The Wonder Weeks
Page 34
FAMILY AND FRIENDS
Grasps the difference between his family and that of his friends
Knows exactly who belongs to who
Wants to phone Grandma and Grandpa
Wants to visit Grandma and Grandpa
What I have noticed otherwise:_________
* * *
HOUSE, NEIGHBORHOOD AND FINDING THE WAY
He has a good idea of the lay of the land in his surroundings
Knows exactly where to find things in and around the house
Recognizes his own house and that of Grandma & Grandpa
Can point the way to the supermarket or the park
Recognizes things even if they are in a less familiar surrounding
What I have noticed otherwise:_________
* * *
OWNERSHIP
Knows perfectly well which clothes belong to whom when sorted out of the washing machine
Knows exactly which bag and jacket belongs to which kid
Knows exactly which toy belongs to whom and what is off limits
Wishes no longer to share his toys with other children
Collects things and insists they are not to be thrown away
Doesn’t like mess. Wants everything systematically put away
What I have noticed otherwise:__________
* * *
PUZZLES AND LITTLE THINGS
Is now good at doing puzzles. Puzzles consisting of 7, 12 or at the most 20 pieces
Motor skills are increasingly more refined
Finds the sewing kit interesting, or a vast assortment of buttons
Is a stickler for detail
What I have noticed otherwise:_________
* * *
MAKING UP HIS OWN GAMES
Makes up a game with its own rules
Makes up his own magic tricks
What I have noticed otherwise:__________
* * *
ART
Grasps that toys symbolize real world things or people
Starts drawing in a completely different way. Random scribbling makes way for circles, squares and the like
Draws horses, boats, planes, the dog, Grandma, Grandpa and himself
Likes it when you draw, too
Music lovers can listen to music for quite a long time
Likes playing the keyboard
Erects more buildings
What I have noticed otherwise:__________
* * *
SENSE OF TIME
Remembers past experiences
Predicts familiar, daily events and programs
Reminds you the whole day long of your promise to go to Grandma and Grandpa’s house
Makes plans; if you promise to do something and forget, he is upset and insulted
Remembers in the morning what we did the night before
What I have noticed otherwise:__________
* * *
BASIC PHYSICS
Holds a ball under water to watch it pop up
Is endlessly busy pouring his special mixture from one container to the next
Pays attention to colors
Found his first snow intimidating
Is frightened of the electric toothbrush
Is busy with basic phenomena of physics
What I have noticed otherwise:__________
* * *
BASIC ARCHITECTURE
Watches builders for hours
Imitates making cement by mixing sand and water
Imitates plastering walls
Lays down Lego train tracks
Tries building with Lego blocks
What I have noticed otherwise:__________
* * *
LANGUAGE
Understands most of what is said
If he’s exposed to different languages, he can distinguish between them and can ignore one
Produces more and more words
Sooner or later is able to combine words to form sentences
Imitates animal noises
Mimes a lot. Is able to communicate with gestures
Loves books. Listens attentively to short stories til the end
What I have noticed otherwise:__________
In the world of systems, your toddler will discover that she can choose her principles. She will discover herself, her family, her friends, her house, her neighborhood, her art and more. Give your toddler the opportunity to experience all sorts of systems. Just from her ingenuity, from seeing your reactions, and through much practice, she learns how the world of systems is made up.
Me and My Conscience
The conscience is a system of moral principles, of values, norms and rules. The development of a conscience is not to be taken for granted. Your toddler has to construct her conscience by using the examples she takes from you. You must demonstrate right and wrong. It takes time, much time, before your toddler has seen enough examples from which to draw conclusions. Hopefully, your actions have been consistent. If you say one thing one time and something else the other, then it will take your toddler much longer. The same applies if the signals you give her are confusing. She will have a hard time figuring it all out. From this age on, your little one tries to discover a system in everything, also in values, norms and rules. She craves rules and tests the boundaries. Just as she is entitled to her daily meals, likewise is she entitled to her daily portion of rules.
“She knows that the things on the top shelf of the closet are her brother’s. Now she climbs in the closet to grab and sneak something out. If she’s seen, she drops it and looks at you with a look of ‘How did that get there?’”
Victoria’s mom, 76th week, or 17 months
and a good week
“He tests us by doing what he’s not allowed.”
Harry’s mom, 77th week, or 17½ months
“He laughs when he surprises his father or me by suddenly doing something unexpected and expressly forbidden. He also laughs when we catch him.”
John’s mom, 79th week, or 18 months
“He imitates everything he sees on TV. For instance, he falls to the floor on purpose, and in one film, he saw children fighting. He observed this and hit himself.”
Thomas’ mom, 80th week, or a good 18 months
“I also noticed that he wouldn’t listen and his bad behavior. I’ve never seen him like this. He hit someone on the head for no reason and threw another to the ground by his shirt. It is very irritating and a couple of times I have gotten really angry. I keep explaining that it hurts if he does that. Maybe I talk to him too much, so that he only listens when he wants. It has no effect on him if I tell him he can not do something or I ask him to help with something. I figured out that I need to tell him that we can do this chore together. Like putting a bottle back where it belongs instead of just throwing it.”
Jim’s mom, 81st week, or 18½ months
“I noticed if he falls down, he doesn’t cry too quickly and takes his lumps well. But if he thinks that he is corrected unfairly, he is very hurt and confused. For instance, he bawled because he wasn’t allowed on the bed with his boots. I said it was fine because they were clean, but the nanny didn’t know and didn’t understand. I could tell from the way he cried that it really upset and hurt him, even though it wasn’t that big of a deal. I rarely hear him like that. I do hear the same cry after he has been staying with his father who tells him yes where I say no.”
Taylor’s mom, 81st week, or 18½ months
“We changed the routine for going to bed. She used to not go to bed until 10 and then she wanted to fall asleep on our lap first, and only then could we put her to bed. Last Saturday, we put her to bed at 8 o’clock, after she had been very tiresome. She yelled her lungs out for 45 minutes before she finally fell asleep. Since that night, she goes to bed between 8 and 8:30. We sing songs with her, her father talks with her a little bit more and then she falls asleep and sleeps through until 7 the next morning. Dad does have to put her to bed though.”
Jenny’s mom, 84th
week, or 19 months
“The latest fad is making things up. He finished playing a flight simulator game on the computer with his dad and told me that his dad didn’t do well and that he had crashed upon landing. This was not at all the case, as it turned out, but he said it on purpose. He likes that he can make things up. He laughs heartily when dad sets the record straight.”
Jim’s mom, 85th week, or 19½ months
“He is now able to ‘lie.’ For instance, he eats a cookie and his mouth is full of chocolate when the next round of cookies is handed out. When it’s his turn he puts his hand behind his back with cookie in hand and says that he hasn’t gotten one yet. If he is allowed to take another one, he laughs and then shows the one he already had in his hand.”
Thomas’ mom, 87th week, or 20 months
Me and My Notion of Self
The system with which your toddler most comes in contact is herself. That is what she gets to know first, and it has all sorts of consequences. Your toddler discovers that she is the owner of her own body and that she has control over her own body. She also discovers that she can make things happen, that she has her own will and can make her own decisions, and that she has power to influence. She thinks in terms of me, me, me.
Me and My body
“He is very interested in his ‘weenie.’ He plucks at it and rubs it wherever he can. I often let him walk around naked.”
Mark’s mom, 72nd week, or 16½ months
“It seems as if she has rediscovered her toes. She studies them bit by bit, for minutes at a time.”
Victoria’s mom, 73th week, or a good 16½ months
“She calls herself Mita. She gave herself that name.”
Victoria’s mom, 75th week, or 17 months
“Often he hits his head hard against the wall. It makes me feel ill. I would like him to stop. I think he does it to experience his notion of self.”
Kevin’s mom, 76th week, 17 months and a good week
“She cracked up at a silly doll in the supermarket.”
Maria’s mom, 81st week, or 18½ months
“She is obsessed with angels. I asked: ‘Is that you?’ ‘Yes,’ she said.”
Nina’s mom, 82nd week, or a good 18½ months
“No one is allowed to touch him. Not the doctor while weighing and measuring him, nor the hairdresser, even though she was a friend. Not even his Grandma while getting dressed.”
Matt’s mom, 82nd week, or a good 18½ months
“She also says: ‘Is me.’”
Hannah’s mom, 83rd week, or 19 months
“If anyone says to him: ‘Nice curls,’ he runs his hands through his hair like the star in the movie Grease.”
Thomas’ mom, 86th week, or approaching 20 months
“She is really busy with putting on and taking off her clothes. She even puts her slippers, her socks and pants on. She is also very vain. When she has on new clothes, she gets on our bed in front of the mirror to examine herself better. Once she insisted on putting on a dress when I tried to get her in pants. She loves getting her hair done at the hairdresser.”
Vera’s mom, 74th – 87th week, or 17-20 months
I Have Control Over My Body
“He walks the stairs erect taking big steps. Right foot on one step and the left foot on the next and so on.”
Bob’s mom, 72nd week, or 16½ months
“I already got angry once this week. She climbed up a dangerous flight of stairs after I had already forbidden it.”
Eve’s mom, 74th week, or 17 months
“He pulls himself up on a bar, swings back and forth a bit then drops to the ground laughing.”
Paul’s mom, 74th week, or 17 months
“He climbs on everything. Nothing is too much. He is careful however. He is aware of the dangers.”
James’ mom, 76th week, or approaching 17½ months
“She finds all kinds of ways to get to where she is not allowed. I have put certain things away and protected others. That is no use anymore. She finds a way to get to them. Even if she needs to drag over a chair or get a ladder.”
Victoria’s mom, 76th week, or approaching 17½ months
“She climbs like an acrobat. She climbs on me while holding my hands. She pushes off my stomach diving backwards.”
Laura’s mom, 80th week, or 18 months and a week
“He went down the plastic slide at MacDonald’s for the first time on his stomach.”
Steven’s mom, 81st week, or 18½ months
“She learned to somersault, slide down the slide by herself and climb back up by herself. She now gets in and out of bed by herself.”
Nora’s mom, 81st – 83 rd week, or 18½-19 months
“He likes to jump from high places if he thinks he can do it. When he can’t, he says ‘scary’ and sticks his arms out, which says: ‘It’s too high for me, can we do it together?’ He also likes to walk along little walls, practicing his balance. He enjoys it if the wall is about four feet tall. I act calm, but inside it scares me.”
Luke’s mom, 83rd – 86th week, or 19 to almost 20 months
“Since a month ago, the new thing is to try to make her fall while crossing the waterbed.”
Eve’s mom, 82nd week, or approaching 19 months
“She enjoyed shooting little blocks away with her mouth, it made her laugh. Running down the sand dunes and chasing after the dog on the beach was the best thing.”
Hannah’s mom, 86th – 88th week, or approximately 20 months
I Can Do It Myself
“She peels and eats an orange by herself, opens doors and can say her own name. She winds up her toy radio herself and goes around listening to it.”
Juliette’s mom, 72nd week, or 16½ months
“She grasps that she can use her potty to do her business. Twice she went and sat down with a diaper and relieved herself.”
Josie’s mom, 73rd week, or approaching 17 months
“She doesn’t want to sit in her highchair much anymore. She wants to sit in a normal chair at the dinner table. Also she doesn’t want to wear a bib and she wants to feed herself.”
Julia’s mom, 73rd – 75th week, or around 17 months
“This week he walked around with napkins. He used them as a bib or towel, but particularly as an oven glove. I mean, when he goes to pick something up, he puts it on top and then picks it up. He primarily did this in the kitchen with the grips on the drawers.”
Paul’s mom, 74th week, or 17 months
“Now he is busy with spatial aspects. Putting things in or under something is very interesting to him. It’s not so much that something fits somewhere, it’s more that he is the one putting things in and taking things out. He is more interested in researching his own potential, instead of the qualities of the things themselves. He now has a renewed urgency to look into the pans. Now it’s not about me showing him what we are eating and telling him what it’s called, but that he looks and identifies it himself. Playing with the bucket with the shape-sorting lid has taken on a new twist. It’s now about him putting the pieces in as he wants. He purposefully tries to ram the forms through the wrong holes. If he accidently puts one in the proper hole, he quickly pulls it out. He wants to put the pieces in as he sees fit, not according to the rules of the game.”
Frankie’s mom, 76th week, or approaching 17½ months
“This week he likes drawing. I think it’s because it’s something he does himself. He makess something by himself.”
John’s mom, 77th week, or 17½ months
“She makes drawings and then laughs about it herself.”
Maria’s mom, 77th week, or 17½ months
“These days he wants to feed himself dinner. That’s not without its problems, but in general, he does well. He imitates more and more. He cleans the floor with a sponge, he blows his nose with a handkerchief and vacuums with the vacuum cleaner attachment. He now knows exactly what things are for.”
James’ mom, 77th week, or 17½ months
> “If I ask, ‘Do you want mom to do it?’ she says: ‘No, Anna.’ Even if she has broken something and we ask who has done it, she says: ‘Anna.’ She is very conscious of herself. She laughs if she drops something or throws something on the ground.”
Anna’s mom, 77th week, or 17½ months
“This week he came walking up proudly with a full potty. I was just as proud as he. If he goes around without a diaper, he is indicating that he wants to use his potty or that he has used it before I even know. He waits to pee until he has the potty. He uses all his might to BM and every little bit must be done in the toilet. Endearing. Then he says ‘more.’ That means that he wants to use it again. When he’s all done he says ‘finished.’”
Mark’s mom, 78th -79th week, or approaching 18 months
“Now she releases her belt and climbs out of her chair herself.”
Ashley’s mom, 80th week, or 18 months and a week
“He can now function as an ‘errand boy’. He gets whatever is asked of him. He gets the remote control, the TV guide, the socks. He turns on the washing machine, ‘medium heat please.’ He gets the shoes. Gets the cleaning products. And if he and dad are playing the flight simulator on the computer, he follows his commands: ‘Gas!’ ‘Landing gear!’ ‘Eject!’. I am proud of my big little boy. He really gives it his all and does everything asked of him right away. But I feel for the poor child. He really gets put to work.”
Thomas’ mom, 80th week, or 18 months and a week
“She is an expert with the toy doctor’s instruments.”
Elisabeth’s mom, 81st week, or 18½ months
“She did her business on the potty. She says ‘poo-poo’ if she goes in her diaper, which means that she wants a clean diaper. Now and then she does her business on the toilet.”