Touch the Heavens

by Lindsay McKenna

  “There has been damage to her eyes, Major. I won’t try and tell you there hasn’t.” He shook his head. “It’s incredible to believe that she could land that plane with so much wind tearing at her face.” Sighing, he watched the major intently. “We don’t have an ophthalmic specialist here at Edwards. I can only tell you that the eyes are bruised, the skin around them badly swollen with some deep and mild lacerations caused by the visor being broken off under the force of the wind.”

  “But is she blind?” Dan demanded tautly.

  “It’s too early to tell, m

  Major. Her eyes won’t dilate when light is put upon them, but that may be due to the fact that the injury just occurred. Given a couple of days’ rest, she might be perfectly fine. But I doubt it,” he added in warning.

  “So what are you going to do about it?”

  “First we’re trying to get her records from personnel to contact her family and—”

  Dan’s eyes narrowed. “She was an orphan, Doctor. I’m all the family she has. She’s going to be my wife.”

  “I see...” he said slowly, giving Dan a more compassionate glance. “Well, as I was going to say, I’m putting a call into Carswell to get Captain Mallory transferred up there after she’s stabilized. The ophthalmic specialist, Dr. Chen, will be able to diagnose her condition much better than we can.”

  Dan wrestled with the explosion of anger and grief. “Let me see her now, Doctor,” he ordered tightly.

  Dan stepped into the silent room. Chris lay on the bed, her black hair a stark contrast to the whiteness of the sterile room. A heavy gauze bandage encircled her head, protecting her injured eyes. An IV was suspended above her, the needle in her left arm. She must have heard the door open because she slowly turned her head in his direction.

  “Dan?” she called, her voice tremulous.

  He crossed the room in three strides, gripping her right hand. “Here,” he returned softly. He stared down at her, an avalanche of dammed emotions breaking loose within him. “You know something, Raven,” he whispered thickly, “you’re the bravest woman I know. And I love the hell out of you.”

  He leaned down, gently touching her lips. Her lips were cool and chapped beneath his mouth. He felt her weakly respond. It was enough. Continuing to grip her hand, he straightened up, remaining at her side, watching her closely. “How do you feel?”

  Chris ran her tongue across her lips. “Like hell. I hurt all over. My eyes, Dan....” Her speech was slurred from the drugs, her movements jerky and uncoordinated.

  “Just a precaution, Raven,” he soothed her, hearing the fear in her torn voice.

  She moaned softly. “No, they hurt. God, they hurt so much...the wind...” And she babbled on for a moment, finally quieting when he placed his hand on her hair, stroking her head gently.

  “Ssh, Raven, everything is going to be all right,” he crooned. “I’m here and you’re safe.”

  “Don’t—don’t leave....”

  His heart wrung in anguish over her words. “No, honey, I won’t leave you for a moment. Not even a second.” He stroked her damp hair. “Go to sleep, Raven. You’re tired and you need to rest.”

  “My eyes...hurt....”

  “I know, I know. But soon they’ll stop hurting, Raven. Sleep, honey. I’ll be here when you wake up.”

  A small sob escaped from her. “Promise, Dan?”

  He shut his eyes tightly, fighting back his own need to weep. “Yes, I promise, Raven. I’ll be here for the rest of your life.”

  As soon as Dan was convinced she was sleeping, he strode out of the room, finding the nearest phone. When he called Operations, his face became set with tension and anger. Settling the flight cap on his head, he stopped just long enough at the desk to tell the nurse where he could be reached in case Chris awoke. Then he told Karen and Mark what the doctor had said.

  “Where are you going now?” Karen asked, tears staining her cheeks.

  “Over to Ops. They just brought Brodie in,” he snarled softly.

  Karen gripped his arm. “Do you want me to stay with Chris until you come back?”

  Dan nodded, his features softening for a moment. “Yes, I promised I’d be there when she woke up. This won’t take long. I’ll be back.”

  Dan jerked open the door that led to the commandant’s office. Peggy, the secretary leaped to her feet, ready to say something and then wisely decided not to. Dan glared over at her.

  “Where’s Brodie?”

  “In there. Dan...the colonel is on his way over here. Why don’t you wait—”

  His nostrils flared. “Peg, you keep this door shut. Whatever you hear in there, you ignore, understand?”

  Peg nodded jerkily, never having seen Dan McCord angry. “I—ah, sure.”

  Brodie was sitting on one of the leather chairs, a paper cup filled with coffee balanced in both of his trembling hands. The captain’s face drained of what little color had returned as he saw McCord silently enter the room. The stillness became brittle between them as the captain shakily put down the coffee on the desk.

  “You’d better stand up,” Dan snarled, advancing.

  Brodie stood, his fists clenched at his sides. He looked exhausted, his green flight uniform still retaining marks of his recent ejection. “Look, McCord, I didn’t mean for the situation to get out of hand. I just wanted to shake her up a little. That’s all. Nobody in their right mind would want to have to eject in a situation like that. Use your head. It was a—”

  Dan grabbed him by the collar of his flight suit. “You son of a bitch,” he breathed harshly, “you damn near killed her.”

  Brodie threw up his arms, trying to push McCord away. It was useless. Both men were lean, but McCord had the height, and an anger that wouldn’t be stilled.

  “It—it was just a joke, damn it!” Brodie pleaded, his eyes widening. “It got out of hand!”

  The roar of rage filled Dan’s ears. “A joke! You call twisting that T-handle a joke? An accident? You lying bastard. Do you know she’s over there in the hospital right now because of you? She could be blind!” he roared at Brodie. “Do you hear me? Blind because of your lousy hatred of a woman being a test pilot!”

  “But I didn’t mean—”

  Dan muttered a snarl, doubling his fist and landing it squarely against Brodie’s jaw. The pilot slammed backward into the wall, holding his bloodied mouth.

  “McCord!”

  Dan turned, straightening up from his hunched posture.

  Colonel Martin glared at both of them. “Captain Brodie! Sit down!’’ he snapped. He swung sharply. “Dan, why don’t you go back to the hospital?”

  Shakily Dan turned toward the captain. “You’re going to pay for this,” he breathed harshly. He glared back at the colonel. As much in warning to his commanding officer, Dan spat out, “He damned near killed Chris. She could be blind for life because of him. I’m not letting him get away with this!”

  Brodie edged toward the chair closest to the colonel, seeking an ally in the commandant. Blood trickled through his fingers as he tried to stem the flow from the cut at the corner of his mouth. “You can’t prove a goddamn thing, Major,” he growled. “Colonel, it was just a little joke. That’s all. I didn’t plan to eject or put her in a dangerous situation. Hell, the way McCord’s acting, you’d think she’s something special. She’s just an officer like the rest of us. Everyone plays tricks on someone else. It’s common.”

  Dan took a deep, unsteady breath, his blue eyes black with anger. “You sick bastard,” he growled ominously, “she’s going to be my wife. And there’s no way in hell that I’ll let any court-martial get away with not taking your wings and kicking you out of the Air Force.” He pointed his finger at Brodie’s stunned features. “And that’s a promise, mister. And if the Air Force doesn’t back me on this, I’ll haul your ass into civil court and see you behind bars where you really belong.” McCord trembled violently, throwing off the hatred and murder that seethed inside him. He looked over at the colonel. �
�I’m going back to the hospital. If you want me, I’ll be there.”

  Martin nodded grimly. “Go ahead,” he answered, his voice losing an edge of its hardness. “And tell Dr. Hunter I want a full report on Chris’s condition as soon as possible.”

  Anger drained from Dan, making him feel suddenly weak and shaky. “Yes, sir. They’ll probably be transporting her on a MATS flight to Carswell,” he said slowly, “they have an ophthalmic specialist there.”

  “On your way out, Dan, tell Peggy to get those details. I’ll personally make sure we have a C-130 standing by to transport her there.”

  Gratefully, Dan nodded. “Thank you, sir.”

  “Get going. I’ll talk to you later, Dan.”

  Later, as Dan sat on a chair next to Chris’s bed, he realized just how much he had lost control at the commandant’s office. Martin could have had him up on charges for hitting a fellow officer. But he hadn’t. He rubbed his face tiredly, keeping a firm grip on Chris’s right hand. Several times she had become conscious, only to be pulled back under by the powerful sedative. And each time, he would talk soothingly to Chris, watching her immediately relax and stop fighting the effects of the drugs. Colonel Martin had made a visit, and arrangements had been made for Chris to be flown to Carswell tomorrow morning. By the grim look on Dr. Hunter’s face, Dan tried to prepare himself for the worst possible diagnosis.

  He stroked Chris’s limp hand, trying to pass some of his own body warmth to her cool fingers. Not only did he have to now control his own emotional state, he also had to help Chris realize that she could be blind for the rest of her life. With a deep sigh, Dan leaned back, resting as best he could in the uncomfortable chair, the world closing in on him.

  Chris awoke slowly, aware of a dull ache pounding in her head. Her mouth felt dry, as if cotton balls were lodged inside. She tried to lick her chapped lips. The drugs were wearing off, leaving her in a hazy in-between state. With her keen hearing she picked up the sound of jets taking off from not too far away. Blinking, she gradually realized that she wasn’t seeing anything. She was only aware of the fact that there was light. Weakly she raised her arm to touch her eyes.

  “Don’t do that,” Dan instructed softly, catching her hand in midair.

  “Dan?”

  “Better believe it. How do you feel, honey?”

  Chris responded to the gentle quality in his tone. His voice was soft, providing a balm to her shattered senses and disorientation. She frowned. “Where am I?”

  “You’re at the hospital on Carswell Air Force Base. We had you flown in here yesterday.”

  Bits and pieces of the entire jigsaw puzzle of events began filtering into her questioning, groping mind. Slowly Dan reconstructed the series of events, answering her questions. Between explanations, he poured some orange juice into a cup, guiding it to her lips. She drank thirstily, asking for more.

  “Help me sit up, will you? I hate feeling like such a weak sister,” she said, holding out her arms in his direction.

  Dan smiled, loving her courage. “For you, lady, anything.”

  She managed a sliver of a smile for the first time and it buoyed his spirits. “There’s that McCord bs again.”

  He brought her into a sitting position, stuffing several pillows behind her back and head. “That’s okay, you’re going to be a McCord real soon yourself, so don’t be making too much fun of the name.”

  Chris tilted her head. “You’re right,” she murmured. She grimaced, feeling the threads of panic rising in her throat as the effect of the drugs continued to abate. “My eyes, Dan. What about my eyes?” She touched the bandages carefully. “Is this temporary? I know I took a lot of wind coming down.”

  “Yes,” he hedged forcing his voice to remain neutral. Dan gathered her hands, cradling them within his own.

  Chris became quiet, her head tilted toward him. Only the tension at the corners of her mouth was evidence of her anxiety. “What’s wrong with my eyes?” she asked, pain etched in her voice.

  Dan cleared his throat, taking a better grip on her hands. “We don’t know the extent of the damage yet, Raven.”

  Her heart began to pound in her chest. “Damage?” she whispered. “Am I—I—”

  “We don’t know, honey,” he reassured her quickly. “It’s too soon—”

  Chris gave a small cry, pressing her hands against her mouth. “No! Oh, God, no!” The strangled sounds filled the painful silence seconds afterward.

  Dan’s heart wrenched in anguish as he sat there watching her struggle with the reality. He felt her utter helplessness and wanted to console Chris. But there were no words to assuage the terrible anguish apparent on her face and in her voice. He gently captured one hand, squeezing it tenderly.

  “Listen,” he began, “it’s too soon to tell, Raven. No matter what happens, I’ll be here. You aren’t alone this time. Do you hear me?” His voice cracked and he compressed his mouth, fighting back his own tears. “I love you, lady. Enough to see us both through this...together.”

  “At least I didn’t punch out,” she said hoarsely.

  “No, lady. You rode the bird down like a true champ.”

  Chris fretted over the bandage on her eyes. “Brodie did it on purpose, Dan. He pulled the T-handle. I didn’t give him permission to eject.”

  “He’s being taken care of,” he reassured her tightly. “Right now all I want to do is have you concentrate on regaining your strength. Dr. Chen says you can go home in another day or two.”

  “Home?” she questioned, rawness evident in her voice.

  Dan rose, sitting on the edge of the bed, caressing her cheek. “Yes, home. To Howard and Melvina’s ranch. The doctor felt since it was going to take another ten days before we knew the extent of your injuries, you would do better in a home environment.” He searched her face, now glistening with tears. “Are you game, Raven? Will you come home with me?”

  Chris sobbed, nodding her head. Blindly she reached outward, seeking the safe haven of Dan’s embrace. His strong, protective arms slid around her body, holding her close, assuaging her grief, pain and terror.

  He held her for a long, long time, trying to give her the renewed strength and courage that she would need. Kissing her hair, he finally released her from his tight grip. She raised her hand, groping, finding his face. Her fingertips were cool against his jaw.

  “I—” she floundered “—I hate not being able to see you, Dan.”

  He winced, trying to keep his voice neutral despite the horror he was feeling. “I know, Raven. Now quit fretting like a young filly who’s had a saddle on for the first time.”

  “I make a lousy patient, don’t I?” And then Chris raised her head toward him. She extended her hand, caressing his cheek. “I love you, Dan McCord. Kiss me. Please?”

  It took every fiber to remain in control of his emotions as he leaned forward, holding her pliant body against his. He brushed her lips with a feathery kiss. “I love you, lady. More than I’ll ever be able to tell or show you,” he whispered against her mouth. The second time he claimed her he imprinted the burgeoning love he had held in until this moment. Hungrily he drank in the warmth of her, tasting the honeylike depths of her mouth. Fire sang through his body as he captured her in a kiss that melded them like hot, tempered steel—steel that would be tested to the limits of their love.

  Dan stood tensely at the end of the hospital bed as Dr. Chen slowly unwrapped the bandage from Chris’s face. It had been two harrowing days since they had come to Carswell, and she was showing her impatience at being bedridden. Wisely, the doctor had decided it was time to release her to Dan’s care.

  Chris was aware that her palms were growing more sweaty as each layer of gauze fell away. She couldn’t get a straight answer out of Dan or the doctors about her eyesight, adding to her tightly leashed fear and frustration. The only time Dr. Chen would come to check her eyes was at night. And then he would fastidiously use his small flashlight and ask her the same questions again and again. “Is my flashli
ght on, Captain Mallory?” he would ask.

  “Yes.”

  “What do you see?”

  “Light.”

  “Hmm, very good. How about now?”

  She frowned, blinking away the tears that always fell when her injured eyes were exposed to the open air. “It’s dark again.”

  “And now?”

  “Light.”

  “Good. Very good.”

  She wondered if he was going to go through the same thing today. It was so dark when he would check her that she couldn’t see anything beyond the scope of the light being flashed into her eyes. Today was the first time she would be able to see Dan...to see his smiling face once again. Excitement wound through her, and she could barely keep herself under control. “It will be so good to get this bandage off,” she confided huskily, clasping her hands in her lap.

  Dan watched her mobile, expressive face, searching for the marks of the crash that had occurred five days earlier. As the last of the gauze fell away, Dan saw the yellowing of the bruised flesh around her cheekbones and on her brow. Dr. Chen asked her to lean back while he removed the protective pads from her eyes. Dan walked quietly around to the other side of the bed, slipping his hand into hers. She gave him a game smile.

  “I bet I look awful. Black eyes and all,” she managed.

  “You look absolutely gorgeous,” Dan parried.

  “If you like women with black eyes,” she retorted, hardly able to wait until the last pad was removed. Dr. Chen had warned her sternly to keep her eyes closed until he told her to open them.

  “I happen to love you with or without black eyes,” Dan said.

  Chris wrinkled her nose. “Masochist.”

  “No, just lucky. Now be still while Dr. Chen works on you,” he admonished gently. Dan knew it was her way of showing her nervousness. He saw the four hairline cuts that had been caused by the broken visor, relieved that none had required stitches or plastic surgery. The swelling around her eyes that had frightened him so much was nearly gone. Chen gently placed his thumbs below her eyebrows.

  “Hmm, still some fluid retention. But that’s to be expected under the circumstances.” He deftly continued to press around the bones of the upper face until he was satisfied. “Much better, Captain Mallory, much better.”