Beefcake & Retakes

by Fennell, Judi

  Which was why, whatever pain Tanner’s visit would cause Juliet—or rather, whatever pain his leaving would cause her—it was worth it to see that spark in Nana.

  That’d been the hardest part of this—Nana had grit, something Juliet had always admired about her. So, to see her in her hospital bed and now, here at home, not recovering like they’d hoped… She couldn’t lose Nana, too. Not yet.

  That was why she’d gone to see Tanner. It’d taken Nana’s health to get her to finally get the courage to face him.

  She hadn’t been able to do so before because he’d end things between them. Any contact would be the impetus he’d need, so she’d waited until just before his birthday. She knew about his trust fund and she knew the mortgage on his parents’ place was what had gotten him into the marriage. It wasn’t hard to put two and two together.

  And while Nana’s health was her excuse, the reality was, she’d wanted to see him and had been looking for an excuse. One last time. That’s all she’d wanted.

  Well, not quite all. You’d like to stay married to the guy—and make it a real marriage. Not this name-only crap.

  They’d been too good together for that.

  “Hi, Mrs. Chambers.” Tanner strode into the room, all Texas big and hunky. He was the quintessential All-American guy, filling the stereotype as well as he filled out his jeans.

  She should not be looking at his jeans. Especially after that thought.

  Hell, she shouldn’t be having that thought.

  “Mrs. Chambers?”

  Nana pushed herself to standing and Juliet almost fell to the floor in shock. Must be an adrenaline surge because of her outrage or something. Nana needed help just to sit up whenever Juliet was around.

  “Why, Tanner Wentworth. You stopped calling me Mrs. Chambers in fifth grade and I’m not going to let you revert back to it. Mrs. Chambers is my mother-in-law, God rest her soul, and you know it.”

  Tanner’s smile was every bit as devastating as Juliet remembered. “I’m sorry, Nana.”

  “That’s better. Now give me a hug like you mean it.”

  Words Juliet wanted to say to him herself.

  “I’m so glad to hear about you and Juliet.” Nana patted Tanners’ biceps when he released her from the gentle hug.

  Tanner had always known his own strength. When Juliet had needed him to be tough and strong, he had been. When she’d needed him to be gentle he’d done that, too. And she wasn’t talking about sex. Well, not totally.

  Oh, hell. This was going to be a lot tougher than she thought to pull off. And she didn’t mean pretending to her grandmother—no, there was no pretense there. She wanted Tanner back. Pretending to Tanner that she didn’t, that was going to be the true test.

  “You’re looking well. I see living up north is agreeing with you.” Her grandmother cupped his cheeks and Juliet had to look away. Nana loved him so much—had since the first time Juliet had told her she wanted to marry him back when they were nine. Then again at twelve. And thirteen. And pretty much every year since.

  “The winters took some getting used to, but I don’t miss the heat.”

  “But you’ve missed Juliet, so you’ll just have to get used to the heat again.” Nana reached behind her for the chair.

  Tanner helped her into it.

  Juliet tried not to sigh at the tenderness he had for her grandmother. He was such a good man and she should never have doubted him.

  “Would you like some of that cheesecake you love? Ermalinda made it when she heard you were coming.”

  “That’d be great. Thanks.” Tanner had always loved Ermalinda’s cheesecake. To this day, their housekeeper wouldn’t tell them the recipe, but she’d make it for special occasions, and she considered Tanner’s return one indeed. She’d loved him as much as the rest of them had.

  Another person’s whose hopes would be dashed when he eventually left.

  “Tanner.” Dad walked into the room and held out his hand. “Thank you for coming.”

  Kudos to Dad for saying that. He hadn’t been thrilled with Tanner walking out either time and was only suffering through being polite for his mother’s sake. And Juliet’s. But if he knew Tanner was going to be leaving again, he probably wouldn’t be quite as civil.

  Juliet would deal with that when the time came. Right now, she needed everyone’s reactions to be as real and as normal as possible in the scenario she’d created.

  Now if she could just get her own under control.

  “Juliet, honey, would you ask Ermalinda to bring the cheesecake?”

  “No need, Señora. I heard the car arrive.” Ermalinda walked in with the pizza-sized dish that she baked the cheesecake in. No one knew how she cooked it so evenly in that big pan, but the results were always the same: amazing. “Miss Juliet, if you could get the dishes and lemonade, por favor?”

  Nana had always been Señora, while Juliet had always been Miss Juliet since Ermalinda had started working for them after… well, after Nana had come to live with them. And even after Juliet got married, she’d still been Miss to Ermalinda.

  Sadly, that’s what she’d felt like to herself, no matter the fact that her driver’s license still had Wentworth on it.

  “Sure.” She shook off the sad mood, headed into the kitchen, keeping an ear on the conversation. Tanner was here now and that was what mattered.

  Well, that and getting him to stay.

  “Seven years is a long time,” Nana, never one to mince words, said to him. “Have you seen your parents yet?”

  “Not yet.”

  Tanner’s voice was strained. He’d been at odds with his parents ever since he’d found out about his father’s gambling. Thank God Tanner’s grandfather had set up the trust that no one could touch because Mr. Wentworth had owed everyone, putting her father’s and his joint business venture at risk. Dad had had to bail him out, taking the mortgage on the Wentworth ranch as collateral.

  But he’d done it to help his friend, not keep him under his thumb. Granted, it’d helped put an end to Mr. Wentworth’s access to the business accounts, but when Tanner had found out—and when Dad had used it as leverage to get him to marry her—things had become strained not only between her father and Tanner, but also Tanner and his dad. He’d said more than once that he was paying for the sins of his father through his feelings for her.

  And she’d made it possible.

  “I’m glad you and Juliet have worked out your differences. Losing a child is never easy and I know the situation hasn’t been optimal”—there went Nana with her knack for understatement—“but there is so much love between you two and always has been that I knew you’d work it out. I’m just glad I was able to live to see it happen.”

  Juliet gripped the tray of lemonade, dishes, and glasses harder as she headed back into the living room. That was why she’d had to do this; she’d been so scared Nana would die. She couldn’t take another loss.

  Tanner cleared his throat. “I’m very sorry to hear about your stroke. Juliet didn’t tell me until last week.”

  “I know. I wouldn’t let her. You two needed to figure out your relationship for yourselves, not because of me. You’re not doing it because of me, are you, Tanner?”

  “Mrs. Chambers—I mean, Nana.” He took Nana’s hand in both of his. “I’m doing this because of Juliet. Make no mistake about that. This is all about Juliet and me.”

  Damn, the man was good, saying so much her grandmother wanted to hear but meaning something completely different to her.

  Dad, however, was looking at Tanner with narrowed eyes. Granted, he’d been looking at him that way ever since they’d gone from childhood friends to ones with benefits, but her father was shrewd. He might be upset over his mother’s stroke, but when it came to other matters, he was still as sharp as a tack.

  Great, now she was going to have to ramp up her disinformation game to convince him, too, that she and Tanner were madly in love again.

  So she set the tray down, then walked over t
o Tanner to put her hand on his shoulder. She’d been looking for an excuse to touch him again. She’d always wanted to touch Tanner. Hold his hand, rub his back, lean against him… Before, she’d never needed a reason and had always been touching him. It’d been as natural as the love she’d felt for him—and had turned her on every time.

  This time was no different.

  Tanner tried not to flinch when Juliet’s hand landed on his shoulder. It was hard enough to pretend to be the happy husband back for round three when he wanted to walk out of the room and never see any of them again.

  Nana wasn’t making this easy, and anger was radiating off Juliet’s father in waves. Not that Tanner could blame him, but the guy needed to revisit the situation and see that it was his daughter who’d created it not only with the first set-up but the second as well.

  Yes, Tanner probably shouldn’t have given in and taken her to bed after college, but he’d been trying to put his heart back together and Juliet had known just how to draw him in. She always had, from that first kiss in the barn when he’d tried so hard to stay away from her, but she’d been having none of it. Then there were times when she’d pulled him into the truck cabs and the back room at the warehouse with her when there’d been no other place else to go.

  His body heated at the image of her straddling him in that office chair, the thought of getting discovered as thrilling as the act they were doing.

  God, he’d loved her once.

  Her fingers squeezed his shoulder as if she was reading his mind.

  She squeezed again. Two more times.

  Oh, right. Their signal.

  Shit. He didn’t want to remember that. Didn’t want to do this, but her grandmother would notice—her father would, too—if he didn’t, and he’d come here to play a part for a sick woman, so play it he’d better.

  He reached up and grasped Juliet’s fingers in his, tapping them against his shoulder three times like they’d done for years. Everyone knew it was their signal, their “I love you” taps. They’d started it in high school and it’d been one more part of their cute-couple arsenal that had put them on the homecoming court and awarded them the prom crowns as well as Cutest Couple in the yearbook.

  He’d thrown his yearbook away when he’d moved out.

  Thankfully, Ermalinda passed out the cheesecake then so he could release Juliet’s fingers. He took the plate, not having to fake his gratitude. For many reasons. Ermalinda’s cake really was amazing. She’d told him she’d bequeathed the receipt to him in her will. He’d told her that he never wanted to have the recipe so she would just have to stay around so she could make it for him forever.

  He’d missed her. He’d missed all of them, actually. But if he had come back, he would’ve seen Juliet. It’d been hard enough to stay away from her halfway across the country; forget it halfway across town.

  And what about halfway across her house?

  Yeah, that wasn’t going to be easy.

  “So what have you been up to, Tanner?” Juliet’s father asked.

  Juliet choked on the lemonade.

  He ought to tell the guy the truth. Let them all know he was stripping for a living. He wasn’t embarrassed about it, but they would be and it wasn’t fair to take his anger at Juliet out on Nana. Though, actually, Nana had always called it like it was; she might get a good laugh at what he did.

  Mr. Chambers, however, would be horrified.

  That was almost enough incentive to tell them.

  But Juliet was the one he’d wanted to have know what he did for a living. He’d like to know what she really thought about it. She’d been all cool in the car, saying she didn’t have the right to have a say, but he knew her. Hell, it was half the reason he’d started doing it initially. She’d pulled her stunt because she’d been upset that other women wanted him? He hadn’t given her reason back then, but now was a whole other matter.

  Probably childish, but the job paid really well and let him live his life. And he had the added perk of knowing it’d bug her—though fat lot of good it’d done him when she hadn’t even known until she’d shown up in the club.

  She’d watched him; he’d felt her eyes on him. He’d always known when Juliet was looking at him. Had it turned her on?

  On second thought, maybe he didn’t want to know what Juliet thought.

  “I’m in land acquisition.” Well, now that he was going into business with Gage and Bryan he was.

  “That’s new.” Mr. Chambers glanced at Juliet before looking at him.

  Tanner kept his features composed. He and Juliet should have gone over that aspect of their story, but it was too late now.

  He was supposed to have gone into business with her father. The joining of two ranching properties. Mr. Chambers was pro-active when it came to growing the business, and he’d wanted the person who’d take over upon his retirement to have a vested interest in seeing the ranch and other industries do well.

  Truth be told, Tanner had looked forward to working with Mr. Chambers. To growing the business for his own children and grandchildren. Children that had been on hold since Juliet’s “little ploy.”

  Tanner’s breath caught in his throat and he had to cough it out. He could never get through thinking of his son without that skipped heartbeat. As if one of his had been taken from him.

  “What projects do you have going?”

  He focused on the question and shoved the awful memories to the back of his mind. It was the best way to deal with them. “A couple commercial properties. They’re in the prelim stages at the moment.” Very prelim.

  “I’d be interested in hearing about them.” Mr. Chambers actually lost the gruffness to his voice that’d been there ever since he’d first confronted him about Juliet’s pregnancy all those years ago.

  “I’m sure we can work something out.” Tanner nodded at him, the implication being that he’d be around to talk about the projects.

  “You were always such a go-getter, Tanner.” Nana patted his knee, sending guilt shooting up through his heart. “You’ve done this family proud.”

  In another life, those words would have meant something to him. But now… They were based on so many of Juliet’s lies Tanner didn’t feel as if he had a rightful part in any of this.

  So he just smiled and bit into Ermalinda’s cake, saluting her with his second forkful. “Maravillosa como siempre, Ermalinda.”

  She beamed at him and dropped a kiss on the top of his head as she took Nana’s plate which had a decent portion of the pie gone. From what Juliet had said, he’d thought Nana was withering in bed, so to see her in the living room with a decent appetite was a good thing.

  It also made him wonder if Juliet had overplayed the seriousness of Nana’s illness.

  He winced. A stroke at any age was nothing to make light of. He should be thankful Nana was able to be out here—and he was. But he hated that he had to wonder at all.

  “Juliet’s not doing so badly in that department either,” Mr. Chambers said, taking the seat beside her and patting her hand. “She’s done a great job running the business while, well, while I’ve been taking care of my mother.”

  “I’m just sad it’s taken this to get you to slow down, Burt.” Nana’s voice was sharp. “I’ve told you for years that Juliet was more than capable of taking care of things.”

  “Yes, Mother, you did.”

  Mr. Chambers’ voice was soft in a way Tanner had never heard before. But maybe that was because he’d been the recipient of a sharp, questioning tone from the man.

  “So, Tanner.” And there it was: that tone. “You are planning to stay this time, aren’t you? That’s why you came back, right?”

  “I came because it’s time Juliet and I did something about our marriage.” And if that gave Mr. Chambers hope it was because the man wanted to find hope in that statement. But Tanner was going to do his damnedest not to lie to them. Didn’t mean he had to come clean with the whole truth, but he wasn’t going to lie outright if he could help it
.

  “Marriage isn’t easy, son. You have to be committed to making it work.” Mr. Chambers crossed his arms and sat back. From what Juliet had told Tanner over the years, her father had been devastated by his wife leaving. It’d hardened him, so when he’d insisted that Tanner marry Juliet—both times—it hadn’t been an arbitrary thing. He’d expected Tanner to marry her and stick around.

  Tanner had been all for it—until he’d found out what Juliet had done.

  “Daddy.” Juliet settled on the arm of Tanner’s chair. “You don’t need to say things like that.”

  Because she didn’t want to risk Tanner’s reply.

  She’d caught the double entendres in his responses to her father; she didn’t know how many of Dad’s comments Tanner could take before he’d reveal the truth, and that was something she couldn’t have. Nana had such a smile on her face and was more alert than Juliet had seen her in the last three weeks. And even before the stroke.

  “Perhaps I do, Juliet. I’ve kept quiet for too long. Maybe if I’d said something sooner, we wouldn’t have had to wait until now for you two to put everything back the way it should be.”

  Tanner tensed beside her. Yes, his patience was nearing its end. And she couldn’t blame him, not really. He was doing this because he loved her grandmother, not because he loved her. Of that she had no illusions.

  Once upon a time, yes… He’d loved her enough to have done anything for her. Well, except get engaged. Said they were too young. He’d had college and hopefully a pro career, and he wanted to wait until he could do it the right way.

  As far as she’d been concerned, the right way had been to put a ring on her finger—she wouldn’t have cared if it’d come from a caramel-corn box—but he hadn’t seen it that way. What she’d seen was that he hadn’t wanted to claim her. She’d also seen the way the other girls looked at him. She’d watched them touch him as they’d walked past him. Tanner was a god among the Texas gods and every girl had wanted him, especially her.