Remember My Love

by Elise Dee Beraru

  Susannah's sketches began to take on a stark quality fitting her moodiness, so much so that Adele even commented, "Susannah, I'm truly sorry the farm is so far from town. I wish there was something I could do."

  "Oh, Sissy, it's just that I will never be as lucky as you--to have the man of my dreams drop into my life like a sack of potatoes."

  "You never know."

  "Besides, who would want a crippled wife?"

  "I used to think no one would want a five-foot ten inch woman. I was wrong. Look, we'll try to give you opportunities to get into town more often. You can make the shopping trips instead of me and check on the dates of church socials and such. Winter is coming, but once spring comes again we'll make a point of it."

  THE WINTER OF 1875 was a mild one. The snow level was lower than usual.

  One morning, Brian and Adele sat over a cup of tea while Susannah had gone to the barn to milk the cow.

  Brian began, "Susannah's turning eighteen December eighth. That's just two weeks away. I was thinking that maybe for this birthday I would get her a box of watercolors, but I forgot to buy it the last time I was in town. I was also thinking of taking her into town with us for a real restaurant meal in her honor and maybe spend the night in the hotel so we don't have to rush through eating to get back before dark."

  "That sounds like a wonderful treat. Only thing is, Bea's been fighting a cold on and off for a week. If she comes down with it full blown, I'm not going to want to travel for four hours in the wagon in the middle of winter."

  Brian hummed thoughtfully.

  "Maybe this is the time we pay back for the wedding trip. I could take Susannah and spend the day, just the two of us. We could ride instead of going by wagon but not spend the night."

  "That might work. Or you could spend the night and while you're having luncheon, you could drop Thunder off at the vet and finally have him gelded."

  "You still don't like that horse, do you?"

  "He still scares me. I never know what he'll do."

  SUSANNAH LOVED the idea of luncheon in Green River. "Just think what people will say when they see me on the arm of my handsome brother-in-law." Wanting to surprise her, Brian didn't tell her about the watercolors.

  Beatrice did come down with that threatened cold, however, by the seventh of December she was well and it was Adele who was still sniffling.

  The morning of December eighth was cold, crisp and clear, with no hint of snow. Susannah put on her new gown, a birthday gift from Adele. Made of sprigged muslin, this gown had been copied from a fashion magazine and even included a bustle on the narrower skirt. It was quite the most fashionable garment either woman had ever owned and Susannah felt very grown up in it. She pulled her heavy woolen cloak about her as she mounted on her saddle ladder to adjust herself in the sidesaddle.

  Brian wore his wedding clothes--black broadcloth vest and pants and muslin shirt. It was the first time he had occasion to dress quite that finely since the wedding. He pulled on the shearling jacket and the worn felt hat.

  Before he headed out to the barn, he walked into the bedroom. Adele, wearing a nightgown and wrapper because of her waning head cold, was nursing the nine-month-old Beatrice. Brian mussed the soft black curls on his daughter's scalp and pressed a kiss on top of her head. He pulled both wife and daughter into the shelter of his arms.

  "I wish you were coming with us," he murmured.

  "I do, too," Adele sniffed, "but it's not a good idea. This cold's on its last legs. I don't want to chance it getting started all over again."

  "You know, Susannah and I don't have to stay over."

  "It'll be far too cold to come home tonight. I'm a big girl; I'll be okay alone for one night."

  "I was just thinking, this will be the first time I haven't slept in your bed in almost two years."

  "I know. But it's just for one night."

  "I won't sleep," he warned. "I'm too used to you."

  Adele kissed him quickly on the mouth. "And I you."

  Brian stood. "While I'm in town, I may just check out the gold wedding bands I've been promising. How would you like that for Christmas?"

  Adele looked at her horseshoe nail ring. "Actually, I've gotten so used to this ring, I think I'd feel strange wearing anything else."

  Brian grinned mischievously, "If you want to `feel Strange,' I could come back to bed right now."

  Adele laughed and kissed him on the cheek, "Go on with you before you tempt me further. And take good care of my little sister."

  Brian took off his hat and swept her a gallant bow. "As you wish, my lady." He turned to leave.

  "Brian...."

  "Yes, my beloved."

  "Never forget that I love you."

  Brian's smile faded. "I never will." And he left the bedroom.

  He walked over to the sideboard and opened the small cashbox. He took a large portion of the money, thinking to have enough for luncheon, the paintbox and the hotel rooms if he and Susannah actually stayed the night, and to pay the vet. He shoved the cash in his pocket, yanked on his leather gloves and exited the house.

  He walked out to the barn and mounted Thunder and he and Susannah galloped off toward Green River.

  IT WAS NEARLY eleven, too early for luncheon, when Susannah and Brian arrived in Green River, so they headed directly for the mercantile. Hitching Esmeralda and Thunder to the outside hitching rail, they entered the store.

  Brian took Susannah by the arm and led her to the art supplies. "How would you like to begin to work in watercolors?"

  Susannah's eyes rounded. "Really? I'd love to. I'd be a real artist."

  "You already are a real artist. I just think it's time you had a more extensive palette. Take a look and see if there's a watercolor set that suits your fancy."

  She threw her arms around Brian and kissed his cheek as she thanked him profusely for such a special birthday present.

  There were a couple of watercolor sets. Susannah looked hungrily at them both. It would be hard to decide but it was so wonderful to even contemplate. Brian grinned as he watched her carefully examine the features of each one while she tried to made her decision.

  Meanwhile, outside the mercantile, a couple of schoolboys were teasing a smaller boy with a snake they had found, pushing it into his face and threatening him until he screamed, and laughing at his terror. Their little victim screamed and ran, crashing right into Thunder's rear flank.

  With a whinny of fright, Thunder began to buck and pull at his bridle, panicking and snorting. Through the plate glass window, Brian saw the commotion and--forgetting Susannah--rushed outside to try to gain control of his skittish stallion.

  He grabbed at the taut bridle and tried to pull Thunder's head down. The big horse lurched his head with a force that pulled the hitching rail off its supports, knocking into Brian's back and dropping him to his hands and knees. In the excitement, Esmeralda's reins came loose when the rail came down and she was galloping down the street and out of town before anyone thought to stop her.

  As Brian tried to right himself, Thunder bucked again, then reared. With all the force he possessed, his front hooves rose in the air and a iron-shod hoof cold-cocked Brian just as Susannah came out of the mercantile to see what was going on. Susannah screamed as Brian crumpled to the dirt.

  The sheriff and his deputy heard the commotion from their office next door to the mercantile and rushed out. They saw the frenzied, bucking stallion and the bleeding, unconscious man too close to his deadly hooves. Without a second thought, the sheriff drew his revolver and rushed toward the stallion, dropping him with a single shot to the brain. Thunder fell dead, his last jerk catching Brian in the head again.

  Susannah was still screaming; she had dropped to her knees and had her head buried in her skirts. The sheriff barely noticed her. He motioned to his deputy and a couple of bystanders to help him. They turned Brian over and saw blood seeping from a laceration on his forehead, not far from the site of a previous forehead scar. The area was already
turning purple and Brian was out cold.

  "Come on, Charlie, Dennis; we've got to get this man to a doctor."

  Charlie, Dennis and two other men picked up the tall farmer. One of them said, "Doc Hogue's office is in the next street. This way."

  Susannah heard the familiar name and tried to rise to follow. The sheriff halted her.

  "Do you know the man, miss?"

  "Yes...he's my...brother-in-law, Brian Strange."

  "You're not from Green River, are you?"

  "Our farm is about twenty miles east of here."

  Susannah rose to follow, but her clubfoot slowed her. She limped after the men in the direction of Doctor Hogue's office. They were already out of sight with their burden by the time she stood up to follow.

  The men brought their prostrate charge to Doctor Hogue's surgery door only to find it locked. A sign on the door said, Gone to Cheyenne. Returning January 5th.

  "What're we going to do with this guy?" griped Dennis.

  Charlie answered, "What about that new doctor? Travis, I think his name is. His office is near the depot."

  "Hope he's there."

  They carried Brian over toward the depot to Doctor Travis's office and were out of sight by the time Susannah managed to hobble over to Doctor Hogue's office and read the sign. She looked up and down the street, completely baffled as to which way to go now.

  Meanwhile, the reluctant Samaritans located Dr. Travis' office. The door was unlocked, so they brought Brian in and laid him down on a cot in the surgery. There was a sign on Dr. Travis' door reading, Out to Lunch; Returning 1:00 P.M.

  Dennis was annoyed. "I got stuff to do. I ain't stayin' around. The doc can figure it out when he gets back." The other men agreed. Leaving the unconscious man on the too-short cot, they went their separate ways.

  CONSCIOUSNESS, like a dark fog barely lifting, crept into his brain about fifteen minutes after the men abandoned him. In the darkened surgery, a befuddled lurch shook his body. As if warding off a blow, he came awake with a start.

  His first thought was that he didn't know where he was or how he got there. His head ached, the left temple throbbing and his vision cloudy. He glanced around the room and recognized it as a surgery. He surmised that someone must have found him and brought him here, but upon calling out he discovered that the place was deserted.

  Pulling himself off the cot, he walked to the half glass front door of the surgery. His first sight was of the depot.

  "Must get home," he mumbled and exited the surgery.

  He walked unsteadily to the train station. The box office was open and a steaming passenger train stood on the track.

  He approached the ticket window.

  "Where to?" the clerk asked.

  "San Francisco," he responded.

  "Train behind you's leaving for Salt Lake City in fifteen minutes. You can transfer through to Frisco from there." The clerk quoted a price. The man searched through his pockets until he found some bills and coin and paid the clerk for a ticket.

  "Oh, and it's San Francisco, mister. We San Franciscans don't care much for Frisco," he declared as if by rote.

  "Yes, sir. You'd better hurry if you want to catch that train. With good weather and clear track, you should be in Fris--San Francisco by the twelfth."

  With a nod, he walked away. He boarded the train and leaned back in a seat and drifted off to sleep. He didn't even feel the lurch of the train as it pulled out of Green River and headed on its journey.

  ADELE HEARD the sound of horse's hooves far sooner than she expected. She ran onto the porch to see a lathered and riderless Esmeralda, her sides heaving painfully. Putting Bea in her cradle, she ran over to the mare.

  Adele saw the dragging reins and immediately became frightened. Did Susannah get thrown? Was she all right? Then she realized, Susannah was with Brian. Even if she got thrown, Brian could ride her home double on Thunder. She led the exhausted mare into the barn, unsaddled and wiped her down and led her to the water trough. She watched carefully to make sure that Esmeralda didn't drink too fast so she would not get a cramp.

  For hours she paced the floor in the cabin, sometimes with Bea in her arms, the rest with her arms wrapped around herself. As the time passed she became more and more worried.

  As night fell, Adele was surprised to hear the sound of a carriage coming up the path. She rushed outside to see Mr. Duneagan's carriage pulling up with the factor and a pale and shaking Susannah inside.

  "What's happened? Where's Brian?"

  Susannah burst into tears. "I don't know," she sobbed.

  "What do you mean, you don't know?"

  Through her sobs, Susannah told her as much of the story as she knew, which dead-ended at Dr. Hogue's locked surgery door. "I couldn't locate hide nor hair of him."

  "Mr. Duneagan, is there another doctor in Green River?"

  "Yes, there's Doctor Travis, but I took your sister to his office and he told us he hadn't had a patient brought in until three that afternoon."

  "Did you check with the sheriff, Susannah?"

  "Yes, his deputy says...he was one of the men...says they brought Brian to Doctor Travis's office...That was about eleven thirty, but Dr. Travis didn't see Brian, so he must have come to and...left before the doctor got back at one o'clock. Oh, Sissy, what are we going to do?"

  Adele, acting calmer than she really was, replied, "We'll just have to find him, that's all. Right at daybreak we'll go back to Green River and take some of your sketches of Brian and walk around town near the doctor's office and see if anyone saw him. My God, he's six feet four. He doesn't exact blend in with a crowd."

  Mr. Duneagan rose to leave. "If I can be of assistance to you, you have only to ask. Now I really must be going, it's a long cold ride back to town."

  As Adele closed the door behind Mr. Duneagan, she struck a fist against the front door. "That goddamned horse!" she swore. "It's a good thing the sheriff shot him or I'd've done it myself." Susannah could not remember ever hearing Adele swear before. She said nothing because she realized Adele was even more frightened than she was.

  The next morning, they hitched up the jenny to the wagon and, with Susannah holding Beatrice, rode into town. They carried a couple of Susannah's most recent pencil sketches of Brian and started combing in concentric circles from Dr. Travis's office. For most of the morning they were unsuccessful, until Adele walked up to the ticket window at the depot and showed the agent the sketch.

  He looked at it closely. "Tall man," he asked, "black hair?"

  "Very tall, very black."

  "Yeah, I remember him. Bought a one way ticket to San Francisco on the twelve fifteen."

  "Are you sure?"

  "Yeah, I won't forget. He chewed me out for calling it Frisco."

  "When does the next train leave here for San Francisco?"

  "Next train to Salt Lake City leaves in two days. Transfer there for the westbound. The baby rides free." He quoted her a price for the fare.

  Adele passed on the information to Susannah. They rode back to Mr. Duneagan's office and told him about their dilemma.

  "Based on what the ticket agent quoted me as a price, Brian would have had to have had almost all our money to pay cash like that. I'm not sure I have enough money left to get to San Francisco and survive while I look for him."

  "This assuming San Francisco was his final destination," observed Mr. Duneagan.

  "Well that's a new starting place to look. Mr. Duneagan, you've told me on more than one occasion that if I ever wanted to sell or lease my place, you could help me. We--that is, Susannah and I--own the farm free and clear. The title was clear before I married Brian. I could try to take out a mortgage, but I'm going to need someone to watch the place."

  "I don't know if our local banker would give you a mortgage without Brian's signature, even if you swear he has no ownership interest in the property. The farm may have become half his when you married. And Susannah is a minor."

  Adele closed her eyes in pain and bit
down on her lower lip. "What am I going to do then? Brian was hurt. He may be confused. I have to try and follow him."

  "I'm not a bank to have strict rules. I can draw you up a private mortgage of $1,000.00 as against rents. I have a lessee in mind who could do wonders with that property of yours. That's for lock, stock and barrel, including all the furniture."

  "I'll need the cradle for Beatrice, and I'll be taking Little Gent as well. That cat is more family than mouser anyway."

  "You've got it. I'll draw up the papers for you to sign tomorrow. Your sister can't sign on her own, but you can sign as her guardian. Pack what you think you'll need and bring the horse and cow to the livery stable. There'll be traveling money and a letter of credit waiting for you. You and your sister can spend the night with my family and leave the next morning."

  Bone weary, they drove home. Susannah took over the reins so Adele could nurse Bea.

  "Sissy, do you think we'll find Brian in San Francisco?"

  "I hope so."

  "Mr. Duneagan said he might go somewhere from there."

  Adele replied, "Brian told me that he dreamed at night of a city on a bay or ocean. San Francisco would meet that description."

  They dumped the trunk and filled it with all of their clothes and toiletries and all of Brian's and Beatrice's clothing and necessaries. Susannah insisted on packing all her drawing equipment and numerous old sketches, particularly those of Brian. Adele packed the wedding morning sketch. She also packed her sewing basket and an almost finished sacque suit she was making from brand-new fabric as a gift for Brian. Finally, she packed as many of her quilts as would fit in the trunk. She filled their picnic basket with padding so Little Gent would have a way to travel.

  As she folded her Wedding Ring quilt and the one they had worked on together, Adele fought the urge to cry. Swiping her hands across her eyes, she set her jaw. "We'll find him," she declared aloud.