Sad Love

by Mj Fields

~

  Her plane landed, and she had hoped his was delayed. She wanted to get back before him so she could get out of there. She tried to hurry. She looked down as she was walking towards the exit and she felt an arm around her waist.

  “Slow down, baby,” he laughed and kissed her neck.

  She glared back at him.

  “Oh, you really are pissed at me,” he laughed.

  He grabbed her hand, “You’ll get over it once it sinks in your over reacting-- again.”

  She felt stupid and wanted to cry, she just let it go and walked with him.

  They got home, and he smiled at her,

  “I love you, don’t be mad. I didn’t know, and nothing happened Tessa… she’s fucking the kicker, and loving the life Miles provides for her.”

  "That's disgusting," she said.

  "They’re adults and it's their choice," he kissed her neck, “You smell good, baby.”

  He started pulling her shirt off.

  “Lucas I still don’t feel all that well.”

  “Oh, well let’s get you into bed then,” he said and walked upstairs and took her shirt off and grabbed a night gown.

  “Baby if I go easy, please may I?” he asked lightly caressing her chest.

  Her body responded, “See they like it.”

  It felt good even if she was pissed. She trusted that nothing had happened.

  “Lucas why didn’t you leave?” she asked.

  “I don’t know, why didn’t you tell me to,” he asked as he rubbed her body.

  “I don’t know,” she said and closed her eyes and laid back

  He was gentle and slow. She was still pissed, but she believed him. She fell asleep in his arms.

  ~

  Tessa dropped the boys off at the Pub and drove to her lesson. She walked into the theatre a little early. She waited in the lobby and Adam walked out with a girl holding hands, and she was fixing her hair, his pants were undone and his shirt was off. She looked down, and he smirked and buttoned his pants.

  “You’re early,” he grabbing his shirt and pulling it over his head.

  “See you next week,” he said holding the door opened for the women.

  “Come on,” he said and Tessa followed him in.

  Tessa sat and played and he listened and stared at her, he didn’t criticize her as much today as he normally did, and when she finished he told her that it was a nice job.

  “Wow,” she smiled.

  “What?”

  “Maybe you should give her lessons every day... you seem much more relaxed,” she laughed.

  “Very funny.”

  She looked at him, “Can I ask you a question?”

  “Shoot.”

  “Is she your girlfriend?”

  “No.”

  “Do you have a lot of friends like that?”

  “Why Tessa do you want to be one of them?” he asked.

  “NO!” she yelled.

  “Why are you asking then?” he said and started writing in her book.

  “I was just curious about how men think.”

  “Trouble in paradise?” he continued writing.

  “I don’t think so…” she stopped.

  He looked up and leaned back in his chair.

  “It easier, it’s new, the shorter the relationship is, the less you have to work at it. There isn’t that disappointing look when you give the wrong gift or say the wrong thing, am I explaining well enough for you or hitting on the subject you are too afraid to ask about?”

  “I get it but why isn’t it nice to look at someone and know what their thinking, know what they need, or just know how they like to be touched?”

  “Well I guess that’s nice, but really does it last?” he asked. “Take you and your boyfriend. Do you know what he is thinking and how he likes to be touched?”

  “In certain situations.”

  “Like what?”

  She thought about it, “Well honestly, sex. I know when he wants it, which is all the time and how it likes it, which is” she stopped and she opened her eyes, “Sorry.”

  He laughed, “Sex isn’t hard to figure out. It’s all that other stuff.”

  “Okay, so a man goes away for a week and a girl, or pig as I like to call her, stays in the same place the whole week. Should he be trusted?” she asked.

  “Did they have sex before?”

  “No, she gave him a blow job.” she said, “But he stopped her.”

  “If she is willing and he’s curious then, no.”

  "Oh," she said looking down. “Can you tell by looking at them if there is something there?”

  Tessa stood up and reached over his shoulder and signed on to facebook.”

  "This is the one," she pointed.

  “I don’t know,” he said uncomfortably.

  “No look at them do you see, I hate that you sucked my dick or let's go screw?”

  “Wow, this is completely uncomfortable,” he side sliding under her arm and standing up.

  “Oh… sorry,” she said, “But what do you think?”

  “Tessa you said ‘suck my dick’ and ‘let's go screw,’ as you were draped over me” he laughed. “That’s kind of messed up.”

  “Oh God, I’m sorry,” she started grabbing her stuff.

  He grabbed her hand and brought her over to the chair.

  “His hands aren’t on her Tessa. In each picture he’s not looking at her, he looks very comfortable in this one,” he pointed to the one that she was touching him. “If he hated her, he probably wouldn’t be so comfortable around her. But trust me I’m not an expert at all. I’m sorry.”

  “Why? Do you not want to get married and have kids and be I don’t know normal?”

  “I have a beautiful little girl and normal just didn't work out for me."

  “Why? Did you cheat? Oh I’m sorry,” Tessa’s jaw dropped, and she covered her mouth.

  "Very personal questions," he said. “I wanted normal, or my idea of normal. My wife had our child a year after we were married and then had my best friend a year later. It doesn’t always work out the way you intend.”

  “I’m sorry Adam, I just thought you were like Lucas used to be, or is, I don’t know,” she said frustrated.

  “How many boyfriends have you had?” he smiled and she looked down, “He’s it isn’t he?”

  Tessa shook her head yes.

  “You’ll be fine, just remember that you matter too. I see you putting him before you, and you’re a baby, so young. I don’t want that for my daughter, to not think she is worth just as much as whoever is lucky enough to date her. I’m not saying anything, but guard your heart Tessa and your happiness.”

  “Thank you, I’m sorry for making this awkward.”

  “Just don’t forget I’m an ass alright?” he said in his customary unattached tone.

  “Hey Adam, do you think those girls you screw don’t really want more than that?”

  “Mind your business and get out,” he smiled. “See you Thursday.”

  She walked into the pub, and a group of them were playing darts. There were a lot of people there, more than usual. She walked up to the bar and sat, Lucas came out of the bathroom and smiled.

  “Hey there,” he kissed her.

  “Hi,” she hugged him.

  “Hey hot buns, you’re up,” a girl yelled to him.

  “Can I finish this game before we leave?” he smiled.

  “Sure.”

  She hated feeling jealous and maybe that was the problem. She ordered a glass of wine and a shot, they never even asked for ID. She put quarters up on the pool table.

  “You ready to get your butt kicked?” she asked the guy who won the last game.

  He laughed, “Are we playing partners?”

  “No, one on one,” she said, “You break.”

  “You any good?”

  “I don’t know, this is my first time,” she said, and they laughed.

  They played, and he gave her pointers he taught her how to hold the stick and
she actually hit a few in. The game was over, and she lost. She shook his hand and thanked him and smiled as she walked to Lucas.

  “What are you doing?” Lucas asked displeased.

  “Playing pool, why?”

  “Nice Tessa, real nice. Let’s go,” he grabbed her hand.

  “I had two drinks we need to stay awhile,” she whispered in his ear.

  “What?” he looked at the bartender, “She isn’t twenty one!”

  “Sorry… I didn’t know,” the bartender rolled her eyes.

  “What the hell was that for?” Tessa asked

  “You don’t get to act like that,” he said through clenched teeth.

  “Like what Lucas?”

  “Like that, playing pool with strangers and drinking,” he was livid.

  She smiled and shook her head she whispered in his ear, “But it’s alright for you?”

  “It’s different!”

  “Yes it is, fuck you Lucas ,” she said and stood up.

  He followed her out.

  “Fuck me?” he yelled. “I could have anyone in that bar! I picked you and your being a bitch!.”

  She laughed as she got in the Jeep.

  “So could I asshole!” she flipped him off as she pulled away.

  She drove home to the farm and snuck in and slept on the couch.

  Her phone chimed it was him

  -where the fuck are you?...Lucas

  -exactly where I should be, home…Tessa

  -Good come get your shit tomorrow, oh most of it isn’t yours I’ll throw your shit on the lawn…Lucas

  -Do whatever or whoever it is that makes you happy Lucas …Tessa

  ~

  Tessa woke up before her parents and showered. She drove to Syracuse opened the door walked in. The place was a mess he had thrown a major fit or a major party. She went back out to the Jeep and grabbed some boxes. She walked quietly into the kitchen and started packing the few things that were hers, that she knew he wouldn’t need. Her Kitchen aid blender and some silver that was her grandmother’s. She grabbed the pictures off the wall and shook her head. He walked into the kitchen.

  “Make sure you don’t touch my shit!”

  “I won’t touch your shit ever again,” she smirked, be pissed Tessa, just stay pissed.

  “It’s real funny isn’t it,” he asked grabbing a glass and pouring milk.

  “Actually it is, I am leaving, we are ending this because I played pool, when your sense of humor returns someday maybe you too, will find humor in it.”

  She walked into the bathroom, “Nice could you flush the toilet?”

  “What are you talking about?” he walked in the bathroom.

  “The toilet,” she looked at him, and he looked confused, “Company last night Lucas?”

  She walked past him and grabbed the conditioner and tooth brush that she had downstairs and walked out the door. She ran upstairs and shut the bedroom door. He stormed in.

  "I don't need you hovering," she walked past him.

  “I want to make sure you only take your things!”

  “Oh now I’m an untrustworthy, whore,” she laughed.

  She grabbed the album she had made of her in all the outfits he had bought her.

  “That’s mine!” He was so angry.

  She took off the ring and threw it at him, “Here, I’ll trade you.”

  “I don’t want that,” he screamed.

  “Neither do I! Here’s an idea… take it to your friend Jenny,” she laughed.

  “That’s what this is about?” he yelled, “You are truly fucking stupid.”

  “No, Lucas I’m not! You’re an asshole,” she grabbed some clothes.

  “What the hell did you want me to do?” he hollered.

  “Here’s an idea smart guy, leave! Come spend your break with your girlfriend and not the people who caused us so much grief a year and a half ago,” she shook her head.

  “How about you leave now and I’ll pack your shit and send it to you!”

  “No, that’s alright I’ll take what I can now, and then you can tell me when you won’t be here so I can get the rest,” she yelled back.

  “NO, not without me here!”

  “Fine then shut up so I can do this. It’ll be much quicker that way and then you can go fucking play with whatever bar whore or football groupie you want to,” she screamed.

  “Or you can go play pool with whoever is next on your list to fucking con into believing your worth letting in. You are such a deceitful bitch Tessa,” he shook his head. “You are no different than any other whore I have had in my bed except you pretend to be so pure and perfect.”

  She went to slap him across the face, and he grabbed her hand.

  “I wouldn’t do that if I were you” he growled, “You may get it back!”

  "Nice," she said quietly and looked at him. “This is just perfect.”

  He stood up and walked out, “Take what you want, I won’t ask you to come back.”

  She couldn’t believe he had said that… it knocked the wind out of her. Not that it should have: she was coming here to get her things, ending it. She stood still, and he turned back and saw her not moving.

  He took a deep breath and walked back in and yelled, “Do you want my help now? You’re not moving all that fast.”

  She shook her head no, and her legs started to treble.

  “What are you doing?” he asked in a slightly softer tone.

  “Please….leave,” she said slowly and waited to hear the door close.

  When she heard it she finally let out her breath and squatted down and hugged her knees and quietly cried. She knew that if she hadn’t talked to Adam she wouldn’t have been so angry and maybe she had over reacted about the dart game.

  “Damn it,” she said and wiped her face, and stood up and walked into the closet and grabbed more clothes.

  She went to walk out, and he stood with his arms crossed over his chest leaning on the door. She jumped and dropped the armful of scrubs.

  She closed her eyes and covered her face with her hands.

  ”You know I can still see you, right?” he asked softly.

  She got angry again, “Yes, could you let me do this please Lucas, alone!”

  “No, it’s not what you want, it’s not what I want. I was drunk, and you’re very angry at me,” he touched her hair. “You’ve been angry for awhile, probably since, I don’t know the body shot thing?”

  “Lucas don’t touch me, just let me do this.”

  “I don’t want you to, we have a month until the end of the semester. Give it a month baby, please. If you feel the same then I will help you move without a fight.” he rubbed her back, “I’ll move into the baby’s… spare bedroom,” he corrected himself.

  She turned to look at him.

  “Sorry damn it I didn’t mean to say that. I'm sorry," he said he saw the anger in her eyes which turned to pain and his turned red, “Tessa I mean it. I am sorry.”

  “But I can’t keep doing this and you Lucas, can’t expect me to be any different than you, it’s unfair.”

  “Tessa, give it a month, I didn’t promise perfection. It’s unfair for you to expect that from me,” he kissed her head, and started to walk out. Lucas stopped at the door and turned towards her, “I put it all back last time, it’s only fair you do this time. I need to leave, or I’ll be late for class.”

  What was that? She laughed and thought he thinks he just won. I’ll give it a month she thought, and you will regret it. She moved all her stuff into what would have been the babies room. She went to work and taught her Friday class and went home. Lucas was there watching TV. She said nothing to him and walked upstairs and grabbed her clothes and showered downstairs. She went into the kitchen.

  “What’s for dinner, Tessa?” he called to her.

  She walked in with a bowl of cereal, “I am having this, you’re welcome to help yourself it’s in the cupboard, milks in the fridge.”

  He grabbed is phone and called a nearby
steak house and ordered himself dinner.

  “No, that’s cool I got mine coming. Oh darn baby did you want something?” he asked.

  There Tessa how did you like that, he thought.

  “No I’m fine thanks for asking though,” Tessa smiled, asshole she screamed in her head.

  He ate dinner and went and showered and came down in shorts and laid in the recliner.

  She went upstairs and changed into a night gown and some lacey panties. She lay on her back on the couch and rested her left foot on her right knee. He looked over and saw the light blue panties and smirked. She was getting uncomfortable and flipped over on her belly and put her ankle behind the right knee and read. Three chapters later she got up to get a drink and dropped the book on the floor. She came back in and laid on the floor positioning herself where she knew he would be able to see her. She laid down on her belly and hooked her ankles and read she could hear him periodically shifting uncomfortably.

  “Are you watching this?” she asked over her shoulder.

  “Uh huh,” he said and swallowed loudly.

  “Oh, I was thought it was boring.”

  He cleared his throat “Do you want me to turn it?”

  “No… I’m going to read anyways,” she arched her back and stretched.

  “Your back sore?”

  “No, just stretching.”

  Tessa bent up on her knees and stretched her hands out as far as she could reach. Her night gown raised and she laid back down and rolled to her back and put her feet flat and held the book up to read. She rolled to her side and started to fall asleep. She rubbed her eyes and sat up and went to bed.

  “Tessa,” he jumped up and walked after her.

  “Yes?” she said yawning.

  “Come to bed with me.”

  “No Lucas,” she yawned. “Give it a month.”

  She smirked as she walked into her new room.

  “After that little show, you really expect me to wait five minutes?”

  “I was reading,” she said and shut the door behind her.

  “Fine, just lay with me,” he said walking in the room, “Let me rub your back.”

  She turned and looked at him sternly, “Nope. Goodnight.”

  Two weeks went by and Tessa and Lucas both continued to walk around and tease each other. Tessa always won and she would shut the door in his face every night. She still dropped him and his friends off at the bar Monday nights and even Thursdays again. She wouldn’t walk in to pick them up, she’d text him when she pulled up out front, he asked why and she reminded him that he had told the bartender she wasn’t twenty one.