Highland Courage

by Ceci Giltenan

  She struggled and panted trying to catch her breath. “Now who is using someone’s weakness against them? I think I need a rest.”

  “Aye, ye do, but it brings me to my last point. If someone attacks ye, their goal is to subdue ye and the best way to do that is with exhaustion. Ye mustn’t let it get that far. If ye find yourself overpowered, acquiesce. Stop fighting and save your strength. Tell him ye give up, and ye will do whatever he wants. And, love, this is important, ye must do whatever it takes to stay alive.”

  Tears welled in her eyes. “I don’t want to be hurt in that way ever again. I thought that’s what all this was about.”

  “Aye, love, it is.” Her tears caused his heart to ache, she had been afraid for so long. He released his grip on her arms slightly. “If he believes ye have given in, he will relax. Stay calm and focused so ye can look for an opportunity to try again.”

  “Just give up?” Her stricken expression wounded him.

  “Aye, whatever it takes to stay alive, until ye find a way to strike and escape.” She closed her eyes, and her chin quivered. “Sweetling, please don’t cry.” He gently brushed a tear from her cheek, releasing one of her hands.

  Instantly she brought the heel of her free hand up aiming for his throat. He dodged to miss it, losing his balance, and she was able to twist from under him. “Like that?” she said triumphantly.

  “Just like that, well done,” he answered with a grin.

  Seventeen

  Between preparing for Easter and continuing to practice defense techniques, the weeks flew by. After Easter, Mairead still had plenty to do helping to make ready for the May Fair. It was an opportunity for the Mathesons to sell new wool as well as surplus goods produced during the winter and early spring. Matheson weavers created high quality cloth, which fetched a good price. Also, Aifric, the Matheson brew master, and his wife, Hazel, produced distilled spirits, which were highly sought after.

  Although she didn’t think she was over-working herself, recently Mairead had been more tired than usual. She was in the habit of rising before the sun, often before Tadhg, but in the week before they left for the fair, she woke nearly every morning with the sun streaming through the window, and even then she had to force herself to leave the bed. On the morning of the fair, Tadhg gently shook Mairead just before dawn. “Sweetling, wake up. We must get an early start in order to be fully encamped by dark.” Mairead rose from bed but was swept by a wave of dizziness, groaned, and lay back against the pillows. “Mairead, love, I know ye are sleepy, but ye must get up now. Ye can ride in my lap for a while if ye need to rest longer.”

  “Nay, I’ll be fine, I just got up too quickly.” She rose more slowly and although she still didn’t feel quite right she hurried to get dressed so as not to delay them. Father Mungo said Mass quickly—it would have been a bad omen to begin a trip such as this without receiving the sacrament of Holy Mass. Afterward they ate a hasty meal before they left, but Mairead didn’t have much of an appetite.

  In spite of her desire to not be ruled by fear, not to mention all the effort she had spent learning how to defend herself, she felt nervous and bit queasy. The sun was barely above the horizon when she and Tadhg left the keep. Although when he offered she hadn’t planned on riding with him, now the thought of seating a horse for hours was daunting. “Tadhg, would ye mind terribly if I did ride with ye for a while?”

  He laughed and hugged her. “Sweetling, have I ever minded having ye in my arms?” She smiled happily as he lifted her onto his horse, mounting behind her. She snuggled against him when he wrapped his arms around her as the large party of Mathesons set out. To her surprise, Mairead did fall asleep in his arms, sleeping for several hours. When she awoke later in the morning all traces of her nausea had passed. Famished, Mairead ate heartily when they stopped in the middle of the day to rest the horses.

  Her burst of energy had faded by early evening when they arrived at the site of the fair. The encampment sprung up quickly and was nearly complete by nightfall. Mairead watched the activity around her, feeling a bit out of her element.

  Oren approached her. “Is everything aright, my lady?”

  “Honestly, Oren, I haven’t the first clue about what needs to be done.”

  “My lady, it looks like it is all getting done anyway.”

  “I guess it is.” She smiled weakly. She continued to chat with Oren, when Meriel approached, looking uncharacteristically timid.

  “My lady, may I speak with ye?”

  “Go on, Meriel, I’m sure ye have work to do,” said Oren.

  “It’s fine, Oren. Meriel, what do ye need?”

  “I never thanked ye, my lady. I love working with Mae. I’m learning so much. I know I didn’t deserve it after what I did, but I am so happy. I can’t ever thank ye enough.”

  “I’m glad to hear how well it is going.” Mairead smiled broadly. Meriel did seem happy, and Mae only had good things to say about her work.

  Meriel added, “I’m really excited to be here. Da has never let me go to a fair before, but he did this time so I could help Mae. I have to go back to her now.”

  “Enjoy yourself, but be careful,” Mairead cautioned.

  “Oh, I will,” Meriel called over her shoulder as she hurried away.

  “That was a very good thing ye did there, my lady. Caitlin, too, has never been happier.”

  “A good thing I did? ’Twas your idea, Oren. Don’t ye remember?”

  Oren laughed. “I’m not as big an eejit as I once was, my lady. I know exactly whose idea it was.”

  Mairead smiled. “Ye aren’t an eejit. Ye just needed a bit of help to think of a good solution to the problem.”

  “A bit of help, is it? Believe that if ye will. Caitlin knows she too has ye to thank.”

  “Did she come with ye, then?”

  “Aye, she is helping Ide with the meals. My lady, pardon me, but ye look dead on your feet, perhaps ye should rest?”

  “I couldn’t agree more,” Tadhg said as he walked up from behind and slipped his arm around her. “Shall I show ye to our quarters?”

  She nodded. “Aye, I am tired and it has been a long day.”

  He led her to a tent that had been prepared for them. “Ye rest a bit and I will be back with something for our supper.” At the look of concern on her face, he added, “Remember, ye are never alone. Hamish and Cael will be just outside should ye need anything.”

  ~ * ~

  On the first morning of the fair, she was thrilled when her sister Annag arrived for a visit with her children, eight-year-old Neacel, six-year-old Miach, and her rosy cheeked, three-year-old daughter, Wynne. The MacBains also planned to go on to Rowan’s wedding from the fair. Mairead was pleased to learn her brother Peadar and his wife, Rhona, would be arriving at the fair later in the day. They were staying with Rhona’s family at Currancreag. Rowan himself was at the fair too, having accompanied a small group of MacIan artisans who attended.

  “Well, little sister, have ye settled into marriage? Ye look tired, but happy.”

  “I’m sure it is just the trip and the excitement. I am happy.”

  “Aunty Mairead, do ye have a wee lass for me to play with?” asked Wynne.

  “Not yet, pet.”

  “Mam, when can we go?” whined Neacel. “Why did we come to the fair if we are just going to sit here?”

  “That is enough, Neacel, we will go when I say we go.”

  “Maaaaam. Why do I have to wait for ye?”

  “Because I said ye must and it isn’t safe to go alone. Ask your Aunt Mairead. She and Uncle Flan went by themselves once, against your grand-da’s orders, and Flan got lost. This is the first time she has been to a fair since.”

  “Then let’s go and take Aunt Mairead.”

  “Not another word, young man, or ye won’t go at all.”

  Neacel sat down and pouted but said no more. The memory of the last time brought back Mairead’s old feelings of fear. Her brow furrowed.

  Her oldest sister d
idn’t miss the sudden change. “Are ye all right, Mairead? It’s glad I am ye came, but ye did want to, didn’t ye? Laird Matheson didn’t force ye, did he?”

  “Of course, I wanted to come, Tadhg would never force me to do something I didn’t want to do.” Mairead tried to set aside her fears and alleviate her sister’s concern. “Neacel, I remember how exciting it was when your mam and I were wee lassies.”

  “Mama was a wee lass like me?” asked Wynne in amazement.

  Annag and Mairead laughed, and Miach said, “Are ye an eejit, Wynne? Wee lassies grow up to be big lassies like Mam and Aunt Mairead.” Looking very seriously at Mairead, he added, “When I complain about Wynne, Da says to be thankful she is a wee lass because it is the grown ones that make ye daft.”

  Mairead and Annag laughed harder until Annag was finally able to say, “Grown lassies will only make ye daft if ye grow into a big eejit yourself.”

  “Should I tell Da that?”

  “No, pet, Da already knows,” Annag answered and Mairead laughed until tears ran down her cheeks. She invited Annag and the children to have the noon meal with her, but seeing Neacel’s crushed expression, Annag agreed to take them on to the fair before they ate.

  ~ * ~

  That afternoon Mairead and Tadhg went to the fair together. She found it as exciting and as tiring as she did when she was a lass. There were merchant stalls to peruse, minstrels and other performers to see, not to mention the tournaments and contests of strength and skill to watch.

  They stopped at Aifric’s stall. “How are sales going?” Tadhg asked.

  “Very well, Laird. There is quite a market for the water of life. Isn’t that right, Eavan?”

  “Aye, Da. At this rate we will have nothing left to sell by tomorrow. Then maybe I can see a bit more of the fair myself.”

  “Makes me think I should buy more barley this year and make even more than I have been.” Aifric proceeded to discuss these plans with Tadhg.

  Mairead’s attention had begun to wander when the sound of her brother’s voice penetrated the general hubbub, “There’s my wee sister.” No sooner had she turned around than Peadar’s arms were around her, lifting her off the ground.

  “Peadar, I can’t breathe,” laughed Mairead.

  Tadhg took Rhona’s hands and gave her a kiss on the cheek. “It looks like congratulations are in order.”

  When Peadar let her go, Mairead threw her arms around Rhona’s rounding figure and said, “Oh, Rhona, congratulations. When is the baby due?”

  “August, I think. Mama wants me to come to Currancreag midsummer to have the baby there, but your mother is dead set against it. Don’t be surprised if sparks fly between them at Rowan’s wedding.”

  “Well, ye would certainly have plenty of help at Carraigile.”

  “Aye, but I think my mother is a wee bit jealous of yours. She says your mother already has plenty of grandchildren living with her.”

  “Your oldest sister and her husband live at Currancreag with their children, don’t they?”

  “Aye, they do, but Lara is married to the Davidson heir and lives there, and Shaw is only a year or so older than Flan. It will be years before she has as many grandchildren as your mother.”

  “Speaking of Flan, where is he?” asked Peadar.

  “He is with Rowan watching the archery contest,” Tadhg answered.

  “Are ye competing in anything this year?” Peadar asked.

  “The sword fighting, tomorrow morning.”

  “I’ll see ye there, then. Without Fingal MacIan here, the fiercest competition will be from Rowan and Darcy Fraser so we might stand a chance.”

  ~ * ~

  By the end of the first day at the fair, Mairead was utterly exhausted. She fell asleep almost instantly, sleeping soundly in Tadhg’s arms all night. Even so, she awoke the next morning still feeling tired. Reluctantly she rose, dressed slowly, and splashed her face with cold water before joining Tadhg outside the tent.

  “Mairead, love, did ye not sleep well last night? Ye look a bit pale.”

  “I think I slept well, but in truth I don’t feel rested. I’m also a touch queasy.”

  “Perhaps if ye eat something it might settle your stomach.”

  “Aye, perhaps,” she said and took the oatcake he offered. After only swallowing a few bites, she ran to the edge of the encampment, where she vomited. Tadhg was right behind her. He put an arm around her to steady her, holding her hair back as she emptied her stomach of what little it contained. When she stopped retching, he lifted her into his arms, carrying her to their tent.

  “Tadhg, I can walk,” she protested.

  “Mairead, ye are ill, don’t argue. Ye need to rest.” He lowered her to their pallet, before helping her wash her face and rinse her mouth.

  “I’m fine now. I want to go with ye to watch ye and my brothers in the sword fighting.”

  “I know ye do, but I don’t think ye should. I want ye to rest. I will send Elspet to sit with ye.”

  “Please, Tadhg, I’m sure it will be fine.”

  “Nay, Mairead. Even with blunted swords, it can be brutal. There will be other sword fights to watch. Ye are ill, please rest. Pol and Cael will stay here to guard ye.”

  “They aren’t competing?”

  “Pol hadn’t planned to, and while Cael won the archery yesterday, he isn’t the finest of my swordsmen. He’ll stay.” She frowned. “I know ye are disappointed, love, but I will be better able to focus on the competition if I am not worried ye might collapse amid the spectators.”

  “If it is what ye wish, I’ll stay here. Truthfully, I am tired.”

  After sending for Elspet, Tadhg said, “I’ll lie beside ye till ye fall asleep again.” She curled up next to him, and he rubbed her back lightly.

  She must have fallen asleep even before Elspet arrived. She woke hours later, with the late morning sun streaming in, hearing Elspet talking outside. “I’m sorry, Lady MacBain, she wasn’t feeling well and she is still asleep.”

  “Nay, I’m awake now,” Mairead called, “come in.”

  Both Annag and Elspet entered. Elspet asked, “How are ye feeling, my lady?” as Annag knelt beside Mairead, putting a hand to her forehead.

  “Flan said ye were ill, pet.”

  “Oh, I was. I felt dreadful earlier, but I’m feeling much better now. In fact, I’m terribly hungry. I think I just needed a bit more sleep. I have been more tired than usual lately.”

  Elspet asked, “My lady, have ye had many mornings like this when ye felt tired and sick?”

  “Aye, a few recently, but it doesn’t last.”

  Annag smiled. “Does it not? Sweetling, when was the last time your monthly courses came?”

  “I’m not sure. It was sometime before Easter, I think. In fact, it wasn’t long after Lent started.”

  “So it is well past time they are due?”

  “Aye, I suppose it is.”

  Annag smiled and shook her head. “Mairead, ye are more tired than usual, sick some days, and your monthly is well overdue. Eight babies have been born at Carraigile in the last five years. Did ye learn nothing from your sisters?”

  “I’m going to have a baby?” Mairead asked, dumbfounded.

  Annag laughed. “I suspect ye are, little sister. Ye will need to check with a midwife when ye get home to be completely sure.”

  “Katy will see to ye,” Elspet said. “Oh, of all years for Ian to be left in charge of Cnocreidh. Rest now, I’ll go get something for ye to eat.”

  “I’m done resting for the day. I’ll be out shortly.”

  “Now I know ye are well, pet, I need to get back. The lads went with Hogan’s men to watch the competition, but I left a maid watching Wynne and there’s no telling what that wee lass will get up to.”

  They walked out of the tent together, and Mairead hugged her before Annag left, accompanied by her MacBain escort. Mairead said to Pol and Cael, “Elspet was going to prepare something for me to eat. Will ye join me?”

 
; “My lady, are ye sure ye are well enough? The laird said we were to make sure ye rested,” said Cael.

  Mairead gave her best imitation of Jock. “Cael, lad, I’m right as nails, and I’m famished.”

  “Are ye?” said Pol with a suspicious smirk. “Then I suppose we need to find something for ye to eat.”

  “But Pol—”

  “Ye heard the lady, Cael, she’s ‘as right as nails.’” Pol offered her his arm, and they crossed the camp to the cooking fires. As they approached, Meriel and Gallia were animatedly discussing their day at the fair. Meriel looked appalled. “The things some lasses will do, ‘tis shocking.”

  “What is shocking, Meriel?”

  “Oh, my lady, I’m sorry, I didn’t see ye there.”

  Gallia said, “My lady, we were walking through the stalls, and we saw a lad tupping a lass behind one of them. Practically right out in the open.”

  “Gallia!” said her father.

  “Was he hurting her?” asked Mairead in a worried tone.

  “I’d say not, judging by the way she kept moaning his name, ‘Rafer, oh Rafer,’” said Meriel.

  “We thought for a moment it was Eavan, she had the red hair like Eavan’s,” said Gallia, glancing contritely at her father before adding, “Mama was there, too.”

  “But it wasn’t Eavan. A few minutes later the lass came from behind the stall, straightening her clothes as bold as brass,” said Meriel.

  “That’s enough out of both of ye,” said Pol. “Lady Matheson doesn’t need to hear this.”

  “No, I suppose not, but ye are right, Meriel, ‘tis shocking.” Mairead grinned conspiratorially, and both young women giggled in spite of Pol’s scowl.

  ~ * ~

  The Matheson men who participated in the sword fighting tournament returned in the early evening, tired, bruised, and in some cases bloodied, but with no serious injuries.

  “Who was the victor?” Mairead asked.