Four Letters

by Lisa M. Harley

  “I can’t change the way I feel about you, Skye. I love you.”

  “I know you do, Marco. But I…”

  “But you what, Skye? You had a bad marriage. Fuck that. I’ve had three of those.”

  “Not a ringing endorsement there, babe,” I laughed.

  “Shut up. You know what I’m trying to say. We all have bad shit in our pasts. Don’t let one asshole ruin it for me. I want to marry you, Skye Buchanan. And spend the rest of our days not having babies and enjoying each other. You can spend all of my money you want and I will even design you an amazing wedding dress. Come on, what do you say?”

  “No.”

  Marco started to stand up and I caught him by the arm and pulled him back down toward me. “No, you can’t design my wedding dress. It’s bad luck for you to see it before the wedding, and like hell if we need to start off our marriage with bad luck.”

  The smile on his face traveled up to his eyes and they were shining with happiness. “Really? You’ll marry me?”

  Placing my hands on either side of his face, I pulled him down closer to me. “Marco, I love you.”

  Jumping up off of the floor, Marco picked me up and swung me around and around.

  “You love me! Thank holy mother of god, you finally admitted it.”

  “If you don’t put me down, I’m going to take it back.”

  “Like hell you will, Skye Buchanan. You love me and we are getting married. Fourth time’s a charm, right?”

  “You are so damn funny, Marco. Let me just tell you now, if you ever want to leave me be fucking man enough to tell me so. Don’t write me a letter and then a couple weeks later send me signed divorce papers. I will fucking kill you before I let that happen to me again.”

  “Yes, ma’am. I will not leave you with a letter, unless I want to die. Got it.”

  “Good. Now would you do me a tiny favor?”

  “Anything, baby. Anything for my future wife.”

  “Will you take me home and tie me to the bed and do naughty things to me.” I bit my lip and then ran my tongue over it seductively. Marco pushed me back down to the floor and thrust into me.

  “The floor works fine for me, babe.”

  ***

  Sterling leaving me pissed me off more than anything. Sure, I was hurt, but more than anything I wanted to kick his ass. I still do actually. Someday I will find him and do just that. But if I could say one thing to Sterling it would be this: You’re an asshole. I hope you rot in hell. (Sorry, I’m not real big on hearts and flowers. I really just want him to pay for what he did to me.)

  Lilly’s Letter

  My dearest Lilly,

  You have no idea how much it is killing me to write this letter to you. The thought of not being there for you and the kids is breaking my heart, but it can’t be helped. Lilly, you are the light of my life. The happiness you brought into my world was more than I ever thought imaginable. The sound of your laugh has carried me through so many bad days. Being a father was something that I never dreamed would happen, but you blessed me with two amazing children that deserve so much better than me. My goal was to be a better father than my father was to me, but I see now that I’ve failed miserably.

  When I saw you in the park that day, I just knew. I had to know you. I needed to be a part of your life. There was just something about you. I still can’t really put my finger on it. You’re just you, Lilly.

  You gave me my best first date that turned into my best first time with someone. We both knew that the other didn’t normally do things like that. As a matter of fact, I never did one night stands. I told you that night if we spent the night together I wouldn’t go away, and I didn’t.

  Getting married by the shifty fat Elvis in Vegas was your idea not mine, but it couldn’t have been any more perfect for us. That was not something I ever would’ve done in a million years, but you wanted it and I had to make it happen for you. That’s what I tried to do for you, make all your dreams come true, and in the process you did the same for me.

  When you told me you were pregnant I thought I would be scared to death, but I wasn’t. You were so happy that I had to be happy too. Seeing how excited you were to be having my baby meant everything to me. I never realized I wanted kids, but you did. You knew that deep down that was my dream too, and you fulfilled it. Lincoln and Abbi are perfect - thank you for them. I can never thank you enough for them - for making me a dad.

  Something has happened. I’m not proud of it, but I can’t take it back. What’s done is done. It has ruined my life forever, but I will not let it hurt you and the kids. To keep that from happening, I have to leave.

  The house and the cars have been paid off and accounts created for the kids. There should be enough money in there to cover their tuition to private school and for them to attend the college of their choice. You’ll find enough money in our checking account for you to live comfortably for the rest of your life. Don’t ask where the money came from, Lilly. I’ve kept so many secrets from you and for that I am sorry.

  I love you Lilly. I’ve loved you since the moment I laid eyes on you in that park reading your book and trying to pretend that you weren’t staring at me. Thank you for always bringing a smile to my face. Take care of our babies and don’t forget to take care of yourself. Use some of that money to pamper yourself. Take Morgan on a girl’s weekend and get really drunk, get a massage, and forget about me and all of the pain I’ve caused you.

  My love always,

  Asher

  Lilly

  Five Years Later

  “Today we are going to learn all about the letter “B”. I want everyone to get a partner and come sit down on the alphabet circle.” The alphabet circle could also be called the circle of carpet remnant squares at the front of the room. It was a trick I’d learned from a friend of mine who taught kindergarten for over twenty years. It was a great learning tool, and the kids really enjoyed it.

  I’d missed teaching so much. It was great to be back at work again. Andrews Elementary had missed me, and I had missed it. When Asher left it set my world into a tailspin. Never had it entered my mind that my husband would cheat on me. Of course I’d never dreamed that I would be left alone to raise two children. I thought Asher was my Mr. Right, but I’d obviously never been more wrong.

  When he left he made sure that I would never have to worry about money again, but he left me with a million other concerns.

  Where was he?

  Why did he leave us?

  Did he ever really love me?

  Did he love the kids?

  What happened to cause everything to change?

  These were all questions that I would never have an answer to. Five years after he left me by sending me a letter, I hadn’t heard another word from him. Shortly after I received the letter I got another delivery which included signed divorce papers. That was it. My marriage was officially over.

  Lincoln and Abbi took it really hard at first. That was all that mattered to me. It wasn’t me that I was worried about. It was my kids that I was concerned about. Asher could kiss my ass. My kids deserved better than that. Better than him.

  “Mrs. Marks, can I go to the potty now?” Cailei asked with a look that said I better let her go soon.

  “Of course, you can go sweetie. Grab a buddy and here’s the key. Come right back,” I responded.

  Mrs. Marks, that’s my name now. When Asher first left I had no plans of ever dating again, let alone getting married. Until the day about a year ago when Morgan brought me my very own real live rock star.

  Davis Marks was the lead singer in the band that Morgan’s husband, Kash was in. He was so damn sexy and the minute I met him my lady parts decided they were completely over what’s his name who broke their heart.

  Morgan thought that she would introduce me to Davis and hopefully I would have a weekend of hot sex and then go back to my suburban ways. Well, it didn’t quite work out that way. We did spend the weekend together, but we didn’t have sex. We talk
ed. We talked about everything. Davis was actually a really smart guy. He had his Master’s Degree in Business and managed the band. When I went to Morgan’s on Sunday to pick up the kids and explained to her how the weekend had went she was, needless to say, a little pissed. She didn’t want me to talk all weekend. She wanted me to work Asher out of my system with some amazing rock star lovin’.

  Davis and I started talking on the phone a lot and emailing back and forth. When his band got their tour break last fall he came and stayed with Kash and Morgan. He took me out on several dates before he even tried to kiss me. My rock star was quite the gentlemen.

  Finally, after we’d spent the evening with the kids visiting a haunted house and trick-or-treating, he pulled me toward him and placed a soft kiss on my cheek. The kids were at the door of one of our neighbors begging for candy, so I grabbed his face in my hands and planted a big wet kiss on him. It totally shocked him, but that was short lived. He leaned down and whispered in my ear, “We need a sitter. Tonight. I’ll call Kash.”

  After that night we were inseparable. If he was in town he was with me and a couple times I’d even gone to shows with Morgan. Davis was amazing on stage. The way his voice echoed through the stadium’s he played, made my panties melt.

  It didn’t take me long to realize that Asher had never really been my Mr. Right. He was just my practice for the real thing.

  Davis and I have been married for three months. We moved into an old colonial home that we planned to renovate and modernize a little. It just happened to be right next door to Morgan and Kash’s house.

  As soon as their tour break this fall gets here we are taking the kids on a big vacation. Oh, I almost forgot to mention this. The kids have done so amazingly well. They are as in love with Davis as I am. They never mention Asher anymore. At first it was really hard on them, because he basically just disappeared. But after about a year, we realized we didn’t really miss him that much anymore. When he was “here” he was always leaving us for work trips, so him being gone all the time really wasn’t that much of a departure from our norm.

  Davis has a teenage daughter from a previous relationship - Paige. She just turned fourteen and she and Lincoln go to the same high school. Abbi will be going there in a couple years. Our families blended perfectly and I couldn’t be happier to be married to my Mr. Right. Davis Marks is my future.

  ***

  If I could say one thing to Asher Brown it would be this: Thank you for giving me two perfect children. They inherited only the good parts of you and me. Thank you for showing me that I deserved better than you, and that I deserved to have my happily ever after. Oh, and one more thing, thank you for leaving me. Your actions that day led me to my future. To my Mr. Right.

  Adlee’s Letter

  My sweet Adlee,

  It is killing me to write this letter to you. The thought of adding more pain to your life, even a drop, is tearing me up inside. After all of the pain you’ve survived in your life, you shouldn’t have to go through this. I’m sorry.

  I’ve done something that is going to change our lives. I did what had to be done, and for that I cannot be sorry. You are safe now, sweetheart. He will never hurt you again. Please know that everything I’ve done, I did because of my love for you.

  Since the moment I first saw you working in that diner, I knew something wasn’t right. I knew that the way he looked at you, was just wrong. There was more there than just a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship. I watched you for a week. My radar was up and I couldn’t quit thinking about you. I knew you needed to be saved. I should’ve left that to someone else, but the way he had shared you with those other men made me sick. The way they looked at you, told the whole story and I couldn’t let it ever happen again.

  I had to save you, Adlee. I understand now that I went about it all wrong. There were other ways I could’ve done it, but like everything else in my life, I screwed it up. I fell in love with you. I should’ve taken you to safety, gave you some money, and took off. Taking you to my house was a mistake. I can see that now. I took too much of your life away, but I hope when you look back at our time together you only remember the good times.

  My only hope is that somehow I helped you more than I hurt you. Leaving you was never my plan. I didn’t know this would happen, Adlee. I swear to God I didn’t know. That monster will never hurt you again. You finally have your freedom. You are free from him forever.

  The deed to the shop is in your name, the house is paid for and ownership transferred to you, also you’ll find enough money in the checking account to support you for the rest of your life. I know you, stop worrying about where the money came from, just enjoy it. Adlee, go out and be young and carefree. You deserve that and I’m sorry that I took that away from you. And for that I’m really no better than Paul.

  Please know that every moment we spent together meant the world to me. You made me want to be a better man, but no matter how hard I tried, I could never be the man you deserved. I worked so hard to prove to you that I was a good man and that was wrong of me. I’m not a good man, Adlee. The issues I have are never going to go away, so the only thing for me to do is leave.

  My love for you will never go away, please continue to grow and strive, knowing that you are safe.

  My love always,

  Tanner

  Adlee

  Five Years Later

  “Sweetie, you’ve been workin’ like a dog all damn day. Let me take my wife home and spoil her a little bit. I’ll make you some homemade mac and cheese. I know that’s your favorite,” Briar said as he tucked a stray curl that had fallen from my bun, behind my ear.

  “As amazing as that sounds, you know that I have some stuff to finish up here before I go home for the night.” I was sweeping up the last of the hair from under the chairs in the shop. Adlee’s Cut and Curl was doing great. I’d even brought in another beautician to help me out a couple days a week.

  When Tanner left life was rough. Things were always harder when he was away. I had to survive. I knew what he had done, by the letter he sent me. It didn’t take much for me to figure out that Paul was dead. It’s been five years since everything happened and I’ve not heard a word about his body being found. I don’t know what Tanner did with it, but he hid it really well.

  Tanner leaving me broke my heart. He was my husband and the only man who had never treated me like a piece of property. Right after he left I got a package in the mail with our divorce papers in it. I signed them and sent them back and that was that. We were officially divorced.

  The first year after he left I barely left the house. I quit going into the shop and actually shut it down for several months. I couldn’t face anyone. This was a really small town and everyone knew that Tanner had left me. It wasn’t that I was embarrassed, I just didn’t want to witness all of the sympathizing looks that I was bound to receive from all of my regulars.

  One day I was sitting on the front porch crying a river, when I saw a truck coming up the drive. Crazy me jumped up and ran toward it thinking it was Tanner coming home. It was not.

  I watched as a really tall muscular man jumped out of the truck and tipped his black Stetson at me.

  “Evenin’ ma’am,” he drawled.

  “Um, evenin’,” I replied cautiously.

  “I was told by some of my buddies in town that you own this acreage ‘round here. Is that a fact?”

  “Yeah, I guess so. But I’m not in the market to sell it.”

  “Sorry, ma’am. I ain’t in the market for buyin’ either, but I would love to hunt some turkey on your property. With your permission of course.” He smiled at me and then pulled his hands out of the pockets of his tight black Wranglers, slipped off his hat, and ran his hands through his shaggy blonde hair. “It’s mighty hot out here today.” He wiped the sweat from his brow.

  “Could I get you a glass of iced tea?”

  “That would be awful nice of ya, ma’am.”

  “Please don’t call me ma’am. It mak
es me feel like I’m ninety years old. Call me Adlee.”

  “’K, Adlee. I’d love a glass of tea.” He grinned at me and I motioned for him to follow me inside. “By the way, my name is Briar. It’s nice to meet ya, Adlee.”

  After I gave him permission to hunt on my property, he spent quite a bit of time scoping it out. Mrs. Abbott, one of my regular customers, told me she suspected he was scoping out a lot more than just my property. I told her she was crazy, but looking back now I see that that was the case.

  When he got his first turkey he brought it over and fried it for me. It was quite the show he put on for me with the big ole deep fryer in the driveway. The oil crackling and popping out of the fryer. He brought over all of the rest of the meal too. Turns out, Briar was quite the cook. His specialty was homemade mac and cheese. It was so delicious. He also brought twice baked potatoes, green beans with bacon, and yeast rolls. His grandma taught that boy well.

  That night when Briar leaned in to kiss me I was a little taken aback by it, but I let him do it anyway. That’s when I realized that the more time I spent with Briar the less time I thought about Tanner and the hurt he had caused me. Briar and I kissed a few times that night, but that was it. He spent the night with me and I filled him in on my past. I shared all of the gory details. If he was going to be with me, he needed to know everything. When I was done and sitting on the porch swing beside him sobbing, he pulled me into his arms and whispered, “I’m here, Adlee. And I ain’t ever goin’ anywhere.”

  From that moment on we were together all the time. He owned a house in town, but we both agreed my house would be a better place to grow old together. The first thing Briar did was a complete renovation. It took him six months, because he did most of the work himself, but when he was done the house didn’t even resemble the home I once shared with Tanner. It was my home with my new husband, Briar Thompson. We were married right after the renovations were complete. I’d started attending the Baptist Church in town with Briar, so we were married there. It was a beautiful, heartfelt ceremony before God, Briar’s family, my customers, and our friends. Tanner Jones didn’t even enter my mind that day. It was perfect.