by M. R. Joseph
That kiss sounds the bell for round two with my perfect man.
Christmas was wonderful. Craw, Greta and I spent the night at my parents, waking up to Mom’s French toast, and Dad making us open presents one at a time. Mom was a bit melancholy knowing that this would be the last time all three of her children would ever be under her roof on Christmas morning.
And I’ll never have that. I mean I could adopt. I can’t see myself going through life without children. If I end up with Cruz, who has made it clear to me in the past that he doesn’t want children, that is either something I’ll have to deal with in order to be with him, or something we must discuss. I’m getting way ahead of myself. I mean the man can’t even tell me he loves me, even though I know he does.
Greta’s wedding is tonight. My sister is getting married, and as happy as I am for her, I can’t wait for it to be over. She’s a pain in the ass, to put it lightly.
Grandmother had Christmas Day at her house. It’s cold in there. No pictures of family, only old portraits of strangers. Like the ones you see on the Antique Road Show. She really doesn’t engage in any conversations with me. Mostly Greta. Craw and I stick together because we were cut from the same cloth.
The only time she actually asked me a question that day was if Chad was looking forward to the wedding. Now she damn well knows we aren’t together, so I don’t follow what kind of game she’s playing. Then Greta lets out of the bag that I have a boyfriend, and he will be my date. Grandmother’s only reply was “Oh.”
So much for a delightfully stimulating conversation between the two of us.
I wake Cruz up by doing none other than sticking my hands down his boxer briefs.
Don’t judge.
Cruz groans, but has a smile on his face at the same time.
“Woman, didn’t you get enough the last few nights and days for that matter.” I remove my hand from his hardness, and I straddle him.
“Nope. I can never get enough of you. In the kitchen, on the stairs, on the sofa, under the Christmas tree, on the bathroom sink, in the shower. Would you like me to go on?”
He laughs and pulls my body down onto his.
“I’m pretty sure we’ve covered every inch of this place.”
I kiss both his cheeks and his nose, and my hand goes back to where it previously was.
“I think we have time to check out a new location? You game?”
He sends a fiery kiss to my lips, and I’m lost, as usual.
“I could never deprive you, but look what time it is. You don’t want your sister going crazy ‘cause you’re late for your hair appointment.”
I groan. “Ugh, I guess not, but you could always join me in a location we have already visited.”
He looks at me with the devil in his eye. Yes, he is the devil, my devil, and if this is the way I’m going to hell, I’m fully prepared.
“And where is that?”
“Care for a shower?”
I can’t think straight walking down this aisle. I hate that there are three hundred people staring at me, but my eye catches only one person. His blue eyes brazen, dressed in a tux, looking like sin on a shingle, and he’s all mine. Cruz looks at me as I take each step slowly as instructed by my sister. The organ and trumpets make their sounds reverberate throughout the church. Cruz winks at me as I try to be as steady on my heels as I can. I wear heels all the time, but today I’m nervous for some odd reason. Could it be that all eyes are on me right now, or someone in my grandmother’s circle is thinking ‘oh, there’s the granddaughter who doesn’t like money,’ or is it that I know Chad is going to be here and so is Cruz, and I do not want any trouble? Maybe a bit of all of the above. I take my place in one of the aisles with the rest of the bridesmaids and wait for my Cinderella looking sister to come down the aisle. She is breathtaking and looks so happy. Her fiancé, Jeff, stands in front of the altar, beaming from ear to ear. In spite of all my sister misgivings, and her unreasonable ability to make a simple situation all about her, when it doesn’t, I love her very much and am so happy for her. I know she’s going to have a beautiful life.
We arrive at the reception venue, which is my grandmother’s country club., Well my dad’s too. She is an owner of it, and my dad has a piece of the pie even though he doesn’t have anything to do with it. Grandmother insisted he have some. Mom told him just to go along with it for argument’s sake. So he’s been a silent partner, only golfing there on an occasion with Mr. Knox and clients. Dad could care less about the social aspect of it, as well as the monetary part of it.
I can’t find Cruz. I know he’s here because I see his car in the lot. I dash around the room, trying to avoid ‘hellos’ from my parent’s friends and my family. I ask Craw, but he hasn’t seen him. I step through a set of French doors that lead onto the patio that overlooks the golf course. White lights and green garland go beyond as far as the eye can see. The smell of balsam and pine invade my senses, and I remember it’s New Year’s Eve, still the Christmas season. The country club is most spectacular during the holidays, but the patio is a sight to be seen, especially this night as I see the one I love standing by the main fountain that has been transformed into a winter scene just for Greta. The lights dance off the water and extravagant icicles form around the edge of the fountain. The water almost looks silver against the lights and ice sculptures of snowflakes and ice skates shine in colorful prisms in front of bright lights. It is a sight to behold, except for the man who stands in front of it.
“Hey, Dickcop. Wanna do the Macerena?”
He turns around at the sound of my voice and steals my breath. I mean literally extracts air from my lungs.
“Here? Now? Or should we wait to request the band play it. It is our song, ya know.” I laugh and step closer to him.
“This place is magical, Turnip. Just look at it. I know that sounds weird but I have never seen anything like it before.”
It’s no big deal to me because I see it every year, but here’s the thing, he’s the one that’s magical.
“Glad you like it. I’ll let my grandmother know.”
He looks confused, and it’s because I didn’t tell him she owns the joint.
“My grandmother is an owner here, so she does this every year with the other existing owners.”
He shakes his head. “I knew your family had money, but you never told me she owns part of this place. Wow.”
“Yes, and so does my dad.” I interrupt him before he can say anything else. “But he has nothing to do with it. He goes to a few of the board meetings and that’s really it.”
Cruz says nothing more, just steps towards me and wraps his arms around me. Not kissing me, just holding me, and in this moment, I want to tell him all the things I’m feeling. How the love I have for him is beyond any comprehendible word I can properly use. But not now. It’s time for us to go in and have dinner. I can be patient, and I can worry about what his response will be. This is more than a fling. This is more than sex. This is my destiny we’re talking about here, and I feel as though Cruz is it.
He is my destiny.
The wedding was so lovely, and Greta is so beautiful. She takes her first dance with her husband, and they look like they are floating on air. Cruz stands beside me, holding my hand, and I can feel him looking at me. Mom and Dad are so happy. I scan the crowd looking at all the guests, and I see the one person, or make that two people, I was trying to avoid all night.
Grandmother and Chad.
What a lovely couple they make. Her arm is wrapped around his. He whispers something in her ear, and she laughs like he’s a comedian or something. He spots me and raises his glass, Grandmother looking anywhere but in my direction.
I roll my eyes and hang on Cruz’s arm a little tighter. I’m actually calm seeing him, the hunter. I’m no longer his prey, his sacrifice. He will never again rule anything that has to do with my life.
When the song ends I excuse myself from Cruz, who is now standing talking with my brother. Thank God Craw l
ikes Cruz and is just happy that I’m happy in the process. I give them both a kiss on the cheek and scurry off to the ladies’ room.
I exit and run right into the chest of Chad.
“Hey baby. Lookin’ good in that dress. Not that you don’t always look good, plus I know what you look out of it, too.” He tries his best to pull me closer to him and he reeks of scotch.
“Oh, for the love of Pete, Chad, you’re drunk. Leave me alone.”
He releases me when I go and push him away.
He places his hand on his heart. “Aw, baby, that hurts. Why so cold?”
I try and dodge around him several times and this little game is over.
“Get out of my way, Chad. My boyfriend and Craw are right out that door and you do not want to mess with them. You’ve already seen what Craw can do to you. I don’t even want to think about what kind of damage my boyfriend could do to you.”
He straightens out his tie and sniffs.
“Well listen, sweetheart. When you’re finished playing cops and robbers with that punk out there and you wise up to the fact that he doesn’t fit with you, or your family, call me. You know I always have time for you, baby.”
He kisses me on the cheek, and I suddenly feel dirty. I swipe at my cheek, getting rid of the feeling of his lips on me. He disgusts me.
I walk back into the grand ballroom, and I realize it’s almost midnight. I search the crowd for my piece of magic. I spot him, and he spots me. Yes, it’s like those trashy romance novels or the old time black and white movies I make Cruz watch with me. Here we are in the middle of the dance floor. Midnight is fifteen seconds away, and as the seconds tick by, I’m not going another moment without telling him how I feel. I mentally prepared for it to flow out of my mouth, no questions asked, just the plain old truth.
He greets me, “Hi.”
“Hi.”
He grabs me and our foreheads touch as he sways my body along with his slightly.
“Cruz, I have to tell you something.”
His eyes remain closed. “What is it, my Turnip? Tell me.”
5,4,3,2,1…
“I love you.”
The swaying between us stops and he pulls his face forward looking right into my eyes. This is it, the moment of truth. He’s going to say it back. I know it.
But the moment never comes. Just a tender kiss with hidden meaning. He loves me, he just can’t say the words.
I should have prepared better for this. Thinking it was the most romantic time to tell the person you’re in love with the fact that you did indeed love them, guess it was the wrong one time.
I’ll go on believing it’s just that he doesn’t know how to say it to a girl because he never really had to say it to someone or wanted to. But a slight amount of doubt lingers in the back of my mind. Is this all just fun for him, or does what I felt in his kiss give me the answers I need?
***
CHAPTER 16
I’ve met the devil and her name is Evelyn Hannum
Cruz~
She told me she loved me, and I can’t say it back. What the fuck is my problem?! I must be missing some sort of function in my brain. Maybe Rae did drugs when she was pregnant with me, and I have a birth defect. She stood there looking so fucking gorgeous that it stole my breath. Her eyes reflecting off the bright fireworks that danced outside the glass enclosed room we were just in. The look of love and disappointment were both reflected in them, and I feel like a total shit. Of course, I love her. Doesn’t she see that? Does she actually need to hear the words? She pulls her arms around me and whispers, “Happy New Year, Babe.” She gently kisses my cheek, and I whisper, “Happy New Year, Turnip.”
We dance to a slow song. I inhale the scent of vanilla in her hair, the shimmer of her dewy skin, and just being with her in this moment, is one I will never forget.
“Hey, you want a drink? I’m going to go up to the bar.”
She pulls away and smiles at me. “Sneak me a beer, ok? I’m going to go talk with my family.”
Ha, she makes me laugh. She’s a beer drinker, but at a shindig like this, no beer for girls allowed. I give her a chaste kiss and make my way to the bar.
The line is pretty long, so I pull out my phone and see I have a few texts from Max, Porter and Coop wishing Harlow and me a Happy New Year. Then my brother sent me a picture of Matteo dressed as baby New Year. I can’t wait to show Turnip. She’s going to love it.
I feel a tap on my shoulder.
“Mr. Cruz, I presume?” I turn around to see who the disembodied person was who just spoke.
“Yes, ma’am. You must be Mrs. Hannum, Harlow’s grandmother? Pleased to meet you.” I stick my hand out to shake hers, but she looks at it like it’s road kill.
Ok.
“Mr. Cruz, may I please have a word with you?”
This lady is scary. Silvery hair, pulled back tightly against her already surgically tightened skin and she’s tall like her son and thin.
“Yes, ma’am, of course. What can I help you with?” We remain in line for the bar as she graciously waves hello to passersby, giving some of them strange kisses that only involve air.
“What you can help me with? It’s what I can help you with. Mr. Cruz you are an officer of the law, correct?”
“Yes, ma’am and a Marine.”
She looks at me surprised.
“Oh, a Marine.”
I think I’ve really impressed her so far.
I nod.
“Well then, you have fought in wars I presume?”
“Yes, I have been on three active tours in Afghanistan and Iraq.”
“Well then, you know all about battle.” She receives a glass of champagne from a white-gloved waiter, sipping it while waiting for my answer.
“Unfortunately, yes. I know all too well.”
“So since you are so familiar with battle then you won’t care that my granddaughter is a battle you will not win.”
I am not following Granny one bit.
“Pardon me?”
She finishes the rest of her drink and gives a wave to someone calling her name to say hello. A smile proudly shown on her face as she continues to talk.
“Mr. Cruz, I know all about you. Your drug-addict, whore of a mother, your daddy gone by the time you were two, where you come from, what kind of people you associate with. You lived in filth, came from filth. And please don’t bother to ask me where I got my information from. Only know that it is accurate and correct because I have power and wealth, Mr. Cruz and I have my ways. And by the look on your face, I can tell that my granddaughter is not aware of any of this, am I right?”
I nod, trying to raise my head to look for Harlow. I wish she could read minds, and I can tell her to come rescue me from this woman.
“So what would you like me to do?” I say through gritted teeth.
“I’d like you to stay as far away as possible from my granddaughter. She’s different from you in case you have not taken notice. We are a different breed than you, she is terribly… How do I put this… Out of your league, so to speak.”
I feel a sudden drop in my stomach. I’ve only felt this way a few times in my life. When my mother didn’t come home for days when I was about eight, and when I watched some of my men blown to bits when I was at war. She knows all about me, about my life, and damn it, I should’ve told Harlow the truth about me, about Rae, but I was too scared. Knowing her now the way I do and loving her so much, I should’ve been honest with her.
I’m a coward. Add that to the growing list of things I am becoming. Good or bad.
“See, Mr. Cruz, my granddaughter was brought up with class, with money, with the finer things, things you would have no idea about. I mean did you really think a mug and a t-shirt would possibly be well-suited gifts for a woman like Harlow?”
How the hell did she know about the gifts?
“Oh Mr. Cruz, your facial expressions are quite revealing. My Greta told me about the gifts. Harlow told her. Cute, Mr. Cruz, cute and oh
so sincere, but when is my granddaughter going to grow tired of the cuteness? She is different, our Harlow, doesn’t care about money or power but deep down she is a lot like my people, my class of people, and well… You just don’t belong in that class.”
I keep my head turned straight ahead, finding Harlow and she waves to me when she sees me.
“How could you possibly provide for her? On a police officer’s salary? She may act and think that money doesn’t matter, but Harlow is young, naïve, and you could never give her what she really wants and needs.”
“What do you suggest I do?” I ask solemnly.
“End it, now. Before she gets hurt. You don’t belong together. She belongs with Chad, always has, since they were children.”
Evelyn’s voice isn’t so warm and fake-friendly now. There’s a sternness to it.
“Harlow and Chad, they fit together perfectly. You are what I call a temporary distraction until she opens her eyes and sees the truth. Chad can give her all she needs, everything her heart desires.”
I swallow hard thinking about what she’s saying. I feel drunk, even though I’m not, and the room is suddenly spinning out of control.
“Truth is, Mrs. Hannum, we love each other and I know Harlow. She isn’t about the glam and the glitz and the things you talk about.”
She throws her head back and laughs, keeping it classy, but still she mocks me.
“Oh my dear boy, you sound just like my Joseph did when he met Harlow’s tramp of a mother.”
“But her parents have been married for years and seem very happy. I’ve been in their company.”
“Yes, well Joseph has always been a rebel of sorts. Harlow is a lot like her father. I couldn’t stop him from making a mistake. He got her pregnant, and well… Greta came along and I know she’s not a mistake but then I didn’t know better. You are a mistake, Mr. Cruz. I refuse to allow my granddaughter to follow in her father’s footsteps.”
