She was overwhelmed? Hell, so was he. It was scary. But it was also good. Being around her, being in her arms, freed his damaged soul. He’d never needed anyone the way he needed her. But was it fair to her to let her get involved with him? He needed to tell her why he was the way he was.
“There’s something you need to know, Emily. There’s a reason why I don’t get close to people. A reason why I’ve never had a romantic entanglement.”
Her gaze latched on his. “What is it? Tell me.”
Shit. Would the truth scare her away? “I…my father has taken away everything I ever cared about: my mother, my puppy, my friends, my privacy, my identity. He doesn’t want me to be happy. So the only way I can keep from losing anyone or anything else is to keep myself at a distance. If I get close to you, he’ll hurt you. He’ll take you away from me. And I…God, I don’t think…” He trailed off, words failing him. “I can’t lose you Emily. Getting involved with me would be dangerous for you. If my father finds out, he’ll do something to break us apart, I know he will.”
She squeezed both his hands in hers. “I don’t care. You’re my friend. I want to be with you. I’m not afraid of your father.”
He groaned. “You should be. You don’t know him. He’s cunning and evil and he’s hated me since I was born. He’ll do anything he can to make me suffer. I’m afraid he’ll hurt you.”
She held his gaze. “Tell the jerk to bring it on. We will fight him. And we will win.”
She was dead serious. Sebastian stared into her pretty brown eyes, witnessed the strength and determination there. She was so strong. He wanted to be more like her.
But she didn’t know his father. She had no idea what the man was like or how dangerous he was. His father would chew her up and spit her out like a bag of unshelled sunflower seeds.
She didn’t know the threat that hung over Sebastian like an ominous black cloud, or the secret he feared he could never tell her. His father didn’t make idle threats. Sebastian had no choice but to do whatever his father wanted. This wasn’t just about Sebastian. He wished it was. Then he could truly tell his father to go to hell. But his father had such a tight noose around his neck that Sebastian doubted he would ever be able to live the life he wanted. Right now, keeping his father happy was his only option. Emily told him to fight, but she didn’t know fighting got him nowhere. So he had to give the man what he wanted.
He sighed. “Let’s go inside. It’s late. I’m sure you’re getting cold.”
They walked back to the house in silence. Talking about his father had ruined the mood, as usual. Any mention of his father ruined everything.
“You can have any room you want.” Sebastian motioned down the hallway. “I’ll just…hang out here and watch a movie or something.”
She turned toward him and took his hands in hers again. “Let’s watch a movie together. You have any popcorn?”
* * *
After changing into dry clothes, they settled on Sebastian’s leather couch in front of a big screen television that hung on the wall and watched a Jim Carrey comedy, eating microwave popcorn and drinking soda. They sat close together, shoulder to shoulder, and Emily couldn’t recall ever being so comfortable around a man that she could relax like this. Sebastian was the only person who had that effect on her.
There was one point in the movie when Emily laughed so hard she couldn’t breathe. Sebastian chuckled next to her. Then he laughed too. It was a beautiful sound. Had Sebastian ever allowed himself to be happy before?
They laughed harder, tears rolling down their cheeks. Emily bent forward, trying to catch her breath, her sides heaving. Finally she sat up, her gaze colliding with his. “My stomach muscles hurt. I don’t think I’ve ever laughed that hard before.”
Sebastian’s eyes twinkled. “Me either.”
He was absolutely beautiful when he smiled.
They stared at each other.
The air around them changed, electrified. Emily’s breath caught.
Sebastian leaned toward her, his gaze on hers.
He paused. Waited.
She stared into his eyes.
The sounds of the movie blended into the background. Her senses filled with Sebastian…
His warm breath heating her neck.
His beautiful lips just millimeters away, tempting her.
His tantalizing scent that made her stomach muscles clench with longing whenever she breathed him in.
That sexy dark hair she ached to run her fingers through.
Those mesmerizing eyes that held hers now, searching, waiting.
Her heart pounded.
I want to touch him.
Do it.
I don’t know if I can. I’m not that brave.
Just do it.
She lifted her hand. Hesitated. Cupped his cheek in her palm.
Something hot and needy flared in his eyes. He covered her hand with his, then, slowly, he turned his head. His tongue flicked out, licking her index finger.
Emily sucked in a breath.
He drew her finger into his mouth and gently sucked.
Heat flared through her, settling deep into her core. She let out a soft gasp.
Sebastian’s gaze never left hers.
She wanted to pull her hand back.
No, she didn’t.
He licked along her finger, pulled it back into his mouth again.
Emily’s breaths grew shallow. Heat coiled in her lower abdomen, hotter and hotter, making her squirm.
“Sebastian.”
He let go of her hand. She pulled it back into her lap.
His gaze remained steady on hers. “I want to do that to every single inch of you. Will you let me?”
Her cheeks flamed. Her heart raced faster. He wanted to do that…everywhere? Seriously?
The heat in her lower abdomen intensified. The thought of his lips, his tongue all over her…
Oh. My. God.
He waited, his gaze never leaving hers.
Patiently.
The seconds ticked past.
Patiently.
Her breathing quickened.
She leaned toward him, into him. She couldn’t help it. Her body wanted to feel his lips all over, even if her brain was still trying to fathom such a thing.
He caught her against him, rolling back onto the couch and pulling her on top of him. Her breasts squished against his chest, her hips settling against his. She stared down at his beautiful face, those enticing lips that begged her to kiss them.
He watched her without speaking. Waiting. Always waiting for her to say what happened next.
He was such a gentleman.
I want him.
Heat throbbed harder in her core, making her inner muscles clench with need.
I want his lips all over me.
Crap. What was he doing to her? She’d never wanted this before.
I want him to make love to me.
Sebastian stared into her eyes. Still waiting.
“So, uh…” Emily cleared her throat. “What do we do now?”
“What do you want to do?” His voice was husky, his drawl lazy and seductive.
“I…” She swallowed hard. “I want you to do that…what you said.” Heat scorched her cheeks. She jerked her gaze away. Had she just admitted that? Seriously?
“Do what?” His voice was soft, coaxing, patient.
Her breath whooshed out. She pulled her gaze back to his. His eyes swirled with unmistakable lust. And tenderness. She couldn’t look away.
Kiss me. Everywhere.
He tucked a lock of hair behind her ear. “You sure?”
Oh crap. Had she said that out loud?
“Y-yes. I think…I would like that very much.”
He lifted his head off the couch, brushing his lips against hers. Softly. Seductively.
Emily sighed. He fell away, leaning back against the couch again, his gaze on her. Watching. Waiting.
“Again?” he whispered, his voice husky.
; She didn’t answer. Instead she tangled her fingers in that glorious hair and brushed her lips against his. Once. Twice. He made a soft, rumbling sound in his throat. She leaned back.
His arms came around her, anchoring her in place. “Don’t go.” His hands gently stroked up and down her sides. “We’re just getting started.”
She looked into his eyes, her heart thundering. This was scary, yet…nice. “I…like being with you like this.” Embarrassed heat crawled over her skin. Her breathing quickened. Could she be more of a dork?
“Me too.” He cupped the back of her neck and gently drew her mouth down to his. Their lips brushed again. Oh so softly.
Emily moaned.
This was more than nice. This was incredible.
She tightened her fingers in his hair. He was making her hot. Making her burn. Everywhere. She rocked her hips against his, trying to ease the burning ache between her thighs. She hadn’t known she could get so hot and dizzy with desire like this. That Sebastian could make her feel all breathless and needy like this.
Then again, this was Sebastian. The man she’d been crushing on since she was fifteen years old.
But what she felt now certainly wasn’t a crush. It was so much…more.
Sebastian panted out a breath, his gaze hot on hers.
It was those mesmerizing light blue eyes, those sexy lips, that gorgeous masculine face, that sexy dark hair and his hot, muscular body that had helped her survive her forced captivity and repeated rape at the hands of a sick, twisted man.
Her cheeks heated. What would Sebastian say if he discovered she’d used fantasies about him to help her survive those three years as a captive? That each time her abductor raped her she pretended it was Sebastian and instead of raping her, he was touching her lovingly, making her orgasm like she’d read about in books but had never experienced herself...
“What is it?” Sebastian’s voice was filled with concern.
She jerked her gaze back to his.
Tell him the truth. He has a right to know.
No. It’s too embarrassing.
“Emily?”
Oh God. If she told him, he would think she was a dork.
But he’d saved her, helped her get through that horrible time. She needed to thank him for that. Didn’t she?
“I, um…” She cleared her throat. “I have a confession to make. It’s…a little embarrassing, but I have to thank you for something.”
His gaze filled with question.
“When I…was held prisoner by my uncle, he um, like I said, raped me.”
Sadness entered Sebastian’s eyes. He brushed her hair back behind her ear, again and again, as if he wanted to soothe her somehow.
“It was because of you that I was able to survive what he did to me. So I need to say thank you.”
Confusion entered his eyes. “What do you mean?”
Just tell him.
“When he was, um, raping me, I pretended it was you, but instead of raping me, you were touching me, making love to me, making me…” Her cheeks flamed. “Um, you know, have an orgasm.”
Sebastian stared up at her. “Oh Em,” he whispered, his voice hoarse. “You humble me.” He drew her mouth back down to his, kissing her long and slow. There was tenderness in his kiss. Perhaps even something deeper, something more powerful. She didn’t dare call it love, but it sure felt like it. She had no doubt he cared about her.
The kiss went on and on and on. Mouths molding together, lips brushing, sucking, tongues stroking, swirling, tasting. Emily didn’t want it to stop.
A fire burned hotter and hotter in her, making her squirm with need against him. And all they were doing was kissing. What would happen when he did what he said he wanted to do? Kissed her, licked her, everywhere?
Breathing heavily, Emily leaned back. She wanted to find out.
Sebastian’s gaze met hers. “You want to stop?”
She shook her head. “No.” She wanted him. Right now. She lifted her shirt and yanked it over her head.
His gaze landed on her breasts that tingled beneath lacy black fabric, aching for his touch. His eyes widened. His nostrils flared. “Emily?”
“I want you to make love to me, Sebastian. Do what you said you wanted to do.”
He inched into a sitting position. “You sure?”
She nodded. “Positive.” She was ready. She wanted him to show her it could be better than what she’d endured. It had to be better than that, right? “I trust you.”
He stared into her eyes, searching. Did he think she wasn’t being honest? Finally he took her hand and rose from the couch. “Not here. I want to be able to spread you out and taste you all over.”
Emily’s cheeks flamed. She lowered her gaze.
Sebastian lifted her chin. “Are you sure you’re ready for this?”
Unable to find her voice, she nodded.
Sebastian led her down the hallway. He took her to the giant master bedroom at the end of the hall. Emily had glanced into the room earlier, just briefly, when Sebastian had shown her around. But she hadn’t paid much attention.
Now she did.
She had a sense of bigness everywhere, large windows, open floor space...
But what snared her attention was the giant bed in the center of the room.
Heat scorched her cheeks. Crap. Could she really do this? Was she ready?
Sebastian was apparently thinking the same thing. He came around to stand in front of her. He lifted her chin, forcing her to meet his gaze.
“I want you to put what happened to you out of your mind and focus on me tonight, okay? Me. Can you do that? If you start to have a flashback or something or if I do something that freaks you out, stop me. Okay? I don’t want you to be afraid of what might happen. Just remember I’m not him, Emily. I won’t hurt you. I promise. Do you believe me?”
She jerked her head in a nod, her gaze never leaving his. “W-what’s going to happen?”
He held her gaze. “I’m going to lay you back on that bed and make love to you the way you deserve.” He paused. “The way I’ve been longing to do since the moment you nearly bumped into me in the kennels your first day on the job.”
The breath snagged in her throat. That throbbing heat between her legs increased. He’d wanted to make love to her since then?
“Okay,” she whispered.
“Are you afraid?”
“A little.” This was new for him too. He’d said he’d never made love to a woman before, that it had never been anything but sex. “Are you?”
He glanced away for a moment, then looked her in the eye. “I’ve never…had my emotions all mixed up like this before. You make me feel things I didn’t know I could feel. So yeah, I’m fucking terrified. But I want you so bad it’s all I can think about.” His gaze filled with question. “Are you sure...you’re ready for this? We don’t have to do this now. We can wait. There’s no rush.”
Emily’s heart was performing crazy acrobatics in her chest. Was she really going to do this? Was she really about to make love with Sebastian Wolfe?
“Um, Sebastian?”
He stepped closer, tilted his head down to hers. “Yes?”
“Would you stop talking now? The more you talk about it, the more nervous I get. Just…kiss me already.”
CHAPTER NINETEEN
Sebastian let out a soft chuckle. It was a beautiful sound. Emily loved it when he showed true happiness, loved that she was bringing him such joy.
He cupped the back of her neck and tilted her head back, slowly lowering his mouth to hers. Kissing Sebastian was the most beautiful thing. Words couldn’t describe the way she felt when her mouth was joined with his. Sparks ignited between them, creating a flame of longing that torched her and made her burn throughout every inch of her body. That hot tingling in her loins increased, spreading throughout her veins. Emily wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him back, open-mouthed, stroking her tongue along his the way he’d shown her earlier. She pressed her body into his
, loving the feel of his hard length against her.
His arms came around her, pressing her closer until she couldn’t tell where she ended and he began. He kept kissing her and kissing her. Emily was lost. All she could feel was Sebastian. All she could smell was Sebastian. All she could think about was Sebastian. Everywhere…Sebastian.
He spun her around and walked her backwards toward the bed, all the while kissing her hungrily, nipping at her lower lip and drawing it into his mouth, his tongue dancing intimately with hers, his lips brushing across hers, again and again, making her gasp and moan, making her want something she’d never wanted before, making her need…
Her legs hit the back of the bed.
He lowered her onto the bed, following her down onto the mattress, laying down next to her.
His mouth never left hers.
Kissing.
So much wonderful kissing.
She never wanted him to stop.
His hand traveled down her neck, across her chest, his fingertips stroking along her bare skin, leaving a trail of fire along her flesh. He paused near her left breast.
His tongue delved into her mouth again, stroking, dancing, tangling with hers.
He slipped a finger inside her bra and gently stroked her nipple, around and around, until it hardened into a tight, needy bud. She hitched in a breath, the fire raging hotter through her. His hand slipped beneath her on the bed, unclasped her bra. And then she was bare.
His mouth left hers, slowly trailed kisses down her neck and over to her breast, closing over her nipple, gently sucking, then licking, nipping, teasing.
Emily gasped. A shudder rippled through her. He continued to lap at her breast, over and over, licking, sucking, stroking. Emily’s fingers tightened in the blankets beneath her. But she didn’t want to grab blankets. She wanted to touch Sebastian.
So do it. What are you waiting for?
He slid his mouth across to her other breast, leaving a trail of heat across her skin, and lavished her breast with the same erotic treatment he’d given the other one.
Emily moaned. She grabbed the back of his head, her fingers tangling in his hair. He slid closer, leaning over her, and gently settled his weight between her legs. Emily arched up against him with a soft moan, pressing her hips against his.
Scarred (Unlikely Heroes Book 5) Page 18
