The Bohemians

by Sean Michael

  “You’ll support... whatever we... Jesus, what am I cramping your orgy style or something?” Quincy pulled away from Topaz. “So I’m special, am I? Or just one of how many?”

  “You are special! I don’t sleep around! I never have! Never.” Topaz’s eyes filled with tears, their Sunshine’s hurt as evident as his joy always was. “I’ve been with Ku and Daisy for years while I looked for you.”

  Stephan whimpered, wanting to stop this, to take it back and not have brought it up.

  “And you’re going to keep being with them, aren’t you? Aren’t I enough? You told me...” Quincy swallowed his words looking miserable. The man stood. “I’m sorry. I think I’ve made a mistake.”

  “Please.” The single word was shattered, Topaz shrinking in his chair.

  “I have to go,” said Quincy, voice rough, eyes bright with tears.

  Or maybe that was just the tears in his own eyes. Stephan could not have held back from going to their Sunshine for anything and he didn’t even try, moving around the table to take Topaz in his arms.

  Leo stood, voice rough. “Please, Quincy. Stay. He loves you. Please just stay and we’ll talk. Or if that won’t work, then you and Topaz talk.”

  “No, I think I’ve heard enough talk, thank you very much. I think I’m just going to go now. God, I can’t believe I was such an idiot.”

  Stephan rocked Topaz, tears slipping down his cheeks as he shared his friend’s pain. He didn’t watch as Quincy left.

  Eventually Topaz’s tears dried and their Sunshine pulled away, hollow-eyed and empty. “I’m going to bed, lovelies. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

  “Oh, Sunshine, lover, are you sure? You don’t have to be alone.” He looked up to Leo, begging his lover for help, wanting Leo to fix it.

  “Come to our bed, pretty lover.” Leo bent down and lifted Topaz up, cradling their Sunshine in huge arms. “You can hide with us and not from us.”

  Topaz sobbed and nodded, curling into Leo’s chest. “Bring the berries, lover, and the aspirin, he’ll need it.”Stephan nodded, wiping at his cheeks, though new tears took the place of old ones. He gathered the berries and the aspirin and the twelve-grain bread that Topaz liked so much along with the orange juice and then followed after them.

  He was so mad at himself. Why had he insisted on bringing it up? It was all his fault their Sunshine was hurting so badly.

  “Stop it, Stephan.” Leo’s voice was low, sure. “Better now than later. You know our Topaz. It would have come up. He shares his heart, he always has. Come and I’ll hold you. Hold you both.”

  Stephan set his burdens down on the side table and crawled onto the king sized bed he shared with his Leo, curling up against his lover’s broad chest, reaching out to pet Topaz.

  Topaz moved into his arms. “I’m a fool, aren’t I, Daisy?”

  “Oh, no, Sunshine, not a fool, never a fool.” He stroked Topaz’ cheek. “A dreamer, yeah?”

  “A dreamer.” Miserable eyes met his. “I dreamed of him.”

  “Maybe Quincy wasn’t the one.”

  “No, Daisy. Maybe Quincy doesn’t want me, but he’s the one.”

  “Oh, Sunshine, he wants you, that’s his problem.” Stephan looked up at his lover. “Tell him, Leo.”

  Leo’s melted chocolate eyes met Topaz’s. “Little bit, he wants you. He wants you to himself.”

  “To himself?” Topaz shook his head. “Why?”

  “Because... Because he doesn’t want to share.”

  “He isn’t like us, Sunshine. He doesn’t understand how love shared is love increased. So many people in this world don’t.” He leaned forward, kissing Topaz gently. “Maybe he just needs some time.”

  “Maybe. My head hurts. I love you.” Topaz closed his eyes, slumping against Leo. “I’m sorry.”

  His Leo stroked Topaz’s hair. “So are we, little bit. It’s going to be okay. We’re here. We’re right here.”

  “Anything you want, lover.” Stephan pressed another kiss on Topaz. “Anything, you know that.”

  Topaz nodded. “I know. I do.”

  Leo closed his eyes, relaxing against the pillows. “Good.”

  Stephan nuzzled against his Leo, stroking Topaz’s back, wishing he could make Quincy be different, could make him love the way Topaz needed to be loved.

  Chapter Ten

  Topaz walked toward the grocery from the Loft, list in hand. Bread, milk, mushrooms.

  Chocolate.

  Hazelnuts.

  His eyes caught the ice cream store stand.

  No ice cream.

  His eyes filled with tears. Three weeks. Three weeks and it still ached.

  Someone bumped into him, knocking his list from his hand.

  “Sorry!” Warm hands steadied him and then moved quickly away. “Topaz?”

  He met Quincy’s eyes quickly and nodded, bending to fetch his list. “Hello, Gem... Quincy. How are you?” He couldn’t meet those pretty eyes again, not without crying.”I miss you.” Quincy’s voice was husky.

  Topaz nodded, swallowing hard. “I miss you, too. I can’t stop dreaming about you.”

  Quincy’s hand touched his arm again and then slid away. “I want... can we go somewhere and talk?”

  “Okay. Sure. Uh... the coffeehouse?” He folded his note and stuck it away. “It’s quiet.” Oh, God. Oh. Oh.

  “All right.” Quincy’s hand came back, stroking his arm before taking his elbow and guiding him down the street.Topaz followed quietly. Leo and Stephan had been so good to him, making sure he didn’t hermit away in his nest. Feeding him. Loving him. Trying to ease the pain.

  Never once calling him a fool.

  They made their way to the coffeehouse in silence, though Topaz could feel the weight of those eyes on him for most of the trip.

  They ordered a latte and a green tea, taking their drinks to an isolated table in the corner, Topaz settling in the corner. He almost laughed -- the second time they’d been together over a restaurant table and they’d fallen in love and broken up between.

  “How... how are you doing?” Quincy asked after the silence had stretched out between them.

  “I hurt. I dream about you. I work a lot.” Topaz sipped his tea, letting it warm him inside. “How about you?””I’ve been dumped more times than I can count, but nothing’s ever hurt like this.”

  “I didn’t dump you, Quincy. I asked you to stay. I wanted you to stay.” He put the cup down, willing his fingers not to shake.

  “I know... I... I just thought I love you meant I love you, not you and Leo and Stephan and... I guess it just means more to me than sweet words.”

  Topaz’s heart clenched, breaking quietly. “It meant everything to me.”

  “Then I don’t understand.”

  “What don’t you understand, Gemini?” He shrugged. “I am in love with you. You... you’re like a missing part of me, like my partner. Ku and Daisy are my lovers, but they’re soul mates to each other, they’re a single unit. I... I don’t understand how loving them and being in love with you is wrong.”

  “What about loyalty, fidelity?”

  “I am loyal. I don’t offer my body, my heart easily.” Topaz could feel the tears gathering, feel them hot on his lower lashes. “I have been with Stephan and Leo for years and have only had two other lovers, both of whom are my friends, who care for me. Isn’t that loyal?”

  “I don’t know. Yes? I don’t know. Oh God, Topaz, please don’t cry. I... fuck. You aren’t like anyone I’ve ever known.” Quincy’s voice was thick with emotion, mostly pain.

  He blinked hard, wiping his eyes. “I’m sorry.” Topaz didn’t know what he was apologizing for -- the tears, the pain, the differences. All he knew was that he was sorry.”Me too.” Quincy’s hand slid over his, warm and gentle. “I want to see you again.”

  “Do you? Really?” He turned his hand over, holding on.

  “I do,” whispered Quincy. “It hurts so bad, being away from you -- more than anything, even Tommy and he was... we liv
ed together for almost two years. I can’t say I understand or am happy about you and... and them, but that doesn’t hurt near as much as not being with you does.””It doesn’t have to be me and them. If you decide to, it can be us and them.” He reached out, stroked Quincy’s cheek. “I wouldn’t leave your bed to go to them, love. It’s not like that.”

  “Us?” Quincy nuzzled into his touch, surprise and shock warring with need in those beautiful eyes.

  “You didn’t think for a minute that they wouldn’t want you!” Topaz kept touching, soothing his pain. “It’s about pleasure, love. I wouldn’t hurt you by not including you. I would never do that.”

  “It’s very... different from what I’m used to, Topaz. I don’t know... I don’t know if I could do that.”

  Topaz nodded. “No one has to do anything they don’t want to. I just miss you.”

  Quincy squeezed his hand. “Come home with me?””Yes.” He nodded, tears threatening again. “Please. Please, Gemini.”

  Quincy’s smile was brilliant. “Now? Come with me now?”

  Another nod and he stood, grocery list forgotten. “Yes. Now.”

  Quincy stood too, taking his hand again and leading him from the coffeehouse. “I’m just a few blocks from here, in the opposite direction from your place.”

  “Okay. I’d like to see it.” He straightened his clothes -- black on gray, for mourning -- and took a step back so Quincy could lead the way.

  Quincy was quiet on the short walk through to the residential quarter of downtown. His Gemini lived in one of the new apartment buildings that were beginning to pop up all over the area. They seemed so empty, so soulless, those buildings. Still, he didn’t say so. There was no reason to make things bad. Again.

  “I’m on the ninth floor. It isn’t very big, but it’s got a nice view and... well, there hasn’t been much reason to have more than a couch and a bed, you know?”

  “Oh, up is good.” He offered Quincy a quiet grin. “I’m sort of a packrat. Well, you’ve seen.”

  “It suits you,” Quincy told him as they waited for the elevator. “All jumbled but you know where everything is, too.”

  “Yeah. Wrapped in a skein but not tangled, that’s me.” Well, not tangled until three weeks ago, anyway.

  Quincy chuckled. “Maybe I can commission you to make me a piece. My bedroom needs... something.”

  “I’d love to make you a hanging.” He forced himself to smile, but the whole thing felt so artificial, so false. His lover -- his ex-lover -- talking about paying him to make something he’d more than willingly give.

  The elevator stopped and Quincy led him down the hall to the last door on the right. It was quickly unlocked and Quincy led him in, looking hesitant. “Here we go. It’s kind of plain.”

  It was a little plain, but it smelled good, smelled like Quincy, made him smile. “It’s good, Gemini.”

  “I’m just not here a whole lot. Working mostly. Or out at the clubs. The park sometimes.” Quincy gave a little laugh. “Okay, not so much the park, but it sounds better than clubbing, doesn’t it? Oh, and you have to see the view.”Quincy took his hand again and led him out the large French windows to the balcony.

  The whole town was spread out before him, lights and cars and houses and everything. “Oh... Oh, how pretty!””Yeah, it is.” Quincy hesitated a moment and then slid an arm around his waist and tilted his head up. His lips were covered, his Gemini groaning as their mouths met.Topaz whimpered, lips parting, begging for that sweet-tart flavor that he had fought to forget. Quincy devoured his mouth like a man starving, pulling him close to the long body. Strawberries. He sobbed, arms reaching up and holding on tight, lips fastening around Gemini’s tongue and sucking. Yes. Yes, please.

  Quincy’s hands slid onto his ass, cupping his buttocks and pulling him in tighter. He could feel the heat of Gemini’s need, even through their clothes. His own need flared, love sweet and sharp and painful and so real.

  So real.

  “Oh God. Come to my bed, Topaz, please.”

  “Yes.” The word was rough and he stumbled as they moved. “Gemini. I’ve ached for you.”

  Quincy’s arm around him kept him from falling. “I know. I have too. I’m sorry -- I’m so sorry.”

  Stopping, Quincy took his mouth again, the kiss long and filled with need.

  He met it with equal heat, hands unfastening clothes and finding skin. “Please love me.”

  Topaz had never meant anything so much. Not ever.”I do. I will.”

  Quincy pulled him across the apartment into the bedroom, helping him with clothes. At last they fell into the bed together, naked and writhing.

  He ended up straddling Quincy’s waist, taking one hard, wet kiss after another, toes curled, body on fire. Quincy’s cock slid along his crease, teasing and taunting, so tempting.

  “Oh, God, I thought I’d imagined this,” Quincy whimpered, hands hot and hard on his back.

  “No. I’m real. We’re real, love.” Topaz arched up into the touch, moaning low. “Real.”

  “Real. Yeah. I can see that now. I can feel it. Oh, Topaz, I feel you.”

  “Need you. Please. Need you to take me.” He licked at Quincy’s lips, ass rocking and rubbing against that long prick.

  Quincy whimpered, lips trying to catch his tongue. His Gemini reached over to the side-table, fumbling. “I think I have... shit, I know I have lube at least.”

  “I don’t have one on me. I don’t carry them.” He licked at the corner of Quincy’s mouth, moaning.

  “Fuck.” Quincy groaned and shuddered, still poking around in the drawer. “Here, lube. No condoms. There might be one in the bathroom. Or my leather pants pocket.”

  “Leather pants?” He laughed, tickled, even as his balls ached. He was clean, but he didn’t think Quincy would believe him. “I’d love to see that.”

  “Not now.” Quincy told him, quite seriously. Then his Gemini pushed him gently to the side and went to rummage in the closet, moaning and whimpering. “Shit, I have to have one here somewhere...”

  Topaz watched for a second and then got up and turned Quincy, kneeling before the long body and taking him in and sucking hard.

  “Oh fuck!” Quincy whimpered, hands dropping to his hair, hips pushing with small pulses. “Oh, Topaz... Oh!”He closed his eyes, head bobbing, hands on his Gemini’s hips and encouraging them to rock, to move.

  Quincy made a soft sound and started moving, letting his hands guide the slide of the long cock in and out of his mouth. “Topaz.” His name was whispered, spoken over and over again.

  Topaz focused on what he was doing. He’d never made love with someone thinking it might be the last time ever. It made everything bigger, more important.

  “Oh, Topaz!” Quincy shouted his name, hips jerking hard as heat shot down his throat.

  One tear slid down his cheek as he swallowed his Gemini all the way down, bittersweet pleasure filling him. He did love this man, he did.

  Quincy slid down, bringing their mouths together in a far less urgent kiss.

  “Thank you,” murmured his Gemini. One hand slid between them, wrapping around his prick and pumping while the other grabbed his ass, fingers trailing along his crease. Whimpering, Topaz moved, hips rocking in between those touches, breath caught in his chest.

  “I love you, Topaz,” Quincy murmured, sucking his bottom lip in between his Gemini’s lips.

  “Tell me again, please.”

  “I love you. I love you more than I’ve ever loved anyone.”

  “I love you, Gemini. I do. All of me.” Topaz shivered, gasping into Quincy’s lips. “Love you.”

  “Oh, Topaz.” Quincy’s lips found his again, kissing him hard as his Gemini’s hands worked to make him come.He shorted out, let himself go -- all need and ache and want all rolled up together. When he came, it felt a little like falling into the sun.

  Quincy whimpered and gathered him close, sitting on the floor with him in his Gemini’s lap. Quincy was rocking him, hummi
ng something soft and gentle. Topaz rested, refusing to think, just feeling and listening to that beating heart.

  Quincy’s arms were like bands around him. “I don’t think I can let you go again, Topaz. I don’t care who else you fuck, I need you and I’m not letting you go.”

  “I don’t...” He sighed and looked up. “Quincy, I don’t fuck around. I don’t.”

  “But you...” Quincy shook his head. “I’m sorry. It doesn’t matter, I just want to be with you.”

  It did matter. A lot. But he didn’t know what to say or what to do, so he leaned in. “I want to be with you, too.”Ku and Daisy would help him make Gemini understand. They would.

  Quincy gave him a happy little smile. “It’s going to be okay. We’re going to be okay.”

  “I... what now? I mean... Not forever now, just right now?”

  “Are you hungry? We could order in.” Quincy chuckled. “I’ve got to admit that I don’t want to let you out of my arms just yet.”

  “I am hungry. I was going to the store for peanut butter and stuff when I bumped into you.” He took a soft kiss. “Chinese?”

  “Oh, we could feed each other.” Quincy laughed, the sound light and happy. “And then take a shower after -- I get messy enough feeding myself with chopsticks.”

  Topaz giggled, nodding. “Or a bath. I’ll scrub your back.”

  “I hope that’s not all you’ll scrub.” Quincy gave him a hard kiss. “God, you make me happy.”

  “Do I? I want to. I want to, Gemini.” He grabbed Quincy’s hand, kissing the palm. “I do.”

  “You do,” Quincy murmured, blue eyes gazing down at him. “You do, sweet love.”

  “We need to find a drug store that delivers too, Gemini.”

  Quincy’s cheeks flushed, but Topaz didn’t think it was from embarrassment. “That we do, Topaz, that we do.”He laughed, light and free, pushing up into Quincy’s arms for another kiss and another. “Love you!”

  Quincy’s reply hummed against his tongue, filling him with the words and the emotion.