To Be a Man

by Anne Schraff

  “I think about you all the time, babe,” Vanessa told him. “I’m sorry about the other night that you had to walk home. I didn’t think my dumb sister would drink so much. I thought maybe you were mad at me about that. I felt so bad.”

  “Oh no, I wasn’t mad,” Trevor said. “I like to jog. It helps me run faster on the track team. You sure I didn’t wake you up? It’s almost eleven thirty. You must think I’m crazy calling you at this hour, huh?”

  “Babe, I was watching a movie,” she explained. “It just ended a couple minutes ago. I watch old movies when I get home from work. I love old movies. I like old actors and actresses like Humphrey Bogart and Ingrid Bergman. I’ve seen Casablanca a zillion times.”

  “You get off work tomorrow at six?” Trevor asked.

  “Yeah,” she said.

  “Maybe we could hang out, you know? I can borrow my brother’s car ’cause he gets home early tomorrow. We could just go watch the sun go down in the bay. No big deal. Just an hour and a half or something,” Trevor suggested.

  “Oh, I’d love that!” Vanessa exclaimed.

  “Okay, six tomorrow. See you, babe,” Trevor signed off.

  When Tommy was leaving for community college in the morning, Trevor went to his car. “Give me a lift to Tubman?”

  “Sure, why not,” Tommy agreed.

  “Tommy,” Trevor said when they were on the way, “when you get home from school tomorrow, can I borrow your car for just a couple hours? Like maybe six to eight-thirty or something like that?”

  “What for?” Tommy asked.

  “Man, I know all you told me, but I want to see her,” Trevor confessed. “We’re just going down to the bay to watch the sun go down. Tommy, maybe what you said is true and she did a bad thing, but that was two years ago, and she’s real sweet now. You can’t hold something against a person forever. I really need your wheels, man.”

  “Okay, fool,” Tommy said. “On one condition. If this thing blows up, don’t tell Ma I loaned you my car so you could go see Vanessa. I don’t want Ma coming down on me. You tell her I loaned you the car to do stuff with Jaris. Deal?”

  “Yeah, you bet,” Trevor agreed. “It’s all on me, man. Thanks a million.”

  “Don’t thank me, sucka,” Tommy warned him. “I’m helping you get in trouble. I’m doing what they call ‘enabling.’ I’m making it easier for you to get mixed up with a loser.”

  At lunch at Tubman High the next day, Trevor ate under the eucalyptus trees with his usual circle of friends. Jaris Spain and his girlfriend, Sereeta, were there, along with Oliver, Alonee, and Sami Archer. Sami’s boyfriend, Matson Malloy, was busy practicing for the track meet coming up against Lincoln. Sami had just been crowned Princess of the Fair at the Tubman High Medieval Fair. Everybody had expected the honor would go to a beautiful girl like Sereeta Prince, but Sami was popular with everyone for her good heart and willingness to help. She was overweight, but what most people noticed about her were her bright dancing eyes and a smile that wouldn’t quit. The Princess of the Fair title was intended to go to the girl who best exemplified the courage and compassion of Harriet Tubman, the school namesake. That was Sami.

  “So,” Sami declared. “Everybody buzzing about you having a girlfriend, Trevor. Old Marko and Jasmine talking it up that you had lipstick on your face the other night after a hot date.”

  “That fool can’t keep his nose out of other people’s business,” Oliver commented. Oliver had already had his problems with Marko. Once he almost punched him out.

  Trevor looked down for a moment, then he responded. “Ma doesn’t want me having a girlfriend, you guys. Oliver, you’re new around here, so you don’t know my ma. She’s one tough lady. She’s worked hard and sacrificed for me and my brothers, but she’s like a prison warden. She watches me like a hawk. She doesn’t like the girl I’m hanging with, so I gotta see Vanessa in secret.”

  “Who’s Vanessa?” Oliver asked. “Does she go to school here?”

  “Vanessa Allen,” Trevor replied. “She’s sixteen, but she dropped out of Tubman in tenth grade. Ma thinks dropouts are trash. But Vanessa is really a nice girl, and she likes me a lot. I mean, you guys, don’t I have a right to have a girlfriend? You guys all have girlfriends. Your parents aren’t throwing fits over that.”

  “Nothin’ wrong with having a girlfriend, dude,” Sami noted. “Your mama just worried that when you hang out with dropouts, sometime you drop out too. You think, ‘Hey, she dropped school an’ she’s doin’ fine. So why am I goin’ through all this stuff?’”

  “Sami, I’m gonna finish Tubman,” Trevor told her, “and then I’m going to community college like Tommy. I’d never drop out. I’ve always worked hard to get good grades, and now I got a B average, and I’m on the track team and getting better all the time. Coach Curry said I could get an athletic scholarship if I keep going like I am.”

  Jaris knew the story about Vanessa’s getting Mr. Collier in trouble. He’d heard it from Tommy Jenkins, but he wasn’t going to say anything about it to those of his friends who didn’t know. Jaris didn’t know if the story was true, but he wasn’t going to spread it. If Trevor wanted the gang to know, he’d have to tell it.

  “What does Vanessa do now that she dropped out?” Sami asked.

  “She works at the Ice House,” Trevor answered. “She works almost every day. She lives with her sister and she pays her way. She’s not some wild, crazy kid like Ma thinks.”

  “Has your mom ever met Vanessa?” Oliver asked.

  “Are you kidding?” Trevor said with a shudder. “If I brought the girl home, Ma would chase her out with the broom!”

  Jaris said nothing. Alonee turned to Jaris and asked, “You’ve met her, haven’t you? At the Ice House? What did you think of her?”

  Jaris shrugged. “I don’t know. I just said a few words to her. She seemed okay. You can’t find out much about somebody in a few minutes eating yogurt.”

  “You guys,” Trevor groaned. “I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to make Ma mad, but I can’t give up Vanessa. I’m not in love with her or anything, but she’s so fun to be around and I think of her an awful lot.”

  “You know what, Trevor?” Sami advised. “I got a plan. Lissen up, boy. My mama knows your mama. I’ll ask my mama to invite your mama to the Ice House for some frozen yogurt some afternoon. When that girl Vanessa comes to serve them, she gonna be real nice and ladylike. You gonna prime the pump, boy. You gonna tell Vanessa to be extra nice when the ladies come in. My mama’ll say something like, ‘Well, hello Vanessa. All the kids been talking ’bout what a good server you are. You sure seem hard-working. Understand you dropped out of Tubman, but you going for your GED pretty soon I’ll bet!’”

  Trevor smiled broadly. “Wow Sami!” he exclaimed. “That sounds great!”

  “Yeah,” Sami said. “You tell Vanessa to say she’s sorry she quit Tubman, and she wants that GED. So then maybe your mom won’t be so hard on her. She’ll see her in a whole different light.”

  “I’m going to see Vanessa today around six,” Trevor said. “We’re just taking a little drive to watch the sun go down on the bay. I’ll tell her your mom and mine’ll be coming into the Ice House. Oh Sami, you’re wonderful! No wonder they elected you Princess of the Fair! When Ma really meets Vanessa, she won’t think of her as some sassy little witch anymore. When Ma sees that pretty chick being all sweet and polite, she’s bound to soften up.”

  “Well,” Sami said, conspiratorially, “your mom gets off work at the Maples Convalescent Home around noon on Wednesdays. I know ’cause she and my mom do their wash at the little laundry across the street. Your mom don’t go back to work till three. So it’d be sometime after noon and before three that Vanessa should be expectin’ two ladies in the prime of their lives. Mom is forty-one, and she all the time sayin’ she in the prime of her life!” Sami chuckled.

  “Sami, I owe you big time,” Trevor said.

  “Cool down, boy,” Sami commanded. “We ain’t got
a hit yet. We just steppin’ up to the bat.”

  Sami and Sereeta left the lunch spot early to work on a science project for the new teacher taking the place of Mr. Buckingham, who was recovering from a heart attack. The new science teacher, Lorena Walsh, was already well liked.

  The three boys—Jaris, Oliver, and Trevor—remained behind with Alonee. Oliver noticed Jaris seemed troubled. “You haven’t said much, dude. Don’t you like Sami’s idea about helping Trevor get his mom’s approval?”

  Jaris glanced at Trevor. Trevor knew that Jaris knew about Mr. Collier. Jaris knew the story, but he couldn’t come right out and tell it to Oliver.

  Trevor spoke up. “Oliver, you know what’s sticking in Jaris’s craw? He heard this gossip about Vanessa. Okay, my brother Tommy told me. I repeated it to Jaris, but I said I didn’t believe it. The story is that Vanessa was flirting with this young teacher when she was a freshman. When he wouldn’t flirt back, she got him in trouble and he was fired. Now, for one thing, she was just a kid. For another, who knows what’s true?”

  “How’d she get the teacher in trouble?” Oliver asked. “I mean, what’s the story?”

  “Tommy said she told the vice principal that Mr. Collier was flirting with her and asking for dates. So Collier got the axe.”

  “Oh man, that is bad,” Oliver commented.

  Trevor jumped to Vanessa’s defense. “She never would have done that. Maybe this Collier really was flirting with her. He wouldn’t be the first teacher who did something like that. It goes on a lot. I hear about it on TV. How come everybody is so ready to believe Vanessa was lying?”

  Alonee had an unhappy look on her face, but she didn’t say anything. She waited until lunch was over, and then she approached Trevor privately.

  “Trevor, we’re friends, right?” Alonee said.

  “Well, sure,” Trevor agreed.

  “Trevor, I don’t want to stick my nose in something that’s not my business,” she told him, “but this thing about Vanessa and Mr. Collier . . . I don’t know what really happened, but I remember being in Mr. Collier’s class when I was a freshman. I don’t think you ever had a class with Vanessa, did you?”

  “No, I didn’t,” he replied.

  “Well,” Alonee continued, “Vanessa was a big flirt. I mean, a lot of the freshman girls got crushes on teachers, especially one as cute as Mr. Collier. I had a crush on him too. But Vanessa, she’d kinda go overboard. She’d always be sitting up in front right in front of him, and she’d wear these short, short skirts. Mr. Collier would look so embarrassed. I kinda felt sorry for him. He didn’t know where to look. Half the time he’d be teaching to the ceiling. I’m not saying Vanessa was bad or anything. We were fifteen and we were stupid but . . .”

  “Okay,” Trevor conceded, “so she liked Collier. But he was a teacher. He was an adult. If he got friendly with her, it was his fault, not hers.”

  “Trevor, listen to me,” Alonee demanded. “Mr. Collier was never accused of doing anything wrong or unprofessional. Vanessa told Mr. Hawthorne that he was flirting with her, and Mr. Hawthorne just didn’t ask him back at Tubman. Now, if Mr. Collier was that kind of person, he would have lost his teaching credential, but he hasn’t. He was teaching over at McKinley for years, and they took him back when Tubman didn’t keep him on. All I know is, Trevor, she was coming on to him, not the other way around. You just want to be careful, Trevor. Maybe she regrets what she did. Maybe she’s a much better person now. Just watch yourself.”

  “Okay Alonee,” Trevor stated coldly, “you’ve said your piece. I heard you.”

  “Don’t be mad at me, Trevor,” she told him. “If I didn’t care about you, I never would have said anything.”

  “Everybody’s looking out for me,” Trevor complained. “Ma, my brother Tommy, you. Everyone’s out to prove that the first girl in the world who ever really liked me is some piece of trash. But I’m not buying that. You hear what I’m saying, Alonee? I know what Vanessa is and she’s not what any of you think she is. Ma’s wrong, Tommy’s wrong, and you’re wrong. Just because they never proved anything on Collier doesn’t mean he probably didn’t step over the line. Vanessa had to report what happened. She was protecting other girls from being harassed. So the bottom line is, I’m not giving her up, no way no how.” Trevor stomped off.

  Trevor’s heart was pounding as he walked. The more they all tried to tear Vanessa down, the more determined he was to defend her. She was a beautiful sweet girl, and she liked Trevor. It was all he needed to know. It was all he cared about.

  Trevor jogged home after school with nothing on his mind but being with Vanessa as the sun went down over the bay. Dreaming of doing that had cheered him all day. As Trevor neared the house, he saw Tommy’s Mustang parked in the driveway. He was home from community college. Ma was still working and wouldn’t be home until late. The coast was clear.

  In a couple of hours, Trevor would be with Vanessa.

  CHAPTER SIX

  Trevor went in the house. “Hey Tommy, I’m home,” he called. Tommy came down the hall. The brothers looked at each other. “Here, fool,” Tommy snapped. He hurled the keys at Trevor with such force that they hit him in the chest, stinging him, and Trevor had to catch them as they bounced off him.

  Trevor’s fingers closed around the car keys. “Thanks bro,” he said.

  “Don’t thank me, fool,” Tommy warned. “If I was a decent brother I wouldn’t be loaning you these car keys so you could dig yourself a deeper ditch.”

  Trevor went to his room to study a little, but all he could think of was that now he had the wheels to take himself to Vanessa.

  Trevor drove the Cavalier to the Ice House about ten minutes before six. He didn’t want to be a minute late for Vanessa. When Vanessa appeared, Trevor called out, “Hey babe!”

  “Oh, you got some wheels,” Vanessa noted with a grin.

  “It belongs to my brother, but it’ll take us down to the bay to see the sun go down,” Trevor explained. “The time will be just right for that.”

  “Yeah, Trevor,” Vanessa remarked, getting in. “You are so dope.”

  Trevor didn’t know what she meant. He thought of himself as a dork. Kevin and Jaris and Oliver might be dope. But Trevor felt like he didn’t light any fires in girls.

  When they reached the beach, they hiked down a narrow little trail to the sand. Trevor held Vanessa’s hand so she wouldn’t slip.

  “Look, the sun is already starting to go down,” Vanessa pointed out. “And the sky is turning all kinds of pretty colors. It’s almost like a light show.”

  They found a little patch of sand and sat down. It had been a warm day, but the sand was cool. Vanessa reached for Trevor’s hand, and her little fingers wrapped around his. “I’ve never done this with anybody before,” Vanessa told him. “I mean watch the sunset. That’s what makes you so amazing, Trevor. Most guys would think this was so stupid. But I love it.”

  “Couple of times when I was hanging with my friends—we call ourselves ‘the posse’—anyway, we’d come and watch the sun go down,” Trevor said.

  It was growing cool as the sun vanished into the horizon in a splash of scarlet. Vanessa spoke. “Trevor, my dad used to say if a sunset happened like every twenty years, thousands of people would gather to watch the spectacle. But since it happens every day, we take it for granted.”

  “Your dad must be a deep guy,” Trevor remarked.

  “Yeah,” Vanessa agreed. “When I was a little girl, I thought he was the greatest man who ever lived. But then I got older and he changed.” She paused and looked a little forlorn. “Or maybe I changed.”

  “He was too strict, huh, Vanessa?” Trevor asked with understanding.

  “Oh man, was he ever! I felt like he had a leash on me,” Vanessa said.

  “I hear you,” Trevor said. “My ma’s like that.” He collected his thoughts before going on.

  “Listen, Vanessa,” he started, “right now my ma doesn’t know that you and I are friends, but she
knows about you being a dropout and stuff. So this girl at school, one of my friends, Sami Archer, she’s worked something out. Her mom is taking my ma to the Ice House for frozen yogurt on Wednesday. Sami’s mom is a big, pretty lady. My ma is really tall. You gotta wait on them and be extra nice to them. Sami’s mom, she’s gonna say you’re a nice hardworking girl, and she’s gonna ask you if you’re going for your GED. You gotta play along, say you’re sorry you quit Tubman and stuff, and you’re studying for your GED. Then maybe my mom will feel better about you and me being together, you know?”

  “Okay Trevor, I’ll do my best,” Vanessa agreed.

  “See,” Trevor continued, “Ma thinks kids who drop out of school are really bad, and she wouldn’t want me going around with a girl like that. But once she meets you and sees how sweet you are, and how you’re going for your GED and stuff, she might soften up. I hate having to keep our friendship secret from my ma, Vanessa. I love my ma, and she’s done a lot for me and my brothers. So I like to be up front with her.”

  “I’ll be as sweet as pie, Trevor,” Vanessa told him.

  Trevor didn’t want to spoil the beautiful afternoon by bringing up the story of Vanessa and Mr. Collier, but it nagged at him. It lurked in the back of his mind like something dark and scary, and he wanted to know the truth.

  “Vanessa,” he said with some hesitation, “I hate to talk about this, but some of the kids at school remember you at Tubman and they say things, stuff I can’t believe.”

  “Uh-oh!” Vanessa said with mock horror. “I was such an awful little jerk back then.”

  “The thing they’re talking about is this teacher, Mr. Collier,” he went on. “I remember having him for history, but you weren’t in that class. But they tell me something about you being mixed up in him being fired or something.”

  A very sad look came to Vanessa’s face. Trevor expected she was going to tell him that Mr. Collier seemed nice but that he had a dark side, that he said inappropriate things to pretty girls. He did those things when he was alone with them. Trevor was ready to believe her.