Backstage

by Mandy Bee

  “No!” I say trying not to cry. How could they say that? The article goes on to say that I am milking my relationship with Justin for all I can. Thousands of dollars worth of clothes and jewelry, plus getting on ‘mommy’s good side’. I think I’m going to be sick.

  “You guys are going to have to fight this, and fast.” Scot says.

  “Fight? What do you mean fight?” I look over at Justin. “Has your mom seen this? She knows that’s not what was going on right?”

  “She knows that, she was appalled by it. But we are going to have to do some interviews and fast. If this gets out of hand the press can label you a gold digger, and that’s one title that will haunt you for life.”

  “GOLD DIGGER?” I scream and everyone jumps “What the hell?” I try to pull my hands away but could only get the one Chris was holding. I try to get up but Justin pins me to the bed, he is laying on top of me!

  “Out! All of you, now!” He snaps at them. I watch Chris’s face go blank. He follows the others but never takes his eyes off of me until the door is shut. “Flower stop this!” Justin growls at me.

  “Get off of me!” I wiggle trying to free myself.

  “NO! Now stop it!” He kisses me softly making me stop. “That’s better, now we need to book a few shows for tomorrow. We need to find a way to tell everyone that what was said was wrong without causing a press nightmare.”

  “Justin you bought me that dress, and the jewelry, for the opera. But at Tiffany’s I bought my necklace, not you! I was not trying to get on your mothers good side, well not like how they mean it. But the story is true to a point. You spent money on me, I didn’t ask for it, but it happened. Then I get my picture taken in the most famous jewelry store in the world and everyone thinks you’re fronting the bill.”

  “I don’t care to tell them that I bought the dress and stuff for that night, but we need to get ahead of all this. Now The Today show is willing to work us in tomorrow, and so is The View. Also Rolling Stone and People magazine have already called begging for interviews. We could do them tomorrow evening. Do you think you could handle a day of press?” He is still on top of me, he knows I can’t think straight like this.

  “Fine, but the boys need to find something to wear other then a t-shirt and jeans.” I flop my head back and close my eyes.

  “Sweetie, these interviews are just for us, they won’t need to be there.” He says then starts to kiss my neck.

  “Why not?” I say but it comes out almost like a moan.

  “Because this is not about the band, it is about us.” He works his way from my neck to behind my ear then back again. “You will need three complete outfits, maybe four even. Do you want me to help you pick something out from what you have with you or do you want to go shopping?”

  “You’re joking right?” I hiss at him and start to fight to get free again. “Shopping is what got us into the mess!” I growl at him.

  “Then we will pick something from what you already have. Now stop fighting me and let me get back to enjoying you.” He whispers the last part, but I’m not in the mood anymore.

  “If you don’t get off me I will scream bloody murder, and once I’m free I’ll kick you so hard in the balls you’ll need another three weeks off to recover!” He releases me but smacks me on the butt when I get out of bed.

  I need to talk to Chris, if anything I need his strength and comfort right now. His bedroom door is open, he is just sitting on the bed. It’s like he is waiting for me, knowing I would come find him. As soon as I walk into the room he jumps up and hugs me. I love my brother more then anything in the world and right now I need him to hug me and tell me everything will be okay.

  “I can’t believe this is happening.” I tell him as I sit down on the bed.

  “What did Justin say?” He asks while standing beside me.

  “He said that The Today and The View are willing to work us in tomorrow and two magazines have already called. He wants to do those interviews tomorrow evening. Chris I don’t know what to do, I know I have to do the interviews but how do I explain to the world that I’m not a gold digger?”

  “It will all be okay, I promise you.” He kneels down in front of me to look me in the eyes. “Flower I know how much you care for Justin, and everyone can see he cares for you too. But maybe it would be best if you guys don’t go out in public together for a while. Tomorrow you don’t have a choice but maybe while we are over seas you guys could, I don’t know just cool off some, you know until all this settles down.”

  “You want us to break up?” I don’t want to lose Justin, I can’t lose him.

  “No, not break up. Just not go out on dates, or shopping, and things like that.” He takes my hand and gives it a little squeeze.

  “I don’t know, he has a few things planned for London, but maybe you’re right. I’ll talk to him and see what he thinks.” I sigh and close my eyes. “Chris I’m scared.”

  “There is nothing to be scared of, we will take care of this then head back out on tour.”

  “That’s not why I’m scared. I’m scared that I’m falling in love with Justin and that I’m not the type of girl who can handle being with someone like him.” As I start to fall apart he pulls me up and into a big hug.

  “You are a strong, beautiful woman. You can do anything you set your mind too. He is lucky to have you.”

  “I need to go pick out a few outfits for tomorrow.” I say breaking the hug and walking to the door. “Love you”

  “Love you too sis.” He says just staring at me.

  As I lay in bed trying to go to sleep, I keep wondering how I went from background girl to this. The only answer I can come up with is it is because of Justin. I have fallen in love with a huge rock star and now I can’t handle being in the lime light. Maybe I should ask Chris if he would let me go home and stay by myself for a while, or maybe go stay with Rachael and Mike. I’m sure they would let me, but John is still there and that could cause problems.

  “Hey, it’s late. Why are you still up?” Justin turns over and brushes the hair out of my face.

  “Can’t sleep.”

  “Sweetie you are going to need some rest, we have a long day ahead of us.”

  “That’s why I can’t sleep, Justin I don’t know if I can handle all this. I mean I’m going to do the interviews and everything but maybe I shouldn’t stay on tour with you guys.” He bolts straight up when I said this, grabbing my arms and holding me at arms length to stare at me. The moon light is the only light in the room but we can still see each other.

  “Where the hell is this coming from?” He growls at me. “What? You want to jump ship and run because of one bad article? You can’t do that!”

  “You don’t understand! I’m not that type of girl! I don’t like being in the newspapers, I don’t like doing interviews on TV, and I hate when people write shit about me!” I’m screaming at him.

  “I do understand, but honey all that comes with this life style. There is nothing we can do about it.” He tries to hug me but I break away from him and get out of bed.

  “Maybe I don’t want this life style! Maybe I just want to go home and forget that all this shit happened!”

  “You want to forget about us?” He sounds like I just punched him in the stomach.

  “No…yes…hell I don’t know. All I really know right now is that the whole world thinks that the only reason I’m with you is because of your money. So maybe Chris is right, maybe we need to cool things down for a while.”

  “Are you breaking up with me?” He is getting mad.

  “I don’t want too, but if you can’t understand that this life is something that I never wanted…” I take a breath and walk to the door “…then maybe we should end this before one of us gets hurt.” I walk out the door as the tears start falling.

  AFTER A THREE hour fight with Chris, he finally agreed to let me go home. I promised I would call him at least twice a day, and he hired a car service so that I could go out if I wanted too. I said g
oodbye to Dave and Scot but I couldn’t talk to Justin. He is the only one who would be able to talk me out of going home.

  When I landed in Sacramento my driver was waiting for me, along with about thirty members of the press. I had to fight my way to baggage claim, luckily airport security helped me get to the car. I called Chris to let him know I landed and was on my way to the house. He said to call him tonight before I went to bed, and said everyone was already missing me.

  Walking into the house was hard, everywhere I looked reminded me of my family. In a matter of months Chris and I found a place that we truly fit in, we found a true family. I finally found someone who wanted to be my friend without wanting something from Chris. Who stood up for me to his own family, who wanted to hang out with me. Who wanted to be with me, who I fell in love with.

  I crawl in my bed without taking off my clothes, I just lay there and cry my eyes out. I feel like I can’t breath, it hurts so bad. I wish I had never met Justin Crow, I wish I could have just stayed in the background and none of this would have ever happened! But I know none of that is true, my time with Justin was some of the happiest times of my life. And without him Chris would have never found a permanent place in a band. He always dreamed of belonging to just one band, now his dream has come true. The only problem is I can’t be there for him anymore.

  My phone ringing wakes me up, I look at the clock its 3:45am.

  “Hello?” I grunt.

  “Why didn’t you call me!?” Chris yells.

  “I fell asleep, I’m sorry.” I go to stand up but I’m twisted up in the sheets.

  “I need to warn you but I had to wait until the others went to sleep. We’ve been up all night. He made me swear not to tell you.” He takes a deep breath like he is still fighting with himself over what to do. “Justin canceled the rest of the tour, he is telling the press that he can’t do it because of some medical problem.” I’m stunned, I don’t know what to say. He did what? “Are you still there?” Chris asks after a few minutes of silence.

  “Yeah I’m here, but how can he do that? There is a lot of money involved, won’t he have to pay it all back? He can’t do this!” I finally get free from the sheets and start pacing around the room.

  “They are going to announce it in the morning.” I can hear how sad he is.

  “Chris I need to call you back, I need to do something.” I hang up without waiting for an answer. I speed dial Justin, I’m going to chew his ass out!

  I have to call five times before he picks up.

  “Yeah?” He answers.

  “What the hell do you think you are doing?” I yell at him.

  “I should have known Chris would call you, look this has nothing to do with you.” He snaps at me.

  “It has nothing to do with me? Oh come off of it Justin! You can’t cancel the tour! You have twenty five shows that are already sold out!”

  “No, you come off of it Flower! I’ll cancel whatever the hell I want and anyone who doesn’t like it can fuck off!”

  “Really? Does that make you feel better? Does it make you feel good to use your power like that? To screw your fans over, and your crew? You need to grow up! You need to get your ass over there and finish the damn tour!” I’m screaming at him.

  “Why should I? Give me a reason why I should stay on this tour! And don’t use my fans because I’ll make sure they are taken care of.”

  “Because you love your music too much to give it up right now. Because this is not you, the Justin I know would let the tour heal him not hurt him.” My voice is calm and steady.

  “The Justin you knew died the minute you left.” I can hear his voice cracking.

  “Please don’t do this, please go and finish the tour, if not for yourself do it for me. I’m sorry about everything but I can’t be a rock stars girlfriend, I can’t live in the limelight. But don’t punish everyone else because I was too weak to go on.”

  “Will you promise me something?”

  “What?”

  “If I stay on tour, will you promise me that once I come home that we can spend some time together, and figure something out. I don’t want to lose you Flower.” My heart is breaking right now.

  “I promise I’ll be here when you get back.” I whisper.

  “I love you Flower.” I can tell he is crying.

  “I love you too.” I hang up and sink to the floor.

  THE GUYS HAVE been over seas for three weeks now. I have been following everything they do online. Luckily the press didn’t do what we thought they would. The tabloid that printed that nasty article didn’t do a follow up about it and no one else made a big deal about me. I like to think it is because I came home, but maybe the fight was for nothing. Guess we will never know. I talk to Chris everyday, and sometimes Dave and Scot too. Justin and I talk about twice a week. It’s still really hard on both of us, but we end each call by saying I love you.

  The Paris show is in two days, and I’m flying out to surprise the guys. Chris knows but he promised not to tell anyone. He said that the back room on the bus was still there if I wanted to stay. I asked him why didn’t he use it, he said it didn’t feel right, that it was my room.

  Tammy has stopped by a few times to check on me, we are starting to get along, well to a point. I still don’t like her but it is nice to have someone to talk to. She is taking me to the airport tonight, with the time change and everything I’m hoping to get to the arena right as the buses do. She came over early to help me finish packing.

  “So, no one but Chris knows you’re coming?” She asks while making some coffee.

  “Nope.” I still don’t know how to act around her, but I’m trying to be nice.

  “Have you thought about staying on tour with them?”

  “Yeah, but it wouldn’t be a good idea.” It would hurt too much.

  “You know if you would change your mind I could ship everything to you, if you would want to go ahead and pack that stuff too.” Hmm, that’s not a bad idea.

  “What if he doesn’t want me to stay?” I whisper to myself but she heard me.

  “Justin is going to be so happy to see you that he will be begging you to stay.” She pulls on my hand and leads me to my room. “Why don’t we pack all your stuff just in case, and if you do come back, I’ll come over and help you unpack.”

  For the next two hours we pack almost every item of clothing I own. I’m taking one suit case and a carry on with me, but she will ship three suit cases to me if I need them. Will I need them? Will he want me to stay? Could I handle going on tour again? These last three weeks alone have been hell but I survived it. Yes I talked on the phone a lot, and Tammy coming over did help, but I’m still here.

  “Please text me when you land, and give Chris a hug for me.” Tammy says as they call my flight.

  “I will, and thank you so much for everything.” I hug her, I can’t believe I’m hugging Tammy but I am.

  “Flower please listen to your heart, and don’t let him get away.” She says sadly.

  “I will, I’ll call you, I promise.” I hug her once more and get in line to board. Paris here I come! Justin here I come!

  CHRIS HAD A driver waiting for me when I landed. He was holding a sign that read ‘Flower Rose Marshall’ I don’t know why Chris added my middle name but whatever. As we pull up to the arena I start shaking, the buses are already here. I texted Tammy after I got off the plane, she wished me luck. Yeah I need lots of luck right now.

  The driver hands me my bags and I thank him before he leaves. Taking a deep breath I walk up to the bus and see Tom standing by the door. Chris mailed me my badge and I knew I had to wear it to get clearance to be back here. He smiles at me and gives me a big hug. Without saying a word he takes my bags and opens the door of the bus. I climb on the bus and see everyone sitting there playing video games. I feel instance joy and love and excitement!

  “FLOWER!” Dave and Scot screamed, they took turns picking me up and spinning me around. I hugged Chris then looked at Justin. Say
ing he was in shock would be an understatement. But after a minute he walked up to me and kissed me.

  I could hear the others laughing but I didn’t care. It felt so good to be in his arms again, and to kiss him again. When we broke the kiss both of us just smiled at each other. I turned to look at everyone.

  “I missed y’all!” I said starting to tear up.

  “Did you know about this?” Justin asked Chris. Chris just nodded, Scot punched his arm asking how could he not tell them that I was coming.

  “Can we talk?” I ask Justin, he smiles at me. “We’ll be right back.” I tell the others as we walk to the back room.

  Wow, Chris was telling the truth. Everything is just how I left it. I run my hand over the comforter and smile when he wraps his arms around me.

  “I missed you so much.” He whispers in my ear. I turn to face him and put my arms around his neck.

  “I missed you too. Are you okay with me flying out here?” I ask as I lay my head on his chest, I feel safe for the first time since I left.

  “Of course I am.” He kisses the top of my head “You know we have a four day break after Paris, I was thinking about fly home to see you. Guess great minds think alike”

  “I guess so.” I giggle

  “How long are you staying?” I knew he would ask this but how to I answer?

  “I don’t know yet, how long do you want me to stay?” I ask pulling back some so I can look at him.

  “I want you back Flower, please come back.” He is chocking up, and if he starts crying then I’ll start crying and we will be a mess when we go back out there.

  “I still don’t think I can live this life style, I’m not cut out for it. But I would be lying if I said I didn’t miss it.”

  “Our next stop is in Bologna Italy, a little over nine hours away. What if we stayed in Paris for a few days then meet up with the others the day of the show?”