Edge of Grey

by Phelps, J. C.

  “What about the Admiral? Can’t you utilize your pull with him to get some jobs?”

  I cocked my head to the side. Was this really happening? Jake wanted to pawn me off on the Admiral.

  “Really? I remember you being set on me doing jobs only for Mesa and now you’re pushing me off on the Admiral? What is going on?”

  “Well? Have you tried him?”

  “Yes. I have. He won’t answer my calls either.”

  I sat at his table and put my head in my hands.

  Jake came up behind me and rubbed my shoulders. I started to melt into his touch. I wanted nothing more than someone to show some kind of interest in me at this point.

  “So you’ve been blacklisted?”

  Again his voice held a twinge of flippancy making all of my warm feelings disappear.

  “Yes!”

  I stood up and moved away from Jake’s touch.

  “I don’t know what I’ve done to warrant this,” I said.

  Jake sighed.

  “I’m going to shower. I’ll be out in a couple minutes. Take that time to calm down.”

  He left me standing alone in his kitchenette area. I resumed my pacing.

  Calm down? He’s going to tell me to calm down? He was lucky people had to shower naked or I’d go into his bathroom and beat him with his toilet scrubber.

  His lack of concern and inability to comprehend the gravity of it all drove home a fact that I’d always known. Jake was all about himself and his own happiness. He had no idea what it was like to have empathy. He could fake it, but he really didn’t care. As always, I’d almost opened up to him but I was getting better at recognizing who he really was. This was something I’d have to deal with on my own.

  Finally, a calm did settle over me and I made a final decision.

  Jake stepped out of his bathroom in nothing but his towel. He went to his dresser and rummaged around until he had a full set of clean clothes.

  “Have you settled down yet?” He asked as he trekked back to the bathroom with his clothes.

  “Well, I was, but now you’ve just pissed me off again,” I said.

  “I really don’t understand why you’re so upset. It’s not like you’ve been working with them anyway,” he said from the other room. “You can’t really expect anything different.”

  “What? I was their partner. They should accept any help I’m willing to give. Plus, this is about White.”

  He’d managed to get me all worked up again.

  “It doesn’t work that way,” he said. “You’re a part of Mesa now, not White and Associates. You know how much information they’d give me and you must be on that same list now. You’re on the wrong team if you want to avenge White’s death.”

  “Well, I’m not going back to White and Associates. Even if I was welcome, they’ve crossed the line,” I said.

  The pain of Black’s recent rebuff still felt like a cold hand squeezing my heart.

  “Are you sure?”

  Jake stepped out of the bathroom as he was pulling his shirt over his head.

  “Are you kidding me? You know what? Just find me something to do. I don’t care what it is. I need to get back to work or I’m going to worry away my days over something that I can’t control.”

  “I’ll see what I can come up with.”

  His voice didn’t sound convincing. I needed him to know I’d do anything to stay busy.

  “I’m still on freelance status,” I said. “I’m up for anything. I wouldn’t be opposed to opening up my old playbook,” I said.

  Jake cocked his head to the side in a question.

  “I took some outside jobs when I worked for White and Associates and I wouldn’t be opposed to doing the same kind of wet work.”

  “Wet work?” Jake’s eyes widened.

  “Come on, Jake. I was just trying to play nice because of White. Now that he’s gone, I might as well do what I’m good at.”

  “I knew it!”

  “Bullshit you did. If you had, I would’ve been asked to take out the people I took out rather than being tricked into it.”

  “It was the way you handled taking them out that was your tell,” he said.

  “Just find me something.”

  “Give me your resume so I can present it to Posner.”

  “You think I have a resume?”

  I laughed.

  “I don’t kiss and tell, Jake. I’m tired of trying to be something I’m not. I just want to work, keep busy. Still, I do have some integrity. I don’t do other people’s grudge hits. There has to be a good reason and I’m the one who decides if the reason is good enough.”

  “So, you wouldn’t take out Eric just because he’s a jerk?”

  Jake grinned at me.

  “No, I’d take out Eric. I said I don’t do other people’s grudge hits. For Eric just tell me how to get away with it.”

  Jake laughed.

  “I’m serious about Eric,” I said.

  Before White died, I would never have seriously considered taking out Eric just because I didn’t like him. Now I didn’t care what the consequences might be and I knew I could live with myself just fine if Eric found the wrong end of a bullet.

  He stopped laughing. His smile remained and he cocked an eyebrow.

  “Good to know. Give me a little time to talk with Posner. I’ll see what he has going on and if you, and you’re newly admitted talents, are a good match. This’ll be good for both of us.”

  “Fine. I’ll be in my room. You can let Posner know I’m putting my freelance status into full effect. I will be looking for outside work and I will take any and all jobs at my own discretion. I’m done tiptoeing around. I work my way or not at all.”

  “That phone call must have been a doozy,” he said.

  My conversations with the men had flipped a switch. I now knew I was completely alone. I no longer had White and Associates and my father had cut ties. I knew I couldn’t fully trust Jake and Posner had never been an option. I was alone. What I did now was entirely up to me. I had no one to impress and no one to answer to.

  “They can kiss my ass,” I said.

  At this moment, the only thing I could think of was to stay busy. My mind worked best when I kept busy and I needed to stay sharp now. I hoped to find a way to work on finding the story of what happened to White, but it wouldn’t be easy with no knowledge or leads other than knowing he’d been killed trying to break into some kind of foreign compound. Whatever I had to sacrifice would go under the knife without question. I was ready to compromise anything. Even if it meant taking on hit jobs for Posner and using Jake for what he was worth. Whatever came after that, I’d deal with it. Besides, I felt like killing something.

  Chapter Two

  I MADE MY WAY BACK to my room and paced for forty-five minutes before I gave in and went for a run. I felt as if I might explode. If Jake couldn’t come through for me, I was leaving. Even if I didn’t fully trust these men at Mesa I didn’t want to have to start all over again, and in a new city.

  When I reached the euphoric high of running too long, I stopped and enjoyed the rush until I saw Eric and then the rush was gone.

  Eric was my shadow, as usual. I’d almost gotten to the point where I could ignore his presence. Almost. He’d been following me around since we’d all returned from Ruiz’s drug refinery in South America. It annoyed me, but I hadn’t said anything because I’d been cooped up in the lodge and Eric was always just around the corner anyway.

  I pulled out my phone and dialed Jake. “Have you talked to Posner yet?” I started walking back to my room to clean up.

  “Yes. Where are you?”

  “I just ran a few laps,” I said.

  “Oh. I was wondering why you were so out of breath.”

  “I need you to tell Posner that I won’t have Eric following me any longer.”

  If I started taking on more serious jobs for Posner, I could not have anyone following me.

  “He’s been following you?”


  “Yep. Ever since we all got back from South America.”

  “Meet me outside my room. I’ll be there in a couple minutes.”

  He hung up.

  “I don’t answer to Jake,” Eric said from behind me.

  “I do,” I said as I walked away from him toward Jake’s room.

  I’d forgo my shower until business was done.

  “Are you sure?”

  Eric was still right behind me.

  My hair stood on end and I had to work at it to keep my gait natural. Every instinct told me to turn around and face my enemy.

  When I reached Jake’s room, I leaned my back against the wall next to Jake’s door and crossed my arms. I felt a little more at ease now that I had Eric in my sight. It had taken all my willpower to walk the hall with him right behind me. Now I could stand facing him and seem as if I didn’t care.

  He took a similar stance directly across the hall from me.

  “So. I hear you’ll no longer be helping White and Associates find White’s killer.” He smiled.

  “Yep. That’s what I hear, too.”

  “No great loss if you ask me. Not worthy of an investigation. He was just a glorified desk jockey, anyway. He couldn’t make it as a SEAL team leader. That’s why he left the service, you know. They asked him to,” Eric said.

  My blood boiled and Eric’s grin became wider.

  “I don’t know anything about his service. Just knew him from working with him. He could be an asshole, but none of it matters anymore. Does it?” I said.

  “Nope. Didn’t matter when he was alive and matters less now that he’s dead.”

  I knew he was trying to push my buttons so I had to keep it together. I drew in a deep breath.

  “Yep,” I said.

  “Jake said you and White had a relationship,” he prodded.

  “I wouldn't call it a relationship. He was fun in the bedroom for a while.”

  “Is that so? Didn’t he have a little—” He held up his pinky and wiggled it in the air.

  I shrugged. “Average, I guess. Why all this interest in another man’s body parts? You sorry you didn’t get a chance to find out for yourself? I mean, he was pretty good in that department. I can understand if you’d have wanted to try him on. Maybe take a couple lessons—”

  He lunged for me, so I sidestepped. Now it was my turn to grin.

  “Whoa. Slow down, Eric. I had no idea his death would be so upsetting to you.”

  “You’re the one who spent five days in your room after you found out he was dead.”

  He must have thought better of trying to fight with me because he didn’t continue any advance. Instead, he backed up to the opposite wall again.

  “Or maybe I just didn’t want to talk to you.”

  “It’s more like Green didn’t want to talk to you this morning. Seems as if White’s death put a damper on your relationship with the rest of the colors over at White and Associates. Hey,” he said as if an afterthought, “you think they’ll change the name now?”

  My mind was made up, I’d find a reason to kill Eric. Sanctioned or not. My thoughts boiled over with hate until, as if a glass of cold water was thrown in my face, I realized he mentioned my conversation with Green earlier that day. I was shocked that Jake would talk to Eric about my personal problems, especially those concerning White and Associates.

  I’d have to be more careful. Not only did Jake tell Eric that White and Associates had brought me into the investigation, he’d told him they’d pushed me out, but what upset me the most was that Jake was chatting with Eric about my sex life. I hadn’t told Jake much about my relationship with White, but I had told Jake more than I ever intended to tell anyone. He had a way about him that just made me open my mouth. I never realized what I was saying until at least half of it was out there. I’d have to remind myself not to be fooled the next time I felt like saying anything to Jake.

  Eric and I didn’t glower across the hall for too much longer before Jake showed up.

  “Hey,” he greeted us both and unlocked his room.

  I let Eric and Jake both go inside before I did.

  Once inside, Jake said, “I know why Alex is here, but why are you here, Eric?”

  “Just wanting to keep up on what’s going on.”

  “Fine, take a seat,” Jake indicated a chair with an open hand. “Posner might have some new jobs for you, but he wants to talk to you first.” Jake said to me.

  “I really don’t care. I only want to keep busy.”

  “I have an idea,” Eric interrupted. “How about you go take out the garbage for a new job? The breakfast rush will be over in the cafeteria in a couple minutes. We could pay you five bucks an hour for that job. I know that’s more than you’re worth, but—”

  “Okay.” Jake held up his hand to stop Eric’s mouth from flapping. “Give us a sec, Alex?” He pointed me toward the sitting room. “Turn on the TV so we can have a little privacy,” he added.

  I shook my head but walked away from the kitchenette area. I plopped down on the couch and pushed the power button on the remote. I still had the perfect view of their conversation so I turned up the volume to almost unbearable levels. Jake glared at me so I turned it down a little. No one here at Mesa knew of my lip reading ability and I wanted to keep it that way.

  “Why have you been following Alex? Posner didn’t inform me of that.”

  I watched Jake’s lips as he spoke. I still didn’t catch every word, but I’d gotten good enough at lip reading I could fill in the blanks fast enough to follow a conversation.

  Eric scowled at me, then said, “Mark asked me to keep tabs on her and I don’t think it’s up to him to keep you informed.”

  I watched Jake roll his eyes. He didn’t even try to hide his contempt for Eric.

  “Did he tell you why? Does he think she had something to do with the bombing at the refinery?”

  Jake shot me his own suspicious look. I had to fight myself to keep my expression somewhat neutral.

  The incident at Ruiz’s oil refinery that doubled as a drug refinery had been all Jake. He’d done it for my benefit so I could pass that information onto White. I’m sure he wanted White to tell his contacts so Posner would be arrested for running drugs. Then Mesa Security would be up for grabs and Jake could take control. In reality, it hadn’t been for my benefit at all. I’d just been an instrument for Jake to use. For him to suggest it might have been me who’d planted the charges on the barge at the refinery was more than crossing the line.

  “No. Do you think she did?”

  Eric’s look became even more predatory.

  “No, I don’t. That’s just ridiculous. But that’s the only thing that’s gone wrong since she started working for us.”

  “He doesn’t trust her, Jake. And neither should you.” Eric said.

  “Because she used to work for White and Associates?”

  “Exactly.”

  “Then we should just fire her,” Jake said.

  “I told him that, but he said he wants to keep her close. She could be useful.”

  “Then why the hell are you doing everything you can to make her walk? She’s already gratefully accepted the freelance title. Wouldn’t it have been better to keep her on the payroll permanently? Don’t forget, it was your fight with her that drove in that wedge. I know you don’t like her, but Posner must see something he likes to offer to keep her on as a freelancer. You should keep that in mind and do only what Posner asks you to do. He always has reasons for what he’s doing and to assume you know what he might want next is never good. I’m not the only one he keeps things from,” Jake said.

  Eric’s eyes narrowed.

  “You and I both know she’s been keeping in close contact with her partners over at White and Associates.”

  “Yes. And Posner knows too. I’d say it’s admirable to want to find out who killed someone you’ve worked with. What that tells me is that she’s loyal.”

  “Again. Exactly,” Eric said. “S
he’s loyal to White and Associates.”

  “She was loyal to White and now she’s loyal to me,” Jake said.

  “I’m not above some tail whenever possible, but do you think it’s wise to be doing her?” Eric’s eyebrows furrowed.

  “I ain’t mixing it up with her,” Jake said. “I’m afraid, if we get too involved, it could cause some troubles here at work. Posner just might side with her. Hell, he didn’t back you when she kicked your ass.”

  “True, But why? I don’t get why she’s so important to Posner,” Eric shook his head.

  “Maybe it’s because of her ties to White and Associates. Have you ever considered that? Don’t forget, White and Associates is now under new management. Posner has reasons for allowing her to stay. We might not know the exact reasons, but he has them,” Jake said.

  “Look,” Jake continued. “I don’t know your initial reason for disliking her but the day you attacked her and she put you in your place was the day you let your grudge get the best of you. I get how that can really bruise a guy’s ego, but don’t forget, she’s put me in my place too. I’m just the bigger man to take advantage of her strengths instead of turning into a crybaby about it. You need to pull your head out of your ass and follow Posner’s instructions to the letter. You screw up his plans for her because you can’t suck it up and you’ll have much bigger problems. Do you think the blood relation will matter much if you’re the one who pisses off Posner?”

  Eric had no response.

  “So, let me do what Posner has instructed me to do,” Jake added.

  “Okay. I’ll leave you two alone. Just let me know if she leaves again. We need to know where she is at all times.”

  “Don’t worry about it, Eric. If she’s up to no good, she’ll hang herself.”

  Eric nodded and left Jake alone in his room with me.

  “What was that all about?” I asked as I muted the television.

  “Posner’s asked Eric to keep an eye on you.”

  “The second I have to take orders from Eric is the exact moment I leave for good,” I said.

  “Me too. I’ll have to talk to Posner about this. I’m a little worried he asked Eric without telling me about it. Makes me wonder what’s up.”