To Know Me (The Complete Series, Books 1-4)

by Marcy Blesy

  Sarah: Nice to know you’re alive.

  Me: Funny.

  Sarah: Miss u.

  Me: Me, too.

  Sarah: U going to prom?

  Me: Yes.

  Sarah: Omg! With who?

  Me: A friend.

  Sarah: A guy?

  Me: Of course.

  Sarah: Send pics.

  Me: Maybe.

  Sarah: U better.

  I smile thinking of her reaction if she knew I was going with the hottest guy in school. Other than Kyle—who was nothing more than an extremely poor lapse in judgment, to say the least—I haven’t spent much time with guys.

  Sarah: Send pics to your Mom.

  I don’t answer.

  Sarah: Would mean a lot to her.

  I shut my phone off. Ty’s regional track meet is tonight, and prom is tomorrow. I don’t want to think about anything else.

  “Wow! Red?” asks Carmen when I get in the car. She’s giving me a ride to the track meet because she’s dating Sam, a pole vaulter.

  “What do you mean?” I ask, suddenly very conscious of my new red tank top and white shorts.

  “No, it’s cool. You look great. I’m not used to seeing you in anything but neutral colors. That’s all. You need to stand out more. You’re a pretty girl.”

  “Thanks.” Shopping for prom dresses was such a freeing experience, I’d splurged on a few things out of my comfort zone. I still have plenty of money left from what Mom gave me when I left, but it’s unusual for me to buy anything but the necessities.

  “It’s nice to see you give Ty half a chance. He’s a really great guy. He hasn’t had the easiest life.” We pull into the parking lot of the Benton track before I can ask her what she means. “Let’s meet back here at 7:00. I’m sure we’ll cross paths before then, but since our guys are in different events, we might not.” Our guys. I kind of like the sound of that. Too bad it’s temporary, just a fling, I tell myself, but an appropriate fling, not like Kyle. I need to prove to myself, too, that I’m stronger than I was then. I know I am.

  Ty sees me before I see him.

  “Hey, Mae. You look…uh…what’s the word I’m looking for?” he teases.

  “Hot?” I suggest.

  “No.”

  “Hey! Thanks a lot.” I punch him on the arm.

  “I need this arm for the shotput, girl. Watch it! What I was trying to say before you interrupted me is this: You look beautiful.” He pushes my hair to my back and kisses me on the cheek.

  “Thanks.”

  “Let’s go, Ty. Focus on your events!” yells Coach Preston.

  “Catch you later.” I wave good-bye and watch him walk away to warm up with his team. I don’t know what I did to deserve to meet a guy like Ty. I am not going to waste this time together. Surely, the gods won’t punish me.

  Carmen and I meet up again during Ty’s first heat of the 800 meter run. Given the chance, I’d like to think I could keep pace with him, but seeing him fly around the final turn, it’s hard to imagine I’d be anywhere close. Maybe with a change in circumstances I could have been on a high school track team. Who knows? Maybe I’d even place in the regional meet.

  “Good race,” says Carmen. “I’m going over to the pole vault area to watch Sam, if you want to come, too.”

  “I’ll meet you there. I want to congratulate Ty first.” Carmen walks toward the pole vault area. I walk toward Ty. He raises his hand when he sees me. I get that giddy schoolgirl feeling inside and walk a little faster.

  “Looking classy, Macy,” I hear from behind. I freeze. I know that voice, smooth as elevator jazz music and sharp as cutting glass. I think about running. That’s kind of my thing. I just don’t know where I’d go. I didn’t drive, and Carmen is walking in the opposite direction.

  I turn around instead. “Shut the hell up, Kyle.”

  “Well, that’s quite a greeting. Although I should have expected it. You are your father’s daughter. The last time I saw you, your dad made it pretty damn clear I was nothing but the shit on the bottom of his dirty boots and deserved to rot in hell. Too bad he made it there before me.” If looks could kill, Kyle would drop dead, impaled with a pole vaulting pole.

  “Shut up! Stop it! Don’t talk about my dad that way!” Why is he here? I want to kill him.

  “What are you going to do, threaten me, too? You’ve got nothing on me, Macy. You were never pregnant. That was all a farce to get me in trouble. You’re nothing but a whore.”

  “You bastard!” I push him hard. He must not be expecting it because he falls to the ground.

  “What’s going on here?” yells a man I don’t know. I wipe away the tears that streak down my face.

  “She pushed me. Did you see that?” Kyle shouts. “Get her out of here. She’s psycho.”

  “Mae! What’s going on? Who the hell is this guy?” It’s Ty. I start shaking. I feel like I’m going to throw up.

  “Mae? That’s not her name, asshole. It’s Macy. She’s nothing but a lying bitch. You ask her to tell you about Kyle and how I rocked her world. I’ve got a race to run.” Ty stares at me trying to understand. “And, FYI, she’ll play the pregnancy card to screw with you. Consider yourself warned. Later, dude.” I want to scream and yell and curse. A crowd is gathering around us. I want to curl up in a ball and die.

  “I…I…I…I have to go. I’m so, so sorry, Ty. I’m so sorry I hurt you. I never wanted to hurt you.”

  “I’ll take her home, Ty.” It’s Carmen. I’m not surprised she heard me from across the field. “You guys can talk later. Go on. Finish the meet.” She grabs me by the arm and leads me to her car. He’s still standing there looking like he’s been punched in the gut. I can’t blame him for not assuring me that everything’s all right. He has no idea the extent to which I’ve lied to him.

  Carmen doesn’t talk for the first twenty minutes of our ride back to Woodson. When she starts, I feel like a prisoner during a ten hour interrogation. It’s time to come clean. I had no idea Andersonville would even send a team to Benton. Unless I move far away again, I’m bound to keep colliding with my past. I’m just so sick of running.

  “Who are you?”

  “Macy Tatum.”

  “Where are you from?”

  “Andersonville.”

  “Why did you lie about your name?”

  “I ran away from home.”

  “Why?”

  That is harder to answer. That one has attachments, namely, Dad, Laura, and Grandma. And all the crap with Kyle.

  “Why?”

  “I killed my family.”

  “WTF?” Carmen slams on the brakes and pulls over to the side of the open road on the highway between Andersonville and Woodson. “I think you need to get out. I’ve never been anything but nice to you. Get out!” She points to the door.

  “Carmen, I don’t mean I literally killed them.” I don’t know if I should laugh or cry. It seems ludicrous to laugh at a time like this, but it seems, for the first time, equally ludicrous to equate what happened to my family to the sole actions of myself. “Oh, man,” I put my hands in my face and slump forward in my seat. “I’ve screwed up so badly.”

  “Mae, Macy, whoever the hell you are, you better start talking a little faster because I don’t know if I should shove you out that door, kick you in the gut, or hug you.”

  So I tell her. I tell her about Kyle and how my possible pregnancy scare drove Dad and Mom apart. I tell her about Dad and his accident. I tell her about Laura and her raspberry blue lips that seemed so fresh and alive the last time I saw her at the hospital. I tell Carmen about Grandma and her broken heart. From my fake moms, to my need to run when things get too hard, to how much I want to graduate and make my family proud, I tell her everything. With the car still parked on the side of the road, Carmen takes a deep breath when I finish talking.

  “So, you did all of this because you were afraid you were hurting your family?” I nod. “That’s messed up.” I can’t argue with her. It would sound messed up
to me, too, if I hadn’t lived it. To me it felt like I had no other option. “You have to go home.”

  “That’s where you’re taking me when you start driving again,” I say.

  “No, I mean you have to go back to your real home.”

  “I can’t do that. I’ve…”

  “You have real problems, no doubt about that. You need therapy. Who wouldn’t if they had gone through what you have? But think about your poor mom.”

  “You sound like Sarah.”

  “Who’s Sarah?”

  “My best friend.”

  “She’s a wise girl.” I smile. Carmen’s right. Sarah is a wise girl. And I should go home. But nothing can take away my fear that something else bad is going to happen.

  “Take me back to Woodson. I’ll figure something out.”

  By the time Carmen drops me off back at the school parking lot to retrieve my car, I feel like a hundred-pound weight has been removed from my heart. Seeing Kyle sucked. But it forced me to face my past. Maybe I can have a future that involves relationships. Maybe it was dumb luck, as Grandma said.

  “Wait!” I yell to Carmen before she drives away. “What do you think I should say to Ty?”

  “Tell him the truth, like you told me. He can handle it. He’s had a shitty lot in life, too.”

  “What happened?” I ask.

  “Let him tell you. It’s his story.”

  Chapter 9:

  Prom is tonight. I texted Ty three times after the track meet yesterday with no replies. I roll over and check my phone again. Nothing. I don’t know what to do. While half the girls in town are getting manicures and pedicures or getting fancy updos or blowouts, I don’t even know if it’s worth it to get in the shower. He’s not coming. I know it. Why should he? Any guy that lied to me like I lied to him wouldn’t get a callback, either.

  I decide to text Mom.

  Me: Hi.

  Mom: Hello, Macy. How are you?

  She always answers right away. I imagine she has her phone turned up at all times waiting to hear from me. Though my leaving was done with the best intentions, my life here in Woodson, no, the people here have made me reconsider my decisions like I never have before.

  Me: I’m sorry.

  Mom: Me, too.

  Me: For what?

  Mom: For making you feel like you had to leave.

  Me: Mom! You didn’t do anything wrong.

  Mom: Miss u.

  Me: Miss u 2 Mom. Bye for now.

  Mom: Bye, honey.

  I click off my phone. I really screwed up. I turn on my laptop to research therapists in the area. I don’t know the first thing about counseling. Do you call the first one on some master list for the county? Maybe there are online reviews. I am reading the reviews for the “C” names when I hear the doorbell. Nobody visits me here. I peek out the blinds. No one is there. Instead, I find a paper bag from Infusco. I look inside. It’s a cinnamon sugar donut with a note.

  Everybody’s got secrets. Pick you up at 8:00. Be here.

  Ty

  I stand in front of the mirror for one last look before Ty arrives. I decide to wear my hair down because Ty likes it that way. Plus, I’ve always been too impatient to let my hair grow past my shoulders until I ran away. Suddenly, those everyday stresses don’t quite matter so much. My hair’s past my bustline now. I kind of wish I’d gotten something more prom traditional to wear. The dress is short and rather plain, but with the red shoes and jewelry I guess it will pass. Sarah always said my legs were my best accessory anyway. I’d have to agree.

  The doorbell rings for the second time today. I take a deep breath and open the door. Ty is wearing a black tuxedo with a white tie and vest. His normally tousled hair is combed with a hint of gel to smooth out the flyaway strands of hair. He looks amazing, especially because he’s smiling that beautiful smile while holding out a corsage with a red rose that matches my shoes perfectly.

  “Thanks,” I say, slipping the corsage on my wrist.

  “Wow! Breathtaking,” says Ty.

  “A little dramatic maybe, Ty?” I ask.

  “I just call it like I see it. Honesty is my best characteristic.” There’s an awkward pause. I don’t know if he’s taking a jab at me or not. I guess I deserve it. “Hey.” He grabs my hand. “That came out wrong. I just meant you look really great, and I mean it.” His smile tells me the truth.

  “I hope you don’t mind, but we’re not going to a restaurant for dinner.”

  “Oh, that’s no problem.” I hold my arm over my stomach in case it starts gurgling. I’ve been waiting for a fancy meal all day. I’m glad I put mints in my purse. He stands on the landing of my apartment watching me. “What?” I ask because I start to feel uncomfortable.

  “I wish you knew how special you were,” he says. Now I understand.

  “Carmen told you everything, didn’t she?” I ask. He shakes his head yes.

  “I wish she hadn’t.” But in a way I am relieved I won’t have to relive every detail over again. And would he have even wanted to take me to the prom the way things ended at the track meet without some kind of explanation? “Then why didn’t you answer my texts?”

  “I was just trying to process everything. But I don’t want to talk here. We’ve got places to go. Come on.” He grabs my hand and leads me down the stairs. I leave a lamp on by the front door, which I lock and pull shut. Ty holds open my car door like a perfect gentleman. Behind him I watch a group of women exit the house across the street. Today they aren’t dressed in thrift store cast-offs. Instead, they’re dressed in skirts and blazers, maybe not designer threads, but certainly several steps up the fashion scale from normal.

  “New neighbors?” asks Ty, noticing my distraction.

  “Yeah, something’s up with that house,” I say.

  “I think it’s a half-way house.”

  “How do you know that?”

  “My mom volunteers at a local shelter. She was doing some big clothes and furniture drive with her country club friends a few weeks ago to fund a couple of new halfway houses for women around the city. I could be wrong, but that’s just my guess.” I know this isn’t Beverly Hills, but the thought of recently released prison inmates living a stone’s throw from my apartment isn’t very appealing despite any amount of rehabilitating-back-into-society they are supposed to be doing.

  “Why are we here?” I ask Ty as we drive through the tunnel of trees that leads to his house.

  “We’re having dinner,” he says.

  “I thought you said we weren’t going to eat.”

  “No. I said we weren’t going to a restaurant.”

  Ty parks the car and opens my door. I’m not sure I want to get out, though. What about his parents? What has he told them? Do they hate me for lying to their son? Do they know my mom wasn’t a drug addict? Does Ty know that? We haven’t had a serious conversation since seeing Kyle at the track meet yesterday. I have no idea what Carmen told Ty.

  “Are you coming or not?” he asks holding his hand out to me as I sit plastered to my seat.

  “Ty, I’m not sure this is the best time to meet your parents. We…we have a lot to discuss.”

  “They’re not even here, Mae. Can…can I still call you that?” he asks quietly, the first time acknowledging a bit of truth he now knows.

  “Yes. My dad called me Mae. I love it.”

  “Great. Then, Mae Tatum, you need to trust me tonight, okay? I’ve got a nice meal waiting for us down at the dock. You might want to take those shoes off, though.” I slip off my heels and put them on the roof of Ty’s car. Before I realize what’s happening, he picks me up.

  “What?”

  “You can’t walk in your bare feet. I couldn’t tell you to bring your tennis shoes. I never know when you’re going to bolt.”

  “Not funny,” I say, but I settle into his arms anyway, laying my head against his strong shoulder. He’s wearing new cologne tonight, woodsy and sweet at the same time. I’ve never wanted to kiss someone more than I
do right now.

  The dock is set up with a small wooden table and two matching chairs. A separate table holds heating burners that keep platters of covered food warm. A single red rose sits in the middle of the table. Willie Nelson is singing a romantic love song from a speaker on the path next to the dock. The sun sends sparkling ripples against the surface of the water. I don’t know what to say. I’ve never seen anything more romantic.

  “Is there something wrong?” asks Ty after a few minutes of silence.

  “It’s…no one’s…I….” I needn’t worry about my stumbling around for the perfect word. Ty puts his lips on mine. He pulls back to look at me, my eyes telling him it’s okay. He kisses me again as his fingers get tangled in my hair. Only when he sits me in the wooden chair at the table, do I realize I’ve been holding my breath.

  Ty dishes mostacolli and seasoned green beans onto our plates.

  “I didn’t think you cooked,” I say.

  “Catered.”

  “That makes sense.”

  “Are you disappointed?”

  “Not at all. You have never disappointed me, Ty.” It’s true, too. While we eat, we have our first conversation about what Carmen told him. He doesn’t have many questions, and I don’t provide more information than he already has.

  “You know, you’re not responsible for what happened to your family,” Ty says.

  “It’s easy for you to say.”

  “What’s that supposed to mean?”

  “No offense, Ty, but it means you drive a BMW. You live in a mansion. You’re an only child. Things haven’t exactly been hard for you.”

  “Maybe you should actually spend your time getting to know people more instead of less, Mae.”

  “Huh?”

  “You’ve never considered that not getting to know someone for who they really are can actually hurt them more than if you took the time to know them well.”

  “I don’t understand.”

  “Clearly.”

  Then I remember what Mrs. Baker said once at school:

  Look, there are a lot of people rooting for Ty in this town. He hasn’t always had an easy life. It’s nice to see all his years of hard work have allowed him to open himself up to other people. Really, it’s a 180 from ten years ago.