Beefcake & Retakes
Page 17
Juliet didn’t want to end up alone. But she didn’t want just anyone either. No, she wanted Tanner and she had a feeling no one else would ever measure up. Which didn’t bode well for her future.
“Was he really so much in love with… Elaine?” She’d never been able to refer to her as her mother when talking about her; it made the woman’s defection too personal.
Nana’s lips twisted as if she’d sucked on one of those lemon sticks she’d bought Juliet at the town fair every year when she’d been younger. “I think it was that he was so disillusioned with her. It wasn’t easy when she left him. He had a business to run, a child to raise and help cope, and then, to top it off, the gossip to deal with.”
Gossip was just one reason Juliet hadn’t wanted anyone to know Tanner had left her. The other was the irrepressible hope that he hadn’t. Not for good.
She looked at him, willing him to understand why she’d done what she’d done. Why they could still make this work.
He was looking through another album.
“Oh my goodness, will you look at this?” Nana held up a photo from one of the countless company barbeques her father had held here at the ranch. “I have that hideous pouf on the top of my head. Someone should have told me I looked ridiculous.”
The change in subject was definitely called for. “I think you look beautiful, Nana.”
“Yes, well, you’re biased, dear.” Nana slid the picture to Tanner. “Now tell me, Tanner. Do you find this hairstyle attractive on a woman?”
“Depends on the woman.” He winked at Nana and the two of them laughed.
It was so good to hear Tanner laugh. Juliet hadn’t forgotten that deep belly laugh he had, but it hadn’t been forefront in her mind because she’d so rarely heard it over the last decade.
Though he’d laughed last night when she’d found one of his ticklish erogenous zones.
It’d been a pure, honest moment of happiness that had turned heated in the next second. She hadn’t minded, obviously, but she would have liked to have heard his laugh a little longer, knowing she’d caused it.
“Look at this.” Nana held up another photo. “Isn’t that that cheerleader who thought she was your best friend? What is she doing here?”
Tanner took the photo. “Yes, it’s Delia. I think she’s trying to figure out how to dive into the pool without getting her hair wet.”
“That girl doesn’t have two brain cells to rub together. Though I’ve heard she’s good at finding rich husbands.”
“Plural being the operative part of that statement.” Tanner flicked the picture onto the table.
“Yes, well, not everyone can have Juliet’s intelligence. Beautiful and smart. Tanner, you are a lucky man.”
Thankfully, Nana looked down at the next photograph so she didn’t see Tanner raise his eyebrows, but Juliet did.
Her back got a little straighter. Okay, so she’d done some ill-advised things in the past, but not maliciously. And she was so much more than those two bad decisions and he ought to remember that because he had loved her for a reason back then, and she, fundamentally, was that same person. Especially after last night.
Tanner might not be in love with her now, but he’d definitely been in lust with her last night.
Thankfully, Nana kept pulling out non-controversial photos. The town’s Community Day celebrations, football games, vacations, barbeques, block parties... All good memories.
Tanner pulled another album out of the box and set it on the table.
His smile got tight when he opened the cover.
“Oh, look at how happy you two are here.” Nana pointed to one of the photos.
Juliet leaned over. It was an un-posed shot someone took while they’d been waiting for the photographer to set up the lighting for their official engagement photo—the first engagement—under the magnolia tree in the front yard.
Tanner was looking at her with undisguised happiness. His smile was as big as she’d ever seen it and he’d put a hand on the back of her neck, drawing her in so their foreheads touched. She remembered what he’d whispered to her at that moment: “I will love you forever, Jules. I couldn’t be happier.”
And then he hadn’t been.
“And this one.” Nana pointed to the next one. Their engagement party when their friends had decorated the chairs like thrones and made a crown of the gift bows for each of them. God, the laughter.
And her belly.
Keegan had been there. She remembered him kicking inside her all afternoon. They’d joked that he wanted to come out and party—a chip off the old block. But they couldn’t agree on which block, hers or Tanner’s.
“Uh, I just remembered I wanted to ask Burt something.” Tanner shoved his chair back and headed toward her father’s office.
She couldn’t blame him.
That picture… She slipped it from the jacket in the album. It was both heartbreaking and unbelievably happy at the same time. This was how they should be.
How they could be.
“There will be more babies, Juliet.” Nana’s hand covered hers with surprising strength.
“I hope so.” But they wouldn’t be Tanner’s.
“Have faith. You and Tanner, you’ve gone through so much and have come out stronger for it. I have to believe that you will live a long and happy life together.”
That’s right; Nana had to believe it. At least for a little while.
Juliet bit her lip as she put the photo back in the album. This was the hard part, pretending it was all true when she so very much wanted it to be and it wasn’t.
She shouldn’t have slept with him last night. She was going to have to watch him walk out of her life for a third time, and she had a feeling this would be the worst. Because then there’d be nothing to bring him back.
Tanner headed through the first open door he found, then bent over, hands braced on his knees and tried to catch his breath. Those photos… God, those photos had sucked the air right out of him. His life had been right where he’d wanted it and then… It’d been gone.
“If you’re looking for my daughter, she’s not here.”
Tanner shot up. Shit. This was her father’s office and her dad was sitting with his feet propped on that massive desk that had always made Tanner feel as if he were being called to the principal’s office.
Now was no different.
“My, uh, back. It was giving me some trouble.” He planted his hands on his lower back and stretched for good measure.
“I imagine all that dancing you do can give you some sore muscles.”
“Danc—” He stopped stretching. “You know?”
Mr. Chambers—Burt—planted his feet on the floor and pressed on his desk to stand up. “Tanner, there’s not much about you I don’t know. Except maybe why you’re here. Though I have a pretty good guess about that as well. You might have Juliet fooled, but I’m not blinded by love for you.”
The guy had liked him at one point. The one right before he’d found out Juliet was pregnant.
Probably wouldn’t endear him to him to point out that it’d taken two to get her in that state, though to be honest, it’d only taken one: Juliet. With a pin-pricked condom.
Yeah, not something a father needed to hear. “I’m here because your daughter asked me to come. Because she loves you and her grandmother, and wants everyone to be happy.”
“And you? Why’d you come? Do you want everyone to be happy, too? Is that why you waited seven years to come home? A big celebration?” He rapped the desk twice with his knuckles. “Absence making the heart grow fonder?”
Tanner reined in his anger at the mocking tone in his voice. The guy was still Juliet’s father and wanted what was best for his daughter. If his own father had had a thought like that, he wouldn’t have had to marry Juliet because there would have been no mortgage to hold over his head. “Look, Burt, I don’t want to fight with you. We both care about Juliet—”
“You have a shitty way of showing it.”
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br /> “Hey—” Tanner bit back the harsh words he wanted to say and scraped his hand over his mouth. “Look, this situation isn’t optimal for any of us, but we’re doing our best. It’d help if you’d—”he wanted to say back off, but that would only make their relationship more tense—“give us the privacy and time to deal with this. Juliet doesn’t need you encouraging her to go out with other guys.”
Her father shoved his hands in his pants pockets and raised an eyebrow. “Seriously? That’s what’s got you all pissed off?” He walked around from behind the desk and leaned against the front, resting one ankle over the other and crossing his arms. “It’s been seven years, Tanner. Seven. Do you really expect me to believe that you’ve remained celibate all that time? You might have Juliet fooled, but a guy who does what you do for a living? Please. I’m not that naïve.”
“I haven’t slept with anyone since Juliet.”
“I don’t care, frankly. I don’t care if you’ve been a monk. The problem is, you haven’t been a monk here. You haven’t been here at all. My daughter deserves better. I know you have your nose bent out of joint about the whole wedding thing, but if you’d learned your lesson from the first go-round and kept it in your pants, it wouldn’t have played out the way it did. All you had to do was respect my daughter by putting an engagement ring on her finger before taking her to bed. But you couldn’t do that, could you? Even had the gall to do it in my own home. Were you planning for me to find out?”
Oh hell. The guy didn’t know. Juliet’s father didn’t know that she’d set him—them—up.
It was on the tip of Tanner’s tongue to tell him, but… What would that prove? It was in the past. Did he really want to destroy the guy’s illusions of his daughter just to be vindicated? In five and a half weeks, it wouldn’t matter. And given Nana’s improvement since he’d arrived, it might not even be half that time. Tanner had nothing to gain by telling her father the truth, and for all Juliet that had put him through, he didn’t want to destroy her relationship with her father. He didn’t hate her.
Maybe he should, but he’d loved her for so long that he just couldn’t.
“You know…” Burt unfolded his arms and legs and walked over to the mini bar in the corner. “This could have been so different if you’d stuck around.” He took a tumbler from the glass-fronted cabinet and poured two fingers. He offered it to Tanner.
Tanner waved it away. The last thing he needed was a fuzzy head when dealing with her dad.
“I would have given you the mortgage, you know. Can’t have my grandchildren’s grandparents indebted to me. It would have gone away. But instead, you did. I know all about your trust fund, Tanner. Your father told me about it years ago. I want it. I’m calling in the mortgage on your thirtieth birthday. If your dad can’t come up with the funds—which he can’t—you’re going to. And it’s going straight into a trust for Juliet that you can’t touch. Because if you think you can come here and pretend to want to be married to her so that you can get half of it in a divorce settlement, you have another thought coming.”
Tanner was shaking he was so angry and had half a mind to tell the guy all about Juliet’s promise, but if he did, Burt would find some way to prevent it.
He wanted his parents’ mortgage; Juliet owed him that. And he wanted his trust fund so he could go into business with Gage and Bryan. He had to keep his cool and let Burt think he’d won.
Instead, he gripped the arms rests, and, for the second time in his life—and both within the space of twenty-four hours—he lied to her father. “You go right ahead, Burt, and call it in. What do you think I was going to do with the trust fund anyway? Once I pay it off, you have no hold over me.”
“Good. I’m glad we agree on something. Finally. You’ll pay it off, and then you can let my little girl have her life back. Let her move on and find someone who appreciates her.” He tossed back the whiskey, slammed the tumbler on the bar, then strode out through the French doors to the back yard, leaving Tanner to process what he’d just said.
Juliet with another guy.
He shouldn’t find that strange. What did he think she’d do when he divorced her? Join a convent? Did people still do that?
Tanner shook his head. Seriously. What had he thought? That Juliet would live the rest of her life alone?
She wanted children. Thirty was a good age. She could still have the family she’d wanted.
But she’d wanted it with him. And he’d wanted one with her.
You could still have it.
He wanted to listen to that little voice. Wanted to believe that it was possible. But how could he ever trust her again? Trust, once broken, was so hard to regain.
Especially since she was out there lying away to her grandmother.
And you’re in here doing it to her father… what’s the difference?
Tanner stood up. He was doing it because Juliet had asked him to. Because she’d bribed him to.
So you’re doing it to benefit yourself. And you’re different from Juliet, how? Pot, I’d like you to meet Kettle.
Well… shit. Tanner leaned against the edge of her father’s desk. He didn’t like the parallel. But he wasn’t going to ignore it.
She had something he wanted, so he was doing what he needed to to get it.
Juliet had wanted him; she’d done what she’d needed to to get him.
It sounded similar, but there was a difference between a mortgage and a life.
Really? That’s your justification?
He shook his head, pushed off the edge of the desk and headed toward the door. It wasn’t a pretty truth he was facing, but it was one nonetheless.
How could he be mad at her when he was doing the exact same thing?
***
“Juliet? Can I see you for a minute?” Tanner poked his head around the corner from her father’s office.
She wanted him to see her for a lot longer than a minute, but she’d take the opportunities when she got them.
“Go, dear.” Nana patted her hand. “I’ll put all the pictures back. Good therapy. Beats digging for clothespins in a bucket of rice like the therapist had me do. Go see what your husband wants.”
Husband.
Juliet pushed herself up from the table with shaky hands at that thought. This just kept getting more and more difficult.
“What’s up?” She followed him into her father’s office and tugged the door closed behind her. “Where’s my dad?”
“He walked out back.” Tanner headed toward her father’s desk.
She followed him. “Why? What’d you say to him?”
He turned around. “More like what he said to me.”
That didn’t sound promising. “What’d he say?”
Tanner raked his fingers through his hair. “It’s not important now. We just had a meeting of the minds. Set the record straight.”
“You’re scaring me.”
“No need to be scared. Your father wanted to make sure I knew where he stood. And I do. It’ll be fine.”
She planted herself in front of him and stuck her hands on her hips. “That’s not making me feel any better.”
He sighed and raked his hand over his mouth. “It will be. I mean, look at your grandmother. She’s better today than when I first got here. She’s improving by leaps and bounds. I think she’ll be strong enough to handle the truth. But I didn’t tell your father about the plan. I didn’t want to give him any more reasons to be upset.” He brought his hands to her shoulders. “I wouldn’t make his life—or yours—any tougher right now. I just told him that we need time and he needs to respect that.”
Time was the one thing they didn’t have because Tanner was right; Nana was getting better—and quicker than Juliet had thought she would. Not that she was complaining, obviously, but she’d thought she’d have more time with him. “Doesn’t seem like he did much respecting since he walked out on you.”
“That’s not a bad thing, actually. It’s not like we’re best friends.”
He sighed and removed his hand. Juliet felt the loss immediately.
“I wish a lot of things, Jules, but I’m dealing with the cards I’ve been dealt. As are all of us. Let’s focus on that.”
She wanted to just lean into him. Wrap her arms around him and tell him she loved him.
Instead, she cleared her throat and linked her hands in front of her. “So, why did you call me in here? What did you need?”
In a perfect world, he’d say he needed her.
But her world had been far from perfect since she’d made the decision that had changed everything.
Her. He needed her.
Tanner took a step back. Was he out of his mind? He shouldn’t need her.
Damn, last night shouldn’t have happened; it was putting crazy thoughts into his head. Like the ones he’d almost shared with her father. “I just wanted to make sure you’re okay. You looked like you could use a break. You know, from those pictures.”
He’d seen both stricken looks and haunted looks, and one glimpse of laughter in the ten minutes he’d been watching her after her father walked out, leaving him alone with his thoughts.
His thoughts weren’t such a good place to be right now. They ran the gamut of wanting to get the hell out of here to wanting Juliet in here with him.
Choosing the latter should have surprised the hell out of him, but hadn’t.
Just like last night hadn’t really shocked him either. Going to bed with Juliet had seemed like the most natural thing in the world, even with the seven years of silence between them.
That ought to have him running for the first plane out of town, but his integrity wouldn’t allow him to renege on their deal.
“I…” Juliet tucked some hair behind her left ear. She always chose the left; never the right. Just one more random thing he remembered about her. “I’m okay. The pictures of… You know—”
“I know. It’s why I had to leave the table.”
“She didn’t pull out the other pictures.”