Ashley's mom, 10th week
Fathers are usually the first to discover that babies enjoy these pull-up games, then mothers will follow, although they tend to be slightly more enthusiastic with baby boys than with baby girls.
Some Things to Keep in Mind
Your baby will be more eager to learn when he is discovering a new world. He will learn faster, easier, and it will be more fun, if you give him the things that suit his personality
Very demanding babies will automatically get more attention, as their mothers strive to keep them amused and satisfied. These high-interest babies may become the best students of tomorrow if they are given the right help and encouragement in their early years.
Quiet babies are easily forgotten, because they don't demand as much attention from their mothers. Try to give a quiet baby just that little bit more encouragement and stimulation to get the best out of him
You may think that your infant should be able to be a little bit more independent now, because you notice the great pleasure he takes in his surroundings, his playthings, his own hands and feet, and because he enjoys lying flat on his back on the floor. You may start using the playpen for the first time at this stage. It's a good place to hang toys within easy reach of your baby's hands, allowing him to swipe at them or watch them swinging backward and forward You may also try to let your baby amuse himself for as long as possible, presenting him with new playthings when he gets bored With your help, your baby may be able to amuse himself for about 15 minutes at this age.
Top Games for This Wonder Week
These games and activities can be used when your baby enters the world of patterns. Before you start working your way down the list, look back at "How My Baby Explores the New World of Patterns" on page 68 to remind yourself of what your baby likes to do. And remember that the games that don't work for your baby right now may do later on when he's ready.
HANDS OR FEET, A FAVORITE TOY
Give your baby ample opportunity and room to watch his hands and feet. He will need freedom of movement to take in every detail. The best thing to do is to put him on a large towel or blanket. If it is warm enough, let him play without his clothes on, since he will really enjoy the freedom of his naked body. If you want, you can tie a colorful ribbon around his hand or foot as an added attraction. If you do this, however, be sure it is securely attached and watch the baby closely so that he does not accidentally choke on the ribbon should it come loose
COZY CHATS
When your baby is in a talking mood, sit down and make yourself comfortable. Making sure that you have enough support in your back, draw your knees up, and lie your baby on his back on your thighs. From this position he can see you properly, and you'll be able to follow all of his reactions. Chat to him about anything: his beauty, his soft skin, his eyes, the events of the day, or your plans for later. The most important thing is the rhythm of your voice and your facial expression. Be sure you give him enough time to respond. This means being patient, waiting, smiling, nodding at him so that he realizes it takes two to have a conversation. Watch your baby's reactions to discover what he finds interesting. Remember that a talking mouth, together with a face that shifts from one expression to another, is usually a smash hit!
THE GREAT INDOORS
At this age, an inquisitive baby is still unable to grab objects that catch his eye to take a closer look. Until he is able to do this himself, he will have to rely on you to bring interesting objects to him. Remember, there are many interesting things in the house that will arouse his curiosity. Explain to him what he sees. He will enjoy listening to the intonation in your voice. Let him touch and feel whatever he seems to like.
THE PULL-UP GAME
You can only play this game if your baby is able to lift his head on his own. Sit down and make yourself comfortable. Make sure that you have enough support in your back. Draw your knees up and put your baby on your legs and tummy so that he is virtually in a half-sitting position. He will feel more comfortable like this. Now, hold his arms and pull him up slowly, until he is sitting upright, giving him words of encouragement at the same time, such as telling him what a clever little boy he is. Watch his reactions carefully, and only continue if you're sure he is cooperating and enjoying himself.
TAKING A BATH TOGETHER
Water is a wonderful toy on its own. At this age, "water babies" in particular will enjoy watching water move. Place the baby on your stomach and show him drops and little streams of water running off your body onto his. Babies will also enjoy having small waves washed over their bodies. Lay him on his back on your stomach, and play "row, row, row your boat" together. Move back and forth slowly to the rhythm of the song, and make small waves. He will enjoy the feel of the waves running over his skin. After the freedom of the bath, he is likely to love being wrapped up snugly and securely in a warm towel and given a good cuddle!
A Word of Consolation: A Demanding Baby Could be Gifted
Some babies catch on to new games and toys quickly, soon growing tired of doing the same things, day in and day out. They want new challenges, continual action, complicated games, and lots of variety. It can be extremely exhausting for mothers of these "bubbly" babies, because they run out of imagination, and their infants scream if they are not presented with one new challenge after another.
It is a proven fact that many highly gifted children were demanding, discontented babies. They were usually happy only as long as they were offered new and exciting challenges.
A new awareness or new world will offer new opportunities to learn additional skills. Some babies will explore their new world and make discoveries with great enthusiasm, but they demand constant attention and help in doing this. They have an endless thirst for knowledge. Unfortunately, they discover their new world with tremendous speed. They try out and acquire almost every skill the new world has to offer, then experiment a little before growing bored again. For mothers of babies like this, there is little more they can do than to wait for the next big change to occur.
Top Toys for This Wonder Week
Here are some toys and things that babies like as they explore the world of patterns.
Playthings that dangle overhead
A moving or musical mobile
A musical box with moving figures
Playthings to swipe at or to touch
Cuddly toys to talk to or laugh at
Mommy—you still top the chart as his favorite toy!
"After every feeding, I put my son in the playpen for a while. I sometimes put him under a musical mobile that he likes to watch, and sometimes I put him under a trapeze with toys dangling from it, which he takes a swipe at every now and then. I must say, he's getting rather good at hitting them now."
Frankie's mom, 11th week
Around 10 weeks, another period of comparative ease sets in. Most mothers seem to put the concerns and anxieties of recent weeks quickly behind them. They sing their babies' praises and talk about them as if they had always been easygoing and cheerful babies.
What changes can you see in your baby at this stage? At approximately 10 weeks, your baby may no longer require as much attention as he did in the past. He is more independent. He is interested in his surroundings, in people, animals, and objects. It seems as if he suddenly understands and clearly recognizes a whole range of new things. His need to be with you constantly may also diminish at this time. If you pick him up, he may squirm and wriggle in discomfort and attempt to sit up in your arms as much as possible. The only time he may seem to need you now is when you are willing to show him things of interest. Your baby may have become so cheerful and busy amusing himself that life is much easier for you. You may feel a surge of energy. Lots of mothers regularly put babies of this age in their playpens, as they feel their children are ready for it now.
"My daughter suddenly seems much brighter. She's lost that newborn dependency. I'm not the only who's noticed. Everyone talks properly to her now, instead of making funny cooing noises."
Emily's mom, 10th week
"My baby seems wiser. She's become more friendly, happier, and even roars with laughter once in a while. Thank goodness she's stopped that incessant crying! Life has changed drastically from thinking 'How can I cope with her screaming?' to enjoying having her around now. Even her father looks forward to seeing her in the evening nowadays. He used to come home dragging his feet, dreading the probable torment of her non-stop crying. Now he loves being around her. He feeds and bathes her every evening."
Jenny's mom, 10th week
"My son no longer seems so vulnerable. I see a definite change in him now. He has progressed from just sitting on my lap to gaining a bit of independence and playing."
Steven's mom, 10th week
"I think my baby is really starting to develop into a real little person with a life of her own. At first, all she did was eat and sleep. Now she has a good stretch when I take her out of bed, just like grown-ups do."
Nina's mom, 10th week
"I don't know if there's any connection, but I certainly have noticed that I had a lot more energy this past week, and this coincided with my little boy's newfound independence. I must say I really enjoy watching the progress he's making. It's fascinating the way he laughs, enjoys himself, and plays. We seem to communicate better now. I can let my imagination run wild with his stuffed toys, sing him songs, and invent different games. Now that I'm getting some feedback from him, he's turning into a little friend. I find this age much easier than when he just nursed, cried, and slept."
Bob's mom, 10th week
Chapter 5
Wonder Week 12:
The World of Smooth
Transitions
Note: This leap into the perceptual world of "smooth transitions" is age-linked and predictable. It sets in motion the development of a whole range of skills and activities. However, the age at which these skills and activities appear for the first time varies greatly and depends on your baby's preferences, experimentation and physical development. For example, the ability to perceive smooth transitions emerges at about 12 weeks, and is a necessary precondition for "trying to sit up while helped by an adult," but this skill normally appears anywhere from 3 to 8 months. Skills and activities are mentioned in this chapter at the earliest possible age they might appear so you can watch for and recognize them. (They may be rudimentary at first.) This way you can respond to and facilitate your baby's development.
Around 11 or 12 weeks, your baby will enter yet another new world as he undergoes the third major developmental leap since his birth. You may recall that one of the significant physical developments that occurred at 8 weeks was your baby's ability to swipe and kick at objects with his arms and legs. These early flailing movements often looked comically puppetlike. At 12 weeks, this jerky action is about to change. Like Pinocchio, your baby is ready to change from a puppet into a real boy.
Of course, this transformation will not happen overnight, and when it does it will entail more than just physical movement, although that's usually what parents notice most. It will also affect your baby's ability to perceive with his other senses the way things change around him—such as a voice shifting from one register to another, the cat slinking across the floor, and the light in a room becoming dimmer as the sun dips behind the clouds. Your baby's world is becoming a more organized place as he discovers the constant, flowing changes around him.
The realization of these subtleties will enable your baby to enjoy life in new ways. But it's not easy entering a world that's shifting beneath your feet. Overnight, your baby's world has changed. Nothing seems to stand still anymore.
Keep in mind that if your baby is suddenly more fussy, he's probably getting ready to master new skills. Watch him closely during this exciting time.
In this changing world, the one constant is you, his boat on the rolling seas. Is it any wonder he wants to hang on to you for dear life as he enters this next major developmental leap in his life? Fortunately, this fussy period will not last quite as long as the previous one. Some babies will behave normally again after just a day, while others may need a whole week before they feel themselves again.
When a change happens, all babies will cry more often and for longer periods, although some will cry more than others. Some babies will be inconsolable, while others may be fretful, cranky, moody, or listless. One baby may be especially difficult at night, while another may tend to get upset during the day. All babies will usually be a little less tearful if they are carried around or if they are just given extra attention or cuddles. But even under these circumstances, anybody who knows the baby well will suspect that he will cry or fret again at the least opportunity.
How You Know It's Time to Grow
Here are the major signs that your baby is about to make this developmental leap.
He May Demand More Attention
Just when you thought that your baby had learned to amuse himself, he doesn't seem to do so well anymore. He may seem to want you to play with him more and keep him entertained all the time. Just sitting with him may not be enough; he may want you to look at him and talk to him, too. This change in his behavior will be all the more obvious if he had already shown you that he could be independent after the last leap forward. If anything, you may think that he's suffered a setback. You may feel that if your baby previously took three steps forward, here come the two steps back.
"My son is so terribly dependent on me right now. He is happy only if I hold him close. If he had his way, I think I'd be dancing around with him, too."
Bob's mom, 12th week
He May Become Shy with Strangers
Some babies will be shy with everyone except their moms at this time. If your baby is shy, you will notice that he clings to you whenever you have company. He may start to cry when a stranger talks to him or even looks at him. Sometimes, he may refuse to sit on anyone's lap but yours. If he is safely snuggled up to you, he may give someone else a reluctant smile, but if he is particularly shy, he will quickly bury his head in your shoulder afterward.
He May Cling to You More Tightly
Your baby may cling to you so tightly when you carry him that it seems as if he is afraid of being dropped. Babies who do this may sometimes even pinch their mothers very hard in the process.
He May Lose His Appetite
At this time, your baby may drag out each feeding session. Breastfed babies who are allowed to decide for themselves when they want to nurse behave as if they want to eat all day long. Bottle-fed babies take longer to finish their bottles, if they manage to get that far. These fractious drinkers spend their time chewing and gnawing at the nipples without actually drinking. They do this as a form of comfort and so they hang on for dear life, afraid to let go. Often, they will drift off to sleep with the nipples still in their mouths. Your baby may try to hold on to you or grab your breast during nursing, even if he is being bottle-fed, as if he is afraid of relinquishing his only source of comfort.
"When I'm bottle-feeding my daughter, she sticks her tiny hand inside my blouse. We call it 'bosoming.'"
Emily's mom, 12th week
He May Sleep Poorly
Your baby will probably sleep less well now. Many babies wake several times a night demanding to be fed. Other babies wake up very early in the morning. Still other babies refuse to take naps during the day. For many families, the normal routine has turned into absolute chaos because the baby's regular feeding and sleeping patterns have changed so drastically.
He May Suck His Thumb More Often
Your infant may now discover his thumb for the first time, or he may suck his thumb longer and more regularly than before. Like sucking at the breast or bottle, this is a comfort and can avert another crying session. Some mothers introduce a pacifier to help soothe the baby at this time.
He May Be Listless
Your baby may be quieter or seem less lively than usual. He may also lie still for quite some time, gazing around or just staring in front of him. Th
is is only a temporary event. His previous sounds and movements will soon be replaced by new ones.
"The only thing my baby likes doing right now is cuddling up close to me in her sling. She's very quiet and no trouble at all—she doesn't do much except sleep. To be honest, though, I'd much rather see her full of life."
Nina's mom, 12th week
How This Leap May Affect You
Obviously, your baby will not be the only one affected by the changes occurring within him. His whole family suffers too, especially his mother. Here are some of the feelings you may experience during this turbulent time.
My Diary
Signs My Baby Is Growing Again
Between 11 and 12 weeks, you may notice your baby showing any of the following behaviors. They are probably signs that she is ready to make the next leap, into the world of smooth transitions. Check off the signs your baby shows.
Cries more often
Wants you to keep him busy
Loses appetite
Is more shy with strangers
Clings more
Wants more physical contact during nursing
Sleeps poorly
Sucks his thumb, or does so more often than before
Is less lively
Is quieter, less vocal
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The Wonder Weeks Page 8
