Finding Kyler (The Kennedy Boys #1)

by Siobhan Davis

  “Now she grows a conscience,” he mutters under his breath.

  My retort dies on my tongue as more moans waft down the stairs. My insides twist into an acidic knot.

  “Oh, James,” Courtney rasps. “That feels so good.”

  Kyler spins around, grabbing me into his arms. He rests his head on my shoulder, and I can hear his heart pounding in his chest. I run my hand up and down his back in a soothing gesture.

  “You’d better leave. The kids will be home shortly.”

  “I hate all this sneaking around, James. You have to tell her.”

  “Courtney.” His loud sigh hints at exasperation. “Not now.”

  “Or not ever?” I don’t need to see her face to imagine the angry look on it.

  “We’ll talk this weekend.”

  Ky flattens his back against the wall, holding me flush against his body when they appear at the bottom of the stairs. His hand moves to my hair, and his fingers weave in and out of the thick strands.

  “I love you,” Courtney states breathlessly. I clamp my lips shut, muzzling my disgust. Kyler tightens his hold on me, and his entire body is one solid, stress-laden mass of pent-up rage. My face is pressed into his neck, and his scent is driving me insane with desire, so I don’t hear James’ reply, if there is one. The door snicks shut and footsteps ascend the stairs as James disappears into his office.

  I lean back and stare at Ky. All manner of emotions is skittering across his face. I cup his face, asking the most universally stupid question ever. “Are you okay?”

  Squeezing his eyes shut, he shakes his head. When he reopens them, his gaze has transformed. Prickles spring up all over my skin. Ky moves me to the side and purposefully storms toward the front door. My eyes pop wide as I dash after him.

  Courtney is reversing the car when I step outside. She curls her hand around the gear stick, preparing to leave, when she notices Ky making a beeline for her. Ky’s poisonous glare is enough to give the game away. A smug smile dances across her lips as she primly tucks her hair behind her ears. I wrap my hand around his biceps, urging him back inside. “Don’t. You’re playing right into her hands.” She’s enjoying this, and I don’t want to give her the satisfaction.

  His fists are clenched so tightly the skin on his knuckles blanches white. “She’s trying to destroy my family.”

  I plant myself in front of him, forcing him to focus on me. “This isn’t the way to fight back.” I gently place one hand on his chest. “Let her go. Come back inside.”

  Courtney’s eyes narrow suspiciously. “Say hi to Addison,” she calls out gleefully as she shoves the car into gear and screeches off down the driveway.

  “Ky.” I wave a hand in front of his face as he stares, dazed, after the departing car. “Please come back inside.”

  His gaze is fixated on Courtney, and there’s deadly precision in his eyes. “She’s lucky she’s a woman. That I can’t lay a hand on her.”

  He lets me pull him back into the house. James is at the bottom of the stairs with a frozen look on his face. Kyler drops my hand and lunges at his father, thrusting his fist in his face. James doesn’t fight back at first, and Kyler continues to land blows on his face and torso. I spring into action, wrapping my arms around his waist and tugging him back. “Stop, Ky.” He tries to shake me free, but I keep my arms locked firmly around his body.

  “Kyler. Please.” James holds up a hand. “I can explain.”

  “You disgust me.” I feel the fight leave his body, and I remove my hold on him. Kyler steps back, leaning against the balustrade. “You promised you were going to end things. But that was a lie, wasn’t it, Dad? You have no intention of finishing with her. Are you going to leave Mom for her?”

  James climbs to his feet and faces his son. “No. I’ll never leave your mom. I’ll make this right, but you need to let me do this my way. There are things you aren’t privy to, and believe me or not, I’m doing what I can to protect this family.”

  Ky’s jaw flexes in and out, and I can tell he’s close to breaking point. “I meant what I said earlier. If you don’t tell Mom, I will. I’m not going to stand by and watch you turn her into a joke. How many other employees has Courtney told about your affair? How many people work side by side with Mom every day knowing her husband is fucking her assistant?” His voice raises a few octaves until he’s yelling. “Have you given her any consideration at all?”

  “Of course, I’ve thought about your mother!” He rakes a hand through his hair. “I’m not proud of myself.”

  “It all makes sense now.” Ky flicks his hand in the air. “The hair, and the clothes, going out every night, acting like you’re young, free, and single again. Did she put you up to it, or are you stupid enough to think that it’d be enough to keep a slut like Courtney interested when you’re past your sell by date?”

  “That’s enough, Ky. I know I’m in the wrong here, but I’m still your father, and this is my house. You will act respectfully or not speak at all.” James surreptitiously nods in my direction.

  “This is Mom’s house. You haven’t worked a day in your life. And like I told you before, I’ll give you respect if you ever earn it. But until then”—he puts his face right into his dad’s—“you don’t get to tell me what to do.” He grabs his jacket and storms outside, rattling the door in his wake.

  “I bet you regret moving here now,” James says quietly.

  “It’s not like I had much choice,” I answer honestly.

  “I’ve ruined my relationship with all of them.” He hangs his head in shame, and as I look at his sorry ass, anger starts to boil inside me.

  “Get over yourself, James.” His head jerks up at my stern tone. “I’m not going to indulge your self-pity. You made this mess, and it’s up to you to fix it.”

  “I’m trying.”

  I step toward him until we’re toe-to-toe. “No. You’re not. We heard you arranging to meet her this weekend. Ky was right. You have no intention of ending things with her. At least be honest with yourself.” I let him see every ounce of disgust on my face, and at least he has the decency to look ashamed. “Do you still love Alex?”

  “Of course, I do! She’s the one who’s turned her back on me.” A pained look flits across his features.

  “I don’t need to know the intimate details, and I’m hardly an expert, but honesty is the cornerstone of trust. You can’t have one without the other. If you’re not being honest, then the trust is gone too. Is that why Alex looks so sad all the time?”

  He buries his head in his hands. “I know you think this is all on me—”

  “Oh my God!” I throw my hands in the air. “This is all on you! What is wrong with you? You need to man up and take responsibility for your actions. You need to tell Alex, and you need to tell her before Ky does. Don’t let your son carry that burden. Not if you hope to have any kind of relationship with him in the future.”

  He slowly nods. “You’re right. Ky’s right.” He sighs. “I’ll speak to her. I’ll tell Alex.”

  “See that you do.” I move past him, but he takes my arm, stalling me.

  “I’m sorry, Faye.”

  “I’m not the one you should be apologizing to.”

  “I owe you an apology too. I’ve let you down. I’ve let all you kids down, but I’ll make it up to you. I’ll make it up to Alex.” His voice becomes strangled. “If she’ll let me.”

  The honest regret on his face breaks through the temporary walls I’ve put up. He needs to understand all that’s at stake. He has a choice that I didn’t. An opportunity to repair the damage to his family. I need him to understand that, because the man in front of me is scared of facing reality.

  “Don’t shy away from this, James. Try everything in your power to fix it, because if you lose your family, there’s no coming back from that. The pain you will feel inside”—I emit a strangled sob befo
re composing myself—“is like nothing you’ve ever felt before.”

  Tears trickle down my face, but I don’t try to stop them. James stands uncertainly in front of me, and I can sense the conflict within. He wants to comfort me, but he’s afraid to.

  “I had no say in the matter,” I whisper, hugging my arms around my body. “My family was taken from me overnight without any warning. Without any chance to say goodbye. I thought I’d a lifetime of hugs and kisses to look forward to. An eternity of laughter and shared moments to experience. But it was all gone in the blink of an eye. My mum won’t see me graduate. My dad won’t get to walk me down the aisle. My parents won’t ever get to be grandparents.”

  Crunching pain ties my stomach into painful knots. “My family is gone. They’re never coming back. And I’m trying to find a way of existing when sometimes I feel as dead as them on the inside.” Turning, I face him with a fierce look. I wipe my sleeve across my damp face. “So stop feeling sorry for yourself. You fucked up, but it isn’t too late to fix it. Your family is still here. Fix it, James. Don’t let your family trickle through your fingers. Don’t blow it.” I beseech him with my eyes. “You’ve only got one family, and if you don’t make this right, it’ll destroy all of you.”

  Chapter Thirty

  Saturday dawns bright and early. After a leisurely swim, I eat breakfast and then set out on a mission to hunt Kalvin down. I rap loudly on his door three times. “Wakey, wakey, sunshine.”

  “Get lost!” is the less than cheery response.

  Offering up a silent prayer that I don’t find him visibly naked on his bed, I open his door and slip inside, shielding my eyes with one hand, just in case.

  A pillow whizzes by my head. “It’s the butt crack of dawn, woman. Go away and let me sleep.” Kalvin’s sleep-laden timbre is underscored by a layer of irritation.

  I pounce on his bed, and the mattress jiggles. Kal lifts his groggy head, cursing. “What is so urgent that it can’t wait?”

  “Who are you sneaking out to meet in the woods?”

  “Wow. Way to just put it out there.” Propping himself up on one elbow, he wipes the remnants of sleep from his eyes. The sheet falls down his body, pooling at his waist and exposing his bare chest.

  “Please tell me you’re not totally naked under there.”

  A devilish glint develops in his eye as he rolls flat on his back. “I always sleep naked.” He slides a hand under the sheet, palming his junk. “I’ll show you mine if you show me yours?” He winks.

  “You’re gross.”

  “I’m hot, and you know it.” He winks again.

  “And so modest, too.” I fail to suppress my smile.

  “Modesty is for pussies. I’ve a rocking body, and I know how to use it. I’m not ashamed to admit that. You gotta embrace your talents, you know?” He skims his hand over his crotch as he shoots me a sleazy grin.

  “I just puked in my mouth.”

  “Now, now, don’t be mean.” He mock pouts. “You wouldn’t be saying that if I was Ky.”

  “I’m not talking about jackass.”

  He snorts. “You two are hilarious. You should bang and get it out of your system.”

  “Because sex is the universal answer to every problem,” I deadpan.

  “I like that idea.” He bobs his head up and down.

  “You would.” I roll my eyes before turning serious. “Quit messing about. I know you’re deflecting.” I grab his wrist, stalling his movement. “And stop jerking off. It’s making me uncomfortable.”

  Amused eyes meet mine. “If I w—”

  “Do not go there again.” I momentarily close my eyes in exasperation. “We are not talking about Kyler, or me. We are talking about you and whomever you’re hooking up with on the sly. Please tell me it isn’t her. Please tell me you’re not that stupid.”

  He scoots up the bed, resting against the sideboard. The sheet slips a little lower, highlighting the V-shaped indents on either side of his hips and the thin trail of hair snaking lower. The bulge under the sheets is too pronounced to go unnoticed.

  Hell.

  “Admit it,” he teases, running his hand under the covers again, “You want this.” He starts pumping up and down.

  “I swear to God, Kal, if you don’t stop that right now I’m going to the kitchen to get a knife and then I’m coming back to castrate you. Don’t think I’m joking. If I wanted porn, I’d go download some. So stop being a sleaze, please. It’s disgusting.”

  “Relax, Mary Sue.” He holds both hands up in the air. “I’ll be a good boy now. But make this snappy so I can attend to business.”

  I slap a hand across my forehead as air whooshes out of my mouth in frustration.

  Finally, he takes pity on me. “Look, I’m not hooking up with Addison so you can chill out, okay?”

  “So why you creeping around the woods in the middle of the night?”

  “Need to know basis, right?” Reluctantly, I nod. “Well, it isn’t anything you need to know. I’m not doing the dirty with Addison in the woods. And”—he holds up a hand—“I haven’t talked to Ky yet, but I will. I’m waiting for the right time.”

  “You know there’s no such thing, right? Not when it comes to something like this.”

  “Okay, okay. Stop busting my balls. You have what you came here for, so I’m kicking you out of my room now. Unless you’re offering to help with my … situation?” He flashes me a mischievous grin. Yanking the covers off in one foul swoop, he lies before me in all his glorious nakedness. “Jesus!” I shriek, springing up like there’s a rocket up my ass. “Not in this lifetime.” I race toward the door trying to rinse the visual from my head.

  Pausing, I turn to face him as an idea hits me. Payback time. Quick as lightning, I whip up my top and flash him my bra. His mouth hangs open, and the corners of my mouth curve up. “Wank away, cousin dearest.” I’m laughing as I close his door, and crash, face-first, into a warm solid wall. His scent swirls around me and I don’t need to open my eyes to know who it is.

  “Do I even want to know?” Ky asks softly.

  I tip my head up as my hands somehow find their way to his remarkable chest. I press against him, stretching on my tiptoes until our mouths are a hair’s breadth from each other. A glimmer of lust bursts in his eyes, and need pulsates between my legs. “No.” I rasp, my voice low and husky.

  His fingers curl around the back of my neck sending a blanket of warmth cascading down my spine. He brushes a feather-soft kiss against my lips. Unbridled need tries to take command of me, but common sense wins the inner battle.

  Resist. Abort. Resist! Resist! Resist!

  As much as I crave his mouth on mine, one of us has to show some restraint. I shake my head, stepping out of his embrace. “Don’t,” I whisper, backing away. “Just don’t.”

  He hangs his head, nodding his acquiescence, and I turn and walk away.

  When I reach the lobby, James is coming down the stairs in low-hanging sweats and a white sleeveless shirt. His fascination with holding onto his youth is warped on so many different levels. “Good morning, Faye.”

  “Morning, James.”

  “Join me for coffee?” He asks as a loud yawn escapes his mouth.

  We take our coffee outside, sitting silently side by side, gazing out onto the imposing lawn. “I wanted to thank you,” James says a few minutes later. “For what you said yesterday. I’ve thought of nothing else all night.”

  “That’s good.”

  “I’m going to end things with Courtney today, and I’m going to talk to Alex tonight.”

  I chew on the corner of my mouth. “You’re doing the right thing.”

  He slurps his coffee. “I know, but it’s going to hurt her so much. I hate that.”

  “Maybe you should’ve thought of that before you started anything with Courtney.” My natural curiosity would
love to know how long it’s been going on and what prompted him to start an affair in the first place, but I know it isn’t my place or my business to inquire.

  “You think less of me now.” His eyes probe mine.

  I shrug, unsure how to answer. “We’re still only getting to know one another.”

  My reply doesn’t appear to faze him. “I’m proud of you, Faye. You have the courage to stand by your convictions. My baby sister raised you good. I’m proud of her, too.” I catch a glimpse of moisture in his eyes before he looks away.

  I smile. “They were great parents. Not perfect, but they did their best, and I loved them so much.” A solitary tear spills onto my cheek. “I miss them, every damn day.”

  Hesitantly, he stretches his arm around my back and nudges my head onto his shoulder. It’s not as awkward as I would’ve expected. “What was he like, your dad?”

  “He was wonderful.” I smile up at him. “He was always there for Mum and me. In a lot of ways, they were completely different, but it worked, you know? They were openly affectionate in front of me, and I know they really loved each other. He was a bit older than her, and his maturity offset her childishness, although he knew how to have fun, too. They were a great team.” My eyes trek to the woods, watching the trees sway in the gentle breeze.

  “I’m so glad your mother was truly loved. That you had a good upbringing.” His voice is congested with emotion. “Never a day went by where I didn’t worry about her. Old habits die hard, I suppose. She has shaped my life in so many ways.” He grows quieter.

  I peer up at him and we share a look. He opens and closes his mouth, as if he’s debating saying something. I lift my head off his shoulder and eyeball him. “What?”

  He wets his lips. “I think I know why your mom ran away from me.”

  Everything freezes inside me. “Don’t keep me in suspense.”

  Air whooshes out of his mouth. “She was pregnant with you and she must’ve been too afraid to tell me.”

  I scratch the side of my head, frowning. “But she had me when she was nineteen and you said she ran away when she was seventeen?”