Until You Loved Me (Seven Brides, Seven Brothers Book 3)

by Calhoune, Belle

  “You're coming with me?” he asked, feeling a little dazed by the turn of events. Was this really and truly happening? Was Gabrielle here by his side, ready and willing to take this journey with him?

  She reached for his hand and squeezed it. “Yes, I am. If you still want me. The idea of it makes my stomach clench up and I'm feeling a little anxious, but I want to go back home with you by my side. I finally mustered the courage to do this.”

  He lowered his head and placed a resounding kiss on her lips. “Of course I still want you. I was sitting here wondering how I was going to make it through the next few days without seeing your face. I've been kicking myself for pushing too hard.”

  “Not too hard. Just right, Remy. I'm so sorry for the way I acted, for the things I said to you.” Her eyes radiated regret. “I was scared. And I lashed out at you because of it. It was so very wrong of me.”

  “That's in the past. Honestly, I'm just so thankful that you're here.” He brushed a light kiss against her forehead, cupping her head with both of his hands.

  He turned toward his brothers, his throat clenching tightly at the sight of them standing there with over-sized grins on their faces. Especially Nick, whose presence here today spoke volumes about his loyalty and heart. They held up their hands in greeting. In return, he placed his hand over his heart in a gesture of love and gratitude. Getting Gabrielle to the airport in time to make their flight meant the world to him. The love he felt for his brothers at this moment was overwhelming.

  As he led Gabrielle over to the check in desk, his mind scrambled to figure out a way to put in motion part two of his elaborate plan. He hoped he'd still be able to pull it off on short notice.

  *

  Finally, after nine long years, she was home. The moment they landed at Louis Armstrong International airport she'd felt her arms tingling with anticipation. There was something floating in the air, some elusive essence that was both mysterious and familiar. Although lately she'd begun to feel as if Breeze Point might be home, there was no doubt that New Orleans flowed in her very veins. She could feel its pulsing rhythms thrumming through her body.

  As soon as they made it to the luggage carousel, a man dressed in a suit was holding a sign with Remy's name on it. Once they identified themselves, he whisked them away to an air conditioned limousine. She felt like a VIP. Considering the brutal heat and humidity, Gabrielle appreciated the five star treatment.

  Remy had arranged for them to stay at a hotel on Bourbon street called The Regency. As soon as they walked in, Gabrielle felt like a kid in a candy store. Everything was gold and ornate. The hotel was stunningly beautiful, with a stunning archway by the entrance and staff dressed in formal attire—black coats with gold buttons—as they greeted them at the door and took their bags. Their rooms each had a balcony that looked out onto Bourbon Street and the restaurants, shops and people that brought New Orleans to life. The festive, vibrant atmosphere energized her, as did the jazzy beats of musicians drifting towards her window. Remy was staying in the room right next door. Each room had a balcony, with only a small divide separating her balcony from Remy's.

  “Let's take a walk and get you reacquainted with the city,” Remy suggested, his smile as wide as she'd ever seen it. He was glowing with happiness. She hoped his joy had a little something to do with her being here in New Orleans with him. By joining him on this trip she'd taken a huge leap of faith. She'd put aside her doubts and fears and traumatic memories, choosing instead to focus on the future rather than the past. Part of her felt it was well worth it just to see Remy so over the moon delighted.

  Walking down Bourbon Street with Remy by her side was a revelation. For so long she'd allowed the sad memories of New Orleans to outweigh the happy ones. Being here brought back a whirlwind of emotions, most of them joyful. Treasured memories washed over her like an unrelenting tide. She'd stashed them away like old relics in a trunk, pushing them out of her mind as if they had never existed. How wrong she'd been to do that! It was like erasing the past and snuffing out those moments. A stroll with her grandfather down Bourbon Street. A visit to Aunt Sally's praline shop on Decatur Street. If she closed her eyes she could almost taste the sweet confection on her tongue.

  “How does it feel to be back here? Are you okay?” The look of concern etched on Remy's handsome features made her want to reach up and plant a kiss on his lips.

  “I'm fine. Better than fine, actually. I feel...pretty wonderful.” Acting on impulsive she reached up on her tippy toes and placed a lingering kiss on Remy's lips.

  “Tell me what I did to deserve that so I can do it again,” Remy teased as they broke apart. His brown eyes glinted tones of copper.

  Gabrielle laughed. “What haven't you done? Seriously. For so long I allowed my memories of my grandparents and uncle Bo to be sad, painful ones. What you said to me about honoring the people we've lost...I've failed at it. My uncle Bo used to take me for shaved ice right there at that shop.” She pointed in the direction of an ice cream shop with a festive red awning. “He'd pick me up from dance class every Saturday and take me there for a treat. It was our weekly date.”

  She looked up at Remy. Although she could feel the tears gathering in her eyes, these weren't distraught tears. They were tears of remembrance. And gratitude. And homage. “I want to celebrate those things, not bury them.”

  Remy reached down and wiped away a stray tear on her cheek. “You've come a long way, chere. I'm so very proud of you. I have something to tell you.”

  “What is it, Remy? Tell me. You look so serious.”

  “I've been in contact with your family.”

  “What? Why would you do that?” Instinctively she went on the defensive. She reminded herself to take it easy, considering how wrong she'd been a few days ago to allow her emotions to override her common sense.

  “Chere, I wanted to do something special for you. And the part of me that's impulsive and headstrong made contact with them before I even asked you to come to New Orleans. I wanted everything lined up so that it would be the surprise of a lifetime. I told them a few days ago you weren't coming, but this morning when you showed up at the airport I reached out to them again. Everything is all set.”

  Confusion muddled her thought process. “What are you talking about? What did you do?”

  “Your family is flying in tomorrow to see you. Your mother and Tony. Your father couldn't make it.”

  “Couldn't? Or didn't want to?” She couldn't hold back her sharp retort. It hurt to know her father didn't want to be here in New Orleans with her.

  Remy bowed his head. His voice softened as he said, “He told me he couldn't deal with coming back here. He said he hoped someday he'd be able to. I could hear the regret in his voice, Gabrielle.”

  Disappointment threatened to choke her. It would have been so nice to have her entire family back in New Orleans with her, standing by her side. Still, after all this time, a gulf as wide as the Mississippi stood between her father and the rest of the family. Half the time he wasn't even in contact with everyone. He was living in New York city where he'd opened up a new barbershop a few years ago. She'd always made excuses for him, even when he forgot her birthday or bailed on plans to meet up with her. Even when he'd been presented with an opportunity to reunite with them, he hadn't been able to commit to it. He'd been too mired in the past, trapped by guilt and hopelessness. It made her want to break down and cry.

  She pressed her eyes closed and took a deep breath. Be thankful for all your blessings. Be grateful for what Remy has done for you and your family. Live in this moment! Let joy take over and banish all the fear and disappointments. Don't dwell on what you don't have.

  Quickly bridging the gap between them, she reached out and wrapped her arms around Remy so tightly she feared he might snap in two. The feelings bubbling up inside her threatened to choke her.

  She was so very blessed. He'd arranged this wonderful gift for her—something she still couldn't even wrap her head around—out of th
e goodness of his heart. She'd done nothing in this world to deserve such a blessing, but Remy had offered it all to her on a silver platter. No strings attached. What she was feeling for Remy in this very moment frightened her. It was so strong and sure. It had a life of its own. She was powerless against it. The feelings were wrapped around her heart so tightly she couldn't even breathe properly.

  She loved him. She loved Remy Donahue with all her heart and soul. And with that knowledge came clarity. In order to claim this love she had to be strong. She had to face the ghosts of the past and put a lid on her grief and fear. It was holding her back. She had to get the closure she'd been running from for what seemed like a lifetime.

  Courage. If it led her to a future with the man she loved and could help heal her family, she'd try with all her might to be the bravest person in the world.

  *

  So far, so good, Remy thought as his eyes skimmed over Gabrielle. She was handling everything so beautifully he was beginning to wonder if she would have a delayed reaction to being back in New Orleans. Perhaps she was just keeping a tight lid on everything so she wouldn't disappoint him. The news about her family arriving tomorrow seemed to make her happy, although he sensed her disappointment about her father not being able to join them.

  Jean Turner was a complex man. His conversation with Gabrielle's father had revealed a man who was still struggling to rebuild his life and to deal with his own feelings of guilt about his lost loved ones. He clearly loved his daughter. He just didn't know how to rebuild their fractured relationship. According to Jean things had fallen apart in the years after the hurricane with the loss of his business directly affecting their financial status. For a while they'd been homeless, something that made him shudder just thinking about. It killed him to think of Gabrielle and her family without a roof over their heads. When they'd finally gotten back on their feet, the marriage between Florence and Jean was in tatters. Florence took Gabrielle to Maryland so they could live with her sister while Jean moved to New York with Tony to set up a new business. Add in family dynamics, two young adults searching for independence, post traumatic stress disorder and strained finances.....it was a powder keg that led to an explosive situation. Everything had fallen apart.

  But tomorrow, the links of a broken chain would be reconnected.

  Tonight, their only night alone before Gabrielle's family flew into town, was going to be an unforgettable experience. In his mind New Orleans was a romantic city, full of mystery and culture, music and moonlight. He wanted to revel in it, to show Gabrielle the beauty and glory of New Orleans as she'd never before seen it. Despite everything, it was still standing. Majestic, beautiful and full of life.

  When it was time for dinner, Remy whisked Gabrielle away by limousine to a surprise destination. He'd made sure earlier to tell her to wear evening wear. She hadn't disappointed him! She was wearing a black, shimmery cocktail dress that accentuated her curvy shape. Despite her grilling him during the ride, he wouldn't budge an inch on any of the details of their evening. When they pulled up to the wharf, he led her towards the dock. She let out a gasp as she spotted the steamboat. The name was etched in big bold letters on the side of the boat. The River Queen.

  She raised her hand to her throat. “Remy! I can't believe we're here. The River Queen!”

  He took her hand in his as they walked up the gangplank. “Let's go on board and see what awaits us.”

  The sounds of a lively jazz band filled the air as soon as they stepped on board. The interior of the boat was straight out of the Victorian era—red velvet tapestries and cushions, brass railings, wooden parquet floors and plush seating. Soft lights lent an intimate ambiance to the dining area. It was as if they'd stepped into a bygone era. A waiter quickly seated them at a table for two and began pouring champagne in their flutes. The menu was strictly New Orleans cuisine. Cornbread. Andouille sausage. Jambalaya. Red beans and rice. Crawfish etouffee. Bananas Foster for dessert. Between courses Remy led Gabrielle on to the dance floor where they slow danced to the soulful rhythms of the band. Holding Gabrielle in his arms as the River Queen guided them down the river was proving to be the most romantic event of his entire life. He wasn't sure if anything could ever compete with this epic moment in time.

  After dinner they went outside to the deck to watch the boat glide down the Mississippi. A gentle river breeze blew over them while a pearly white moon hung low in the sky, creating the perfect atmosphere. Gabrielle leaned over the railing and threw her hands up in celebration. She looked like a little kid, one who had no fear or inhibitions. He'd never seen her so free, without a care in the world. And he loved seeing her this way.

  His eyes locked with hers. “You're beautiful. I hope you know that.”

  “Thank you. You're beautiful too, Remy. In every way possible.”

  She leaned in to him, tilting her head up so that he had full access to her mouth. Remy leaned down and placed his lips over hers in a sweeping, romantic kiss. He ran his fingers through her silky hair and whispered her name. As the kiss deepened they were both swept away to a place where nothing existed but the two of them. As they broke apart he rained down feather light kisses all over her face.

  “Remy,” she murmured his name. As the kiss ended he gathered her against his chest, enjoying the sound of her heart beating against him. Its steady beat reassured him that he hadn't dreamed up this wonderful evening. Every minute of it was real.

  “Kissing in the moonlight. Now I can check that off my bucket list,” Gabrielle said with a sigh. “Bucket list?”

  She wrinkled her nose. “Don't you have one? It's a list of all the things I want to do in my life before I leave this world.”

  “I don't have one, but I want to do every single thing on that list with you.” He laced his hands with hers as they stood on the deck in the moonlight, staring into each other's eyes. There was something pulsing in the air between them. It was palpable.

  “I'd like that, Remy,” she whispered. “I'd like that very much.”

  For the rest of the river cruise they stayed out on deck, watching the water rush by them as they basked in the glow of a magical, New Orleans' evening. It was hard to imagine, he thought, any evening coming even close to being as perfect as this one.

  *

  That night, Gabrielle tossed and turned for what felt like hours. She'd called her mother when they'd returned to the Regency after their romantic river boat cruise. Although both were excited about seeing each other tomorrow, she knew her mother harbored the same fear and anxieties as she did. What would it be like to reunite here in New Orleans? Would the tragic memories resurface? Or would joy and happiness stamp out every other emotion?

  Feeling restless, she'd gotten out of bed, opened up the French doors and walked out onto her balcony. The moment the slight summer breeze hit her face she felt better. New Orleans hadn't quite gone to sleep yet, she realized. She had a bird's eye view of the activity on Bourbon Street—lovers holding hands, a weary musician heading home with his trumpet in hand, a woman in a pink dress walking her dog. There was such life here. It wasn't all doom and gloom. There was joy and laughter and romance. All this time she'd been turning her back on a place that was as much a part of her as the air she breathed. Never again, she vowed.

  “What's wrong, chere? Why aren't you asleep?” Remy's low, melodic voice came out of the darkness. He was standing on his balcony dressed in a short sleeved T shirt and a pair of sweat pants

  She self consciously dragged her hand through her hair, knowing it must look like bed head. “I didn't mean to wake you. I couldn't get to sleep. I've been tossing and turning for the last hour straight.”

  “May I?” Remy asked, pointing to the barrier separating their balconies. She nodded, knowing she needed some reassurance about tomorrow. Remy's mere presence out here had already lifted her spirits and infused her with a healthy dose of comfort. With all the agility of a hurdler, Remy hopped over the divide, landing gracefully on her balcony.

 
“What's on your mind, chere? Is something troubling you?”

  She wrapped her hands around her middle. “Nothing. Everything,” she said with a shaky laugh. “I'm just afraid of all the pain that might rise to the surface again. Having my family here in New Orleans will be great, but it also serves as a reminder of everything from the past. We haven't done so well over the last few years when it comes to facing up to things.”

  “What do you think happens when you replace fear with faith?”

  The question immediately made her nervous. She wasn't the right person to ask. She'd given up on her faith years ago. Would Remy still want her in his life if he realized how far she'd strayed from her faith?

  Remy took her hand and led her to the oversized love seat on the balcony. He sat down and tugged lightly on her arm so she would sit beside him. She turned toward him, struggling to find something to say that would explain where she was coming from. As she met his gaze she instantly saw reassurance and acceptance radiating from his eyes. “This isn't a test, Gabrielle. I won't be grading you based on your answer. Nor would I ever judge you.”

  “I'm not sure I can answer that question Remy. I haven't been very successful at it lately. When all the bad things starting piling up...I lost my bearings and my beliefs.” Shame trickled through her at the admission. She wished her answer was one that might allow her to hold her head up high and look him straight in the eye, rather than one that made her feel shameful.

  “I don't think you're as lost as it may seem. It took faith to come to New Orleans. And it took faith to trust me with all the secrets you've been holding so close to the vest for all these years. You have no idea how much I admire you for persevering and being such a strong, open-hearted woman. You have every reason to think that life's not fair and that the deck has been stacked against you, but each and every time life knocks you down, you get up. You keep on fighting. Call me crazy, but I think that's faith...and hope for a brighter tomorrow.”