by Sandra Cole
I really didn’t like to admit I was wrong. That didn’t feel good at all, but maybe… just maybe I was wrong about everything.
“Okay, so those pills should keep you going,” said Mike with a grin to a bedridden female patient. Mike hadn't spotted me yet. “But you come back at the first time you need to.”
“Thank you, doctor, you’re amazing,” said the patient.
The patient was human, but I could see when she pushed her hair to one side that she had metallic tendrils beneath the skin behind her ear. Despite that, she was staring up at Mike with adoration, and maybe something more too…
What the hell was wrong with me? I seemed to be the only person on the planet who had any kind of problem with what Craig and Mike and the cyborgs were doing here. Why was I the only person who was conflicted about this place? Other humans may hate the cyborgs, but not many of them knew what I knew.
As if a magnet was drawing us together, Mike's eyes finally reached up to look at me. His whole expression froze. He clearly wasn’t sure if I was about to scream and yell again or if I was here for more. To be perfectly honest I wasn’t totally sure myself.
“Hi,” he mouthed cautiously at me, seemingly not sure what to make of me being here in the hospital.
“Hi,” I replied, feeling a smile spread across my face involuntarily. I’d spent so long being angry about things that I hadn’t actually allowed myself to feel any relief that my brother wasn’t dead.
He wasn't dead! I’d felt alone in the world, but now I wasn’t anymore. I should have been celebrating! I had a family again, however strange things were. It might not have been the family I was expecting, but at least I wasn’t alone in the world anymore!
Mike glanced down at his watch before making the ‘ten minutes’ sign at me with his hands, to which I nodded happily. I wanted to talk to him alone, without Craig there poisoning my thoughts. The best chance to do so was here, in the hospital.
I was still confused, but not painfully so. Now my mind felt clear enough for me to make my own decisions on this. Maybe there wasn’t any clear right answer here. Maybe there wouldn’t be any clear winner or loser. Maybe I just needed to figure out what I felt was worth fighting for. If I could see this as a resistance against both sides, not just as ‘Craig’s Group’ then it was a lot clearer which side I was on.
I supported the resistance. It was fighting for choices, for options, for love that others didn’t get. This side supported my brother, and my feelings for Javier. What more could I ever want?
***
“How are you doing?” Mike asked me, as we finally got some privacy in his office. “I’m so sorry, I can’t even begin to imagine how hard this must be for you…”
“I’m trying not to think about how this is for me anymore,” I told him regretfully. “I think I’ve been selfish, panicking about my own hurt. I haven’t thought about you at all. I haven’t considered what your life must have been like, and how you’ve had to protect yourself.”
“Maybe we’ve all made mistakes,” he said. As he smiled kindly at me, I stopped seeing the cyborg side of him and only focused on the human him instead. “It’s hard living this life when it’s obvious I don’t fit in with either side, but it’s progress too. I’ve been helping some of the other doctors and scientists come up with a way to make a hybrid body much less detectable. I was a test run, a sample basically, but things are improving all the time.”
“That’s incredible,” I replied with a tear in my eye. “All of this… it’s just a little much. I've spent so much of my life hating the cyborgs, being on a war footing.”
“I know, sis,” he said. He stood up and walked around to me, pulling me in for a hug. While he held me I realized just how much I’d missed him, how intensely losing had affected me, and how glad he was back. With him here I felt home, like I had my family back once more. “But it’s going to be fine, you just have to believe.”
“I spoke to Rachel today,” I admitted, pulling back from him. “She made me see it all a bit differently. She and Flint are making it work, despite everything stacked against them.”
“Yeah, they’re great,” he grinned happily. “I really respect them for just going with it. They’ve found a love and nothing will keep them apart.”
I bit down on my lip, wondering if he’d feel the same way if it were me. Half of me didn’t want to tell him because he was my big brother and it felt a little strange, but a much bigger part of me needed his blessing.
“I… I think I have feelings for Javier,” I told him carefully. “As you know, he saved me from that testing facility. He stopped them from doing all kinds of much worst things to me. We spent a lot of time together.”
He rested his hand on my shoulders and grinned happily for me. “If you have found someone who makes you happy, who makes all of this feel a lot less shitty, then you should go for it. Don’t let anything hold you back.”
Hearing those words coming from Mike’s mouth unlocked a box surrounding my heart. He made it seem so obvious that I was the one who needed to be freer. It wouldn’t be easy to shake off a lifetime of brainwashing making me hate cyborgs, but with this supportive community I felt like I could do it.
“Have you managed to find anyone special?” I heard myself asking. I flinched a little inside as those words left my mouth, wondering if I was being insensitive or not. Maybe he’d been rejected because of the way he looked, and I’d just dredged that all to the surface.
“Oh my dating life has been very active,” he said with a smirk. “But no, no one special.”
Did I dare ask? Was there any point in keeping anything back anymore? “Humans or cyborgs?”
He stepped back from me and eyed me as if he wasn’t sure he should confess. I wanted to know, not out of morbid curiosity but just because I felt like I needed to see how open-minded he truly was about things. “Both, actually,” he finally must have decided that I needed this information. “Sometimes at the same time…”
“Nope,” I held up my hands in a surrendering gesture and laughed loudly. “Nope I don’t need to know anymore than that, thank you.”
“Okay that’s fair,” he said. He looked relieved and happy that we’d managed to get back on an even keel. “So are you going to stick around? Will you stay with us here? It’s just… I’d like to be able to spend more time with you if possible...”
I held his hands and grinned. “You aren’t getting rid of me that easily. I want to spend more time with you too. I feel like we’ve missed out on enough, don’t you?”
I couldn’t leave. I couldn’t go home, because this was my home now. This place contained all the people I felt close to – and maybe some whom I didn’t, but that was beside the point. There wasn’t anywhere else in the world I wanted to be.
“We've missed out on far too much," said Mike. "Now I do have to get back to work, but I’ll see you soon, okay?”
We hugged, and had an emotional goodbye, but I felt good because I knew it wouldn’t be forever. I was home now. It felt so good that things weren't so complicated anymore.
I hadn’t just killed Craig. I hadn't been myself, or run away and found myself alone. I’d found myself with everything I’d ever wanted and so much more. Here, with the cyborgs. Who would ever have thought it possible?
I needed to go now, to see Javier. I had to apologize, to reassure him that I wouldn’t let fear get in the way again. Once he knew that, we could try and navigate what came next, and I hoped that would be something much more substantial. Something real.
I ran through the crowds of people, this time speaking to them all, trying to find out where Javier was. Eventually someone pointed me in the direction of the science lab. Of course Javier was at work already. He was committed to Craig's dream of peace and human-cyborg coexistence. He'd done so long ago, unlike me...
I hoped he forgave me for that.
He hadn’t ever seemed like the unforgiving type before, especially when it came to me, but there weren’t a
ny guarantees. Maybe all my luck had run out for one day! Maybe making up with Mike was as good as it would get...
***
"Javier?” I said as I tapped anxiously on the door. “You in there?”
I could already see him through the glass, so what I was really asking was if he wanted to speak to me or not. As he spun around to face me, his expression lit up with happiness which sent relief spiraling through me. He wasn’t mad, and he didn’t hate me. Everything would be okay.
He opened the door and stepped to the side to let me in. “Is everything alright?” he asked curiously. “Are you… have you sorted things out?”
“I’m so sorry for all the things I said,” I told him sadly, wrapping my arms around him. “I was just freaked out. I don’t know why but seeing Mike, alive but different, scared me and I just wanted to run.”
“Well, I’m glad you didn’t.” He pulled back to look at me with a question in his eye. “So have you decided where you want to go next?”
“I want to stay here,” I said, as I half shrugged and cocked my head at him. “I want to stay with you, if you’ll have me.”
He could have quite easily demanded answers, he could have made me clarify what I meant with all my nasty comments before, but he didn’t. Much to my relief he crashed his lips against me instead.
My heart exploded, warmth filled my chest, everything lit up on fire once more. It would’ve been a real shame to give up on this sizzling chemistry just because I was scared. As we kissed, as his mouth moved against mine I couldn’t have cared less what anyone had to say. This didn’t affect them, it did me.
“You feel so good,” I groaned as lust coursed through my veins. I was pressed up against him, feeling every inch of his body, and I wanted him bad. It was just a shame that he was working.
“Come with me,” he whispered gently into my ear, sending an intense shiver up and down my spine. “I know where we can go.”
Go… for what? Was he actually suggesting what I so desperately hoped he was? How naughty would it be to do it here? And why did that idea excite me so much?
He laced his fingers through mine and took me towards a cupboard. From the outside it looked far too thin to fit two people in, but as the door swung open my heart danced excitedly in my chest. It was tall and just wide enough for us to work with. The idea of doing it secretly in Javier’s current lab was thrilling.
“Are you serious?” I gasped as he pulled me inside with a wicked smile on his face. “This is crazy!”
But he didn’t answer me. Instead, he pulled me against him and kissed me again, carefully snaking his tongue between his lips. His hands were running all over me, I could feel his powerful desire pressed up against my leg, and I became putty for him to play with.
How was I supposed to resist when this felt so good?
My head fell to one side as Javier pressed my body up against the cold wall and his mouth explored my neck. I never thought I’d end up here again, yet here I was on top of the world, my body already absolutely buzzing with lust.
“You’re so beautiful,” he murmured as his hands found my breasts. “You make me feel so good.”
I couldn’t take it anymore, I needed him, it had been far too long, so I kicked my trousers down, then watched in sheer joy as he tossed his lab jacket to the ground.
Then he grabbed hold of my thighs and he fixed them into place while he slid right down my body. His knees hit the floor with a thump and I clawed the wall behind me.
At first, Javier placed chaste kisses along my thighs, teasing me, sending wonderful sensations through my body, making me incredibly needy for him.
“Oh God, you’re driving me crazy!” I gasped out as my fingers finally found his hair to knot through. “Fuck, Javier!”
With that he yanked my panties down, exposing me completely to him. Then he grabbed one leg to toss it over his shoulder. I felt shy, nervous, vulnerable, but as soon as one of his amazing, expert fingers slid inside of me all of that just vanished. My hot, wet, pulsating desire was getting what it needed, and that was all I cared about.
“Do you like that?” Javier asked me, causing me to moan loudly with bliss. “Do you want more?”
“More, so much more,” I said, dazedly. I wanted to be able to vocalize myself better, but my brain had switched off. My body was nothing but sensations.
But he didn’t give me more, he moved his hand away instead. Just as I was about to scream in frustration, his tongue moved over me instead, and somehow that managed to feel even better.
“Oh wow,” I gasped, as he plunged into me. “Oh Javier.”
I felt animalistic, wild, crazy, and that feeling only got better and more intense as he began to tongue my clit expertly. He was wonderful. He really knew my body better than I knew it myself.
The pressure was building, slowly I was crumbling, and Javier showed no sign of slowing down. He was becoming hungrier for me, faster and more desperate, and my body couldn’t cope. I couldn't control it. The orgasm came and as the pleasure crashed over me in waves, I lost my mind. No longer could I be discrete, I was screaming, yelling, and letting all the pleasure run free. It felt incredible. I felt freer than I’d ever done before, and that sensation was as intoxicating as the rushing, powerful orgasm that shattered through my body, leaving me a buckling, crumbling mess.
As I lay there in post-lovemaking bliss, realized I’d made the right decision to stay in the cyborg community. This was exactly where I needed to be. Now I just needed to find a way to make this new life work for me. I had to discover the place where I fit in. Once I had that, I would have it all.
***
Early the next morning, Craig called a massive meeting for everyone to attend. I didn’t really want to go. I hadn’t yet worked out how I felt about him, but I forced myself to do so. If I was going to make this life work then I needed to be an adult about it. I was going to have to do things I didn’t necessarily like.
With Javier by my side, and the knowledge that Mike was in the room, it didn’t feel so bad anyway. I could do this for them, if not Craig.
“Thank you for coming everyone,” he boomed above the crowd, causing a smattering of clapping and cheers. I couldn’t help but notice that my new friend Rachel was one of the ones making the biggest noise. “Now, I know you’ve all been wondering when we’re going to make a move, and now that we’re more established I feel like the time is upon us.”
More yelling and happiness broke out, and I had to admit that I felt a little excited by the idea too. What did he mean by action?
“What we’ve been doing so far is collecting intel, and one of the most important things we’ve learned came from the most recent people to join us.”
I glanced at Javier in shock… did he mean us? He nodded slightly, confirming that fact. Javier must have debriefed Craig extensively.
“There is a base, a cyborg base when the workers are running horrific tests on humans. That needs to stop if we’re ever going to achieve peace, Therefore we will attack.” He held up his hands to stop anyone else from speaking and a hush fell over the room. “Now I know you’re probably wondering why we’re going for cyborgs first, especially because for most of us that’s our own kind, and humans are obviously doing things that are just as bad… but we need to start somewhere. The experimentation is a huge problem, and I think stopping it will send a message too. It will let humans and cyborgs alike know that we aren’t on either of their sides. On the other hand, if we attack humans, we won't do anything to solve the hate between our two peoples.” Craig was right. It made perfect sense. I didn’t like to admit it but he had it nailed. That experimental facility was the worst thing to ever happen to me – except for meeting Javier of course – and it needed to be dealt with.
An anger burst out inside of me, and I leaned forwards in my chair wanting to hear more. I could fight, I’d been trained. Maybe I could be a part of this. Maybe fighting could be my place in this mess.
"Once we’ve worked out
the details, and we’ve had sign ups, you’ll be given more information. As I’m sure you can imagine this is a time sensitive issue, so the sooner the better as far as we’re concerned,” said Craig.
I glanced to Javier, wondering how he’d react if I told him that I wanted to fight. He didn’t know the person I was before the kidnapping. He didn’t know I could fight. He was a man of science himself. Fighting probably wasn’t something he ever got involved in.
I would tell him, but I decided to put my name down first. This was something that I needed to do for me, and I didn’t want anything to get in the way of that.
I just had to find a way to speak to Craig alone, and not for the reason I had last time.
As he addressed the crowd some more, I viewed him through different eyes, I looked at him in the way everyone else did. He wasn’t my enemy anymore, I really did need to let go of that, and as I did I could see something else. A charismatic leader who rallied people in the right way.
Others fired questions at him and he answered them expertly. Some gave him criticism and he dealt with their concerns properly. When he got praise it didn’t seem to go to his head.
Damn it, he was good. He was really good, and likable too. I hated to admit it, but once again I’d been wrong. I was going to have to apologize to him on top of everything else.
As he finally wrapped things up and everyone began to file out of the room, I decided to take the bull by the horns and to act. Javier tugged at my arm, wanting to take me with him but I shook my head and stayed put.
“No, I think I’m going to stay for a moment,” I told him guiltily. I hated lying, but I had made my decision. I would fight. I would help attack that experimentation facility. I said, “I need to say sorry to Craig. I really went off on him when we first got here and I feel bad now.”
“Okay,” Javier nodded, totally trusting of me. “Okay, that’s fine. It’s a good idea. I’ll see you in a bit, alright?”
