Road To Whatever (Perfect For Me Book 1)

by Blue Saffire

  ~B~

  “So you guys have been spending a lot of time together,” Mandy says suggestively as my aunt leaves to work on her blog.

  She and my uncle had talked about moving back home when I turned eighteen. Especially since Marcy our house keeper and Bo our driver still worked for us even after my parents’ death but I think they stuck around because I haven’t been coping so well. My aunt runs her own blog that serves her very well and my uncle has been standing in for my dad with the company to help keep things alive in case I ever decide I want to take over the business and to help keep things afloat around here as well.

  My parents left me a pretty nice nest egg but Uncle Trevor makes sure things run off the business and not my trust fund. I am grateful for all they have done for me. They may not understand me sometimes and try to push too hard for me to open up but they are just doing their best with what they have been given.

  They both would have loved for me to work for my dad’s company but I just can’t. I’m not ready for that. It would be too much for me. Working there would just sting in ways I am not ready for. Being in the band is one thing, just one step. I don’t think I will ever be ready for what Uncle Trevor wants. He has offered plenty of times to work with me on my music but I just can’t. It had been my thing with my daddy.

  “Who,” I reply absentmindedly. I know very well she means Rage. I had a feeling everyone was going to start to point it out more.

  “You and Rage silly. I know he said all that about you two building chemistry for the stage and all, but…I don’t know. Are you sure there isn’t more going on,” Mandy giggles as she wiggles her brows at me.

  “Your brother and I have a working relationship, nothing more,” I confirm.

  “Hmm…Nolan is a great guy when you get to know him just so you know,” Mandy replies thoughtfully.

  “Well…I’m not really looking for that right now and I think it would be a distraction from the band,” I lie. I was so ready to kiss Rage before she and my aunt interrupted. He smells amazing today. He always smells nice but he is doing something different that had me feeling like I was in an Axe commercial ready to wrap myself all around him.

  His breath was so warm against my skin and I just wanted to know what kissing him would be like. I know Rage is supposed to be a ladies man just like the other guys in the band but I’ve never seen him leave with any of the groupies from the club. He always leaves with me, making sure I get home safe.

  I won’t lie. I have had thoughts about whether or not I can trust Rage. Then I shake off the thought because he is not even interested in me in that way. I’m just another little sister and I need to remember to stay away from anything other than that. But he was going to kiss me right? My signals can’t be that off. I miss Linc. He would know the answer. I groan to myself because even if Linc was around. He would be the last person I would be able to ask anything about another guy.

  “I think you two would make a cute couple and we could be sisters like we always talked about,” Mandy beams.

  “Okay, now you are losing it. Rage is just a friend that I can use right now. Besides you know your brother better than I do and we both know I am not his type.” I frown at not being his type; there is really nothing I can do about that.

  “Hmm, you are not his type when it comes to groupies, but we are not talking about you taking up groupie status,” Mandy stops and her eyes light up. “I could totally ask him if he is interested. You guys could go on an official date.”

  “No,” I growl in exasperation.

  “An official date with who,” Rage asks as he reenters the kitchen.

  I glare at Mandy effectively letting her know I will kill her if she breathes a word. Rage looks between the two of us for an answer, narrowing his eyes at Mandy when I would not reply.

  “Nothing,” Mandy murmurs. “I was just trying to hook Kitty up but she is not interested. She is never interested.”

  “Mandy, my love life is private and I don’t need help. I have other things that are far more important right now. Like a rehearsal down in my basement at this very moment.”

  Rage is just standing there for a moment searching for something in my face, he nods when he comes to his conclusion. He grabs the things I sat out to be taken down for everyone to eat and we are off.

  CHAPTER Five

  I haven’t let Kitty out of my sight since I walked in on her and Mandy talking about her dating. When I’m not with her she is with Crush working on a song she says she is not ready to share with the rest of the band. I will not deny that I have a hard time swallowing the fact that she is writing a song with Crush and not me, but I am trying to understand that she and Crush had a connection when her parents were alive.

  I’ve wanted to peel back more layers but Kitty shuts down and changes the topic anytime she feels like we are coming close to muddy waters. I can tell she is trusting me more and more but I still don’t push. I see that is something she doesn’t like. She shares when she is ready.

  I have to admit I have been having a great time getting to know her more. She can drink the band under the table, but she doesn’t get trashed every time we are out. She is so smart. School has been taking up a lot of her time lately but I have been at her place whenever she is studying and writing papers. I did pretty well in school myself but it is like Kitty has taken on all the classes most college students would steer away from, at least as long as they could.

  Not Kitty, she is so aggressive with her education, I am not surprised she and Mandy are best friends. When they want something they go after it full steam. Like the band, it took her a while to figure things out but Kitty has fully committed to a band rehearsal schedule, mostly because we hold all rehearsals at her place now. It’s more than that though, she has written song after song and brought them to the band to see if we can add them to the set and we have worked through most of them.

  I would love to write with her but it just seems so intimate when it comes to making music with Kitty and I’m not sure my feelings will stay hidden if we go there. Hell I’m still trying to understand everything I feel for her before I make a fool of myself. Then there is still the fact that she is off limits because of the band.

  I have been finding more ways to get Mandy to be around when I am with Kitty. That has kept Mitch off my back, but I want more with Kitty. This past month has proven that to me. She has cried on my shoulder once. That dude Linc still won’t talk to her and she is torn up about it.

  I’ve wanted to do something for her that would take her mind off of him. I just haven’t put all the pieces together yet. I have been plotting to ask Mandy for help without really asking her. I’m hoping to get a chance tonight before Kitty decides she wants to leave.

  We finished a great set tonight and I know Kitty is only still here because Mandy begged her to hang out a little longer. She looks exhausted and I would have taken her home right after the set if she asked.

  “Hey Rage,” a voice purrs in my ear as I finish off another beer. I had been watching Kitty laugh at Mandy and Sleep. “You miss me?”

  I don’t have to see the face to know the voice or the name that belongs to it. I roll my eyes and turn to give Nancy a weak smile. Nancy is trouble, trouble that I once welcomed but I am not in the market for her type of trouble tonight.

  “Hey Nan,” I say tightly.

  “You guys were great tonight. Not sure why the new addition but she’s cool,” Nancy’s whiny voice is like nails on a chalkboard at this moment. I am not sure I like that comment about Kitty or the way she is looking at her.

  “Listen, I just want to relax a bit. I’ll talk to you another time,” I say as politely as I can. I notice Kitty is watching the two of us through her lashes. I am not comfortable with how close Nancy is.

  “Word is you haven’t been yourself lately Rage, I wanted to see if I can help,” Nancy purrs in my ear and flicks her tongue out against it.

  I notice Kitty’s eyes get wide as saucers and I know she�
�s seen what Nancy is doing. I pull away and pull Nancy’s hands off my arm and place them at her sides. I pull out some money to toss on the table and stand.

  “You ready Kitty,” I growl.

  “You can go without me,” Kitty shrugs looking between Nancy and me. “I don’t want to ruin your night.”

  “Babe, let’s go,” I rumble crooking my finger at Kitty.

  “Wait, wait, wait,” Mandy slurs, “Kitty, you didn’t tell me what you want to do for your birthday tomorrow.”

  “Shh,” Kitty hisses at Mandy.

  “It’s your birthday?” I ask. A little hurt that she didn’t tell me.

  “Wow, how did I forget that,” Crush groans looking down at his phone. “You guys can’t leave yet it’s not even midnight. We have to sing my girl happy birthday and shots are in order.”

  I shoot Crush a look when he calls Kitty his girl. It does not help that Nancy is still at my side rubbing against me like a cat. Kitty looks a little frustrated and I am not sure why.

  “Listen guys, I’m so tired right now. I just want to go home,” Kitty stands and begins to gather her things. She will not look in my direction now.

  “But we have to do something for your birthday,” Mandy whines.

  “Really,” Kitty whines back. “I’m not in the mood this year and … I’ll call you later okay? Listen Rage, you don’t have to see me home tonight. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”

  “Kitty, I am leaving with you,” I growl pushing pass Nancy and placing my hand on the small of Kitty’s back.

  I am pissed. She usually curls right into me when I touch her. Tonight she stiffens at my touch and starts to walk a little faster like she can’t wait to get away from me. I yank my car keys from my pocket and hand them to Kitty. She wraps her small hand around them making sure not to touch me.

  Once we are settled in the car I sit staring at the side of her face. She still looks frustrated, but somehow it brings a smile to my face. She so cute when she makes those little faces. I probably had too much to drink tonight and if I were thinking straight I’d make sure she gets home and I would sleep this off in the car, but I am not thinking straight. I never am when Kitty is around.

  “Babe,” I croon as she starts for her house.

  “Huh,” she answers.

  “Take me home first, okay,” I murmur. “Mandy or Crush can bring me to pick my car up tomorrow.”

  I have a plan. I want to spend Kitty’s birthday with her. I just have to make this work for me. Kitty just sighs taking the next turn to head to my place. I can see the wheels turning in Kitty’s head. I am beginning to know her as well as one of my siblings or one of my other band mates.

  “I want to bring your birthday in with you,” I say cautiously as we near my place.

  “Really… Rage it is not a big deal. I’m going to go home and get some sleep,” Kitty mumbles almost to herself.

  “Come on, I know you better than that. I have a bottle of tequila in the house. We can celebrate and have a shot for every reason your boy is a douche for not making up with you for your birthday,” I offer.

  Kitty’s gasp is audible as a tear slides down her cheek. “You don’t have to babysit me Rage. If you want to call that girl – .”

  I reach for her face to wipe away her tears. “I am right where I want to be Kelly. I left with you, now get your butt out of the car and come have a drink with me for your birthday. We have about five minutes to get inside.”

  “Okay,” she sniffles and smiles.

  Kitty walks ahead of me already knowing which key to use to get in my place. There has been a time or two when she has helped to get me in the house. I watch her hips sway from side to side in the too short miniskirt she has on. It hugs her hips in a way that makes me so jealous. She is wearing a blue corset to match her now blue streaks.

  In a perfect world I would press myself against her back while she unlocks the door. I’d splay my hand against her stomach as I sample her shoulder to see if it tastes as good as it looks. The itch in my hands that I can’t satisfy reminds me this world is not perfect at all, but I have to be close to her.

  I place a hand on her hip and let my breath brush her skin as I stand close and stare down at her. I feel her stiffen like earlier and I curse myself for forgetting something has changed tonight. I refuse to let it though; we’ve come too far in the last few weeks. I move closer to her as she fumbles with the lock.

  Sliding my hand over hers I whisper in her ear making sure my lips brush her skin. “Looks like you can use some help.”

  “Rage, you had a lot to drink already maybe this is not a good idea,” she says as she looks up at me biting her lip.

  I push her forward with one hand still on her waist. “We are getting hammered together Kitty so give it up, happy birthday babe.”

  “Fine, get the bottle,” she sighs putting her purse down and heading for my couch.

  I get two shot glasses and the tequila I promised. I had this bottle with Kitty in mind so tonight is the perfect night to put it to use. If I am lucky Crush won’t show up until hours from now if not tomorrow some time. I pour our first shots and hold one up.

  “Happy birthday Kelly, to friends that always put you first,” I croon.

  She throws back her shot with a wince, and then wipes one hand across her mouth and the other she uses to wipe at a stray tear. She gestures for me to fill her up again. I refill us both and she lifts her shot for another toast.

  “To new friends that see through you and also know just what to say,” she gives a tear filled smile before slamming back the shot.

  I drink to that, I will be whatever she needs me to be. All she has to do is ask. We continue like this until her tears turned into tears of laughter and joy. She is doubled over laughing when her phone chirps with a text. We both look across the room at her purse that is chirping.

  “Crap, I can’t feel my limbs,” Kitty giggles. “Nolan, please get my phone.” She says it so sweetly and bats her lush lashes at me. I love the way she calls my real name. She had me at Nolan.

  I crawl for her bag and retrieve the phone and crawl back to sit on the floor right next to her. She takes the phone from my hand and I place my head on her shoulder. My hair falls across my face and I brush it back allowing my fingers to brush her smooth skin as well.

  I’m almost ashamed to admit I have been letting my hair grow out more like Crush’s… almost. I see how close they are and this look that comes over Kitty’s face when she sees him. Chris and I could be twins, I figure every little thing counts.

  Kitty’s body tenses under my head, I’d had only let my eyes droop for a moment. They shoot open the moment I feel her tense and throw the phone down. She reaches for the bottle and pours another shot with a shaky hand. I pull the bottle from her hand and she raises the glass.

  “To crap best friends that don’t forget your birthday and just text you to tell you, ‘Happy Birthday Kit. Still need time,’” she slurs and throws the shot back.

  I turn to fully face her reaching to brush my fingers across her cheek. “It’s his loss, Kitty. I don’t know everything about what is going on between you two. You can tell me if you want but if you were mine I do anything to make you happy baby,” I reassure her.

  Kitty just stares at me looking a little startled. I hold her gaze as I run a finger across her full bottom lip. I know I’m crossing a line right now. Me and the guys take band rules very seriously. There will be consequences for me ignoring the hands off Kitty rule, but tonight I don’t care. Her eyes focus on my lips and I lean into her.

  I pause just before my lips meet hers making sure this is okay with her. Kitty lifts a shaky hand and curls her fingers in my hair pulling me to her. A smile tugs at my lips, I am about to kiss Kitty. At least I thought I was, Crush comes crashing in the door stumbling and Kitty jumps back dropping her hand from my hair.

  “Hey, more of my true friends this is a great birthday,” Kitty beams playing the whole thing off.

  “Hey
baby, what are you doing here,” Crush croons as he focuses his eyes on the room.

  I am already on my feet heading to the kitchen to run some cold water on my face. That was a close call. Kitty has no idea about the hands off rule but she just saved my butt. I am so frustrated though, I wanted that kiss so bad.

  “Rage is helping me have a great birthday that is jerk, best friend free. Well for the most part,” Kitty giggles. “Chris, I think I may have had too much to drink can you call me a cab.”

  “Sure sweetheart,” Crush laughs as he bends to kiss the top of her head then plops down on the couch she is sitting in front of. “By the way happy birthday officially, I wish I knew you guys were here I would have come home sooner.”

  “Hey, Kitty you’re leaving me already,” I call trying not to sound panicked. “That bottle is not empty yet.”

  “Rage, I really don’t think you want me here if I drink anymore,” she laughs.

  “I want you here and we’ll help you finish the bottle, but it has to be empty for your birthday wish that’s at the bottom,” I come up with.

  “I think I can manage to help a friend out,” Crush laughs.

  “Besides, it’s really late and you are pretty gone. You can sleep some of it off here,” I offer.

  “Birthday wish at the bottom you say,” she says with a wicked smile. “Okay, bottoms up boys.”

  I wake with my head pounding. I know we helped Kitty get to the bottom of the bottle last night but that is all I know as I start to regain consciousness. I groan from the feel of being hit by a truck. My body feels so heavy, that’s when it registers that some of the weight is another body in the bed with me.

  My eyelids are glued shut, my brain starts working overtime. Chris showed up and we fell into more laughs and shots. My phone rang; it was some girl wanting a late night hook up. I remember taking the call but … oh God I can’t be that stupid. Kitty was here with me.

  I feel the body snuggle closer and fingers run into my hair. This is not making sense. I try pushing at the fog again, nudging aside the extra thoughts. What did I do last night?