You're the Password to My Life

by Sudeep Nagarkar

  ‘Come on, eat. Stop being so dramatic.’

  ‘Why should I listen to you? You are not my mom,’ Rohan muttered.

  ‘Whatever. Take this and put it in your mouth.’

  Rohan took one tablet in his hand but was not ready to eat it. Riddhima somehow convinced him and forced him to insert the tablet in his mouth. Riddhima gave him the glass of water but he showed slight resistance.

  ‘Are you taking it or should I stop talking to you forever?’ Riddhima said trying to emotionally blackmail him.

  ‘Why do you have to say such things? I hate it,’ Rohan said giving her an angry look.

  ‘Then without overacting, just drink the water and finish it,’ Riddhima said going closer to him.

  ‘Please, I am sorry. I will take my medicines tomorrow onwards,’ Rohan pleaded.

  Whenever it came to medication, be it taking tablets or visiting a doctor, he always tried to find an escape route. But Riddhima never allowed him and always forced him as he was very careless when it came to his health.

  ‘Are you eating or should I leave?’ she shouted.

  As Rohan drank the water, he looked at Riddhima from the corner of his eye and smirked. Riddhima told him to open his mouth wide open and rechecked if he had hidden the tablet. After making sure he hadn’t, she pulled his cheeks and gave him a wide smile.

  Rohan recollected many such sweet moments when Riddhima had expressed her care and love for him and how he always chose to overlook them. Thinking about them, he felt the same love for her and realized what he was losing out on. He lied down on the bed, excited to start his new life.

  If someone in our lives makes us forget the haunting memories of our past, then that someone is surely a part of our future. Riddhima not only helped him get over his depression, she also gave him hope for the future. He thought about expressing his love in a special way so that he could capture the moment forever. He came up with different ideas to make it memorable for her as it was his turn to make Riddhima feel loved.

  He thought of messaging Riddhima how much he was missing her, remembering their days together. But when it came down to writing the message, he found that he was at a loss for words, though he didn’t need words because he had found an amazing person who could understand his silence. After a long time, he had a smile on his face.

  Unofficially Yours

  27th December, 2009

  ‘Adi, are you sure she will say yes to me? What if something goes wrong? I hate rejections,’ said Rohan hitting me with a pillow.

  I was in deep sleep when Rohan came and was woken up by his constant chatter about his complicated love life. The only problem in supporting people in love is that they don’t sleep and eat, nor do they allow you to eat or sleep either.

  ‘Rohan, do you think I am an astrologer that I can predict these things? I told you yesterday that she obviously loves you. Otherwise why will she take care of you so much? She has better work to do in life.’

  ‘So should I tell her about my feelings today?’

  ‘No. Do one thing. Go visit an astrologist first. See what timing he gives you and ask him which gemstone you should wear on your finger so the stars work in your favour. Then sing some Bhajans and only then go and propose to her,’ I said irritatingly from under the blanket.

  ‘Ok fine. I’ll do it myself,’ Rohan said annoyingly.

  I had no option but to get up and comfort him otherwise he would have fucked my brain till it exploded. I made him understand that he had nothing to lose and also told him to act confident in front of her. When it comes to confessing your love for someone, guys always pretend to act macho, but deep inside they are scared to death. I told Rohan to act like his usual self in front of her so that she doesn’t suspect anything suspicious. Rohan took my advice seriously and left to meet Riddhima, allowing me to sleep once again. But just when I shut my eyes, he came barging into my room and woke me up, yet again.

  ‘Adi, get up please. I am confused. Which colour shirt should I wear?’

  ‘Wear a swimming costume and go, for all I care, you asshole. But just let me sleep, I beg of you.’

  Rohan made a sad face and turned around to leave.

  ‘Stop making me feel guilty. Wear the blue shirt. That colour suits you,’ I told him.

  Rohan thanked me for my help and left.

  ‘Please don’t knock again. Just go and hit a home run. Good luck,’ I yelled as he left the room.

  Before leaving, Rohan checked himself in the mirror numerous times from all angles—much more than he had in his entire lifetime. He wanted to make Riddhima feel special and was willing to go to any lengths to do that. When your heart begins to work towards another person’s happiness, you know you’re doing it not for some trifling amusement but for true love. Whenever Rohan felt broken on the inside, all he had to do was turn his head and look at Riddhima who cheered him up without fail. She was the joy of his life and kept him going even in his most trying times. Sometimes when someone new enters your life, the person either becomes just a page of your life or its greatest story. Rohan had decided to meet Riddhim a near her apartment in NIBM and take her out for lunch.

  By the time he reached her place, Riddhima was waiting for him near the gate. Just the mere sight of her made him nervous as was now going to meet her with a different intention in mind. He had started loving her and wanted to be a part of her life forever. He always found her beautiful but had never really gathered the courage to tell her that. Plus, he had now started looking at her differently—not so much in the capacity of a friend but someone he could spend the rest of his life with. Riddhima stood next to the lamppost, looking elegant in her red tube top and denims. Her sexy smile added to her beauty. He stopped the bike near her. She sat behind him, keeping her hand on his shoulders for support. If petrol wasn’t so expensive, he would have driven her around forever.

  ‘You look good, Rohan. Blue suits you,’ Riddhima complemented.

  Rohan just smiled and looked into her eyes through the rearview mirror. She glanced back at him and smiled.

  ‘Where are we going?’ Riddhima asked.

  ‘Pu La Deshpande Park.’

  The park was situated at Sinhagad road. Also known as Friendship Garden, it was built with the idea of recreating an original Japanese garden, giving the city-goers a chance to enjoy its lush green grass cover, providing a visual treat in the early morning. It is well maintained, with an artificial lake, and is home to many rare varieties of birds. There are many trees around and the pathways are barricaded by bamboo sticks on both sides. There are water channels along the path where one can spot many a colourful fish.

  Rohan and Riddhima rested on one of the benches and gazed the beauty of the garden without really saying anything to each other.

  ‘Is there anything special today?’ Riddhima asked finally breaking the silence between them.

  ‘Yes. But I am not sure how to tell you this.’

  ‘What are you talking about?’ she asked turning towards him.

  ‘I had planned to tell you so much today, but now I’m at a complete loss for words. When I’m with you, I can barely talk. You give me butterflies in my tummy. And when I’m away from you, I can barely think about anything but you since you’re always on my mind,’ Rohan whispered moving closer to her.

  ‘What happened, Rohan? Are you alright?’ she blushed.

  He felt the heat in his body even in the chilly winter morning. After gaining courage, he finally decided to come to the point and not beat about the bush.

  ‘I want to ask you that…I mean, you know, I want to tell you…how should I…’ he stammered.

  How the hell do guys ask girls for a one-night stand during their first meeting itself? I am not even able to say ‘I have started liking you’. Dammit! he thought.

  ‘Why are you behaving so weirdly?’ Riddhima said taking his hand in hers.

  Oh God. I am already fucking nervous and by holding my hand, she is making me more nervous. Now I understand
why most beautiful girls in the city roam around with nerds who are a complete mismatch for them. It’s not because there’s something special about them but because they had the guts to speak their heart out, he thought.

  ‘Riddhima, I wanted to tell you that…I…I love the way you care for me. Why do you love me so much?’

  Fuck…fuck…fuck. I wanted to tell her that I love her and not ask her why on the earth she loves me so much. She must be thinking what a fattu I am.

  Riddhima gave him a wry smile and blushed. She knew what Rohan was trying to convey but the girl inside her didn’t allow her to showcase her emotions.

  ‘Just because I told you I love you doesn’t mean that I want to be in a relationship with you. I simply told you how I feel. I know you love someone else and it’s okay,’ she said on purpose just to tease Rohan.

  But Rohan took her seriously and avoided broaching the topic now that he knew what her stand was. Little did he know she was merely joking with him. They talked about college, upcoming exams, and what not, but they did not speak a single word about how they felt for each other. Though Rohan had even saved a message in his folder that he wanted to send to her after his proposal, there was no way he could send it now. Riddhima kept forcing him to tell her the secret for which he had asked to meet her since she too wanted to hear him confess his love for her. But Rohan did not broach the topic again for the fear of rejection. She was walking on air knowing she actually meant something to someone.

  ‘WHAAAAT, you came home without telling her? Are you serious?’ I asked him when he returned home and told me everything.

  He simply nodded and avoided looking at me. I became furious at him, not because he was unable to confess his love to her but because he had disturbed my sleep early morning yet again and had still not been able to tell her about his true feelings.

  ‘How can you? Firstly tell me, who the hell proposes to a girl so early in the morning? You are not going for a morning walk, dammit! You are proposing to a girl. It’s not your bloody office where you have to mark your entry at sunrise,’ I yelled.

  ‘Just when I was about to confess my love for her, she said that just because she loved me didn’t mean she wanted to be in a relationship with me,’ he said choking up.

  ‘Girls will be girls. Come on bro, I am assuring you that she loves you. She might have just done that to tease you,’ I said cheering him up.

  I advised Rohan to try flirting with Riddhima through text messages to see her response. Free or low cost SMS service and social networking sites are a boon to those who are shy to ask girls out in person. They are the ones who make the optimum use of technology. It’s quite possible that the guy who doesn’t even speak with girls in college is the one who sends maximum friend requests and messages through such sites and is bloody good at it as well. So why can’t we?

  I motivated Rohan to give it one last shot.

  Rohan thought for a moment and sent her a text message: How many people around you call you by your name?

  Riddhima replied within a few minutes: Many. Why?

  Rohan winked and replied within seconds, There are a lot of people who call you by your name. But there’s only one person who can make it sound so damn special and that’s me.

  Are you sure? she replied.

  100% sure, Rohan replied and crossed his fingers anticipating her next reply.

  He jumped on the bed in joy when she replied with a kiss smiley and Lucky me written next to it. He replied saying he would do anything to impress her like a princess. Romance adds flavour to our lives and makes us feel alive in a way that nothing else can. Rohan shared his plan with me and asked for my help in making it unforgettable for Riddhima.

  Riddhima too felt loved and cared for. She knew that Rohan was a genuine person and meant all that he said. It was going to be the start of something beautiful—something that both were anticipating nervously.

  28th December, 2009, Midnight

  One should not love when one is left stranded or neglected, but when one is prepared to take on the responsibility. Rohan had left behind all the scraps of his previous relationship and was ready to take on the responsibility of being in a new one. He was nervous in the morning, but after a brief chat with Riddhima, he turned confident and was now ready to take on the world. He had decided to make it so memorable that even his grandchildren would be amused by it, knowing how he had proposed to his love. He told me to bring a few things from the market which I did. We had decided to go to Riddhima’s apartment around midnight when no one would disturb us or come in our way.

  Once the clock struck twelve, we left from Rohan’s home. Rohan had decided to come by car while I drove his bike. I had taken a bag with me that had a paint bucket, a brush, and some colours in it, along with some rose petals. The other material was in Rohan’s car. As we reached near her apartment, Rohan signalled me to go ahead showing me the exact location and also reminded me to check if her balcony lights were off. Her balcony was visible from the lane under her apartment. I gave him a thumbs up sign indication the lights were indeed off and also looked around to make sure no one was watching me. Marking the location from where she could see clearly from her balcony, I removed the paint and the colours from my bag and started my work. Once done, I called Rohan to drive down and he halted the car at a perfect spot.

  ‘Have you done it properly?’ he asked.

  ‘Rest assured,’ I said.

  I opened the back door of the car and removed the other material, placing it in such a way that Riddhima couldn’t see it from the balcony. We kept our fingers crossed and took a deep breath before taking the next step.

  ‘All set?’ Rohan asked me.

  I replied in the affirmative and hid myself behind the tree. My presence could have made her nervous as I had never met her in person. Rohan went inside the car and called Riddhima.

  ‘Rohan…is everything okay?’ she asked looking at the time in her watch.

  ‘Yes. Come to your balcony,’ Rohan said looking above through the window of his car.

  ‘Why?’ Riddhima asked in a confused tone.

  The balcony lights came on the next minute. Riddhima came and stood in the balcony. She looked down and saw Rohan’s car parked on the opposite side of the gate. He waved at her from inside his car and said confidently:

  ‘Riddhima, I don’t know whether you will like it or not, but I wanted to make you feel special. I am lucky to have you in my life. Whenever I needed you, you stood by me and helped me overcome many obstacles. Today is the perfect time to express my feelings to you. We have been best friends since long time now and know everything about each other. I think we should take our friendship a step ahead. If we can be good friends, then we can be good lovers too. What do you think?’

  Riddhima was dumbstruck! It all seemed like a dream to her. She pinched herself to make sure it was really happening.

  She smiled looking at Rohan and whispered over the phone, ‘Rohan…Do you really mean it?’

  Rohan turned on the ignition and stepped on the accelerator. The car moved ahead to reveal a message that was hidden beneath it, written in paint and surrounded by rose petals.

  ‘I love you my princess. Make me unofficially yours.’

  She was left speechless. He really had gone to great lengths to make her feel like a princess. Riddhima’s happiness knew no limits and she felt like announcing it to the world that her love was proposing to her at the stroke of midnight under her apartment.

  Before she could even react, she received a message on her mobile from Rohan.

  Getting to know you over these last few months has changed my life. I’m happier than I have ever been, and I owe that joy to you. Before I realized your love, there was emptiness in my heart that at times seemed to consume me, that threatened to break me—but now my life is full of meaning and purpose. I can see my future more clearly now—you are the light in the dark that guides my steps to where I want to be. When the entire world was once overcast by subtle s
hades of gray, you brought vibrant colours into my life. There are no words that I can speak, no song that I can sing, and no gesture that I can show, to prove my love for you, for the love I have for you has no definition. How can I describe the sheer joy I feel with the very thought of you? How simply hearing your voice causes my heart to beat faster, my pulse to race, and my smile to widen? How can just one person give me so much hope for a future I have always dreamed of having? You have opened my heart and awakened my soul. That is how I know that our love is everlasting. When I look into your eyes—those gorgeous eyes—I see a reflection of my own soul. And in your arms, I know there is no place on earth that I would rather be. I love you. I really love you, Riddhima.

  If you too feel the same for me then come down and give me a hug.

  Riddhima came down running from her room. The wait for her to come down seemed like a lifetime to Rohan. Sometimes you have to wait for a very long time to find that special person, but it is definitely worth the wait! Rohan and Riddhima both had to wait but they had finally found their forever.

  Rohan came out of the car and threw open his arms as soon as he saw Riddhima running towards him. Forgetting the world around them, without caring if someone was watching them, she just hugged him tight and he wrapped his arms around her. It was the longest hug of their lives and neither wanted to let go, having waited to confess their love to each other for so long. When they broke the embrace, Rohan kissed her forehead and said, ‘I love you’.

  ‘I love you too,’ she said with tears of happiness in her eyes.

  Their lips touched softly into the kiss of a lifetime. With one kiss you can surrender yourself so completely to your love. Riddhima had surrendered herself in the passion of the moment.