An Act of Redemption: Order & Chaos Book 3

by Wolfe, Samantha

  I asked Angel. "No," she replied. "We've been so slow that I've been having the others not come in until one." I tried to ignore how that fact broke my heart a little. My business was already in free fall. It made me feel a little sick.

  "No," I answered Gareth.

  "That's good," he said. "You probably won't be able to open again for a while, Ford."

  "No," I blurted out indignantly. "I...I can't do that."

  "Ford," Gareth said gently. "There are reporters camped outside your business. You can't have your employees and your customers walking through that gauntlet. It could turn into a media circus. We want to lesson the attention on Apex Ink, not make it worse."

  I knew he was right, but it still hurt. I felt like I was admitting defeat and letting Angel and all my employees down, but I really didn't have a choice. "Okay," I said dejectedly.

  "It's only temporary," Gareth said reassuringly.

  Was it? Or was it the beginning of the end for my business? My stomach roiled again at that thought.

  "You guys need to go. Right now," Gareth said in a firmer tone. "And text me the address, so I can pick you up for that interview with the detectives tomorrow."

  Fuck. I'd forgotten about that. "Alright." My voice was a pathetic whisper. This time I ended the call abruptly. I looked at Jen. Her face was filled with worry and sympathy. She was counting on me to keep fighting and not to give up, but it kept getting harder and harder. I took in a shuddering breath as I tried to regain my composure. Fake it, until you make it. Right? "Gareth wants us to leave right now," I told her in an even tone that was complete bullshit.

  She nodded. "I'll go pack up my stuff." She hurried out of the room. I rose to follow her.

  "What about the shop, Ford?" Angel asked as she dumped the last of the broken ceramic into the trash under my kitchen sink.

  "We have to close for a while," I told her as I fought to keep it together. "Tell everyone that I'll pay their wages anyway. I don't want this to hurt any of you." I closed my eyes as guilt washed over me. "Tell everyone I'm sorry, Angel."

  I felt a hand press against my chest. I opened my eyes to look down at Angel. "Ford," she said softly. "There's no need to apologize. This isn't your fault."

  "I still feel bad."

  "Don't." She gave me a worried frown. "I don't blame you, and neither do the others. We all love you and believe in you."

  I nodded as I tried to ignore the sympathy in Mom and Angel's eyes. It threatened my control. I fled the kitchen as I held on to my composure by a thread.

  In the bedroom, Jen was quickly packing her overnight bag. I managed to give her a wan smile as I crossed to my closet. I opened the door and stepped in. I found my duffel bag, then started packing clothes into it. I glanced down to see the small canvas bag on the floor that Nick dropped off this morning. I snatched it up and shoved that into the larger bag too. Jen and I were going to need what he'd brought me, I was sure. I grabbed a few other things we'd need to go with it. I couldn't wait to surprise Jen. It was the only thing good I had to look forward to right now.

  I carried the duffel out of the closet and walked to my dresser. I pulled open a drawer to grab some socks and boxers. When I finished packing, I turned to watch Jen zipping closed her bag where she'd set it on the bed. The bed where we'd shared so much, and where we should be sleeping in each other's arms tonight. I really didn't want to leave. I felt completely lost again.

  "I'm ready," she said softly.

  I nodded and started to leave the room, keeping silent so Jen couldn't tell how much I was struggling not to break down again.

  She grabbed my arm as I tried to walk past her. "Hey," she said soothingly. "Come here, baby." She reached up and put her arms around my neck. I dropped my bag and sighed into her embrace, wrapping her in my arms and holding her close. I pressed my face into her neck and breathed her in. She smelled like vanilla musk and home. I ground my teeth together and forced down the tide of emotion that threatened to drown me once more. It was getting more difficult each time.

  Jen pulled back and looked at me sharply with knowing eyes. "Just because you promised not to give up, that doesn't mean you're not allowed to feel anything, or to struggle with it. It's okay to be upset, to be scared. We all are, Ford." Tears welled up in her gorgeous eyes. Mine burned with them myself.

  "I...I don't want to let you down," I whispered.

  "That's impossible," she said firmly. I hoped she was right, because disappointing her would be the end of me.

  "I love you, Jen," I murmured as I brushed my lips across hers, feeling overwhelmed by something better. Love. It nearly took my breath away.

  "I love you, too." Her eyes gleamed with love and adoration. It helped to calm my scattered emotions. "Let's get out of here."

  I nodded. Holy hell, I'd be lost right now, if it weren't for my Jenny. It was a relief to know for certain that I had her if nothing else. We grabbed our bags and walked out of my room hand in hand, to face whatever came next, together.

  **********

  I stood on the patio of the large terrace of my mother's lake house with the breeze off the lake sifting through my hair. I stared off across the water. The sun was glinting off the lake like diamonds, and the trees surrounding Mom's property were filled with dappled sunlight and singing birds. I could smell the water and the scent of fresh-cut grass. I closed my eyes and felt the sun warm my face as I listened to a boat engine somewhere off in the distance. It really was beautiful and peaceful out here, and maybe it was good that I'd gotten out of my apartment. It had started to feel like a prison.

  I turned and glanced back at the house. The impressive three-story building was covered in cedar shingles, and I swear had more windows than walls. I could see Jen through the massive windows that looked out on the lake. She was pacing across the living room talking to her brother Andy on the phone.

  I sighed. I needed to call Natie, but I just didn't have the energy to talk to anyone right now. That and I didn't want to take the chance of crying again. No matter what Jen said about it being okay to let my feelings out with the people I cared about, I still didn't like it. I had never been like this before, and it was disturbing and humiliating.

  My phone rang in my pocket. I pulled it out to see that my sister was calling. I guess I shouldn't have been surprised. I'm sure Mom talked to her already, and she was worried about me.

  "Hey, Natie," I answered in a warm, yet subdued voice. No matter what, it was good to hear from her.

  "Hey, big brother," she replied, concern clearly evident in her tone. "Mom called and told me what happened this morning. Are you okay?"

  "I've been better," I said dejectedly as I walked over to a nearby chaise and sat on the edge of it. "I had to close the shop temporarily," I added tiredly. I leaned my elbows on my knees and stared at the flagstone under my feet.

  "Oh, Ford," she said with deep sympathy. "I'm so sorry." She knew what Apex Ink meant to me.

  "I have to go back to the police station for an interview tomorrow too." I sighed softly. "I'm so tired of all this, Natie." My voice quavered a little, but I ignored it.

  "Do you want me to come see you?" she asked. "I could bring Daniel up to the lake house."

  "I really just want to be alone with Jen," I told her apologetically. As much as I loved seeing my sister and my nephew, I didn't have it in me to be social with anyone. "It's all I can handle right now. I'm sorry, Natie."

  "That's okay, Ford," she replied understandingly. "I'm here for you, whatever you need."

  "How is Daniel?" I asked, anxious to turn the subject away from myself. I needed a distraction, not a long discussion about my horrible situation.

  "He's perfect," she answered as warmth filled her tone. If Natie realized I was deflecting she was kind enough not to point it out. "I love being a mom, Ford. I don't know what I'm going to do when I go back to work in two weeks." Her voice turned emotional. "I'm going to miss him so much, but I miss my job too."

  "You could always
work part time," I suggested. She didn't have to work at all really. Money wasn't an issue for either of us, but like me, Natie loved her job and needed it. Neither of us were spoiled rich kids. I'm still not sure how our parents managed to raise us without that happening.

  "I've thought about it. Maybe I will."

  "How's David?" I asked.

  "Still the best father ever." I could hear the smile in her voice. "He's been struggling since going back to work though. He misses his son a lot."

  I frowned. Talking about fatherhood brought up thoughts of my father and the end of our relationship. I tried to pretend it didn't hurt, but it still did. Writing him off had been for the best, but it certainly hadn't been easy.

  After a long moment of silence, Natie spoke. "I talked to Dad." It was like she read my mind.

  "Yeah?" I asked hesitantly. I wasn't sure I wanted to hear what she had to say. I hadn't wanted her to confront Dad about what happened between him and me. I didn't want her relationship with him to be broken like mine.

  "You need to talk to him, Ford," she said softly. That was not what I expected her to say at all. I was instantly angry.

  "That's not going to happen, Natalie," I snapped at her.

  "He knows he fucked up," she replied reasonably. "I made sure he understood that what he walked in on three years ago was between two consenting adults, not a sexual assault. I think he gets that now. I let him know, in no uncertain terms, that he's been an asshole and owes you an apology."

  "I'm done letting him hurt me," I growled out. I didn't want to hear anymore of his passive-aggressive bullshit and snide comments. I didn't want to talk to a man who questioned his own son's innocence. I tried for three long years to reconnect with him to no avail. It was too late. I was done. Besides, I had enough on my plate to deal with right now.

  "But Ford-" she continued.

  "I'm done talking about this," I bit out angrily. I felt like I was on the edge of losing my temper completely, and I didn't want to take it out on my sister.

  Natie huffed out in exasperation. "Fine," she said irritably. I knew better than to think she was actually done with this subject. I'm sure she'd revisit it later, but not right now. I couldn't deal with anymore stress today, and she knew that.

  I heard the door to the house open. I turned my head to see Jen stepping out and walking across the patio toward me.

  "I need to go, Natie," I said softly, trying to sound apologetic. "We'll talk again soon. Okay?"

  "Okay," she said in resignation. "I love you, big brother." I heard the apology beneath her words.

  "I love you too, shrimp," I said gently, letting her know I accepted.

  I ended the call just as Jen sat down on the chaise next to me. She leaned against me, but I needed more. I turned and scooped her up in my arms and settled her in my lap. I cuddled her close, needing her scent and her warmth to center me. I buried my face in her neck and breathed her in. This was the only thing holding me together, her love and the promise of our future. I prayed that when this was all over that it was still possible for us to have it all.

  My lips brushed her neck, my tongue darting out to taste her warm skin. She sighed in pleasure. "Ford," she murmured as her hands gripped my shirt. I kissed my way up toward her mouth, gliding my way over her soft flesh until I found her plush lips. I kissed her hard and savagely, giving in to the need that washed over me.

  I gave her everything, needing to let go and forget for a while. I owned this kiss. I claimed her with my lips, tongue, and teeth as blistering lust shot fire through my veins. I growled into her mewling mouth, losing myself in the love and lust we shared.

  When I finally pulled my lips from hers, we were both panting breathlessly. I pressed my forehead to Jen as we caught our breath together.

  Jen opened her mouth to speak, but I stopped her with a finger to her lips. Now was not the time for talking. We both needed something else right now.

  "I want you kneeling on the bed naked," I told her in a commanding rumble. "Now," I added in a low growl that brooked no argument.

  "Yes, sir," she replied softly as her eyes filled with understanding. I lifted her onto her feet and slapped her ass with a stinging blow as she hurried away. I watched her disappear back into the house.

  I closed my eyes and just breathed for a few moments, centering myself and letting the Dom in me push all other thoughts away. The only thing in my world that mattered right now was Jen. I rose and strode purposefully back into the house. I needed this badly, and so did Jen.

  I walked through the vaulted living room, glancing upwards to watch Jen through the railing upstairs as she went into the bedroom. I smiled wickedly as I imagined the surprise I brought for her. I couldn't wait to see her face when I showed it to her. I quickened my steps, hurrying across the dark hard wood floor through the white and royal blue nautically themed living room. I took the steps two at a time to the second floor, and hurried down the hall to pause in the bedroom doorway.

  I was just in time to watch Jen lower the zipper on the back of her skirt with her back toward me. She pushed the skirt down to expose the red lace thong that disappeared between her luscious ass cheeks. "Holy hell," I whispered in awe as I dug my nails into the door frame on each side of me. She never failed to take my breath away.

  Jen glanced back at me and smiled impishly. Then she slowly proceeded to ease the skirt down her legs, teasing and tantalizing me as she bent over to step out of it with her ass in the air. She straightened and turned, her fingers working on the buttons of her blouse as she bared her matching red lace bra to me. Her cleavage was astounding and mesmerizing, each breast firm and round and perfect, her bra pressing them together. I barely registered it as her shirt fluttered to the floor.

  "Naked. Now," I growled out desperately.

  Her eyes widened, and her pupils expanded. "Yes, sir," she breathed out, hastily pulling her bra and panties off.

  "Bed," I commanded as I pointed at it.

  She scrambled up onto the four-poster bed and knelt in the middle of the cream comforter without any prompting from me. Her hands were demurely clasped in her lap, and her head bowed. It was in stark contrast to her brazen nudity and what I had planned for her.

  "Close your eyes until I say you can open them," I commanded as I stalked further into the room.

  "Yes, sir."

  I went to my duffel bag that sat on the upholstered bench under the massive window that ran the length of the room and overlooked the lake. The view had nothing on the one in this room. I pulled open the zipper and pulled out the small canvas bag. I turned back to Jen and went to the foot of the bed. I pulled the contents out and laid it on the bed in front of my Jenny.

  "Open your eyes, honey," I murmured with soft affection.

  She opened her eyes and gasped when she saw what was in front of her. "How?" She looked up at me and smiled radiantly. She looked back down and ran her fingers over the coils of blue hemp rope. "When?" she looked up at me again with joy in her eyes.

  "Nick brought it this morning," I answered. "He hand-dyed another batch for me." I ran my knuckles down her cheek.

  "Oh." She leaned her face into my touch. "I wondered where you got the first set from."

  "I get all my rope from him." I straightened and gave her a stern expression. "Arms behind your back now."

  "Yes, sir," she replied as we both slipped back into our roles for play. I crawled up behind her and immediately set to work, binding her upper body with a chest harness and her forearms behind her back. I carefully lowered her backwards until her head was on one of the pillows. She gazed up at me with lust and love drunk eyes. Her complete trust in me was astounding, and beyond anything that I'd ever shared with another woman.

  I wrapped another rope just above her right knee several times. Then I wrapped it around the post at the head of the bed on that side. I pulled tension on the rope until her bent knee was pulled up and secured with her legs spread wide. I stared at her pussy longingly for a moment. I too
k another length of blue hemp and wrapped it above her other knee, then to mid calf, and finally around her ankle, before securing her left leg to the post at the foot of the bed. With one leg up and the other pulled straight down, I could penetrate her deeply. She'd feel every inch of me when I entered her.

  I stood at the foot of the bed and undressed for Jen. Her hooded eyes watched avidly as I bared myself to her. Holy hell, I loved the way she looked at me, like I was her everything, like she'd never get enough of me. I knew the feeling well myself.

  Once nude, I bent and began trailing soft teasing kisses up her left leg, from ankle to thigh, as I slowly crawled up onto the bed with her. When I reached her groin, I pressed my lips to the juncture of each thigh, then blew softly onto her wet folds to drive her wild with want and need. Her ropes creaked as she writhed, whimpering and whining desperately. I let her make all the noise she wanted. It sounded like music to me. Her pussy glistened and called to me, beckoning me closer. I breathed in her delectable scent.

  "Mmm, you smell so fucking good, honey," I whispered against her core.

  "Please, Ford. Please," she begged in a desperate tone.

  I didn't have it in me to torture us anymore. I drove my tongue into her, making her gasp in surprised pleasure. I burrowed my face closer and began licking and sucking with abandon, coaxing more wetness from her core and lapping it up with my tongue. The taste was so sweet and so fucking good. I groaned, the vibration making Jen moan and shudder all over. I licked up to her clit and pressed into it with firm circles, round and round and round, until Jen suddenly flew apart. She cried out as a burst of wetness coated my tongue and dribbled down my chin. It was so fucking good. I couldn't wait anymore. I needed to be inside her now.

  I rose up and wiped her juices from my face with a hand, then reached up and held it up to her face. "Open," I told her in a low growl. Her eyes lit up like blue fire as she parted her lips and sucked my fingers into her mouth, tasting her own arousal and letting out a deep moan that vibrated through my hand. Fuck, yes.