Burning Bridges

by Nadege Richards

  Silence consumed us, and then he finally let go of my hand and reached for my face. He caressed my cheek ever so softly and said, “How do you do it?”

  “How do you mean?” I whispered, leaning into his hands.

  “This.” He let me go and motioned to the river, the sky. “You’re so different from everything here; it’s almost as if you don’t belong…”

  I looked away and my face blanched. Why was everyone saying that? “Can I confide in you?” I asked. He nodded slowly. “I really don’t believe I belong here. I’m just so lost, Ayden.”

  “But you won’t be for long,” he said. I glanced at him, but his attention was on the river. “Everything and everyone has a place to be, Echo. It’s just a matter of how they get there and when. You have a place; you just have to find it.”

  I stared at him and nodded slowly. “That’s how I feel. So wise now, are you?” I pushed his shoulder and he fell back into the sand. I thought I might’ve been too rough, but he laughed and picked up a handful of sand, his eyes never moving from mine.

  “Ayden, do—” He threw the sand at me and I shrieked as the tiny grains found their way down the front of my dress. I sat with my hands unmoving and mouth agape.

  “You should really return it.” Ayden shook his head at my dress. “That’s some bad quality.”

  A single raindrop fell from the heavens, and I stared up at the sky as millions more began their descent. It was a light drizzle at first, but it didn’t stay that way for long. Ayden got up to stand and I quickly dragged him back down. “Oh, no. This is war.” I grabbed the collar of his shirt and pushed sand down his chest, laughing giddily at his reaction. His eyes lit up as he chuckled and he tackled me do the ground. Wet sand covered us from crown to sole and stuck to our bodies like paste.

  Ayden leaned over me and I stared up at him in bewilderment. “You are so much like me, Ayden. I think it is why I don’t understand you much, I don’t even understand myself.” Thunder rolled and the sky darkened. Yet, we lay staring at each other in the wet sand as if it was sunny and our being together wasn’t forbidden.

  “I understand you, Echo,” he said over the thunder. His eyes glanced down at my lips and I smiled.

  “Do you, now? What is my favorite color?”

  “Blue. Like the sky and your eyes.” His hands touched my lips and I felt them tremble.

  “How did you…”

  “Lucky guess.”

  I laughed and rolled him over in the sand, leaning down and staring into his violet irises. I’d never touched him in any way other than holding his hands, so when my fingers came out and touched his damp lips, I believe I was more startled than he was. I smiled, his warm breath just below my fingertips. “Do you believe in second chances, Ayden?” I said to him. The thunder was rolling louder and a strong wind began to pick up.

  He covered my hand with his and I watched as he slowly kissed each of my knuckles. My heart just about leaped out of my chest. “Not until I met you,” he said.

  I smiled, absolutely hypnotized by his lips. I leaned in and he watched me. There was a flicker of doubt and I caught myself. “What am I doing?”

  “Being a fool,” Ayden said with a smile. “But I’ll be one with you.” His hand on my cheek slid behind my neck and he brought me closer.

  Our lips touched briefly and I felt myself begin to panic. “We shouldn’t,” I whispered against lips that sought mine out. But even as I said the words, I’d been leaning in closer to him. Brushing away the hairs on my wet cheeks, he brought my lips to his and I could have sworn I physically felt all my inhibitions melt away. His lips were soft and sweet, like saccharine strawberries dipped in molten, white chocolate. I pushed myself down on him as he kissed me with a soft-spoken compassion and ran his hands through my hair. I smiled against his lips. When we broke apart, we were both laughing hysterically.

  “I’m so sorry,” I whispered, still smiling in a complete haze.

  The rain slowed to a drizzle again and he said, “I’ve wanted to kiss you since the first day.” It must’ve taken him a lot to say it; he didn’t strike me for an emotional man.

  I touched his lips again and frowned. “First day? What about that first time we met? You were angry at me for something, weren’t you?”

  He frowned and said, “That wasn’t about you.” When he caught my confusion, he said, “I stole from your kitchen and the Servant Keeper caught me. I didn’t—”

  “You don’t have to explain anything to me. Your life is hard; it’s understandable.” Whatever it had been about, Ayden didn’t have to elaborate. I was curious, of course, but had I been put in that positioned, I would have been ashamed.

  “I’m ashamed,” he suddenly said, as if he’d read my mind. “Things are hard, Echo, but that’s still no excuse to take the easy way out. It’s a poor—”

  “Stop.” I shook my head and laced my fingers through his. “If you’re going to say you’re a horrible person, you’re not. If you’re going to say it’s a poor excuse, it wasn’t. If you’re ashamed, don’t be. We are not only judged by our actions, Ayden, but by our thoughts. Your thoughts were pure—you did it for your family, you did it for love. If that’s not a good excuse, then I don’t know what is.”

  “You would say that,” he said, glancing away from me. “You have everything so good here.”

  “In a place I don’t belong. Where do I belong, Ayden?”

  “I don’t know, but you’ll figure it out.”

  “And you’ll be the first to know.”

  He smiled and shook his head. “Can we talk about something else?” He stared down at my lips again and I blushed.

  “We were supposed to be reading. Not kissing.” I poked him in the eye and he laughed.

  “We can do both.” His eyebrows shot up and he flashed me that queer, cocky smile.

  “Not the best idea you’ve had all day, sorry.” Glancing down at our hands, I ran my fingers over the scars on his knuckles, tracing them until I knew everyone like they were my own. “You can end up dead if this continues. I don’t know how it digressed to this, but you’re dealing with a betrothed woman, your Princess no less. Do you know what that means?”

  “I know,” he said. “But second chances only come once.” And that was it. I kissed him and allowed it to linger, speaking the things I couldn’t.

  I sighed and stood to my feet, shrugging out of the sand. It’d take me three baths to get the sand out of my hair, but if I could help it, the smell of Ayden would never leave me. He stood, too, and I looked up at him.

  “Reading tomorrow and that is it.” I tried my best to stay serious, but he saw right through me. “I don’t want this to end.”

  “Neither do I.” He pushed my hair behind my ear and held my face in his hands.

  “So, you can’t tell anyone. This place is just between you and me.”

  “You’re afraid,” Ayden said. It wasn’t a question, more of a statement. A true statement. “I’m afraid, too. But I like you, Echo. A lot. This Prince guy is one lucky bastard.”

  “He’s a bastard, but not lucky.” I frowned and took a step away from him. “I should go. I’ll be back again, though.” Ayden nodded, and just like every day that we had met, it was a pain to say goodbye. “I like you, too. Maybe more than I should.”

  I turned from him, wet and covered in sand, and walked back to the palace before rehearsals began.

  N I N E T E E N

  Echo

  I returned with a smile on my face.

  It was probably my biggest, given that I felt as light as air, as weightless as a feather. I stumbled through the foyer with my fingers on my lips and the taste of Ayden on my tongue. He was the sweetest flavor I’d ever tasted, I was sure, and I wanted more.

  Sand still stuck to weird places on my body and I shooed away any guards who presumed I needed help. I hummed to myself, feeling completely on top of the world, and even spun around in circles until I grew dizzy. Ayden consumed me, thoughts of him devoured my
mind, and his smell, still lingering on my skin, held an aftermath of great significance—my mark of freedom. At that moment, Everlae’s problems, my wedding, and even Mother couldn’t bring me down from the high.

  “Princess Echo, the King wishes to speak with you in his study room,” a guard barked.

  But my Father could.

  I stopped dancing and turned to meet the guard. Trails of wet sand covered the white marble floors in the foyer and everyone stood around staring at me as if I’d grown another limb. It felt as if I’d stepped into someone else’s home, and for a moment, that’s what I allowed myself to believe. Tomorrow I’d see Ayden. To feel his lips on mine again, being here for another night was the perfect price to pay.

  “Yes. Alright.”

  I dusted off the remaining sand from my bodice and pushed my hair behind my ears. No matter what I did, though, I still looked like I’d been rolling around in the sand. The guard led me through the foyer and ballroom, and the entire time I prayed to the gods he’d believe the lie I was about to tell him. Father and I hadn’t spoken since the day out in the garden and after all that’d happened, I wasn’t hoping for a friendly get-together.

  My mind spun in circles, making up lies to lies and excuses for excuses. Even though I knew Father would read me like an open book on display, it was much better than the truth. That I didn’t want to get married, I hated Noah, I had run away to Old Haven, and had hopelessly fallen in love with a Hunter. A Hunter who had no idea I withheld such love for him.

  I sighed and walked into my father’s study with my head hung low. Mother was nowhere to be seen and I wondered if she was taking care of Everlae. Hopefully Silas was far from here, because I swore if I only saw his face I’d be tempted to beat him relentlessly and the same way he did my sister.

  In the room, Father sat at his desk with his hands steepled on his chest. The guard bowed and left politely.

  “Have a seat, Echo,” Father instructed. I moved to the armchair in front of his desk and stared out the window, thinking of Ayden and how far he must’ve been. Did he walk fast, wanting to get far from me as fast as possible? I smiled. Or did he linger like I did, smiling and spinning in circles as if life couldn’t get any better than this?

  “They are beautiful, aren’t they?” Father said, staring out the window with me.

  I turned to him and nodded. He must’ve been talking about the garden outside. “Yes, I’m sorry. I got distracted.”

  “No need,” he said. “Bleeding hearts hold something of a sentimental value here in New Haven, don’t you think?”

  “Well, sure.” When he glanced over at me, I nodded eagerly. “I mean, yes. They’re beautiful, but don’t you think you should rename them, Father? They have such a horrible name.”

  Father looked me in the eyes and smiled. “If only I could do that with everything, change it.” He looked away from the window and to me. “If I could take everything I didn’t like, Echo, and change it, do you think that’ll make New Haven a better place?”

  I hadn’t the slightest idea where he was going with the conversation, so I just shrugged. “That’s really up to you. You are King, right? Controlling people’s lives and ruling out the wrongs?” I didn’t notice the clip in my voice until after the words had been said. Maybe it was being here and not there with Ayden that set my blood ablaze. Maybe I just didn’t care anymore.

  “You’ve changed, Echo,” Father said matter-of-factly. “This wedding has changed you.”

  Or Ayden did, I thought. “I have changed, Father.”

  His facial expression also changed when he said, “Would this have to do with your absences as well?” He glanced down at my dress and shook his head at me. We stared at each other for a moment, and every lie I’d been ready to give blew up in my face. “Noah tells me of your whereabouts, Echo. I can’t say I didn’t expect this from you, but I can say I don’t like it.”

  My lips began to tremble and I had to fight to hold back the unspoken tears. “What has he been telling you?” I whispered.

  Father went quiet and the empty room seemed jarringly desolate. “Are you purposely trying to sabotage this wedding? There’s no other explanation I can come up with, Echo!” His voice suddenly made me jump, and I bit into my lip. I kept my eyes on the window, but my feet tapped against the marble in a way that declared how guilty I was.

  “Father, I don’t—”

  “Don’t you dare lie to me,” he cut in. “Apparently you’ve forgotten where you are, who you are, and where you come from. This boy, Echo, a Hunter? One of them? Your mother has to be right. If it’s attention you seek—”

  Tears spilled from my eyes and the words fell from my lips in one breath. “I just want to be happy.”

  “It’s not about your happiness, Echo! Only selfish people are to think that way.” Father stood from his desk and moved around to me. He stood in front of me—grey hair, tall frame, and bright but aging eyes. “We are higher than them, and we always will be. What do you expect people to think when they see you mingling with them, Echo? You’re heiress of a great nation and you don’t want it? Do you not understand what great fortune has befallen on you?”

  “What if I do not want it, Father?” I stared up at him with a face full of tears.

  “It is not about you, my daughter. You were created to lead a nation, not to chase wild dreams with a peasant.”

  A peasant? Is that how they view them?

  “That is all? So, I was an obligation? I wasn’t created to love and to be loved?” I stood to my feet and faced him. “My happiness matters to me, Father. It’s the utmost important thing in my life and if I am happy without being a princess and without the dresses and jewelry, why am I forbidden from that privilege? You are my father, and yet you strip me from that!”

  Father shook his head. “This is an infatuation, Echo. It will pass. You are my legacy and no daughter of mine will dishonor my family and my kingdom! You will rule.”

  We stood in silence and I searched his eyes for something other than apathy, but that was all I was getting from him. I took a step back, as if seeing the brick wall that stood between us for the first time. “If I must live another miserable day in my life, I promise you it will be my last. There is no peace, no rest, and no sanctity here, Father! You throw people off to their deaths without a single thought! I cannot—will not—be heartless. I do not have it in me. If I rule, I will knock down every pillar you have built and create my own. Your decrees would cease to exist, because I refuse to let lives of the innocent fritter away! Hunter, Warrior, there is no damn difference.”

  If Mother had been here I knew she would have long slapped me and sent me to my rooms, but Father stood staring at me as if I no longer belonged to him. In that moment, I knew he’d disowned me. Maybe five weeks ago I would have been afraid of this moment, but now I faced it courageously.

  “You are not to see him again. In fact, I’ve already called border patrol and he is no longer permitted on New Haven property,” Father sneered.

  “You can’t do that! He needs to work, his mother is ill and—”

  “What his kind needs and wants is not my responsibility, Echo!

  “She is dying!”

  “People die every day!” he barked. His voice grew deeper and hoarser. He took a step closer to me and stared into my eyes. “I can be very fair, Echo, when those working with me are willing to be reasonable. But when I am lied to, cheated, and overruled, I tend not to take it lightly.”

  I clenched my jaw and glanced outside the window again, wishing I was out free with the many bleeding hearts. In turn, I was inside with a dying heart. “I can’t stay away from him.”

  “You will,” Father whispered. “Be aware of the fact that I can drag him from his home at any given time. His mother will be one child less and as soon as he steps into that arena, Echo, this infatuation with him will end.”

  “You wouldn’t dare. He hasn’t done anything!”

  “He is interfering with my daughter and
a betrothed woman! He has done everything wrong! He should already consider himself dead.”

  “Father, please.” This time I begged. The thought of Ayden in that arena, fighting for his life, absolutely frightened me. If I allowed myself to dwell on the idea, I was sure it would kill me or drive me straight into the arms of insanity. “I beg of you!”

  “He has tempered with my reign, Echo. If he knows what is best for him, he will leave you alone and allow you to marry the Prince.” Father’s hands clenched into fists and I held back another sob. I was faced with only one decision, really. “You are not to see or talk to him again, is that understood? If you do not want to see his body hung in the square for all to see as a traitor, you will do as I ask.”

  I was begging for someone to kill me. I never even got to tell him how I felt or what he meant to me that night at the river. I never held him, and the thought that I would never see him again mortified me. They were right when they said that time heals everything, but it never heals a broken heart or torn memories. It didn’t heal my shattered dreams, my hopes, and expectations. If anything, they made a mockery of them and pulled them further from me. Time would go on, but I would never be as happy as I was today. I’d never be as free and joyful. Everyday would be a mourning of the happiness I was denied.

  I bit down hard on my lip until I tasted blood and slurred, “Yes, Father.”

  He smiled and his face relaxed. As he leaned forward and kissed my forehead, I cried into his chest. “It will all be over soon, princess,” he crooned. “Eight days. Give it eight days.”

  Eight days…

  T W E N T Y

  Ayden

  “What are you doing?” Adamo asked.

  I twined the bleeding heart necklace around my fingers, watching as the glass glistened in the glowing sun. “Nothing,” I said, smiling. I slouched in the rocker on his cluttered veranda and stared out at the people walking by. “You ever think about what’s in all those bushes out there? I mean, there has to be something out there besides swamplands, right?”