You're the Password to My Life

by Sudeep Nagarkar

  Suddenly, the person standing next to him asked for a Moods condom packet.

  ‘Give me one, too. Also, add a 5-star to my bill. How much, uncle?’

  Just to cover up for the condoms, he had asked for a 5-star chocolate as well. The guy at the counter understood the reason behind Virat’s uneasiness and gave him a comforting smile. Finally, the first battle had been won! Virat left the counter after paying the bill. He opened the door to the car and gave Mahek a wide smile. Making love is not just about sex, it’s a battle of hormones that starts from asking a condom at the chemist shop.

  ‘Got it?’ Mahek asked.

  ‘Yeah, It was easy. I was just receiving an important call so it took some time. Take this—this is for you, my darling,’ Virat proudly declared, giving her both the condom and the 5-star he had bought to save him some humiliation.

  She gave him a kiss on the cheek and they left for his home. Virat parked the car, lifted her up in his arms, and carried her inside the house

  As soon as Virat closed the door, Mehak embraced him lovingly. She buried her face in his shoulder while he wrapped an arm around her, returning the hug. He pulled her back to him as she tried to escape and smooched her hungrily. She finally pulled away from him and ran towards the kitchen. He ran after her, wrapping his arms around her waist and lifting her up in the air. When he placed her back on the ground, she turned to look at him amusingly.

  ‘Go take a shower first,’ she teased and escaped from his grip, leaving Virat disappointed. He went to freshen up and asked her to make herself comfortable.

  While Virat took a bath, Mahek removed a note from her bag, knowing that Virat would head straight for his wardrobe once he was out of the bathroom. She kept the note on top of his clothes and quickly changed into her shorts without taking her heels off. Virat got out of the shower with nothing but a towel wrapped around his waist. His bare body looked very seductive, with water dripping all over his chest. She gazed at him in admiration. Virat was about to pick up tee from the wardrobe when he saw the note. He picked the note up. It said,

  Fill in the blanks:

  I’m lusting for your ____. I want you to lick my ____ and ____ over and over again. I even want to feel your ____ in my ____.

  Virat looked at Mahek and said, ‘So this was all your planning, eh?’

  Mahek bit her lip seductively and said, ‘Are you just going to stand there lusting for me or are you going to do something about it?’

  She was speaking in such a sexy tone that he couldn’t resist pouncing on her. She let out a moan and in a few seconds, he grabbed her and pushed her on the bed. She licked his fingers one by one and then traced the outline of his lips. It made his body tingle.

  ‘If you could picture what’s going through my mind right now, you’d be totally, and I mean totally, turned on,’ he whispered in her ears.

  ‘What’s that?’ she asked while encircling his nipples with her fingernails.

  The room had been dimly lit, creating a passionate ambience for lovemaking. Virat removed the deck of cards from the drawer.

  ‘Let’s play a game,’ Virat declared. ‘These are a pack of playing cards. We assign a sexual act to each suit symbol like kisses for diamonds, body rub for spades, rolling of fingers for heart, and trying out a new position for clubs. Each number represents the wildness of the act. The higher the number, the wilder you’ll have to be.’

  ‘I am up for it,’ Mahek responded.

  She picked the first card up and it was an 8 of diamonds which meant kisses. The next moment, she leaned over him and started kissing him all over his body. From neck till toe, she kissed him 7 times, and gave him a final passionate kiss on his lips. Virat picked the next card and it was a 10 of hearts. He slowly undressed her, first removing her shorts and then the t-shirt. She still had her heels on and Virat was about to remove that too, but she told him not to.

  ‘I want to make out wearing just my heels. Doesn’t it turn you on?’ she asked.

  Virat nodded and slowly started rolling his fingers all over her, starting from her neck onwards. He paused near her belly and kissed it, making her moan loudly. The game continued for some time till Mehak grabbed the hem of his boxers and pulled down. She rolled her necklace on his body in such a manner that it aroused his senses. She stopped rolling near his inner thighs and looked above. Virat’s eyes were shut.

  ‘Look at me while you make love to me. Look here Virat. Look me in the eyes,’ she moaned.

  He gave her a sexy smile as he came up and hugged her. It was all happening too quickly. Virat took charge and Mehak screamed loudly. She wrapped her legs around his waist and Virat penetrated her slowly.

  ‘Virat,’ she whispered stroking his hair. ‘You put something in the food. Didn’t you?’ she said with a satisfaction on her face.

  ‘Hmm,’ he giggled.

  ‘And Virat…’

  ‘Hmm?’

  ‘This was indeed amazing,’ she panted, curling up on his sweaty chest.

  Mehak kissed him. Virat responded with the same excitement and they hugged each other.

  ‘You know what?’ Virat said as he stroked her hair.

  Mehak looked into his eyes and slowly kissed his cheeks like a small baby.

  ‘Shit, we forgot to use the condom,’ Virat said, remembering the lengths he had gone to buy them.

  ‘It’s ok. We are safe. You pulled out at the right time,’ she replied.

  ‘It’s not about safety. It was about my effort. Leave it, you will never understand,’ Virat said sadly.

  Only he knew what all he had done to get that Moods packet but in the end everything happened so quickly that Mahek was not in a mood to even wait for a second. Neither was Virat. Virat played their song on his mobile and hugged her,

  Dil ke chaman ka hasna toh dekho,

  Jaage nazar ka sapna toh dekho.

  Aise hue hum, ek jaan ek dil,

  Tu hai ki me hu, kehna hai mushkil…

  Zhoka basanti hai tu…tan hai gulaabi mera!!

  Do rang milne ke baad, hote nahi hai judaa…

  Saathiya tune kya kiya…itna karo na mujhe pyaar!!

  Virat and Mehak were lost in each other’s arms, with not a care in the world.

  The next morning, Mehak woke up content in Virat’s arms. She saw the time and woke up Virat as it was getting late. They got ready and Virat decided to drop Mahek home. Before leaving the house, they kissed each other one more time before locking the door. Virat took his bike instead of the car to avoid the morning traffic. He dropped her outside her home in Aundh. On his way back, he saw Rohan smoking near a paanwala. He immediately stopped his bike and greeted him. He was delighted to see him and puzzled as well

  ‘How come you are here in Aundh?’ Virat asked.

  ‘I had come to meet my aunt who stays here. I was just on my way back home. What about you?’

  ‘Pick and drop service for my girlfriend, you see,’ Virat winked.

  Rohan laughed and offered a cigarette to Virat. Virat helped himself to one ciggie and asked him whether he had moved on. Rohan nodded affirmatively. He confessed that he was confused about certain decisions in life and wanted to discuss them with Virat at length just to ease his stress.

  ‘Can we meet on Sunday?’ Rohan asked, looking at the calendar on his mobile phone.

  ‘Yes. Why not? Anything serious?’

  ‘Kind of. Even my brother Aditya would like to join us, if that’s okay with you,’ Rohan said.

  ‘C’mon buddy, I am completely okay with it.’

  They bid goodbye to each other and went their separate ways.

  We often meet people unintentionally in our lives without knowing that they would become our well-wishers some day. Rohan never thought that he would share his worries with someone he had met only a couple of times. Plus he never expected Virat to support and guide him through the rough patches in his life.

  It’s not about how long you’ve know each other or how often you meet. If your wavelength match
es, then one meeting is all it takes.

  Yes, I Cared…

  26th December, 2009, Sunday

  It was a chilly winter morning in Pune. The morning breeze waited to bring a new dawn in Rohan’s life. We had decided to meet Virat at the Germany Bakery in Koregaon Park. Since it was a Sunday, the place was jam packed. It was quite a popular joint and probably one of the oldest ones too. We had ordered a ginger lemon tea and a non-veg club sandwich to begin with, as Rohan anticipated it was going to be a long discussion.

  ‘Guys, I understand that you are saying this for my betterment, but I am afraid of getting into a relationship again. If someone hurts you, it’s difficult to recover from the trauma, no matter how hard you try. The experience makes you cynical about love itself,’ Rohan sobbed.

  ‘Rohan, don’t be so stubborn. Everyone has a past, but not everyone keeps on crying about it. If you keep on going like this, you will never find happiness in your life. And why are you being so selfish thinking just about yourself? Think about Riddhima who did so much for you when you needed a helping hand. Don’t lose out on such a girl. You’ll regret it later on,’ Virat added.

  ‘You are complicating things for no reason. If someone can’t be with you due to some reason, that’s okay. Some come back and some don’t. It’s part and parcel of life. And just because one person leaves, it doesn’t mean that you should forget about everyone else who’s still standing by your side. It’s really commendable that Riddhima supported you as your best friend even though she loved you. Just think how life would have been without her,’ I said trying to convince him to accept Riddhima’s love and move on.

  Rohan was about to say something when the waiter arrived with the sandwich and the ginger lemon tea. It was one of the best sandwiches I had ever tasted.

  Rohan took a sip of the tea and continued, ‘I am not denying that Riddhima was the one who was my backbone during my hard times, but the only thing that scares me is that there shouldn’t be any complications again. She is a couple of years older than me.’

  ‘Don’t act like a fool. I know your parents really well and I am sure they will be absolutely fine with it. Otherwise I would have warned you long back. Why didn’t you think of all this when you were in a relationship with Zoya? Weren’t the complications more then? Also, you’ve told me her parents are super cool. So why are you worrying so much? Just don’t think so much about it and go ahead. You have my support, bro,’ I said taking a bite of my sandwich.

  ‘Absolutely. Just move on,’ Virat agreed.

  ‘Aditya and Virat, you must be thinking I’m emotionless and that’s why I ignore Riddhima’s love, but it’s not that. I never treated her badly. I always respected her love and even shared my feelings with her. You might think that if I decide to move on, it would mean that I never loved Zoya in the first place, but that’s not true. I really loved her and was ready to fight for my love, but she had her own priorities. I respected her love too. I remember she had asked me to love someone who loved me back and took care of me. I think Riddhima is the right person. But don’t ever think that I didn’t love Zoya,’ Rohan confessed with tears in his eyes.

  ‘Have you lost it? We all know how much you loved Zoya and how hard you tried to convince her not to leave. I always asked you to move on, but never forced you as I wanted you to be ready for it. It’s easy to fall for someone when you are lonely. But then, that’s nothing but an escape from your previous relationship. Trust me Rohan, true love is always better than first love. I am saying this from personal experience,’ Virat responded.

  Virat and I finally sweet-talked him into giving it a try and he finally caved in. Just to celebrate his new innings, we ordered a carrot cake which was just perfect for the occasion. After some time, we decided to leave as Virat had some personal work to attend to. I didn’t prod too much since Rohan had once told me Virat preferred keeping his personal life peronal.

  ‘Give me the good news soon,’ Virat said and left.

  We also went back home with a new hope in our mind. A hope that would erase all the bad memories of the past and rewrite the good ones to bring the smile back into Rohan’s life. He knew what it took to love someone. One should not ask a person who’s in love to define love; instead they should ask the one who has lost someone in the name of love. Rohan had lost the love of his life once, and was ready to start things all over with Riddhima.

  Kitaabon ke pannon ko palat ke sochta hun,

  Yun palat jaaye meri zindagi to kya baat hai.

  Hawa ke zhoke ko jab jab dekhta hu tab sochta hu,

  Aisi hi aage bad jaaye zindagi toh kya baat hai.

  Kalam toh thi hi haath me par likhna sikhaaya hai aapne,

  Taakat toh thi hi haath me par hosla dilaya hai aapne.

  Manzil toh thi hi saamne par raasta dikhaaya hai aapne,

  Hum toh sirf dost hi the, par aashiq banaya hai aapne!

  Have you ever fallen for a close friend and been unsure as to what you should do about it? Rohan had fallen in love with Riddhima, slowly but surely. The way she handled him and never turned her back to his problems made him feel special. But he wasn’t sure whether he should really take it forward or wait for the right time. But, as they say, there is never a time or a place for true love. It happens by chance, in a heartbeat, in a single throbbing moment.

  He was confused because he had never felt like that for her before, or maybe he had overlooked his feelings for her. So what hurts the most? Saying something and wishing you hadn’t, or not saying something and wishing you had? Rohan was in a dilemma and thought of talking to Zoya once before taking any step further.

  This time he wanted to have a word with her not to plead or beg for his love, but to tell her that he had found someone worth his love. Life is not about finding someone you can live with. It’s more about finding that someone who can’t live without you. He hadn’t called her once in the last few months and thus he felt a little weird calling her again. He dialled her number anxiously. As soon as he heard the ringtone, he immediately disconnected the call. He gathered the courage and again dialled her number.

  ‘The number you have dialled is busy on another call,’ came the automated response.

  He decided to send her a message instead, but just when he was typing out the message, his phone beeped with a call. The name on the screen sent shivers down his spine. It was Zoya.

  ‘Hello,’ Rohan said in a shaky voice.

  ‘Hello. I got a call from you.’

  ‘Yes. How are you?’ Rohan stammered.

  ‘I am fine. But who is this? Do I know you? Sorry, but your number is not saved,’ Zoya said in a casual tone.

  ‘Rohan.’

  ‘Rohan…who?’ she said as if she had never heard the name before in her life. Her statement came as a shock to Rohan and he got extremely angry.

  ‘How many Rohans have been a part of your life till date, Zoya? You’ve forgotten my voice too? I wonder if you ever loved me,’ he screamed loudly.

  ‘Why have you called me, Rohan? I have moved on and I’m trying to live my life without you,’ she said in a soft tone.

  ‘Yes, I called you for the same reason. I am moving on. Better late than never.’

  ‘Good luck, Rohan.’

  Before Rohan could say anything, she disconnected the call. It made him more furious and he immediately sent her a couple of long messages:

  Till this minute, I was confused whether I was taking the right step, but now I am no more in a dilemma. Now I understand that everything happens for a reason. I don’t know what got into me that I called you. You asked me who I was… You are right. Who am I? I never meant anything to you. Tell me—if I meant anything to you, how you could forget the sound of my voice? This completely baffles me. Suddenly, I can see everything that I had been ignoring for the last few months. You have no place for me in your heart. You have no respect for me, not in the tiniest bit. If you did, then you would not treat me the way you do. You would not string me along and play with my emo
tions. I fight with myself over and over again because I feel like such a loser for staying in a relationship that made me so unhappy. I wonder why I clung to your memories when everyone and told me to let go. How can I defend you? I’m always sticking up for you when my friends ask me the reason for our breakup. I tell them you were nice but just that situation was beyond your control.

  Don’t expect me to wish you a happy birthday every year, like I have since I met you. If you recall, the first day I met you was actually on your birthday. Don’t expect me to be there when you need me. I will never again run my fingers through your hair or cuddle up next to you. Don’t look forward to anything from me anymore. And please understand that I am not doing this to teach you a lesson. I am doing this because I am finally done with you. I am just fed up, and my heart can’t take it anymore. I have finally made peace with the fact that we can never be together again.

  There’s always a right time to end everything. If Rohan had not called Zoya, he would have never found the courage to start a new relationship. But now he had made up his mind. He had decided to move on and he had the right to be happy. Every person who comes into your life teaches you something, plays his part and departs. No one lives with you forever. You never lose anyone because you never owned them in the first place. Rohan didn’t lose anything but he would have certainly lost an opportunity to be with a person who loved him like anything if he wouldn’t have taken the decision to be happy.

  As he lay on his bed, he remembered the day he was with Riddhima after ending the usual class of French at her home...

  Rohan was ill and on medication. Still he had gone for the classes, not because he was passionate about French but because he loved Riddhima’s company. That day Riddhima had invited him for dinner. After having their dinner, Rohan had intentionally pretended that he had forgotten his tablets home and would take them once he gets back. But Riddhima had forcefully grabbed his bag from him and digged through the contents. She had found the tablets wrapped in a piece of paper and told Rohan to take them. Rohan hated medicines and always put up an act to avoid eating them. Riddhima knew he would’ve hidden the bag somewhere and hence brought a glass of water and sat beside him.