Never Far Away

by Anie Michaels

  “I’m sorry,” she whispered, aiming her face up at his, even though she couldn’t see him. She felt his breath on her face and he was as close to her as one could be without kissing. She ached for his lips to touch hers, for him to show her that even though she had brought turmoil into his life, he still wanted her, still desired her.

  He slowly ran his nose along the side of her face and then flipped his nose against the tip of hers. She felt him smile, but he still didn’t kiss her.

  “Tell me you won’t run away from me,” he whispered against her lips, just barely touching.

  “I’m not sure I could leave, even if I tried,” she answered.

  “Tell me you won’t try.”

  “I won’t try.”

  His lips slowly pressed into hers and she exhaled all the tension she’d built up over the night into this kiss. It wasn’t rushed. It wasn’t full of passion. It was simply loving. He caressed her mouth with his gently and gingerly, as if her were expressing with his lips how fragile he felt they were in that moment. He simply kissed her, loved her. She felt one of his hands rest on the curve of her waist, and she reached up and felt the stubble on his face.

  “I’d find you, you know,” he said as he laid feather-light kisses along her neck.

  “What do you mean?” She rasped, her heartbeat pulsing right under where his lips were caressing her on her neck.

  “If you left, I’d find you. I found you once before. I’d find you again. Always.” She smiled at his words.

  “So you’re saying there’s no point?”

  “Absolutely none.”

  “Ok.”

  He kissed her again, then rolled her so that her back was to his front. She felt him nuzzle his face into her hair and neck, breathing in deeply.

  “Go to sleep, Baby. Everything will look better in the morning.” Ella relaxed into his arms, letting herself melt into him as she had every other night they’d spent together. Her breaths started to even out and her mind started to wander. Images of the man ghosting past the window broke her from her relaxation and her body tensed at the sudden fear that shot through her body.

  “Porter?”

  “Yeah?”

  “Did you lock the doors?”

  “Yes, Babe. All the doors are locked, the sheriff is patrolling past the house, and I’m right here. I won’t let anyone get to you. I promise.”

  She relaxed slightly at his words, and his protective hold on her helped, but she wasn’t used to feeling scared. She didn’t think it was a feeling to likely go away any time soon. He started to gently rub her back, massaging away the tension and fear.

  “Sleep, Ella. I’m here; you’re safe.” She let the rhythm of his breathing and the feeling of his hands on her skin lull her into sleep.

  Chapter Twelve

  Ella

  The next morning Porter woke her up, pulling her into the shower. They didn’t say any words about what had happened the night before. He just made love to her under the hot water, slowly showing her how much he needed her. The fear from the night before was still present, but having his arms around her made her remember that he would protect her always.

  While she was getting dressed, she turned to him, taking a moment to admire his shirtless body.

  “You are so ridiculously hot,” she said with a grin. He turned to her and smiled widely.

  “Well, we make a matching pair then, because you are smoking hot as well.” She batted her eyelashes at him playfully.

  “I am pretty cute.” He shook his head and laughed at her. “Hey, by the way, Kalli and Megan want us to go out with them on Friday night. Megan wants to celebrate her promotion by going to a club.” Porter shot her a look that clearly said he wasn’t interested.

  “Ella, when have I ever given you the impression that I am a ‘club’ kind of guy?” He asked sardonically.

  “Never, actually. But I definitely got the impression that you were a ‘hang out with my girlfriend and maybe get to watch her shake her ass’ kind of guy.”

  “I could get you to shake your ass for me at home,” he said with a smug grin.

  “You’re right. That’s true. Tell you what, you stay home and I’ll go shake my ass for all the other guys who go to the club.” She never even saw him approach her, she just knew that the next moment she was in his arms and his breath was on her face, eyes locked on hers.

  “That was not the smartest thing to say,” he growled at her and used his teeth to nip at her bottom lip.

  “Hmm… maybe not, but I like the reaction it got out of you.”

  “You want me to go clubbing with you and your friends?”

  “I want to spend time with you. And I think it could be fun to go to a club. We don’t have to dance, but I was looking forward to pressing my body up against yours and feeling all your muscles,” she smiled playfully.

  “Well, that doesn’t sound all bad. But won’t we be the oldest people there? Crashing the college kids’ party?”

  Ella tsked-tsked at him. “Porter, don’t you watch Portlandia at all? You’re not cool in Portland until you’re thirty.” He laughed at her.

  “Ok, I’ll go, but you owe me big time. And I expect prompt payment.”

  She smiled up at him. “Anything you want, Baby.”

  He roughly kissed her on the lips, groaning into her mouth as her tongue slid along his.

  “Don’t make promises you can’t keep,” he rasped at her.

  “I never do.” With that he slapped her ass and walked away from her shaking his head.

  “I’ve got to leave for work in twenty minutes. Is that going to be enough time for you?” he asked as he walked away from her into the closet. Her heart constricted a little, knowing he had picked up on the fact that she was afraid to be in the house alone.

  “I’ll be ready,” she answered softly.

  Twenty minutes later he walked her to her car and kissed her softly.

  “I will be in Portland by seven tonight. Will you be ok until I get there?” He asked, rubbing the back of her hand down her cheek, sending chills down her spine. She put a bright smile on her face, hiding the doubt she had.

  “I’ll be fine, Porter. Take your time.” He looked into her eyes for a moment, seemingly searching them for something. Finally, he took her lips with his again, kissing her senseless, as he had a tendency to do. She pushed away all the uncertainty and let herself feel him and everything he was giving to her. She pushed her hands up his hard chest, wrapping them around his neck, tugging his hair gently, pulling him closer. He groaned and his hands found purchase on her ass, holding her to him. After what seemed like hours of him kissing her deliciously, he pulled away.

  “I had you not an hour ago and I still want more of you,” he said in a voice so deep and sexy she almost pulled him back into the house.

  “That’s good, Porter. It will make the day go by faster,” she said as she winked at him.

  “Highly unlikely,” he grimaced.

  “Go to work. Be a man. Hammer some nails. Work out your sexual frustration.” He laughed at her.

  “I’d rather work out my sexual frustration on you,” he whispered directly into her ear, which might as well have been a direct line to her core because everything south of her belly button constricted and ached with his words.

  “Sounds like a plan for later,” she answered with just as much frustration.

  “Text me when you get to Portland safely,” he requested.

  “I will.” She tipped up on her toes and placed another quick kiss right on his lips. “I love you, Porter.”

  “I love you too,” he answered against her lips.

  Ell made it to Portland and went directly to Poppy. The sun was out in full force again and there were only a few white puffy clouds in the sky. The beautiful weather made everything seem a little more tolerable and pulling up to the store, it felt a little less nerve racking than it had the day before. She still needed to take a few deep breaths to steady herself and tried not to let
her thoughts drift towards the man in the hoodie. It took her a fraction of the time to get into the store, and smiled when she saw Brittany and Megan behind the counter.

  “Ella, I was just talking to Brittany about all the changes happening at the store,” Megan said with a bright and infectious smile.

  “Are you really going to promote me to assistant manager?” Brittany asked hopefully.

  “Don’t sound so surprised, Brit. You do an amazing job here. Does your excitement mean you’ll accept the position?”

  “Of course I will! I can’t believe this,” she said with such a big smile, it made Ella’s cheeks hurt just looking at her. All of a sudden, though, her face became sad. “Does this mean you won’t be around as much?”

  “Well, I won’t be a complete stranger, but yeah, I won’t be here every day anymore. That’s what you and Megan are for. And you’re going to be amazing managers. I am so excited for all this to happen. Plus,” Ella added,” I’ll also need both of your help getting the new store running and hiring new staff.”

  “Ella, anything you need, just let us know. Right, Brittany?”

  “Definitely,” Brittany answered sincerely.

  “Great. How’s business today?”

  “Pretty slow so far, but I think the weather will bring out all the shoppers.”

  “Well, I have a few calls to make, but I am here all day, so I will be out soon.” Ella went into the back of the store to her desk and sat down. She pulled the business card out that Dr. Andrews had given her and tapped it on the desk a few times gathering up the nerve to call. Finally, she picked up the phone from the desk and dialed the number.

  “Dr. Evans’ office. How can I help you?”

  “Hi, I was referred to Dr. Evans by Dr. Andrews at OHSU. I was hoping to make an appointment and I was wondering what your earliest availability was,” Ella asked, trying to sound cool and collected, and not at all like she needed a psychiatric evaluation.

  “Absolutely. Would this be a solo visit or is this couple’s counseling?”

  “Well, actually, it would be for two, but it’s not actually couples counseling. Or, I don’t know, maybe it is. Is there any way I could just make the appointment for two and then talk to the doctor about it?” She didn’t want to divulge all her personal information to a receptionist over the phone.

  “Of course. I have an opening two weeks from Tuesday, which we could work into regular meeting if you decide to continue seeing Dr. Evans. But if you’re looking for a more immediate appointment, I have an opening today at four.” Ella looked at the clock. It was only ten am. Porter would have to leave Lincoln City by one-thirty to make a four o’clock appointment. She knew that she was walking a thin line between ‘ok’ and ‘not ok’, and thought it best to take the appointment.

  “Ok, I will be there for the four o’clock. I am not sure if my boyfriend can make it, but I will definitely be there.”

  “Great. What is your name?”

  “Ella Sinclair.”

  “Great. Ella, you are confirmed for four o’clock. Please show up a few minutes early to fill out paperwork.”

  “Thank you.”

  “Have a nice day.” Ella heard the line go dead. She picked up her cell phone to text Porter.

  **Hey Babe. I made it to Portland safe and sound. I also made an appointment with the psychiatrist. They had an opening in two weeks, or one today at four. I took the appointment today, but I totally understand if you can’t make it. I just felt like, for me, the sooner the better.**

  Ella started checking her email to get caught up as much as she could and heard her phone ping a few minutes later.

  **I think it’s important that we go together, if that’s ok with you. Like I said, I want to be there for you, but I need it too. I will always make time for you. I will be there.**

  Ella melted a little at his words. Of course he would be there. She was beginning to fully understand that there was nothing Porter wouldn’t do for her. It warmed her to think that he would rearrange his day and leave work early to make a doctor’s appointment.

  **How did I get so lucky to find you?**

  **Luck had nothing to do with it, Ella. Fate pushed us together and then we fought like hell to find each other again. Luck doesn’t keep me with you, love does.”

  **I love you.**

  **I love you too.**

  **You have the address right?**

  **Yes. I will see you at four.**

  **Ok. Drive safely.**

  The day at the shop went quickly. As expected there were a lot of women out window shopping in the beautiful sunshine. Sales were good and both Brittany and Megan were on cloud nine, basking in the glow of their promotions. Ella got lost in the new stock, mentally pairing tops with bottoms, matching patterns and colors. There was a lot of business knowledge and strategy that went in to running a successful store, but Ella really enjoyed the artistic side of it as well. Fashion was something she loved. Even though she knew she could never be an actual designer, as she lacked the ability to draw even a respectable stick figure, she knew and loved clothes. She had even toyed with the idea once of being a stylist, but the need for personal stylists in Portland was not paramount. As the city started to slowly grow, in both population and cool factor, more and more people were viewing Portland as a new and exciting place to be. Movies and television shows were filmed there more often, which is what continued to bring Kalli to town. More and more celebrities started making Portland a second home. Perhaps in a few years, when the new Poppy was off the ground and self-sufficient, Ella would look into getting some work as a personal stylist.

  New ideas and plans kept Ella’s mind consumed well into the afternoon and eventually it was time for her to leave for her appointment. As she drove to the doctor’s office, she tried not to let her nerves get to her. She had never been to see a psychiatrist and wasn’t sure how her first appointment would go. It did soothe her a little to know that Porter would be there. Ella laughed to herself a little at their strange situation.

  Had she normally started dating a man three months ago, she could only imagine that she would probably keep the fact that she needed a shrink to herself. But here they were, with only really three weeks of actually being together under their belts, and they were seeing the doctor together. One thing was for sure: where she and Porter were concerned, nothing was ordinary.

  She pulled up to the building that housed the office of Dr. Evans and was nearly giddy to see Porter leaning up against the tailgate of his truck. His blue jeans hung deliciously from his hips, tee shirt stretched against his muscles as every shirt he owned tended to do, brown hair pointing in every direction imaginable. He was looking at his phone but saw her car pull up behind his truck and gave her a heart-stopping smile. When she made it out of the car and walked up to him, she wrapped her arms around his middle, resting her cheek against his chest.

  “I’m so glad you’re here,” she said.

  “Me too.”

  When she pulled away, he took her hand and laced his fingers through hers. He used his other hand to open the door for her. When they found the right door to Dr. Evans office they went inside and Ella was greeted with a smile from the receptionist.

  “Hi, I’m Ella Sinclair and I made an appointment earlier today over the phone.”

  “Right, of course,” the receptionist said. “Here are the forms I need you to fill out. And I also need to know, will this be billed to insurance?”

  “No, I’ll be paying cash,” Porter answered, before she could get a word in edge-wise.

  “Perfect,” the receptionist beamed a smile right at Porter. Ella noticed that the woman’s eyes did a poor job of remaining on Porter’s face, as she watched her rake her gaze over the same muscles Ella had admired right outside the building. Before she knew what was happening, Ella’s hand threaded itself through the crook in Porter’s arm, staking claim. Porter didn’t seem to notice anything out of the ordinary, but Ella saw the receptionist’s eyes fall on her ha
nd laying gently on his forearm. More than ever, at that moment, Ella wanted a ring on Porter’s finger, just to send a message that he was most definitely taken.

  “Just bring me the forms when you are done filling them out and the doctor will be out to greet you in a few minutes.”

  “Thanks,” Porter said, without giving her another look. Ella simply nodded at the woman as she turned to sit and fill out her form.

  After all the forms were complete, a door in the office opened up and a woman who looked to be about forty stepped into the waiting room, just far enough to peek around the corner at them.

  “Ella Sinclair?” Ella and Porter stood and he took her hand in his again, threading their fingers together.

  “Good afternoon, I am Dr. Evans. Please, follow me.” They trailed behind the doctor as she led them through the office and to a door with her name engraved on the front. She opened the door and motioned for them to go in ahead of her. “Please, take a seat and make yourselves comfortable.”

  They both sat in arm chairs that were opposite Dr. Evans’ desk, and even though Ella knew there wasn’t anything to be nervous about, she was anything but comfortable. The doctor took a seat behind her desk and shuffled some paperwork around making neat piles. She had shoulder-length brown hair that was so straight Ella wondered if it was made to be so. Her eyes were dark and hidden behind large framed glasses. She wasn’t wearing any jewelry apart from a thin wedding band. Her face was friendly and when she finally looked up at Ella and Porter, she gave them a reassuring smile.

  “Ella, my receptionist noted that you were referred from Dr. Andrews at OHSU. He is a colleague and good friend of mine for many years. I had him fax over your medical file. However, I have no information on you, Sir,” she said looking at Porter.

  “My name is Porter Masters and I am Ella’s boyfriend. Medically, there is nothing really to know about me.”