Wonderlust (Steel Roses #1)

by B. L. Wilde

  “I did wonder.”

  “Sorry to worry you, Gina.”

  “It’s okay. I’m just glad you’re staying. I’ll see you in New York next week. Are you still going to Macon?”

  “Yes, but we’re not staying. We’ll fly to New York from there.” Alex had a meeting with Rock Records Headquarters immediately following his private gig in Macon. He’d told me in confidence that he expected the meeting would be about a new album.

  “Good. See you then.” With that, she hung up. I fell asleep not long after the call. I had an early flight in the morning, so it would do me good.

  “You’re coming back with me?” Alex’s worried eyes met with mine as Shane took my luggage from me.

  “It looks that way,” I muttered, moving away from him.

  “Straight Lace, please. I’m sorry about yesterday,” he called after me. “Don’t be like this.”

  “I’m surprised you didn’t tell her about the nickname you have for me, too.”

  He followed me into the back of the limo. “I didn’t tell her anything!”

  “Yet she knows I haven’t had sex with you. Isn’t that strange?” He winced, looking away from me. “I don’t know what hurts more, the fact that you’re lying or the fact you take pleasure in mocking me in front of your bimbos!”

  “It wasn’t like that.” Obviously stressed, he ruffled his hair before pinching the bridge of his nose with his fingers. “I may have said something to a few women Maddison knew the first week you arrived, but I didn’t mean any harm.”

  “Well, you hurt me. I’m your PA, Alex. You had no right discussing that shit with anyone!”

  “You’re right. I’m sorry. It won’t happen again.”

  “It better not. Otherwise, I will leave!”

  “Does this mean we’re not friends anymore?” he pouted. How could I resist that pout?

  “No, we’re still friends. That doesn’t mean you’re not a fucking asshole!”

  “I know,” he sighed as fans engulfed the limo. London clearly didn’t want Alex to leave. The blackout glass gave us privacy, though. All you could hear were screams and the thud of women banging on the windows. The hysteria around him never faded after Steel Roses split. Instead, all the focus become directed toward him.

  “Doesn’t this scare you?”

  “No,” he chuckled as a fan pressed her bare breasts against the window.

  “Do these women have no morals?”

  “They're just trying to get my attention. You have to admit, that was a great pair of tits.”

  “I wasn’t looking that closely,” I sulked.

  “Shane will get us through safely, don’t worry,” he laughed.

  Despite the crowds, we made it to the airport in plenty of time for the flight. The comfortable first class seats meant I slept most of the way after we’d been served breakfast. The air stewards were all swooning over Alex, so he was busy anyway.

  “Hear me out!” I woke up to Diego’s raised voice. “Don’t you think it’s time?”

  “All that fucking shit is done! He should have moved the fuck on from it. I have!” Alex was seriously pissed about something.

  “You never talked about any of it. You all just walked away.”

  “I had no fucking choice. You know that!” Crap, were they arguing about the Steel Roses split? “Why are you bringing all this shit up again? Have you seen him?”

  “Mason just said…”

  “You have been seeing them behind my fucking back! What, are you some fucking spy, going back and telling Matt everything?”

  “Oh, shut the fuck up before I bitch slap you for overreacting.” I held in a snigger. Diego could handle Alex as well as I could. “I saw Mason at a club last month and he said that Matt had mentioned a reunion tour, but that you and he would have to talk it all out before it happened.”

  “It’s not fucking happening. I don’t owe those fuckers anything! They can do a tour, but I won’t be part of it.”

  “That’s not going to work, is it? You’re the damn front man.”

  “Fucking drop it, Diego.” Alex’s tone was laced with pure hatred, and it made me wonder what actually happened to make the band split over ten years ago.

  “You don’t have to be so ambitchous,” Diego glared, throwing his hair over his shoulders, annoyed. That made me snort before I could stop myself. Putting my hands over my mouth, I tried to pretend to be asleep, but failed.

  “Eavesdropping on a conversation, huh? There is usually a punishment for that,” Alex tutted, taking the seat opposite me.

  “I only heard the last part. I’m sorry, but it was funny.” I grinned over a Diego. “Ambitchous?”

  “It’s when you act like a bigger bitch than usual,” he winked. I loved it! “Alex is one most days.”

  “Shut up, fucker. You overstepped the mark.”

  “Whatever.” Diego brushed him off, putting his headphones on.

  “I hate that diva sometimes.” Alex sighed, playing with his armrest.

  “No you don’t. He’s your oldest friend. You’d be lost without him, and you know it.” Stroking the stubble on his chin, he finally nodded.

  “I was thinking, I want to move you into Milly’s old suite when we get back. I was being a jerk by giving you that tiny bedroom in the first place.” Oh, wow!

  “Umm… I really don’t mind the room you gave me, Alex.”

  “I know you don’t, but I want to make up for the whole Maddison issue. The only problem is that the suite is on the same floor as my room. Milly and I kind of took over the entire top floor. No one else really goes up there—just the cleaners once a week—so you’ll have more privacy. Plus, it’s really spacious.”

  “Oh, um…” I’d have the whole top floor with Alex—alone. Holy fuck! That wasn’t good.

  “Take a look when you get back. You can stay in your room if you want, I just wanted to give you that option.”

  “I’ll have a look. Thank you,” I yawned.

  “Are you still tired? I can go and sit…”

  “No, it’s fine. I’ve probably slept too much anyway.” I sat up a little more in my seat, trying to wake myself up.

  “You never did bring your friend to meet me,” he stated out of the blue. “Are you that ashamed of working for me?”

  “I didn’t want to watch you eat her alive.”

  “I have no idea what you mean.”

  “I saw you sucking face with Maddison on set. Liv wouldn’t last an hour with you.”

  “Were you studying my kissing technique?”

  “No, I was watching you and Maddison try to eat each others’ faces. It was disgusting.” He shook his head at me and tried to hide his smirk. “And what were all those hickeys about? How old are you…fifteen?”

  “You were getting hickeys at fifteen? Jesus, you started young.”

  “Oh, shut up! You’re telling me you didn’t experiment at that age?”

  “Do you think I’m that sex crazed? That I would be thinking about sex at such a tender age? That maybe I used to try and look down my hot teacher’s top in class?” Why did I feel so alive when we joked like this? My entire body was humming with adrenalin.

  “You’re stating the obvious.”

  “Yeah, I lost my virginity at fifteen. She was older than me.” Too much information!

  “Thanks, I really wanted to know that.”

  “You asked for it,” he snorted, getting an air steward’s attention. “Do you want a drink or anything?”

  “Maybe a coke and a packet of crisps.”

  “You mean some chips?” He smirked.

  “Whatever. I’d like Walkers, if they have any.”

  “You’re a demanding little thing when you want to be, aren’t you?”

  “You have no idea.” Batting my eyelashes at him, I waited for my coke and crisps.

  “Home sweet home.” Alex stripped out of his shirt right in front of me. With his fine, muscular chest revealed, he dove into the pool. We’d only just
gotten through the doors. “Care to join me?” he challenged, swimming up to the edge of the pool. “The water is a lovely temperature.”

  “I’d like to unpack first. You’re crazy, did you know that?”

  “There’s no point in unpacking. You might be moving rooms, remember?” Shit, I’d forgotten about that. “Don’t think about it, Straight Lace, just jump.”

  “In my clothes?”

  “You can take them off if you want. I don’t mind. Come on, live a little.” Fuck it! It was only water. Surprising him, I took a step back, then leapt into the pool. The water was refreshing after the long plane journey. Alex was by my side within seconds, grabbing me around the waist. Fuck, what was he going to do? “Now you’re in trouble,” he grinned, lifting me out of the water only to throw me back in.

  “Alex,” I spluttered, catching my breath. “Don’t you dare!” I giggled as he tried to grab me again. This time, I splashed him. “No, get off!” I laughed, thinking he was going to throw me again as he pulled me into his chest, but he didn’t. Instead, he pinned me up against the side of the pool.

  “I’m glad you’re staying here with me and not going back to London.” His entire body was pressed against mine.

  “Me too,” I muttered, watching his lips. My breath was erratic, my chest heaving up and down. I wanted him to kiss me.

  “I need to ask you a favor,” he whispered, moving toward my neck. “It’s Diego’s birthday in a few weeks, and I want to hold a surprise party here, but the drama queen will find out if I plan it.”

  “I can do that,” I panted as his hands moved from my hips to my back. I was pinned against his chest now. Swallowing hard, I placed my hands on his shoulders to steady myself.

  “Thank you. I’m glad you jumped, by the way,” he grinned, tossing me into the water again playfully.

  Half an hour later, we’d both dried off and changed. I hadn't seen Diego or Shane since we’d gotten back, but Mary had given me a wave while Alex and I had been playing in the pool. Alex led me upstairs to the top floor. I didn’t know why I was suddenly so nervous.

  I gasped as he opened the double doors. This suite was for me? The room was massive. An impressive oak, four-poster bed draped in purple fabric was the first thing I noticed. The back wall was all glass, which gave a panoramic view of the Hollywood Hills. There was a large desk and dresser, plus a white leather couch on the other side of the room. I also noticed a few doors at the far end of the room.

  “Your bathroom is through there.” Alex gestured toward one of the doors.

  “Alex, this is too much. I can’t stay in here,” I gasped, walking farther into the room and running my hand down one of the posts on the bed. There was a huge flat screen TV mounted to the wall, too.

  “You’ve earned this, Nat. Don’t over think it. Come on, there’s more too see.” More? Still gaping at the space, I followed him as he opened two double doors. “This is a joint living room. My bedroom is through there. You can access the private balcony through the double doors next to it.” A large cinema sized TV took center stage in the room and was surrounded by more white leather couches. This living space was a lot different than downstairs. It was more calming, with lots of pastels and whites and scattered cushions. Basically, it had a woman’s touch.

  “So, you and Milly lived up here?” I mused, following him out onto the gigantic balcony. Holy shit! This wasn’t a balcony! It was the size of my mum and dad’s garden back home! It had a large metal table with eight chairs, a large, white garden umbrella, and four sun loungers scattered around.

  “Yeah. It worked well. It’s a big enough space to have some privacy, too. No one uses this balcony but me, and now you.” Going to the edge, I looked over. Now I knew how Alex had watched Shane and me by the pool a month ago. “There’s a great view of the pool from here.”

  “I can see that.”

  “So what do you think?”

  “I don’t think I deserve all this.”

  “Don’t be modest. You don’t have an easy job, having to put up with me.” He nudged me playfully, leaning against the balcony ledge. “Do you want to see my room? Or is that asking too much?”

  “That depends.” Tilting his head, he urged me to continue with his eyes. “You’re not trying to get me into your bedroom for a reason, are you?”

  “Straight Lace, would I do that?” Putting his hand over his heart, he pouted. Jesus, those lips!

  “Come on then. Let’s get this over with.” Truthfully, I couldn’t wait to see his bedroom. Would it give any clues to the real Alex?

  The first thing I noticed was his large, four-poster metal bed. The metal was all twisted and looked damaged. Was that symbolic? It reminded me a little of the enchanted forest in Snow White, if I was being honest. A jukebox was lit up in the far corner of the room, and there were fur rugs everywhere. Several guitars were mounted on his back wall, plus there was a grand piano in the corner of the room. He had a large, red wall in the back that spanned the length of the room. There were a few abstract paintings on his walls, along with various awards that he’d been given over the years. I had to chuckle because it was all so rock star-ish.

  “What do you think?” he asked, walking into the middle of the room.

  “I knew you’d have fur rugs,” I snorted, following him into the room. “Where is the rotating bed?”

  “I got rid of that a few years ago,” he teased, his eyes alive with humor. “I’ve kept some of the ceiling mirrors, though. I get them out on special occasions.”

  “I see.” Trying to keep a straight face, I wandered over to his large, metal bookshelf that came out of the back wall and divided the space well. It was full of old CDs and videotapes, as well as several books. “The Miracle of Mindfulness? That’s a bit deep for you,” I grinned, reading one of the book titles.

  “You can learn a lot from Buddha.”

  “You’re a Buddhist?”

  “No,” he sighed. “I’m a recovering drug addict and alcoholic.” He honestly floored me. What had possessed him to admit that to me? “You’re smart not to get mixed up with me, Straight Lace.”

  “The first step to recovering from an addiction is admitting that you have it.” It was also resisting temptation, but I wasn’t going to tell him that…not when he’d just bared his soul to me in one statement.

  “I admitted it a long time ago, Nat. I’m past saving. Drugs and Alcohol, they’re a part of me now. It’s like I’m on this never ending cycle. I’ll never be free of them, no matter what I do. I stop for a while when the doctor tells me my health is at risk, then when I’m clear, I start again.”

  “Think of the damage it’s doing, though, Alex. If you keep it up, you won’t live past fifty.”

  “Some people might say that would be good thing.” He was so dejected as he spoke.

  “Why would you say that?” I gasped. “That’s a horrible thing to say!” He shrugged, moving to pick up an acoustic guitar that was leaning against his bed. Oh God, was he going to play? I needed to sit down!

  “When you start to feel as if your life isn’t yours anymore, you lose the will to care about what might happen next.”

  “Why would you feel that way?” Perching in the corner of his bed, I closed my eyes as he began to gently strum a few chords I knew well. It was the intro to Slay Me.

  “I have a reputation to live up to. I crossed the line of fact and fiction a long time ago. I am that asshole rock star. You’ve been right all along.”

  “You’re not that bad,” I snorted.

  “I am, Nat. Fuck, if you knew the shit I’ve done…” He trailed off, his eyes dropping to his guitar. “All I’m saying is, you made a wise choice keeping your distance from me.” Why was he telling me this now?

  “I’m a clever girl.” I managed to force a smile, but was so confused by the conversation.

  “That you are,” he grinned, suddenly standing up. “Come on, let’s get you moved into your new bedroom.” He was done opening his soul up to me
for the time being, but I really hoped with me moving onto the same floor as him, that he’d open up more as the weeks passed.

  “Say that again?” I wasn’t sure I’d heard him right.

  “I get stage fright when I haven’t performed for a while.” He had to be joking. He was a rock star! I mean, the man had played in front of millions of fans over the years!

  Taking the whiskey bottle, I glared at him. “You promised your friend you would do this, now get in the damn car. You’re already late!” We’d touched down at the airport, but we still had a ten mile drive. I was glad there was a domestic airport near by. Atlanta would have been too far to drive from.

  “That’s easy for you to say. You don’t have to sing!” Alex sulked, getting into the car. “I can’t even sing my own fucking songs.” Turning my head, I giggled. I was looking forward to meeting Mr. Kirkham. He had quite the sense of humor. “Can you believe the fucker? He said all my songs are crap! At least he’s paying me, I guess.”

  “You’re giving that money to charity!”

  “Like fuck I am,” he glared, trying to grab the whiskey bottle.

  “Don’t you dare! You’re not doing this drunk! You’ll forget the words. This is an important day for your friend.”

  About ten minutes later, we pulled up to a very impressive estate. I got to look around once Alex had been shown to his dressing room because I’d agreed to get him some coffee. Mr. Kirkham didn’t look happy when he saw the state Alex was in, so I left them to have it out. He wasn’t your typical CEO. The man was seriously good looking. His wife-to-be was a lucky woman, for sure. He could hold a room, too, but with the power he had over the weapons industry, you could understand why.

  Trying to find the kitchen, I noticed two females, a redhead and brunette, and a blonde haired male near an entrance to the mansion. They looked like models.

  “Excuse me, I’m trying to get a coffee for Alex Harbour. Do you know where the kitchen is please?”

  “You know Alex Harbour?” the brunette squealed. “Where is he?”