Backstage

by Mandy Bee

  “Sounds perfect!” He signals for the waiter then places our order. So far everything is going great. I can tell he went to great lengths to make all this happen. The car, the backdoor drop off, the private room, it is all really sweet.

  Over lunch we talk about our families, well mainly his. Other then John he has a brother named Jeff who is in the Navy. His parents would have rather Jeff do something with music but he loved the idea of serving his country. Justin beams with pride when he talks about him. Hearing him talk about all the love in his family makes me a bit sad. I love Chris, he is the best big brother a girl could ask for, and takes very good care of me. But sometimes it does get lonely with just the two of us.

  As we are eating our triple chocolate crumb cake, Justin asks me if I have any hobbies that keep me busy. I tell him about my cross stitching and that it is too hard to bring stuff like that on the road so it is something I only get to do when we are at home. So on the road my hobbies are music and reading.

  “What is cross stitching?” He asks as we climb back into the white car, we had to go out the back again but I like it that way.

  “It is an form of art to me. You have fabric, thread, a needle and a pattern. With each color the pattern comes to life on the fabric. I have some pictures on my phone wanna see?” I pull out my phone and go to my cross stitch album. I show him my stained glass cross, a few designs I had done for people Chris knew who were having babies. But it was the one I did of a red rose that made him gasp.

  “Oh wow! That looks like a real rose.” He says taking the phone out of my hand and studying the picture closely.

  “Thanks, it was an easy pattern, I do this type of stuff just for fun.” We flip through a few more before we pull back up to the buses.

  “Why didn’t you bring your stuff with you? If you like it so much I would think you would want to work on some patterns or something.” He asks as we exit the white car and he slips the driver a fifty dollar bill.

  “It’s too much to carry around, plus Chris would hate me hogging his computer. Most of my patterns are on there, I prefer using a computer for my patterns instead of looking at the book. Plus I don’t think my craft bag would fit in my bunk.” I laugh and sit down on one of the couches on the bus. Lunch with Justin was so relaxing, it amazes me how much I like to be with him.

  “Do you and Chris share a computer?” He asks handing me a bottle of water.

  “Yeah, I had one but it was ‘misplaced’ a few tours back. I know who took it but I didn’t want to cause a fight.” I just roll my eyes, it was easier to just finish the tour, which was only three week total then cause a big stink and get Chris fired.

  “Let me guess a girl took it because you wouldn’t help her hook up with your brother?”

  “Yup, but we share his laptop now and it’s no big deal. When he is on break at home he mostly tries to hang out with the few friends he keeps in touch with, so it is pretty much mine then.” I don’t know why but it is so easy to talk to him.

  “You know if you wanted to we could find a craft store and get you a few things so you can cross stitch. I know you probably have tons of stuff at home but if it’s something you like doing, then why not get a few things for you to work with?” He is sitting right beside me with his arm around me.

  “I don’t know where I would put any of it. Plus that means more to pack when we head overseas.” It would be nice to be able just to plug my music in and get lost in a pattern, but I don’t know if Chris would like it much.

  “Don’t worry about any of that. The backroom is yours to do what you want with. If we do have meetings I think you should be in there anyways seeing as you are to be with us for the whole tour. As for the packing, we get a few days off before heading overseas. Our last concert is in LA, you guys could fly to Sacramento then just pick out what you think you could take with you. We can look up what is and isn’t allowed on the airplanes, then you can make a choice as what to bring with you.”

  “I don’t know, I’ll ask Chris what he thinks first.” I grab the remote and turn on the TV, no Golden Girls but Law & Order is on. We are both relaxing together when Chris, Dave, Scot, and the roadie who’s name is Peter comes back onto the bus. I jump up because the way Justin and I were sitting wouldn’t have went over well with Chris. His arm was still around me but I had let my head rest on his shoulder while watching TV.

  “Hey, you look nice!” Chris hugs me. “Did you enjoy lunch? Where did you go?”

  “Thank you, he took me to a pub owned by a friend of his, and yes I enjoyed myself.” I look over at Justin who is now talking to Peter. “How did the practice go?” I whisper to him.

  “Good, he is even better then John.” He whispers back.

  “Okay everyone we need to have a meeting, back room guys now.” Justin heads back there with all the guys following him. I just smile and shake my head. He’s so young but so in control. “Flower? I said it’s meeting time, that means you too sweetie.” Justin yells for me. Shit, did he just call me sweetie?

  As I walk into the room Chris is staring at me, I guess he heard him say it too. I tuck myself into the corner of the couch hoping I can just listen and not have to talk.

  “So everyone knows John is out for good right?” Justin starts, everyone just nods at this. “Well Dave, Scot, I’m sorry about all this. I know we have been together the longest, but you guys could see John was getting a big head.” He looks at them both, I guess seeing if one of them will back him up.

  “Dude no worries, John was a jerk and everyone knew it. I’m just glad someone came along to help you see that.” Scot says and then winks at me.

  “Yeah, thanks Flower. Because of what you and Justin got going on he finally stood up to that jackass of a brother.” Dave laughs. All the color drains from my face, I can’t even look at any of them.

  “Hey guys don’t do that. She didn’t do anything. John wanted her gone so that he could try and control me. He saw her as a threat, so he cooked up a plan to get rid of her. I think everyone can see that she is close to her brother, and I know it would kill her to be away from him. So after making sure that she really did want to stay with us, I let John know his place in this group, way under me. I started this band, I am the voice of this band and this is my fucking band!” He takes a deep breath, the pain is still new, he needs to calm down.

  “Breathe dude, we know we all make up the band but without Justin Crow there is no Freak Street. Hell if it wasn’t for you I’d still be playing in that night club in LA. So, yeah its your band and you are for real our boss, but don’t let John get to you, he is gone now, no more worries.” Scot tries to calm down Justin.

  “Sorry,” One more deep breath and he goes on. “but I had it out with him about trying to make her leave. He said we didn’t need a cunt on the bus causing problems.” I gasp at what he just said, John called me what?! I can see Chris is grinding his teeth, I lay my hand on his shoulder trying to relax him.

  “That asshole called her that?” Dave snarled. I could see that the others were just as upset as Justin was.

  “Yup, and that’s just the beginning. He went on a rant about how I had to keep my mind on the band and I couldn’t let an outsider mess up my vision. What my vision is showing me now is that John had me writing all the time, always working on either new shirts, new logos styles, anything that made us more money. I have worked my ass off to get to where we are now, to be number one on the charts to having our own heading lining tour. I know I couldn’t have done it without some of y’all but John will never be welcomed back into the band ever again!!!” Justin has his fist griped so tight his knuckles are white.

  We watch as Justin closes his eyes and takes a few deep breathes. I think he is counting to ten but I’m not a good lip reader. After a minute or two he opens his eyes and looks calmer but still upset.

  “I know Dave and Scot will agree that Chris is the best drummer this band has ever had, so we need to vote tonight. Is Chris permanent?” Without even thinkin
g about it Dave and Scot both said yes at the same time. “Welcome to Freak Street Chris, this will be your band too, if you want to stay.” Justin looks at both of us.

  “Yeah, this is great! Yeah I want to stay!!” Chris jumps up and hugs Justin, then Dave and Scot get up to hug him too. Wow Chris is in a band for real this time. I look up and Justin is watching me, I smile up at him and he winks at me. Chris comes and picks me up and spins me around, I have no choice but to giggle. “Now y’all know she stays too right?” Chris asks while putting me down.

  “Flower you are now a member of Freak Street too. Welcome to our family.” Justin says coming over to hug me, then the others do the same. Family? That word, can this really be a family?

  The rest of the meeting dealt with Peter who was very quiet while everyone talked about John. They have asked Peter to take John’s place until a new bass player could be found. He was okay with this, he said he didn’t mind doing a few shows but didn’t really want to be part of the band either, he liked his job as a roadie.

  Justin told us that once he talked to the manager about Chris staying on full time that we would have to deal with the press for a little bit. We would have to give at least five interviews with bigger named reporters, and some photo shoots would need to be set up so that Chris would be on the new merchandise. Then Justin pulled me aside and said that the photo shoots can be fun and maybe we could have some pictures of us taken too.

  Getting to sleep was hard after everything that happened. The show went better then anyone could have thought. Peter was great, I think the guys still hope he will change his mind about joining the band but I don’t think it will happen. Justin’s dad called and threw a shit fit on him over John. But once he found out all of what John said about me, and the name he called me, his dad calmed down. He said to let me know that none of his family thinks of me that way and that he was very disappointed in his oldest son. This made me very happy, I was worried that they would think I caused a fight between their sons because I wouldn’t come stay with them. He was on the phone almost a full hour with his parents going over everything. He explained to them why I wanted to stay on tour, I could never leave Chris, I just couldn’t. Once they understood that they seemed okay with everything.

  When he got off the phone it was after one in the morning, I was up front watching our show. I just smiled up at him as he came to sit beside me. We didn’t talk he just put his arm around me and we watched TV. We said goodnight about 3am, and I just laid in my bunk with a huge smile on my face. What a day, not a day I’m likely to forget anytime soon.

  WHEN I WOKE up the next morning I am once again alone on the bus. I guess this is going to be a normal thing, and I’m okay with that. I take my shower, eat breakfast and take my meds. I’m on my second cup of coffee when my phone dings. Chris is texting me telling me that they are on their way back from an interview and that we needed to talk. Yesterday when we needed to talk someone was trying to kick me off the tour, I wonder what today’s talk will be about. I don’t have to wonder long, all the guys come on the bus at once just laughing and joking. This is something new, I have never seen all the guys like this. But its nice to see Chris smiling and joking around.

  “Morning!” I say in a cheerful voice, yeah I’m even happy today.

  “Hey,” Chris hugs me. “how you feeling today?”

  “Good, everything okay? You said we needed to talk.” Might as well get it over with.

  “Um yeah, I’m going to let Justin handle this one. I don’t need a black eye for tonight’s show.” Chris laughs.

  “And I do?!” Justin laughs while coming up and hugging me from behind.

  “Okay I promise no black eyes but will someone please tell me what is going on?” I don’t have a clue what this is all about, and I’m starting to get worried.

  “Come on, let’s go talk.” Justin takes my hand and pulls me to the back room. I look back at Chris who is just smiling at us. Dave hands him an X-Box controller, guess its video game time.

  Once in the back room I do like I always do, curl up in the corner of the couch and just wait. He doesn’t look like he is ready to say anything, he is just pacing around the small area.

  “Will you say something please? I’m starting to freak out here.” My voice is shaky, I wish he would just tell me what the hell is going on. He comes and sits beside me and takes my hand.

  “Okay, I have been warned by Chris that what I’m about to tell you, well the two things I’m about to tell you will upset you. So can I have both of your hands please?” I let him take my other hand in his, but I just stare at him. “Flower I need you to go onstage tonight, so I can introduce Chris as the new drummer and you as his sister. The reporters are going to be photographing you and we need to get it out that you are his sister, not his girlfriend.”

  I start to panic when I realize what he just said. “No, no I can’t go on stage! I…please, please don’t make me.” I’m almost in tears, I can’t be up there in front of all those people!! He wraps his arms around me, I’m just now noticing how bad I’m shaking.

  “It will be okay, you will only be out there for no more then five minutes I promise.” He is rocking me, like you would a small child, trying to calm me down.

  “What’s the other thing?” I pray it’s not as bad as the first. He lets go of me and stands up facing away from me, this can’t be good. When he finally turns around to look me in the eyes, I can see he is worried.

  “We made the papers.” We? As in the band or as in……oh shit! I just look at him with panic on my face, I don’t know what to say to all this. “There is a picture of us at the Pub yesterday. I called Sara she found out that our waiter took it and sold it to a few tabloids. She said to tell you she is very sorry and that the guy has been fired. I’m so sorry Flower, I should have asked Sara to wait on us.” He flops down on the other side of the room and puts his head in his hands. My heart ached for him, he was kicking himself over something he didn’t do.

  “You didn’t do this, you took me out for a very nice lunch and thought that everything would be fine. It’s not your fault that the waiter sold us out, we were just friends going to lunch together.” When he doesn’t answer I get up and walk over to him. I kneel down in front of him, pulling on his hands so he will look at me. “Please don’t do this to yourself, please.”

  “I just hate that you are now in the spot light because of me. I know you like to be left alone, and don’t want to be around too many people. But with Chris joining our band, and you staying with us, you are going to have to start joining us at interviews and maybe even doing a few on your own, just until all this settles down.”

  “Okay, I’ll do it, I won’t like it but I’ll do it. This is the best thing that has ever happen to Chris, I can’t let him down. But do I really have to go in stage tonight?” I give him my best puppy dog eyes, begging him not to make me.

  “I’m sorry but yes, there will be more reporters here tonight because of everything that is going on. It is best to do it tonight. I’ll try to make it as fast and as painless as I can, but I do need you to do this. Please?” Now he is giving me puppy dog eyes. I laugh at him then smack him on the leg while getting off the floor. He jerks my arm and pulls me to him. I scream then giggle. He is holding me to him saying ‘please’ over and over again, and all I can do is laugh. We both stop laughing and jump up when Chris breaks into the room, I guess I screamed just a little too loud.

  “Christopher Jacob Marshall don’t even think about getting mad! You are the one who wanted him to talk to me about all the things I’m going to have to do, like going on stage tonight. You don’t have a right to look at me like that when you chickened out.” I go and hug him “But Justin was very nice about it, I’m not happy about doing it but for you I’ll do it.”

  “Why did you scream if he was nice about it?” Chris looks at Justin who is staring at the floor like he is scared of him or something.

  “Oh chill out, I was trying to beg him not to mak
e me and he pulled me over to him, making me scream and laugh while he begged me to do it.” I punch Chris in the arm making him jump. “Now go play your video games and leave us alone.”

  “So you’ll go on stage? And he told you about the photo?”

  “Yes and yes. I would like to see the photo, I hope I don’t look too bad in it.” I see Justin pull a piece of paper out of his back pocket.

  “Here, you look beautiful. It had to have been take not long after we got there.” I look at the picture, I don’t look bad at all. We are both laughing at something, who knows what, it seems like I’m always laughing when I’m with him. I look over at Chris who is watching me closely, I roll my eyes at him then push him out the door and shut it in his face.

  “Go play your game Chris, and don’t come back in here without knocking!” I hear him grunt then walk off.

  “You need to get dressed, we are going out for a little while.” Justin says while pulling me into another hug, I have never been hugged this much in my whole life!

  “Is it safe?” I don’t need my picture in the paper again.

  “I have a bodyguard going with us, and I’ll be wearing a hat and sunglasses, so as long as we don’t draw too much attention from others we should be fine.”

  “Where are we going?” I know I should just put my foot down and stay on the bus but going out with Justin sounds nice.

  “I’m taking you shopping.” he smiles then walks out of the room leaving me speechless. Shopping? But I hate shopping.

  I CHANGED MY mind, shopping is fun. Well it was fun with Justin. He took me too a high end fashion boutique so I could get an outfit for tonight, I begged him to take me somewhere cheaper but he wasn’t having it. I ended up with six new outfits that I had to model for him and I was told how great I looked in every single one of them. He said I need new things to wear to interviews and the photo shoots. After twenty minutes of fighting with him about buying me too many clothes, I just threw my hands up and said fine. I know he spent a good five grand on me but I wasn’t allowed to see the total. I was taken back to the car then left alone while the bodyguard went to get him.