My Almost

by Kelsey Cheyenne

  “Hey, come on in,” he says sounding sure of himself. He’s the picture of calm confidence and it makes him sexy as hell.

  I follow him into his apartment, 4D, I take note. When entering his place, the first thing I see is a Nike shoe poster I recognize from work. A long hallway leads to his living room, and as he shuts the door behind me, I notice the kitchen is on the right-hand side.

  As he leads me down the narrow hall, we pass a door on the right and several small posters of beer and half-naked women lining the walls. Total bachelor pad. As assumed, the hallway opens to a living area with a staircase on the right. There is a patio door in the back of the room, which contains two small gray sofas facing a large flat screen TV against the opposite wall.

  “Make yourself comfortable.” I take off my sneakers and set my bag down on the floor before sitting down on the couch on the opposite side from Aiden. The sofa isn’t large, but the space between us is still vast. “What do you wanna watch?” He’s scrolling through the channels, looking for anything interesting to put on.

  “I don’t care.” Indecision is my worst trait.

  “Have you ever seen Hall Pass?” he asks and I tell him no. “It’s funny.” He starts the movie as I attempt to relax.

  And here we sit, watching this movie ultimately about sex. The sexual tension in the room sizzles and it’s as if a tether is forcing us together though we’re trying to ignore it. Every fiber of my being is being pulled toward him through an electric force between us. I’m hot and fidgety, wanting to check him out but not wanting to be obvious.

  “Are you Irish ‘cause my penis is Dublin,” he says out of nowhere, pulling me from my thoughts.

  I burst out laughing, “What?” I turn to face him with wide eyes and a wider smile.

  “It’s from the movie, didn’t you hear them say that?” He cocks his head at me and I feel like a freaking idiot.

  “No, I must’ve zoned out.” It’s a lame reply but I don’t want to tell him I was too busy fantasizing about him to pay attention to the movie.

  “Are you cold?” He asks, offering me a blanket. It’s the end of June, and while the air conditioner in his apartment is on, I’m too flushed being in his presence to get cold.

  “No, I’m okay.” It’s the wrong answer because he pulls the blanket over himself. I could’ve shared it with him, but I didn’t read the room fast enough to understand what he was really asking

  “Did you like the movie?” The credits are rolling and my mood flattens knowing the movie is already over. I’m not ready to go to bed yet when he and I haven’t even talked.

  I nod, “You were right, it was hilarious.” Plus, I have a slight crush on Jason Sudeikis, but I don’t tell him that.

  “As funny as this?” He grabs me, tickling me senseless.

  I burst out laughing, unable to refrain. I lie back, trying to squirm away from him, but he pulls me upright. As he tugs me forward, I swing my legs over his and straddle him, facing him.

  He stops ticking me, his hands still on my hips, and nothing seems funny anymore. The air is charged, palpable with sexual tension so thick you could cut it with a knife.

  He pulls me closer and kisses me, and I let him, kissing him back with such an intense passion I forget about everything else in the world.

  I don’t care that I have a boyfriend or that Aiden knows about him. I don’t care that we work together and this could end in disaster. I’m caught up in the moment, adrenaline pulsing through my veins, all my nerves reacting to him—his touch, his smell, clean and manly with a hint of cigarette. I want more. I want him with every awakened, fiery nerve in my body.

  He pauses to remove his glasses and sets them on the end table before pulling me back in and continuing to kiss me. He shifts us, and now I’m lying on my back underneath him on the couch with his arousal pushing at my most sensitive core.

  “Do you want to go upstairs?” His voice is hoarse with desire.

  I nod because I can’t even form a coherent thought aside from, damn, he’s a good kisser.

  He grabs my hand and leads me upstairs to his bedroom. As he opens the door, I notice his room is a mess, with clothes strewn everywhere. There are also two beds, well, mattresses, on opposite corners of the room, both lying on the floor.

  “I guess you won’t need to sleep in my roommate’s bed,” he jokes, looking back at me, with our hands still intertwined as he leads me to his bed.

  “Yeah, I wasn’t really planning on it, anyway.” My voice is stronger than I feel, false confidence exuding out of me.

  One bed, covered in clothes, is on my left-hand side entering the room, but he leads me to the one in front of the door on the opposite wall. We continue to kiss as we undress, not rushing through it, but slower, as if savoring the moment.

  Not that I would have minded, because I want him as much, if not more, as he wants me. I remove my bra and he pauses, starting down at my chest.

  “Holy shit.” For my size two body, even I can admit my 32D tits are nice. He grabs them in his hands, fondling them while kissing me with urgency.

  We lower to the bed, naked, well, except for the socks he still has on his feet.

  We’re moving at a leisurely pace but it’s also like it’s all happening so fast. I want hours to study his body, to appreciate it and him.

  My back is on the bed and he is on top of me, supporting his weight on his forearms. My knees are bent, allowing him better access as he glides his hand down my body toward my drenched pussy.

  He slides one finger into my wet core and I moan, unable to contain myself Pulling out, he then adds a second finger when he enters me again, priming me for what’s to come. He removes his fingers and leans over me, kissing me again. Even though I’m not able to ogle his body the way I want to, I can see how well-endowed he is.

  “Are you on birth control?” he asks me, pulling my attention away from his huge, rock hard cock.

  “Yes,” I reply breathily, the one syllable being all I can muster.

  “Promise?” he pushes me, not trusting me. Why would he assume I’d lie? Probably because a lot of girls lie about it.

  “I wouldn’t lie about that.” I roll my eyes at him because of course, I don’t want to be pregnant at eighteen.

  I realize he asked about birth control because I didn’t ask him to use a condom and he didn’t reach for one either. He must trust me because he pushes his bare cock into me. I hike my legs up over his hips, allowing better access.

  “Holy shit, you’re tight,” Aiden says, more like groans, once he’s to the hilt inside me.

  “You’re welcome.” I’m sarcastic, half-laughing. He can’t help his chuckle in response as he shakes his head at me.

  He thrusts in and out of me, and if he said anything else, I wouldn’t know and I couldn’t respond.

  I lift my hips to meet his every thrust and moan every time his dick hits my g-spot. I’m loud and uninhibited.

  He buries his head into my shoulder, kissing a trail up my neck. His hand finds my hip, gripping me with roughness as my nails trail down his back. I need him closer, harder, rougher. It’s too much yet not enough.

  One second he’s pounding into me and my body is tightening. A sheen of sweat forms on my skin, but the next moment he flips us so I’m riding him. His hands find my breasts. He holds them as I bounce up and down on his length.

  I lean down to kiss him and he takes over, picking up the tempo, and fucking me from underneath. “Fuck,” I gasp and bite his shoulder. He groans and slaps my ass, sitting up so we’re chest to chest. He takes my left breast into his mouth and toys with my nipple on the other.

  My fingers entwine in his hair, tugging on the strands. My head falls and my hair tickles me as it tumbles down my back.

  In the blink of an eye, I’m on my back once more. My head is facing the door and we’ve rotated, fucking in circles around his bed. It’s never been this good. I didn’t know it could be this good.

  Being here with him is heavenly,
with him making love to me. Nothing will ever be able to top this.

  Or so I thought. Aiden licks his thumb, lowering it to my clit. I lose it. I lose all sense of self and awareness. It’s clear now that I never experienced an orgasm before, and Aiden just gave me my first one.

  I cry out a moan and my legs are stiff and shaking at his sides. My back arches off the bed and I clutch him, digging my nails in to his skin. Aiden is saying “fuck” under his breath over and over again; or maybe it was me. I can’t even tell anymore.

  His face screws up as I can tell he’s close, and he pulls out of me, spilling his load on my stomach and collapsing on the bed beside me. He chuckles and mumbles, “Holy shit.”

  He turns to me, placing his hand on my cheek and kissing me. “Was that as good for you as it was for me?” he asks, and I nod, still unable to talk.

  My cheeks feel flushed, I can’t move my legs, and I just had the most incredible sex of my life with the most perfect man.

  He gets up to grab me a t-shirt to clean up his mess. When he lies back down, he cuddles me, both of us still naked. I enjoy the sensation of his chest hair under my hand and cheek. His hand is slow, lazy, as he rubs my back, and I am in a blissful state of heaven. Nothing can get or be better than this.

  ∞ ∞ ∞

  I wake up, lying on my side and facing a white wall, confused where I am. As it all comes back to me, I smile and a sense of peace washes over me. I roll over to face Aiden and discover him still asleep.

  With a wide grin on my face, I take the opportunity to place my hand on his chest, grazing his chest hair. He looks so peaceful and sated before his eyes flutter open as he stirs.

  He sees me looking at him through my lashes, sleepy and amused, and the smile he gives me in return is sweet, with a hint of cockiness. He rolls onto his side, leans in and kisses me, and I have not a care in the world regarding morning breath, mine or his.

  “Good morning,” he says with a hint of a laugh in his voice.

  “Morning,” I reply, acting shy despite our romp in the sack last night.. We’re both looking at each other, his head supported on his left arm and mine supported on my right. Our other hands have found each other and intertwine, with his thumb rubbing the back of my hand.

  A moment ago he looked happy without a care in the world, but now he looks troubled. His brows furrow and he looks down at our tangled hands before letting out a heavy breath.

  “What is it?” I ask.

  “Well I have to get up and go golfing with my dad today, when all I want to do is spend the day with you,” he replies, but I still see the worry in his eyes.

  “Is that a bad thing?”

  “I don’t get along with my dad. It’s just…I don’t like him.”

  “I’m sorry to hear that,” I say. My dad is one of my favorite people in the world and I can’t imagine not getting along with him.

  “Yeah, but there’s something else.” He hesitates, and I brace myself, afraid the next words out of his mouth will be that he regrets last night.

  “What is it?” My voice is but a whisper. I’m nervous and unsteady.

  “Chels, you know we can’t tell anyone, right?” I can tell he’s nervous about my reaction.

  On one hand, I’m relieved he didn’t say he regrets what happened or wants it to end. On the other hand, I am upset. Is he embarrassed of me? Why doesn’t he want anyone to find out? What’s wrong with me?

  “Are you embarrassed of me?” I’m so pathetic. I can’t even look him in the eye.

  “No, babe, it has nothing to do with you. It’s work. I’m up for the assistant manager promotion and managers and associates can’t even be friends outside of work, let alone anything more. I don’t want either of us to get in trouble about this.”

  That makes sense, and he called me babe, which must be a good sign. I used to cringe when Dan tried to call me babe but when Aiden says it, it’s like I’m floating on cloud nine. It sucks, but I understand it and can get on board with it. As long as he’s not ending it, anyway. “Okay, I get it. So, we have to keep it a secret, or…?”

  He chuckles, and I feel better, “Yes, we have to keep it a secret.”

  So we have to sneak around. That could be hot. I lean in and kiss him before answering. “Okay, I can do that. Now, go get ready to golf.”

  I jump out of bed and run downstairs to grab the overnight bag I threw on the floor and never brought upstairs.

  I head into his bathroom to brush my teeth and hair. It’s clear I’m in a house that inhabits four twenty-something men. It’s filthy, and while I’m not the cleanliest person either, it’s pretty disgusting.

  Shaven beard hair is strewn all over the sink, there isn’t even toilet paper on the roll—making me search the bathroom for it. There are razors, toothbrushes and paste all over the counter, clothes on the floor, and the shower curtain is disgusting—and that’s being nice.

  I pee, brush my teeth, and opt to throw my hair in a ponytail so I don’t have to spend another minute in this bathroom. I see he cleaned the place up for me, insert eye-roll here.

  I return to his room where he’s sitting on his bed putting clean socks on.

  I hate feet, which is ironic since I work at a shoe store when I find feet repulsive. That’s why I didn’t question him leaving his socks on last night, but now curiosity fuels me.

  “Do you always leave your socks on, ya know…” My face heats and I tug on the ends of my ponytail.

  He smirks at me. “Yeah, I don’t want you to see my feet. They’re pretty messed up.” I don’t want to know what he means by that. He continues, “My foot got crushed as a kid, destroying the nails. Plus, years of soccer, you know.”

  Say no more. I turn away. I will never understand people who have foot fetishes.

  I continue to get dressed, self-consciously changing in front of him despite the night we’ve had.

  I can’t help but ogle at him in awe. He looks so good I want to jump his bones again. He’s wearing khaki shorts, but they it’s as if they were tailored to his body, causing me to stare at his perfect ass. An orange polo shirt accentuates his arms, and while I am not a fan of the particular shade, he makes it look good.

  I follow him down the stairs and put on my shoes as he does the same before he grabs golf clubs out of the closet and leads us to the front door. He leans in to kiss me, which I am greedy to accept

  He leads me out of his apartment and puts his clubs in the trunk of his car. I head to mine, but not before securing another hug from him, and a kiss on the top of my head. “See ya, Chels.”

  “Have fun golfing.” I’m dying to know when I’ll see him or talk to him next. I don’t want our perfect night to end.

  “I’ll try. I’ll talk to you soon,” he says, to which I say “okay,” and we get into our respective cars. While I’m still reeling from our night and wondering what happens next, I need to text Callie.

  Me: so... I did a thing...

  Callie: what now?

  Me: I slept with Aiden...

  Callie: you WHAT?!

  Me: I know but it just happened it's not like it was planned

  Callie: how did it happen I need all the details and don't leave anything out!

  I call her to fill her in on the previous night, from the text at ten p.m. to our departure this morning. I lift my fingers to my lips and smile thinking about the last 12 hours.

  “He invited you over at ten at night to watch a movie.” Her voice snaps me out of my memories and there’s judgment in her tone.

  “So what?” I’m getting defensive, preparing for her to reprimand me as if she’s my mother.

  “Are you dumb? That’s code for sex!” She’s incredulous.

  There are times in your life when you'll look back and realize how naïve you are. For me, this is one of those times.

  “Okay, but, I’m the one who made the first move.” How’s she going to explain that away?

  “He tickled you. That was his move. That’s every guy’s
move.”

  “I’m so stupid.” She’s right. I was blind last night to it.

  “No, you like him which makes you do stupid things. More importantly, what’re you going to do about Dan?”

  “I have to end it. This is the second time I’ve cheated on him and I can’t even blame it on being high. I wanted this; I wanted Aiden and still do.” My desperation rings loud and proud. He’s already gotten way under my skin.

  “When are you gonna do it?

  “I have to do it soon if I want a chance with Aiden.”

  8

  Sparks Fly

  I’m out shopping with Callie when I get a text from Aiden. I’m glued to my phone more than usual these days and if it were anyone else I’d think they were pathetic with how I’m awaiting the next message. I read it while my friend tries on clothes and butterflies swarm my stomach.

  He wants to go on a date to the movies or something. My heart races at the thought. An actual date! In public! And he offered to pick me up! I do a ridiculous happy dance before someone sees me looking like a fool.

  I don’t want him to think he has to spend money on me, but I’m excited at the thought, which is irrational and pathetic. How far has simple dating fallen that I’m thrilled at the mere idea of a date? Despite my giddiness, I tell him I’m fine to spend time with him at his apartment.

  I rush Callie through the rest of our shopping excursion. I’m aware of the fact I’m being a shitty friend, but I’m a teenage girl with a new boyfriend, so it’s pretty standard. Although I can’t call him my boyfriend yet considering I’m still with Dan and Aidan and I need to keep our… fornicating on the down-low.

  As soon as I get home, I place my purchases in my room and rush back out, telling my parents I’m leaving again. I’m overflowing with eagerness to where I can’t mask it. I’m sure my parents have noticed a change in my demeanor as of late.

  “I’m leaving. I’ll be home later.” It’s five thirty at night and they’re at the table eating dinner. I should stop for a minute and scarf some food down myself, but I’m too anxious to eat. I want to sneak by them before they ask any questions, but I have no such luck.