Four Letters

by Lisa M. Harley

  Was it wrong? Yeah, probably. But when Lilly told me she was carrying my baby I couldn’t stop the events that were unraveling. I was in love with this bright, sunny woman and she was going to make me a father. The lines were blurred. I’d already given her an alias. And once again money buys all kinds of magical things. Telling her I was a pharmaceutical salesman explained away all the traveling. So it was easy for me to travel back and forth between Skye and Lilly.

  Was it hard work keeping everything straight? Your damn right it was.

  Was it worth it? Damn straight.

  I had no regrets for anything I did with Lilly. How could I? She was my wife and the mother of my children. Regret wasn’t an option.

  Well, if Lilly lit up my world then Lincoln and Abbi set it on fire. They were my children. My heart was rooted in those kids. Skye didn’t want to have children, truth be known she was a little too selfish for that. I needed Lilly to be my wife and have my babies, and she needed stability. We gave each other what we needed.

  And last but not least, Adlee. If Lilly wasn’t planned then Adlee wasn’t even a blip on the radar. She snuck up on me way too fast. Needing a break from the chaos that my life had become, I decided to drive the distance between Lilly and Skye and spend some time at my home in Missouri. I thought the drive would clear my head. I needed time to think about what I was doing and how bad I was screwing everything up. I had no idea that drive would add another thing to my life for me to fuck up.

  I stopped off in this little diner to grab a bite to eat. I was wearing some old jeans, a t-shirt and a baseball cap. I looked like a good ole boy. Sure hadn’t ever been accused of being one of those before. I watched as a man kept flirting with the waitress. He was rubbing his hands up her thigh and squeezing her ass every time she turned around. The waitress looked so young and there were a couple times when I saw the fear in her face when he touched her. Then I overhead the conversation between this bastard and the other cretins at the table. They were talking about how they’d all had her. They’d shared her on more than one occasion and the man they called Paul claimed to be her boyfriend. She lived with him.

  I couldn’t stand it. I couldn’t leave this poor girl here to be ravaged by these scumbags. I kept a close eye on her for a week. I watched him kiss her and put his hands on her and I could see her cringe. Why was she letting him do those things to her? I could tell she was damaged. She obviously didn’t think very highly of herself or she wouldn’t let this continue to happen.

  By the time I introduced myself to her, I’d created a whole new identity. I was Tanner an over the road trucker who was just driving through. When I pulled Adlee out of that diner that night I hadn’t planned on any of this. I knew she needed to be saved and I did it. Falling in love with her was not part of the plan. I took her to the old farmhouse my grandparents had owned back in the day. We worked to fix it up and eventually we were in love and getting married.

  So, here I was married to three amazing women. I couldn’t leave any of them. Like my dad, I loved them all differently.

  I loved them for who they were and they loved me for who they thought I was. They needed me and I was there for them. They all loved me and I did everything in my power to stay true to their love. If they’d known the kind of man I really was they would’ve left me years ago. If they’d known that I had wives in three states they probably wouldn’t have let me save them.

  What a sick bastard am I?

  But no matter what I loved them all. I loved my kids. I loved my life or lives, just the way they were. Well, the way they were before everything changed.

  The thought of taking a life had never occurred to me. I’d done some pretty awful fucking things in my life, but I never killed anyone. I didn’t think I was capable of it. Little did I know how capable of murder I was.

  Adlee had been getting hang up calls at the shop some and then we started getting them at home. It took me a bit to figure out what was going on. Checking into Paul’s whereabouts I found out that he had moved and left everything behind. He was on a manhunt, or more like a woman hunt. He was trying to find Adlee.

  While I was in Maui with Skye I got a call from my contact and he informed me that Paul was getting closer. He was only two towns away. He was so close to getting to her. He was on his way to her and I couldn’t allow it. She’d been through so much at the hand of that man. I couldn’t stand to see him ruin her again. She was finally happy and feeling like a real person. He was on his way to ruin that.

  I had to kill him.

  He was not the type of guy that would ever go away. That slimy cretin would keep looking until he found her. He knew what town she was in…he knew about the shop…and there was no doubt in my mind that he was on his way to either take her and hurt her again or to kill her. I knew he was planning on one or the other. I wouldn’t let him touch her again. That bastard ruined my life…he completely fucking destroyed it.

  ***

  The Goodbye

  I’d been sitting in the dingy little airport café reminiscing and thinking about the horrible fucking mess I’d made of my so-called life all morning. Arrangements had been made for me to fly away to a faraway island whose government didn’t believe in extradition laws. I’d been patiently, or not so patiently, waiting in this horribly decorated cafe’ for my private plane to arrive. The place was decorated with an ungodly hideous island theme. Huge flowers and bright colors were everywhere you looked. It was enough to make you nauseous.

  While I was sitting there thinking it hit me that the best way to say goodbye to my wives was to send them a letter. A letter that told them how I felt about them and didn’t really give any details about what I’d done.

  Knowing the whole truth about me would do nothing, but hurt them more. I couldn’t stand that. I was causing them enough pain just by leaving them. I didn’t need to point out all of the horrible things I’d done and secrets I’d kept hidden for all those years.

  I would actually need to write four letters. I couldn’t leave without telling Becca goodbye. She always stood by me. No matter what stupid shit I did, she was always there for me. She knew I was an idiot, but she was still my best friend.

  ***

  Becca,

  I’ve been sitting here today reminiscing and realizing how right you were. The whole time. You knew what a horrible mess I was getting into. You know the whole story. You’re the only person who knows it all. I can’t believe that we’re still friends, after everything I’ve done.

  You have to know I never meant for any of this to happen. My god, I never meant for anyone to get hurt.

  If anyone would’ve told me ten years ago that I’d have done what I just did, I would’ve called them a fool. I would’ve told them they were crazy and obviously didn’t know me at all, but you know what? Shit happens. Life Happens. Things happen that are beyond our control. You either roll with the punches or get punched. I did what I thought was right, what I thought needed to be done, what I thought I was meant to do.

  I’m on my way out of town. I have to leave before anyone finds out what I did. When they find out what happened, I’ll go to jail. I just can’t have that. You know me better than anyone and you know that I wouldn’t last ten minutes in prison. That life just isn’t for me.

  I’ve written goodbye letters to each of my wives and I’m sending them to you. I know that you’ll make sure they get delivered to them.

  I couldn’t leave without telling you goodbye. I know you’ll understand that I did all of this for love. From the moment I saw your big brown eyes in kindergarten I knew that you were the love of my life. You were the first girl I ever loved and I wish that things didn’t have to end like this. I wish I’d handled everything differently. But it’s too late to make wishes. What’s done is done and now I have to leave. Being friends with you has helped me get through some of this crazy chaos and for you I will always be thankful. Thanks for everything my dear friend.

  Love always,

  Daniel
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  ***

  When I finished writing the other three letters, I placed them in envelopes addressed to my wives. Then I placed all of the letters in a large envelope and addressed it to Becca.

  “I’ll need you to deliver these as soon as possible.” I gave the instructions to the kid the courier sent over to pick up the package. I slipped a hundred dollar bill in his palm and stared him down. Sternly I said, “This package is beyond important. Deliver it now and don’t fuck it up.”

  He nodded, stuck the large envelope under his arm, and headed out of the airport.

  “Can I get ya somethin’ else to drink, sir?” The pretty little waitress asked with a shy little smile on her face.

  “I’m doing just fine. My plane should be here anytime then I’ll be getting out of your hair.”

  She tossed her long brunette locks over her shoulder and bit her lip before she said, “You haven’t been a bother at all, sir. Not at all.”

  While she walked she shook her little ass back and forth all the way to the bar. Something toward the end of the bar caught my eye and drew my stare from the ass swaying in front of my face.

  Glancing over I saw the most amazing head of red hair I’d ever laid eyes on. When the woman turned around, she was absolutely stunning. The uniform she was wearing told me she worked for an airline. I assumed she was waiting for her flight to take off also. When her eyes caught mine she looked up at me through her long eyelashes. Her little pink tongue darted out of her mouth, she licked her lips, and then she shot me a sexy little grin. I was lost to her. I had to meet her.

  Before I knew what was happening I had walked over to the bar and was sitting on the stool beside her.

  In true Daniel fashion, I said, “Hi, my name is Jamison Talbot, can I buy you a drink?”

  Skye’s Letter

  My darling Skye,

  It pains me more than you’ll ever know to sit down and write these words to you. Skye, you were my first real love. The first woman who ever made me want to be a better person. The first person to love me back unconditionally. In all of my years, I’d never met anyone like you, and I’ve never met anyone else like you since. To say you are one of a kind wouldn’t even start to explain the amazing woman you are. Please, don’t let anyone ever take that away from you. Remember that you are so much more than just your father’s daughter or my wife. You are Skye. You are beautiful and smart. The woman who made my days beautiful and my nights magical.

  The time we spent together was so special to me. At a time in my life when I had nothing, you made me feel like I had everything. The first time I ever laid eyes on you you took my breath away, and I’ve been working to get it back ever since. Those amazing eyes of yours drew me into your web. When you made that comment about getting to know each other, I was sure I would embarrass myself like some horny teenager, coming down the front of my pants. I’d never wanted anyone as much as I wanted you. Our first kiss in the stairwell was my best first kiss. You let me in that night, in more ways than one. You started to open your heart and for that I will always be grateful.

  When I asked your father for your hand in marriage, he told me that I was perfect for you. I asked him why he felt that way and he told me that I had the means to support you, the strength to control you, and the heart to comfort you. What your father didn’t know was that I only had all of those things because of you. You made me stronger and when I was with you I felt truly loved. You did all of that for me, Skye. This may sound corny, but we really did complete each other.

  One of the happiest moments of my life was when you finally admitted to me that you were in love with me. I know how hard it was for you to say those three words to me, and I’ll never forget the way your beautiful face looked when they escaped your lips. I wanted to live in that moment forever, but things change, baby. Circumstances have arisen and changed the course of my life. I’ve done something, something for which I can’t take back. I have to leave and I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to come home. Please always remember my love for you, Skye. No matter what happens, no matter what you hear about me, never forget that I love you and that will never change.

  The balance on the penthouse, the cars, and the line of credit has been taken care of. You’ll notice a sizable sum has been transferred into your personal account. There should be enough there for you to live comfortably for the rest of your life. You won’t need to ask your dad for money ever again. Do what you love, Skye. Continue your work at the gallery. You’re doing great things and more importantly things that make you happy. That’s all I want - for you to be happy. Please do whatever brings you happiness for the rest of your days. Don’t cry for me…you’ll find someone much better than me to move on with.

  My love always,

  Sterling

  Skye

  Five Years Later

  “Skye’s the Limit, how may I help you today?” Lori’s assistant, Bianca, answered the phone. Since the gallery had expanded and we now had locations in London, Paris, and LA, Lori had moved from my assistant to my Vice President of Marketing. With her looks, she was perfect for the role. And it didn’t hurt that she had a pretty big brain to go with the rest of her package. That was the only way she survived her modeling career unscathed.

  “I’m sorry, Ms. Buchanan is not available right now. May I take a message?” Bianca asked the caller.

  Since the last fluff piece was published about me in the Times, I’d been receiving all kinds of interesting propositions. I had one gentleman who hired a singing telegram company to visit the gallery, and sing a lovely little ditty about how he would love to go out with me. Um, no not going to happen.

  Another man sent me one hundred dozen white roses. Yes, one hundred dozen. They were everywhere. The entire gallery was full of roses. When I walked into my office I immediately started sneezing and had to have them removed. Employees stood downstairs and handed out roses to every woman who walked by.

  Yet another man showed up at my office in nothing but a trench coat. Needless to say, he has spent the better part of a month recuperating in a mental hospital upstate.

  When Sterling left me all alone in that Villa I was livid. If I’d been able to find him I would’ve killed him. Seriously, would’ve killed him. Oh, his letter was sweet all right. But he was nothing, but a lying bastard. Obviously, he was cheating on me, and found someone who he thought was better. Whatever his reason was after the initial anger and thoughts of homicide wore off, I realized I was better off without him. All Sterling ended up to be was a memory. Not exactly a bad one either. We had some really good times. I spent ten years of my life with him, so he had to hold a somewhat special place in my heart, right?

  Walking into my office I found Tiff curled up in her bed beside my desk.

  “How’s my girl today, Tiff?”

  She looked up at me and then snuggled back down into her warm fluffy bed. Oh, the life of an old dog.

  Over the intercom on my phone I heard, “Ms. Buchanan, there is a call on line one for you. I believe it’s Mr. Coreon.”

  “I’ll take it. Thanks, Bianca.”

  Mr. Coreon was actually Marco Coreon. I guess you could call him my boyfriend. It seems odd to refer to him that way, since he is about twenty years older than me.

  Marco is an icon in the fashion industry. His designs have graced runways in Milan, Paris, and anywhere else you could imagine. He’s been hailed as the best male designer to hit New York City since the 80’s. We’ve been seeing each other for a little over a year. He is a very handsome, charismatic man. Marco has the stamina of a man half his age and he definitely knows his way around a woman. All those years of designing clothes to perfectly fit a woman’s body did wonders for his sexual abilities.

  I was introduced to Marco by Lori. She knew I hadn’t been with anyone since Sterling and she was worried about me. Marco was a perfect match for me, and we were having a lot of fun together.

  “Yes, Mr. Coreon? What can I do for you today?” I asked.


  “Drop to your knees, take my cock in your mouth, and suck me until I explode in your mouth. Then after you’ve swallowed all I have to offer, I’ll lay you on your back and fuck you until you come for me, repeatedly.”

  My heart was racing, my breaths had sped up and my palms were sweating. I wanted him so much. Too much.

  “Why don’t you come over here and show me that you mean it?” I teased.

  “Why don’t you look up?”

  When I looked up, there standing in the doorway was my tall, strong, handsome boyfriend. His salt and pepper hair was perfectly styled. The jeans he wore hung low on his hips and his black t-shirt was pulled taut across his chest. The black leather jacket he had slung over his shoulder and black biker boots he was wearing told me he’d ridden over here to see me. He loved to take his Ducati out and come visit me. Truth be known it was rather exhilarating to ride it with him. And the first time he fucked me on it was a memory I would never forget.

  Standing up, I slowly walked over to him and when I reached him I ran my hand along his strong chest. Throwing his jacket onto the couch, he shut the door behind me and locked it.

  “I thought we had plans?” he asked.

  “What plans?”

  “Something about dropping to your knees and sucking me off, if I recall correctly,” he snickered.

  I ran my finger along his jaw and then slid it into his mouth. He bit down on it and I moaned. Then I fell to my knees, unzipped his pants, and did exactly what he had told me to do.

  After he fucked me hard on the floor in my office I noticed it was already dark outside. “How long were we in here,” I asked as I sat up and started to button my blouse.

  “Awhile,” he smiled. Then he sat up beside me and put his arm around me. “Skye, we need to talk.”

  “Not again, Marco. Don’t do this.”