New Jersey Yankee In King Arthur's Court

by P McAuley, Robert

  Ten minutes later they sat on newly dusted benches and sipped cider.

  “Please forgive us for the lack of furniture, as we have just arrived,” said Guinevere to the group.

  “My queen, thou art too kind,” said Sir Killop as he retrieved a leather pouch and set it on the poor excuse of a wooden table. “I bring thee treasure that Sir Albert hast stolen from the people of England.”

  She opened the pouch and coins of many denominations rolled out. Shocked, Guinevere asked, “Pray tell, Sir Killop, in what way dost Sir Albert steal this from the people of England?”

  “My queen,” the knight answered as his blood pressure showed on his face, “the scoundrel who would call himself Sir Albert went from person ta person an asked ta guard the tax money they are ta pay the king. He say ta them, ‘I be told by the king before he died ta hold an’ guard thy tax monies till a new king be named.’”

  “Sir Killop,” she asked, “dost thou mean he took the tax monies meant for the coffers of England?”

  “Indeed he did, my Queen.”

  “And the people believed in him?”

  “Nay, my Queen. The people be afraid o’ him as he be mean and smites any who wouldst stand up ta him.”

  “Sir Killop,” asked Arthur, “how doth thou get his monies?”

  He be drunk an’ tell someone who likes him not, an’ he told me. In a great oak tree on his land is where the dolt hides his thievery. I paid coins ta get him drunk again an’ me an mine knights took it fer yee.” He turned to the other eleven knights and motioned to them. They all removed a purse from their belts and placed them on the table. “Here be it all, my Sires.”

  Arthur’s eyes opened wide as he tried to match Guinevere’s calm. “Wouldst Sir Albert know who took his ill-gotten monies when he awakes?”

  “Methinks yes,” answered Sir Killop.

  “Then thou shalt stay here with us at Camelot Castle.”

  “If that be thine wish, my Sires, we shall happily dwell here with thee.” He paused and went on. “But know this, Sires. It is said that Sir Albert be raisin’ an army ta fight yee.”

  “Mmm,” mumbled Arthur, “Sooner or later we are gonna have to meet Fat Albert.”

  “And smite him!” They turned and looked at Queen Guinevere as she sat with clenched teeth and closed fists.

  After listening to a day of sawing and hammering, the quiet of the evening was welcome. Soon after evening-meal, a strapping young man named Drew approached Arthur and Guinevere as they sat in the courtyard with Merlin.

  “Sires,” he said with a bow. “I be Drew, an’ head o’ thy woodsmen. It be our duty this day ta cut down many oak trees so we might make doors and such fer Castle Camelot.”

  Arthur nodded. “I saw what thou hast brought in an’ am very pleased with thee and thine men.”

  The young man smiled at the compliment. “Tis a problem we have, Sires. Tomorrow we must travel further to seek out new trees, fer it be bare of trees here about. So, repairs on Camelot Castle couldst take a bit longer. Be this fine with yee?”

  Arthur shook his head, “Drew, it be fine with the queen and me. Tis not yer fault the trees grew not in this area.”

  The young man smiled as he bowed, “Thank yee fer bein’ understandin’, m’lord. Work on Camelot Castle shall be done fast as can be.” He left them and walked to his crew.

  “You know what?” Arthur said as he turned to Guinevere and Merlin, “tomorrow I’m going out to that tree on top of the hill we stopped at the other night and check it out. It’s right next to a pond and maybe all it needs is a little watering and TLC.”

  Merlin arched his eyebrows, “TLC? What’s TLC?”

  Guinevere smiled as she explained, “Tender love and care.”

  “Oh, I get it.” He looked at them and said, “You know what? This may be offbeat but England survived over the years because of its navy. They always had a first rate navy that beat all of the other European navies.”

  Guinevere mumbled, “And their ships were made out of oak, right?”

  “Correct. English Oak. They used to call their navy, ‘the wall of wood’ because the enemy never really got past them.”

  “And young Drew said he’s having a hard time finding some?”

  “Well,” said Merlin, “maybe just in this area.”

  Guinevere nodded. “I have an idea.” She stood and called Drew over.

  He quickly returned and bowed. “Thou callest me, my Queen”

  “Yes, Drew. When you are cutting down trees, do you find many acorns about?”

  “Many indeed, my Queen. Wouldst thee like some?”

  “Yes, Drew, I’d like as many as you can gather up. Then I’d like you to put them in a barrel and tell everyone who is going out of Camelot Castle to grab a handful and, as they walk about, bury them in the earth.”

  “Yes my Queen. But, pray tell, what be thine reason?”

  “Because if everyone buries acorns each time they leave the castle, England will have large forests of oak trees.”

  “This be true, my Queen, but tis so long fer an acorn ta become a mighty oak tree, tis possible we might never see it in our lives.”

  She smiled. “Maybe not us, Drew, but our children or our grandchildren will see them. And should England need oak trees, they will be there because of us.”

  He looked at her with admiration as he said, “My Queen. Thou be the smartest person I knoweth. Thy word be my command and it shall be as thee asks.” He ran off to tell the others.

  Merlin stood and stretched. “Guys, I think I’m gonna hit the hay.” He giggled as he followed up with, “I just realized that I really mean it, as my bed is made of hay.” He walked off while Arthur and Guinevere laughed.

  They turned and entered their tent when a dozen young ladies stopped in front. They stood outside but their giggling got the queen’s attention and she put her head out.

  “Good evening, ladies. Are yee in need of me?”

  “Yes,” answered a small dark haired girl as she played nervously with her braids. “We wouldst show thee and King Arthur a surprise.”

  Perplexed but interested, Guinevere answered, “Wait right there, ladies. I shall get the king and follow thee.”

  “Arthur,” she said in a whisper to the form already lying under a blanket on top of the thick rugs. “Arthur, are you awake?”

  “Offf!” he said turning over. “I am now. Boy, it’s not easy sleeping on the ground and this wound of mine . . .”

  “Oww, stop with the wound thing,” she said and gave him a playful slap on his rump. “Some of the girls want to show us a surprise and I said we’d go with them.”

  He stretched and stood putting on his robe and slippers. “Okay, let’s go.”

  They went outside the tent and the giggling girls led them into the main tower and up the winding stairway by the light of the torches lining it.

  They went to the top floor and the little, dark haired girl said, “Sires, all this day hath we spent cleaning thy room an’ we look ta show it ta yee.”

  They separated and made a path allowing Arthur and Guinevere to see the open double doors of their room. Both entered and saw a fire roaring in the fireplace, a round, woven rug on the floor and the windows sporting thick, wavy glass, open and framed with new shutters. The night breeze made the candles in their wall-mounted holders dance and throw shadows playfully along the walls of stone. New, colorful tapestries were hung strategically around the room and a washbasin sat on a wooden table with fresh towels hanging next to it. A large wooden tub stood near the windows facing the English Channel and the wisps of steam rising from it said there was a hot bath ready for them. Finally, set against the far wall was a large four-posted bed, high off the floor with a thick mattress stuffed with down that matched the bed’s overstuffed pillows. Besides the blankets, the bed had the hide of a large deer at the bottom for chillier evenings. Centered above the bed and hanging by a chain was the wheel-shaped chandelier with its many candles around the rim, lit
.

  The silence was broken by the whisper from the nervous little girl, “Sires, doth thou like it?”

  Both Arthur and Guinevere turned and saw the girls huddled together with their eyes wide open for fear that they didn’t like it . . . and both opened their arms and embraced them.

  “Oh my,” said Guinevere with tears in her eyes, “It’s beautiful. Please believe us . . . we never had anybody do such a wonderful thing for us in our lives.” Arthur had a hard time speaking and he just hugged them. The happy girls left and with smiles on their faces closed the double doors behind them.

  Arthur eyes glistened in the candlelight as he said, “Their faces reminded me so much of ours back at Hollin’s House when we thought the Grinnells were going to be upset with us.”

  “Those days are gone for good, Arthur. Now, we have to remember them so we never act like those horrible people.”

  He looked in her eyes and said, “Maybe that’s why we were sent back. To learn a lesson and bring it back to these times and act it out.”

  She nodded and he saw tears starting to well up in her eyes. “C’mon,” he said with a smile, “That water’s not gonna stay hot all night.” He hopped on one foot as he started to remove a slipper, “Last one in stinks!”

  “Maybe that’s why the girls filled the tub up with hot water?”

  “Why?” he asked standing there on one leg.

  “Because, like you said, you stink.” She hopped past him and jumped in first.

  Right after morning-meal the next day, Arthur and Guinevere rode their horses over to the hill they had stood on the last night before reaching Camelot. He helped her down and they inspected the area.

  “It’s not as bad as I thought,” said Arthur as he looked around.

  Guinevere nodded and took a pitcher from the horse’s saddle and dipped it in the pond. She poured the cool water onto the roots of the tree and they stood watching the dry ground absorbed it as Arthur inspected the pond.

  “Hey, Guinevere. I think I know why the water seems to be so stagnant.” He pointed to a spot where the channel that fed it narrowed and was filled with weeds and twigs. “The water supply is almost choked off because of the mud and weeds that got trapped there.” He removed his boots, rolled up his pants and waded in. It took ten minutes for him to remove the debris and the water-flow increased immediately filling and almost overflowing the banks, insuring a steady source of water for the oak tree.

  “Arthur, this is a special place and I think we need to name it.”

  “Right. What’s a good name?”

  “I dunno. The first time we saw it was in the moonlight, so, maybe moon hill?”

  “What about, ‘Moonlight hill’?”

  She smiled as she said the name: ‘Moonlight Hill’. Yes, I love it.” She faced the tree and went on as she traced the carved heart with her fingernail, “I think we have to come here as often as we can to keep it clear and make sure our tree gets water.”

  He hugged her. “I agree.”

  They stayed for an hour just talking and removing weeds and dead branches before returning to Camelot Castle.

  Once back at Camelot, they finally got the chance to make the rounds of their castle. They started out on the flat roof of the castle. Besides lookout posts there was a rainwater-catching cistern for fighting fires and to supplement the fresh-water well located in the basement.

  “This would make a great place to put up some clotheslines for hanging wet clothes,” said Guinevere as she paced the open expanse.

  “Yeah,” said Arthur looking around. “And a gym to work out in.”

  They went down to the third floor and, besides their bedroom there were the rooms of their pages, their personal guarding knights and the guys of the Keansburg gang along with many of the others. On the second floor they saw that the woodworkers had built and installed a long table with bench-style seating in the center of a dining area. Around the curvature of the floor were the rooms of many of the groups and knights. The rooms on all of the floors were the same as their room, except they were much smaller with only one window.

  The main floor was almost empty except for the very large fireplace. The floor was the only one with a large, round, ten-inch high, wood floor held together by thick iron bolts.

  Down in the first basement they were amazed at the amount of rooms and doors in the vast area. There was a large sewing room where girls sat chatting as they created tapestry, needlepoint and rugs as well as clothing. They entered the kitchen and were rewarded with a glimpse of what the young cooks could do with the new pots, pans and supplies they purchased in the village . . . and they were treated to a few warm cookies.

  Going down to the very bottom floor of the basement they saw Garret and Lance working with three of the other young man on the fresh-water well while Merlin and James were opening and exploring the many rooms of the vast place. A section was set up for metalworking and had a large and growing array of weapons hanging on the wall.

  Outside between the main tower and the outside walls there were many smaller buildings containing living quarters for the support people, farmers and livestock. One of the larger buildings was the stable. It was connected to the outside of the wall but had an opening so you could enter from the inside of the main tower. This kept the smell of horse-waste to a minimum inside the castle.

  Before they sat for mid-day meal a group of knights and city officials from other provinces arrived to meet their King and Queen and all brought gifts and tax money. Once again they were warned of Sir Albert’s threats.

  That evening, Arthur, Guinevere, Merlin and all of the original Keansburg gang ate at the newly finished dining table on the second floor. Before they sat, Arthur and Guinevere walked around the outside of the tower, greeting all and making sure they had their hot meal from the kitchen. Once they were satisfied that all were fed, they returned and sat for the evening-meal.

  Half way through the meal, Merlin suddenly mumbled something as he looked up at the ceiling then down at the floor. He got up and retrieved a piece of parchment a quill and small ink jar from his pouch. The magician started to sketch as all looked at his strange behavior.

  Arthur tapped Guinevere and said, “Doesn’t Merlin remind you of the professor in the movie, ‘Back To The Future’?”

  She had to stifle a laugh as she nodded yes.

  Hey Merlin,” called Percy, “is everything okay?”

  Lucas grinned as he quipped, “I bet he has an idea to make something really big disappear.”

  The magician sat next to Guinevere and she asked, “Is all okay, Merlin?”

  He looked at her, then at Arthur and said, “I’ve got it! I’ve got it and I’ll show you after we eat.”

  The meal was finished and all followed Merlin as he took them down the stairs to the main floor. The fireplace was lit but just enough to make hot water.

  “Gentlemen,” he said pointing to the fireplace. “Please give me some roaring flame to better see this room by.”

  They grabbed the stacked wood and tossed it into the fire. Merlin walked around the circular room talking to himself as the fire grew, filling the opening and throwing light throughout the large room.

  Satisfied, he arranged the guys in a circle around the ten-inch high, round wooden floor. He turned to Arthur and Guinevere. “It was driving me crazy trying to figure out why all the castle floors are made of stone but the main floor has a raised wooden floor over the stone in the center of the room.”

  Arthur said, “Because the stone floors are cold and the wood floor will keep our feet warmer?”

  “Then why did they create a wooden floor that is twenty feet in diameter when the room is actually one hundred and twenty feet in diameter? Why not go wall-to-wall with it?”

  Gerry Haad ventured, “Maybe they only stood in the center of the room when they met?”

  Merlin smiled and said as he pointed at the boy, “Close! Very close, but no cigar.”

  “Do you have an idea about it
?” asked Guinevere.

  Merlin shook his head yes, and said as he rolled up his long sleeves and addressed the guys standing in a circle, “Yep! I’d like everyone to bend down and get a grip on the wood floor at their feet and lift on three.”

  They all bent down and got a grip on the edge of the wooden floor and as Merlin counted, “One-two-three,” they lifted and stood holding the floor almost level with their thighs. They all looked at each other with perplexed looks on their faces, then to Merlin.

  “What do we have here?” the magician asked.

  “A raised floor,” said Lucas with a laugh.

  “No,” said Arthur seeing it for what it really was. “Not a raised floor, a round table!”

  “Yes!” Said Merlin with a big grin, “The Round Table!”

  “Wow!” added Guinevere. “Merlin, you found it just as the history books said you did.”

  “Whoa!” said Garret, “If this is a table, where are the legs, dudes?”

  “We can lower it for now,” said Merlin, and once it was back on the floor he said to them, “If someone thought the table was important but it was too large to move, they’d remove the legs and it simply becomes part of the floor saving it for the future.”

  He dusted the dirt from his hands as he continued; “I bet the legs are hidden somewhere and just waiting to be set in place for its knights.”

  Arthur snapped his fingers and said, “I know where the legs are!”

  “Where?” asked Merlin.

  “Hanging above our bed. Whoever took the legs off the table hid them in right out plain sight. They simply took a wagon wheel, removed the spokes and replaced them with the legs. They are beautifully cut spokes and I thought whoever made the chandelier sure put a lot of time in making the spokes.”

  Within one hour the Round Table was reunited with its legs and standing upright in its place in the middle of the great hall on the main floor of Camelot.

  “First order of the day, tomorrow,” said Arthur, “is to get some real cool chairs to put around the table.”