanted to do now was go to a party, but Selina had seemed excited about it. Maybe they could just go for a couple of hours and then come home.

  ‘Selina?’ Alex knocked on her bedroom door. ‘Are you almost ready? I’m going to get the keys for the truck.’

  ‘Okay, I’ll be five minutes,’ she called back, her voice barely audible over the music playing in her room.

  Alex left and went to pick up the keys from the cupboard hanging in the wood store. Even the cars were shared here and as long as they were returned with the same amount of petrol they’d been picked up with, there was no problem with taking one. They weren’t Maserati’s or Ferrari’s, but they had four wheels and an engine, and were reliable enough for the most part. He took the key to the blue pick-up truck and stopped at Penny’s on the way back to the bungalow. She was watering the plants dotted around the porch and she smiled, straightening up when she saw him.

  ‘You off?’ she asked

  He nodded and threw the keys up into the air before catching them again. ‘Yep. We’ll only be a couple of hours, I think.’

  Penny pulled a face. ‘Why so short?’

  He shrugged. ‘I could just do with an early night.’

  ‘Is everything okay?’

  One of the first things Alex had noticed about Penny was that she rarely missed anything. She could sniff out the slightest whiff of a lie simply by detecting small facial expressions and changes in tone. He knew she had a daughter back in England and maybe that was why, because the only other person he knew with such an acute bullshit radar was his mum.

  ‘Yeah, fine. Just stuff from back home, that’s all.’

  ‘Marie?’ Penny tilted her head to one side. Alex hesitated to reply and she smiled. ‘I haven’t seen that look on your face since you first told me about her.’

  He scratched the back of his neck. He’d told her about Marie a few days after he’d arrived. Penny was so easy to talk to and non-judgmental, that it had simply fallen from his mouth before he’d even had the chance to think about it.

  ‘She sent some more messages and they were…I don’t know.’ Alex shook his head. ‘They were strange. One minute she was pissed at me, the next she was asking where I was because she was thinking of flying out for a holiday. Her last message was a photo of her in a club, saying she wished I were there. I don’t know what I’m supposed to think.’

  ‘She’s hurt, Alex,’ Penny said, putting the watering can down on the floor. ‘It’s going to take some time.’

  ‘We were only together for a few months.’

  ‘Time isn’t relevant in situations like this.’ She sat on one of the chairs and crossed her legs before patting the empty one next to her. Alex obeyed and joined her. ‘You know, Alex, sometimes you can meet someone for the shortest of times and forge a bond so strong it’s as if you’ve known each other a lifetime.’

  It wasn’t a concept he was unfamiliar with. His parents had met at the age of seventeen and were still together to this day. The difference was that their love was real, whereas anything that might have even resembled love with Marie was almost certainly chemically induced.

  ‘You upped and left without telling her. It’d be selfish to think she wouldn’t be hurt by that.’

  Alex sighed and looked at the ground. ‘I know. I just didn’t know what else to do.’

  ‘Look, I’m not saying you’re a bad person,’ Penny said softly, placing a hand on his bouncing knee. ‘In fact, I think the opposite is true. I can see how this whole situation is playing on your mind and even though the way you left was questionable, it was the right thing to do. Otherwise you would have ended up just like her.’

  He played with the keys in his hand. ‘I just thought it would have died down by now, that’s all.’

  ‘Problems will always catch up to you sooner or later.’

  Alex nodded. ‘I know. I’m going to have to call her. And soon.’

  ‘Tonight’s not the night to do it. You’re going to go to this party and have fun. You’ve worked hard since you’ve been here, you deserve it. There’s a beautiful girl in that bungalow looking forward to a night out and you don’t want to keep her waiting. Go, have fun, and make sure you look after her.’

  She left him on the porch and he looked over at the light shining from Selina’s room before heading back to the bungalow. Just as he took the steps to the porch, Selina stepped out of the front door.

  ‘I’m ready.’

  She was putting in a dangly earring and all Alex could do was
stare at her. She was wearing a short, cream playsuit with a brown belt tight around her waist. It accentuated her curves perfectly, as well as doing a great job of showing off her long legs. Paired with dainty flat sandals and a tiny bag, she looked perfect.

  He swallowed and nodded, holding up the keys in his hand. ‘Let’s go.’

  She closed the front door and stepped down from the porch, and Alex led the way to the truck. What would happen if he were to loosen up on the promise he’d made to himself and make a move? They’d got closer over the last couple of days, or at least he thought they had. It was probably just his imagination. Besides, she’d told him she’d left London because of a cruel and mean break-up, and he’d used the same words to describe why he’d left Berlin.

  He swung open the passenger door and she climbed up into the truck. He only had two days left, and it would be a lot easier if he kept his intentions to himself.

  Day Five

  Chapter Nine

  Selina headed back down the brightly lit hallway holding two glasses of champagne. After Alex had told her it would only be a house party, she hadn’t expected much, but this was something else.

  When they’d driven up through the hills, it had become obvious that this would be no ordinary birthday party. The few houses they’d passed were nothing less than mansions, and she’d craned her neck to look at the fleeting glimpses of them through the trees. When they’d pulled up outside Erin’s house, she’d sat in the truck with her jaws hanging open. It was three storeys high, almost completely made of glass and surrounded by fragrant orange trees, and exuded understated glamour.

  She stepped out onto the terrace, if she could call it that. It was enormous, with plants, sleek sculptures and stylish uplighting from the terracotta-tiled floor. There must have been a hundred people packed onto it and there was still more than enough space. It was her first night out in what felt like forever, and she was enjoying every second of it. With mid-tempo techno music wafting through the air and the pool full of people, it almost felt like she was an extra on a movie set. Alex had told her that Erin had inherited the house, along with a huge amount of money when her dad, an investment banker, had died. It made sense. What other twenty-seven year old could afford a house like this and throw a party with an apparently endless supply of food and alcohol, not to mention the DJ and fire-dancers.

  She spotted Alex standing alone by the wrought iron railing, looking at the pool below and walked over to him.

  ‘This is such a great party,’ she said, handing him his glass. ‘Thanks for inviting me.’

  Alex downed the glass in one go and grimaced. ‘Actually, I was just thinking the opposite. In fact, I was considering heading back.’

  Selina pulled a face. ‘Why?’

  ‘This isn’t my scene.’

  ‘Penny told me you used to be quite the raver. I’d have thought this would be right up your street.’

  ‘What did she tell you?’ he asked.

  Was it her imagination, or had he suddenly just got really defensive?

  ‘Just that you used to go out a lot. I was pretty surprised, what with you being a barefoot crusty hippy and everything.’ Selina grinned and nudged his shoulder, but he didn’t return it.

  ‘The me that Penny told you about doesn’t exist anymore. I don’t like this kind of stuff anymore and I really don’t want to stay any longer than I have to.’

  She wanted to stay, to have some more champagne, talk to him some more, and yes, flirt with him too. If she’d have known he’d want to leave after only an hour, she’d have made a move already. It was only her nerves holding her back.

  From the moment she’d started getting ready back in Colinas Verde, she’d been trying to hold them at bay. She’d spent ages getting ready, deciding on what to wear and trying to see herself through Alex’s eyes, and since arriving at Erin’s house, she’d worked through myriad ways to try and step things up to the next level in her head. It would all have been for nothing if they left now but one look at his face told her that he’d already made up his mind.

  Selina sighed. ‘Okay. If that’s what you want.’

  ‘I’m sorry. This just isn’t what I was expecting.’

  ‘Don’t worry about it. It’s just a party.’ She shrugged and looked away, trying to hide her disappointment.

  Maybe it was better that they did go home. They’d grown closer, but she’d made a promise to herself to stay away from guys. Maybe he was doing her a favour and saving herself from something she’d regret down the line.

  Alex sighed. ‘Ah, egal.’

  ‘In English?’

  ‘Sorry. It means fuck it,’ he explained. ‘I can handle it a little longer.’

  ‘Really?’ She grinned. ‘Because if you’re really not into it, we can leave. I don’t mind.’

  Alex stuffed his hands in his pockets. ‘Another hour won’t hurt.’

  His body language suggested the opposite, but an extra hour would buy her a little time.

  ‘Thanks. Really.’

  ‘It’s nothing.’ He shrugged, but it was something.

  The reality was, she still wasn’t even sure that he liked her like that but somehow, being at the party bolstered her courage. It was less pressure than being alone in the quiet romantic surroundings of Colinas Verde.

  ‘I just need to nip to the toilet, could you keep hold of this?’ She handed him her glass with a grin. ‘I’ll be back in two minutes.’

  ‘You’d better get a move on, then because we've only got fifty-eight left.’ He returned her grin and she left for the bathroom.

  Fifty-eight minutes. Surely that was plenty of time to try and move things forward? They’d already wished Erin a happy birthday and spoken with some of the other guests. When she got back to him, they’d find a quiet corner somewhere and talk alone, and make the minutes count. And the glass of champagne she’d left with Alex would be her last. The bubbles had gone straight to her head and she didn’t want to make a fool of herself. Being the one to make the first move was nerve-wracking enough without feeling too tipsy to do it.

  On the way back outside, she saw a half empty bottle of water someone had left on the table. She could go back to the kitchen and get one, but it seemed like such a long way away and she wanted to get back to Alex. She shrugged and greedily drained the bottle in record time. It was only water and whoever it belonged to had obviously forgotten about it. She grimaced once she’d finished, hoping it hadn’t been filled from the tap. The last thing she wanted was to get sick and the water had a funny, bitter taste to it. Still, it had satisfied her thirst and she’d needed it to clear her head.

  As she wandered back outside, she saw faltered. Alex was chatting to a group of people. How was she supposed to get him on his own? She headed over to him, fixing a smile onto her face.

  ‘This is Selina,’ Alex said when she joined them. ‘She’s staying at Colinas Verde too.’

  If he hadn’t told her he’d wanted to leave, she’d have believed he was in his element. Nothing about his tone or body language even hinted at him not having a good time. After introducing her to the group they were soon drawn into conversation and he seemed as at ease as he did back in Colinas Verde.

  Selina leaned back against the railing, trying to involve herself instead of wishing she could drag Alex away to somewhere they could talk by themselves, but with every passing second, she felt more and more removed from what was going on. She fixed a look of concentration onto her face and tried to focus, but she couldn’t hear anything other than the beat of her heart in her chest.

  ‘Selina?’

  Alex’s voice jolted her and she pulled her head back down. When she turned to look at him, her vision blurred. He put a hand on her shoulder and it blazed like fire against her skin. She looked at him, blinking, trying to refocus her eyes but his face was still blurred as he moved to stand right in front of her.

  ‘Selina? Are you okay?’

  She squinted her eyes at him. ‘I don’t know.’
>
  The pounding in her ears reminded her of the time she’d fainted after slicing her toe open on a broken floor tile when she was twelve. She’d heard her own heartbeat, just before blacking out. Her stomach suddenly turned and she swallowed.

  ‘Come on,’ Alex said, taking her by the arm. ‘I think you should sit down for a bit.’

  They left the group and he led her over to the chairs, she stumbled over her feet. Her legs felt wobbly and light, as if they couldn’t possibly carry her weight and Alex wrapped an arm around her waist to keep her steady until he lowered her into a chair.

  ‘How much have you had to drink?’ he asked, crouching in front of her.

  ‘A few glasses of champagne.’

  ‘How many?’

  ‘Three or four. I don’t know.’

  He took her chin in his hand. His eyes scanned her face and the way he pulled his eyebrows together made her heart ram in her chest even harder.

  ‘Why are you looking at me like that?’ she asked.

  ‘How do you feel?’

  Selina swallowed. ‘Sick.’

  Her stomach was rolling, as if someone were kneading it like dough. She’d had three or four glasses of champagne before. Hell, she’d had more than that before, plenty of times, but it had never felt like this. She’d never felt so wobbly inside, or so damned hot.

  ‘Have you taken anything?’

  She pulled her chin away from him and shook her head with a fierce frown on her face. ‘No. I would never do drugs. I’m not into that stuff.’

  Maybe she’d been spiked. It happened to people all the time, but she’d poured her own champagne.

  ‘Did you have anything else? Anything at all?’

  Selina shook her head before remembering the water she’d had. ‘I had some water, but that’s it.’

  ‘From the tap?’

  ‘No. I found it.’

  Alex swore under his breath. ‘I’ll be right back. Don’t move.’