Defining Human (Only Human Book 4)

by Candace Blevins

  Fire blazed around his feet, and the flames slowly worked their way up his body until he was fully engulfed.

  “Usually, I do it so fast, people think I catch on fire all at once. I can also burn clothes away fast enough my skin isn’t damaged. Alternatively, I can keep the fire on the outer portion of my aura, so my clothes aren’t affected. You don’t have that much control, but we want to burn your energy away. All of it. I’ll give you more when we finish.”

  I shook my head. “I can’t handle that kind of session.”

  “I won’t hurt you with it. I’ll fill you without stretching you, and then I’ll help you connect with the trees in your yard so you can make it yours. The energy of your aura is poison to you right now. You need to burn it away. All of it.”

  I nodded, sat in the metal chair, and held my feet out straight. It took a few seconds for me to set them on fire the way I do my hands, and I imagined the flames eating my aura, my energy. My legs were hot without being burned, and I reassured myself, as I always have to, that I’d be fine. It nearly died out when I stood and walked away from the chair, but I managed to hold onto it. The fire came up my legs, met my torso, and kept going until I was completely engulfed. Mordecai talked me through how to keep it burning even though my instincts were to extinguish it — and I had to fight those instincts more and more as my energy levels depleted and the blaze crackled around me, eating my aura — my essence.

  Looking through the fire, knowing I was fully engulfed, was both empowering and panic inducing. I held it until I was ready to pass out, and sank to the floor the second the flames extinguished. My legs were crossed, and I knew the gorgeous, magnificent, ancient god wouldn’t give me energy until my right and left sides weren’t overlapping, but I wasn’t sure I could stand for him.

  In an unusual act of kindness, he levitated me a few feet above the floor, arms supported and relaxed, and legs spread wide enough so they didn’t touch, but not so far it was uncomfortable. He bathed me in his divine energy, filled me without hurting me, and then helped me commune with the trees in my yard so I could make his energy mine.

  “They filled you with self-doubt,” he told me when I was standing and walking, making my aura fit my body. “Not just doubt, but distrust and uncertainty. Nothing conscious, but the seeds of questions about everything you believe were there, and along with it, they poisoned your energy field.”

  “My beliefs are strong. How could they undermine them? I fought so hard to come to them.”

  He shook his head. “Our parents remain our weakest link, even millennia after we’ve broken away from them. They attacked from a direction you didn’t know could be breached, but they had to get inside your head in the first place to find a way to infiltrate so you wouldn’t notice.”

  “My energy’s fixed, but not the breach, right? I still need to plug the hole?”

  He nodded. “You stopped defending against your grandparents when they died, and you’ve let your walls down against your mother in recent years, as the two of you have come to more of a truce. Shield yourself against all of them, as if they were actively attacking.”

  “How big of an asshole do you have to be to attack as someone’s mother would?”

  Mordecai chuckled and pulled me into a hug. “You’ll be fine. Remember, your fire can’t burn you as long as only you are feeding it. Any other fuel source, and you’ll be burned. Celrau are particularly flammable, but if one is holding you and you set him on fire, it’s possible you’ll die and he or she will heal. I’ve insisted you learn how to do it for several reasons, one of which you’ve just seen. Until you master it, you shouldn’t use it defensively.”

  “How do I sleep without worry of vampires fucking with my head?”

  “You’ll sleep between me and Cora tonight. Your lion won’t be pleased, but I don’t believe he’ll refuse the request for hospitality.”

  I shook my head. “Lauren doesn’t need to see me sleeping with you.”

  “She’ll be on the other side of Cora. Nathan has an orgy-sized bed in a different guest room. We’ll tell Lauren I can help keep the entire bed safe from vampire mind-control, and she’ll sleep easier too. It’ll be fine.”

  Chapter 27

  I was scheduled to work late the next day, to see patients who have a hard time coming to see me during their normal work hours. I was more than a little freaked about being away from Nathan’s home after sundown, but Mordecai told me Rinaldo was physically in Virginia.

  “Wait, he’s getting into my head from Virginia!?”

  “Yes. Bristol, to be exact. He’ll be harder to defend against when he’s close, but we don’t have to worry about that for now. Neither Griffin, Rinaldo, or any of their people are showing a signature in Abbott’s territory. Keep your shields strong and you’re good.”

  Nathan had to leave town for an emergency with the lions in Myrtle Beach. He felt like the problem was manufactured to pull him away from me, and he wanted me to go through the nothingness to get from work back to his house, but I refused. I smelled of divinity when I used it too often, and I’d only use it if my life depended on it. He felt it did, but with Griffin out of the picture and Rinaldo in Virginia, and with Mordecai’s assurance none of their people were in town, I felt physically safe, if not mentally.

  Aaron was in Faerie, Nathan in Myrtle Beach. Mordecai left at sunrise and told me Lou had something cooked up to keep me safe while I slept that night. Cora and Tyler escorted me out of my building and into a Drake Security vehicle. I was relaxed in the back seat, not at all worried about being abducted when my head imploded in pain.

  Pressure. Force. Spikes.

  Abbott had once declined to force his way into my head to make a point, because he said he didn’t want to hurt me. Apparently, hurting me was on the table now, and there was nothing I could do to keep him out.

  Only it wasn’t Abbott. It was Gavin, using Abbott’s power, and he crushed my shields before he shredded my mental walls. In less than a second, he was in my head, my mind, my memories, my thoughts. I wrapped my arms around my skull and fell sideways in the seat despite the seatbelt. No matter I felt as if I were dying, the bastard didn’t back off, and there was no way for me to push him out as he literally raped my mind. I thought of heat inside his head but I couldn’t push it.

  He forced me to watch as he put a leash around a node behind my forehead. “This is your willpower, cunt. You won’t do anything unless I tell you to.”

  He wasn’t lying. He used a noose around it and pulled it tight, so it was like that part of me was in a constant state of being strangled. I could think, but I couldn’t do.

  You can only think because it pleases me to let you consider what you want to do. My cock gets hard watching your frustration at not being able to follow through on your thoughts. There are things you don’t remember you can do, because it wouldn’t be safe for me if you could remember. Chew on that a little while. You know, until I make you forget.

  He looked for my connection to Cora and couldn’t find it, but my satisfaction over that didn’t last long because he found the fiber of energy leading to Randall and severed it, and my screams echoed back to me. Next, he severed the threads to Griffin’s cronies, and the backlash snapped so hard I had to fight to keep from passing out.

  Blood trickled from my ear, warm and wet. My vision blurred, and I realized my nose wasn’t running, it was bleeding. Tyler and Cora were both unconscious in the front seat, and Gavin reached into the back, released my seatbelt, pulled me into his arms, and carried me to a limo parked in the road.

  My body was paralyzed with pain, but I could think. I hoped another car didn’t come along because I didn’t want Gavin to hurt them.

  You should be more worried about yourself.

  If you wanted me dead, I’d be dead. You want me alive.

  If you knew what we wanted, you’d be terrified.

  My head hurt worse than it had at any other time in my life, but I forced myself to stay logical. What are your
options? Kill me, turn me, or trade me? I’m human and you’ve taken control of me, so you can sell me, right? That’s the way your fucked-up laws work?

  I was curled in a ball in his lap, my arms still wrapped around my head, his arms wrapped around me. I didn’t want him touching me, but I couldn’t stop it. I screamed and held my head tighter when he tightened the mental leash again, this time around the foundation of my thoughts and not just my willpower.

  I can make you my little puppet if I grow tired of your smart mouth.

  Knife blades seemed to shred my brain with every beat of my heart. My head throbbed and pulsed in agony until I thought my skull might fly apart, but I couldn’t bring myself to try to force Gavin out. I couldn’t push heat into his head. I couldn’t step out of reality. I felt him walking through my memories and I mentally called him every name I could think of when he saw my teacher in China and got a name.

  He watched two years of my life in less than an hour, though admittedly a whole helluva lot of those two years were boring. I meditated hours and hours a day and executed katas the other waking hours. Learning came in spurts after months of patience.

  Gavin replayed the sessions — over and over — where Mordecai expanded my energy capacity. He jacked off to my pain and made sure I knew he got off on it. He really liked watching people hurt, but he wasn’t just watching when he was in my head. It wasn’t like it was happening to him, and yet, he knew exactly how badly I hurt.

  I don’t know when we moved from the limo to a bunker, I only know my next memories are of being in bed with him while he strolled through my memories. He watched some of my most precious, private moments — the first time I met Lauren, the day the Chinese judge decreed I was her mother and she was my daughter, the day the U.S. Consulate affirmed the relationship and made it legal in the U.S., too. The day we received her certificate of citizenship in the mail and we both felt everything was finally in place legally. He strolled through the pain of a young woman being strung along and then publicly rejected and humiliated by a county detective with big aspirations, and I picked up enough from Gavin to realize he’d already seen this through Denny’s eyes because Abbott had been curious about why I disliked the Fort Oglethorpe chief so much.

  Fire shot through my head and I screamed in agony again.

  You’ll think of him as Master from here on out. You’ll never use his name again. You’ll think of me as Master Gavin, and you’ll refer to me as Master, or Master Gavin if it’s necessary to be specific about me rather than your true Master.”

  Master Gavin let me see what it’d taken to shred my walls and take control — our Master had pulled on the energy of thousands of vampires, and had knocked Randall out in order to get to Cora and make sure I couldn’t access the power of thousands of werewolves through Cora’s connection to her Alpha. I saw a few vampires withering to nothing when The Master breathed in the energy of all who belonged to him, and I saw Randall desperately trying to save the weakest wolves in his territory when the Pack’s power was viciously attacked and torn apart.

  Master’s Second-in-Command had been given access to all of that power. And now, the bastard knew it made my stomach turn every time I thought of Master as Master. Damn. I’d meant to use his first name when I’d thought that sentence, and it hadn’t come out. I was so, royally, fucked.

  Master Gavin seemed to think that funny, and he stroked my side. I wasn’t wearing a shirt, and my body froze. My fight or flight response didn’t work. I fucking froze.

  When I’m in your head a few more days, you won’t consider it rape. You’ll be happy to serve your Master in whatever ways he needs.

  The thought that someday I’d enjoy killing him started to form but couldn’t finish.

  Some thoughts, you can no longer have. You aren’t supposed to know you can’t have them, and I’m intrigued by your mental strength.

  “And I’m sick of supernaturals being fucking intrigued by me.” I said it out loud because I didn’t like the intimacy of telepathy. Master and I’d had it and I considered it one of those special things we’d had. I knew he had it with everyone, but I didn’t. Having Master Gavin in my head like Master had been…

  Rage shot through my system when I realized I was using Master in my head instead of his name that started with an A. Once again, I picked up on Master Gavin’s bewilderment that I knew my thoughts weren’t as I wanted them. Apparently, he could force me to think the way he wanted me to, but he couldn’t force me to forget it wasn’t the way I wanted to think.

  “You’re naked because your clothes were soaked in blood and we needed to clean you up, not because I intend to fuck you.”

  I had a vague recollection of vampires licking me to clean me up, and I thought I might be sick. The thought I wanted to think and say wouldn’t form, but I got around it by saying, “If you hadn’t blocked me from saying it, I’d tell you that everyone who tasted my blood is going to have to die, and if Kendra was in on it, I’ll be unbelievably sad.”

  I sensed a split second of frustration and worry, and realized his control wasn’t as strong as he expected.

  “Kendra asked to be sent away to handle another job. For the first time ever, her loyalty to our Master isn’t complete.”

  I’m certain Master Gavin didn’t intend to let me see his frustration around this, because the Master loved Kendra even more for her loyalty to me, even when it put her loyalty to him in doubt. Master Gavin thought them both mad, and it made him dislike me even more. I saw that I was only alive and unraped because his Master had ordered it so.

  Yes, the Master had not only agreed to capture me, he’d helped his Second carry it out. However, Master didn’t want me dead or raped, which had to mean something.

  I was still pissed every time my brain inserted Master for his name, but I’d deal with that anger later.

  “You’re alive because we can’t use you as a bargaining chip once you’re dead. I haven’t fucked you because my Master feels your education takes big leaps when you feel you’re in serious danger.” He worries you’ll find a way to kill me if I rape you.

  I was positive Master Gavin didn’t intend me to hear the thought he had at the end of the spoken sentence, and I smirked. Master A had once thought of me as nothing more than a helpless human, but he hadn’t lived thousands of years by underestimating his enemies.

  “You see yourself as his enemy?”

  The thought going through my head was, Well, duh! but I only looked at Master Gavin and wondered that he didn’t understand I could never remain friends with someone who’d raped my mind, or who’d ordered the rape. They might think I’d find a way to retaliate should they rape my body, but did they not understand I was more pissed about them in my head than I’d have been if they’d only raped my body?

  Master Gavin produced a needle and ordered me to freeze. I couldn’t even try to move, once he gave the order.

  I watched in horror as he inserted the IV in my arm, hooked up two bags to empty into my body, and carried me to a cage.

  “I’d intended to leave you alone in the room, but knowing you can start a fire means you can’t be near anything flammable. I’m sorry you won’t be comfortable, but you’ll be knocked out while I’m dead to the world. Someone will clean you up before we rouse you.”

  “I puke when I wake up after being anesthetized.”

  “I know. I’ve been through your head. We’ll give you something to counter the nausea.”

  Fear flooded my system during the twenty or so seconds it took for the solution to knock me out. I fought sleep, but it was no use, and my world went black.

  Chapter 28

  Looking back on my time with Gavin, I’m certain they couldn’t keep me long term. I was always knocked out when he was dead to the world, and I became convinced this was because he wasn’t certain his control would remain strong while he wasn’t consciously holding it.

  Also, the vast majority of my awake time was spent on a sofa or in a bed with him touching me
. I don’t think his control was strong enough to hold my willpower without physical touch.

  This means I remained in a state of constant frustration during the three days he held me captive. I wanted to kill the bastard, but I couldn’t even finish the damned thought. He could shut me down like a fucking robot with an on/off button when he didn’t want me to hear something, and bring me back online at his whim. I gathered that Randall and Nathan had joined forces and were causing problems the Master hadn’t anticipated, but I didn’t hear about Aaron causing problems. Was he still in Faerie? I didn’t know.

  Eventually, I was dressed in a bra with cutouts for the nipples, and a lacy thong — and then my consciousness was once again shut off, probably to keep me from seeing where I’d been held. They were driving through dark woods at night when they turned me back on, and I tried to keep from looking out the front window so I’d have at least a little night vision when we arrived. It was all for naught, because they pulled into a well-lit, single runway airport, and terror shot through me.

  It seemed as soon as they walked me out of the car and onto a grassy area near a runway, I saw the lights of the approaching plane. Another car pulled up. A limo, and I knew who would step out before I saw him.

  The Master. It was tempting to think his name in the part of my brain I’d managed to keep from Master Gavin, but I didn’t. I wouldn’t risk anything that might give me away. I was likely only going to have one chance to escape, and I needed to wait until everyone was here to do it.

  I’m not sure how I knew The Master was telepathing with his people, but I did. Part of me wanted to say something, to break the silence, but I stood still like a good little automaton and waited for my chance.

  The plane landed, taxied back to us, and stopped. Two men I was certain were muscle jumped from the door and glided to the ground, and then a short man levitated out and floated to the paved surface.