Chocolate Reality

by Steena Holmes

  “What does the message title say?” Heather asked me in a quiet voice.

  “With hopes from Rich” I answered her.

  There was silence at the other end of the phone for a couple of seconds. Those seemed like the longest seconds in my life.

  “With hope? With hope” you could hear Heather mutter on the other line.

  “I think you should go ahead and open it. If he mentions hope, that has to be a good thing.” Heather encourages me.

  “Well of course I’m going to open it. I think I need to be fortified with some chocolate first.” I told her. There’s no way that I can make it through this life changing email without some chocolate.

  “You and chocolate. Just hurry up and call me back. You can’t leave me in suspense for too long, else you know what happens.” she warned me. Boy is she right. Heather doesn’t handle suspense very well. The last time I left her hanging for something less momentous than this, she left work early to come over and demand to know what had happened. Needless to say, that although I hung up on her due to a fact of brownies left too long in the oven, I learnt my lesson on not keeping things from her.

  After finding some hidden chocolate bars in my cupboard (yes, I hide them from myself.) I get up enough nerve to sit back down at the computer and open up the message from Rich.

  Message header: With hopes from Rich.

  Message:

  Surprise Wynne. Sitting here writing to you, I find it hard

  to believe that it has actually been almost five years since I

  last saw you. I pray that this finds you well. I spoke with

  Heather recently, and she mentioned how you have made

  your dreams become a reality. Good for you Wynne. I’m so

  proud of you. Heather also made mention that you are not married.

  Hearing that brought to mind some memories and dreams that

  we both had once upon a time. I know I’m being a bit presumptuous

  but, I am hoping that you will take the plunge with me.

  I miss you Wynne. I would like to build upon the friendship that we

  once used to have. I’m hoping you would like to do the same.

  Sincerely,

  Rich.

  I have to be dreaming. This chocolate that is melting in my mouth must be part of my dream. There’s no way that my heart can be beating this fast, butterflies be swirling in my belly at this rate and this not be a dream.

  I reply before I face reality and become too much of a chicken. I give myself a quick pep talk – don’t appear too anxious or eager; play it cool.

  Dear Rich:

  What a surprise. It is so nice to hear from you. I agree, it’s hard

  to believe that so much time has gone by. I would enjoy rebuilding

  our friendship, you have also been on my heart and mind lately. You

  were always better at taking those plunges than I was.

  Do you remember when we used to email each other, only to find

  out that we were both online at the same time? We’d then head

  over to our favorite coffee shop and spend time together. Those

  were the days.

  Behave yourself and I look forward to hearing from you soon.

  We have so much to get caught up on.

  The girl with the dreams – Wynne

  There, not too gushy, but enough memories of our past to show him that I remember and am interested. I used to always personalize my ending to him. Rich once told me that he looked forward to seeing how I would end my letters or emails to him; he said he could catch a glimpse into my heart that way.

  Now, do I have the nerve and the gumption to send this? Only one tiny hit of the send button and this will be out of my hands. Am I ready for this? This will mean that the possibility of my dreams coming true is one more step out of my comfort zone.

  I press the send button and watch the screen tell me that my message has been sent. I feel exhausted. Just one little action took so much emotional energy – I definitely need another piece of chocolate now.

  Tomorrow I will start to diet.

  Chapter 11

  I had thoughts of starting the day off bright and early. I had my alarm set at a decent enough time to make some coffee and have a long shower. Perhaps try one of the muffins I took out of the freezer, spend some time with the kittens and then head to the store in a nice frame of mind.

  Just as I was pouring my coffee and heating up a muffin, the phone rings. Even before I manage to squeak out a “good morning,” I hear a demanding voice coming from the other line.

  “What happened to you last night? Why didn’t you phone me? Matt told me I had to wait until this morning to find out what happened with your email.” Heather greets me in her typical fashion – fast and furious.

  “Good morning to you too Heather. Gee, it’s so nice to talk to you this early in the morning. You definitely know how to make ones day bright and sunny” I tease her. I don’t really know if I’m ready to share the email with her just yet.

  All last night I felt like I was living in a dream world. The thought that he wants to renew our friendship, if nothing else, amazed me. I went to sleep with a smile on my face. My dreams were filled with romance, you know, the kind where you actually get to see the face of the man you are in love with.

  “Tell me about the email all ready.” Heather demanded in a rather disgusted tone of voice. I guess she’s not in the mood to play games this morning.

  I decided to tease her a bit. I know just how much she hates that.

  “Oh, you know, a little bit of this and a little bit of that. Nothing too serious, just hi, how are you, kind of thing.” I tell her with a ‘who cares’ type of voice.

  “What do you mean ‘that kind of thing’? Play nice here. After all I did let you sleep last night instead of calling you at all hours just to find out.” Heather demanded.

  Oh how I love to tease her. It has become a pastime that I quite enjoy now and again.

  “Oh All right. Tell you what. Meet me at the store and I’ll tell you all about it over fresh coffee and muffins.” I told her. Just to keep the suspense a little longer.

  “Oh you. Fine. I’ll see you soon.” I could hear the exasperation in her voice as she hung up. I do love to tease her.

  The forecast says to expect a lot of snow today so I took the time to shovel my walkway and made sure the heat was on for the kittens before I left for the store. Now if they can only behave while I’m gone … then that will be a miracle. Thankfully it wasn’t too icy out this morning, as I walked to my car arms laden with Tupperware containers full of muffins and my idea book. The engagement party for Jude and Stacey is on Friday, only a few days away. Hard to believe how quickly this has caught up with me. This week I will need to finalize what everyone is bringing, the little things I might have forgotten, and make sure I incorporate all the ideas Nancy and Stacey wanted added. Thankfully Latte Ladies will be meeting the day before the party. What would I do without those ladies; thankfully I’ll never have to find out.

  When I pulled up to the store, I noticed Heather had already made it ahead of me. I give a little chuckle as I try to grab the muffins with one hand while twisting sideways to get out of my car. Without much thought I swing both feet out of the car into the huge pile of snow right at the car door. I can literally feel the snow squishing up into my pants. Just great. Why didn’t I wear my boots today? Now my feet are all soaked, and my hands are too full to do anything about the snow up my pants.

  Heather is at the door of the shop waiting for me to come in. The little chicken won’t come out here to help me, but she’ll take the muffins from me when I get to her. Nice friend I have. I try to shake my feet with each step that I take, hoping to dislodge some of the snow stuck up my pants. With each jiggle, I can feel the muffin containers slide, yet I’m so into the process of doing my little dance that I am unable to stop the total muffin slide that is about to occur. Just as I place my one foot down on wha
t I thought would be an ice-free sidewalk, I quickly realize that it in fact isn’t completely ice free.

  Not only do the muffins slide to the ground only to be lost in the snow, but my foot also decides to follow suit along the ice-covered sidewalk and I join my muffins in the snow. When I say that I joined the muffins in the snow, I mean that quite literally – I land right on top of the muffins. I look up hoping to find Heather there with a helping hand, and all I see is Heather bent over at the waist laughing at me. Not helping me, but laughing hysterically. One hand is covering her mouth while the other one is half stretched out towards me pointing towards the ground. I think she is laughing so hard that she can’t keep her arm out straight for me to grasp.

  “Heather. Would you stop laughing and get over here. This isn’t funny.” I called to her. I try to get up, but my foot keeps slipping, and the muffins are in the way of me getting a firm grasp on the ground to support me up.

  I glance over at my would-be rescuer, and instead of finding her coming towards me, she is still stuck in the doorway laughing.

  “HEATHER. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.” I yell while trying not to laugh. Actually, it is quite funny. I’m half covered in snow, soaking wet now, and sitting on a pile of muffins and unable to get up. Good thing these muffins are in Tupperware containers, or else they would be mush by now.

  “Oh come on now, let me help you” Heather says to me as she reaches her hand out and helps to pull me up. She finally left the sanctuary of the store to help me in my time of crisis.

  “What a true friend you are Heather. Thanks so much.” I say to her sarcastically. If she had come out sooner, I wouldn’t be this wet.

  “Well, at least I put on the coffee” she said to me. When I glance at her, she proceeds to stick out her tongue. What childish behavior. I just shake my head and plop the containers of muffins in her arms and then march off to the bathroom to clean up.

  As I heavily thump across the floor to the washroom, I can hear Heather whistling, “It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas” in the background. I turn and give her a good glare. She gives me an innocent grin and then giggles at me. I glance down at myself and see puddles of snow forming at my feet where I stand.

  “Just for that,” I say to her, “you can clean up the floor.”

  *****

  It took me longer than I thought to clean myself up and look presentable. After drying myself off as best I could with the dryer in the bathroom, and then cleaning up my mess with paper towels on the floor I walk out of the bathroom and can hear the doorbells jingle.

  “Good morning Sunshine.” I hear a booming voice greet me from the door. I instantly feel myself perk up and rush over to the man that just arrived.

  “Dad. I’ve missed you. How are you feeling?” I asked him as I gave him a big hug.

  My father is one of those blessings in my life that I continually thank God for. Last year he suffered a heart attack that no one thought he would survive from. I thought for sure that I had lost my father, and it was all I could do not to break apart. But he is more stubborn that we all thought he was and pulled through with no complications. He has since semi-retired from being retired and has developed a habit of coming into the store a few mornings a week to start his day. He claims it is to try out my coffees before I poison the unsuspecting souls that come into my store each day. I personally think it is to get away from my mom for a few moments of solitude.

  “Not too bad for being an old man, not too bad.” He says as he hugs me back.

  “Good to hear. Heather put on the coffee this morning, so I can guarantee you that it’s probably ruined already, but its fresh” I say to him as I walk with him to the coffee bar.

  “Hey.” says Heather. “I heard that. You’re just jealous because you know Jack loves my coffee more than yours. Don’t you?” she says to my dad as she gives him a little punch in the arm.

  “Now, now girls,” my dad admonishes.

  “You both know how I feel about your coffee. Why do you think I come in so often? Someone has to test it before you allow others to try it.” he teased us as he poured himself a cup of French Roast.

  “You should really try one of our flavored coffees Dad.” I suggest to him.

  “Now why go and ruin a good thing?” he answered back as he stirred sugar into his cup.

  I poured myself a coffee and followed my dad to the corner table with the comfy chairs. This is exactly what I love about my store. The coziness and comfort of feeling wrapped up in warmth while sipping my favorite flavored beverage.

  “So how are you Dad?” I asked him after a few moments of silence.

  “Well Sunshine, I’m doing All right. It’s you I’m a little concerned about.” He told me as he placed his mug down on the table.

  “Oh Dad, not you too.” I sighed.

  “Yes Sugar, me as well. I know you have had a time the past little bit, but there is something I want to talk to you about. This thing here that you gave your crazy mother permission to do was the most foolish thing you could have done.” He admonished me while picking up his coffee.

  “What thing Dad? I’m lost. If you mean making some desserts for the party tomorrow, what was wrong with that?” I asked him a bit puzzled.

  “No, not the desserts. You know your mother makes the best squares around. The only thing I ever complain about with that is she doesn’t make enough for me to have.” He pouted while taking a bite of his muffin.

  “She’s still keeping you on a tight leash, is she Dad?” I asked him with a chuckle.

  “Well she won’t listen to me that a little bit of sweets every once in a while can’t hurt somebody.” He complained.

  “No, that wasn’t what I was talking about Wynne girl. This mystery date that she has lined up for you. That foolish thing.” he told me.

  “What mystery date Dad? Why would I let Mom set up a mystery date for me?” I was even more puzzled now.

  “What do you mean? You don’t remember? The guy she has escorting you to the party Friday night Wynne. That date. Don’t tell me you don’t remember giving your stubborn mother the heads up to do that.” He cried out in exasperation.

  “Oh, the date. Honestly Dad, I had completely forgotten about that. What’s wrong with it? It’s harmless. I made mom promise not to get any notions in her head, this will only be for one night. Dad, I’m going to be so busy, that I will hardly have any time for the guy on that night. I actually feel sorry for him.” I explained to him. I really don’t see it as that big of a deal.

  “You have no idea, do you?” he asked me with a note of surprise in his voice.

  “No idea about what? Dad, what is going on?” I asked him. Now I’m starting to get a bit nervous.

  “I promised your mother that I wouldn’t ruin her surprise, and you know your mom. It’ll be the end of me if I do. But I just want to make sure that you are prepared for what she has done. This isn’t a guy that you can brush off Wynne.” Dad warned me.

  “Okay,” I say hesitantly.

  “I’m serious Wynne. Do your old dad a favor will you?” he asked me.

  “Should I be worried Dad? I just said yes to Mom to make her feel better.” I said to him.

  “Well when it comes to your Mother, you should know by now nothing is simple. I want you to promise me something. Can you do that?” Dad again asked me.

  “Okay, what do you want me to do?” I asked him. I’m really starting to freak out now.

  “Promise your old Dad that you won’t shrug this guy off. Dress up really nice Wynne, prepare yourself for an awesome date. Don’t brush him off so you can do this party. Please? Will you do that for me?” It was almost as if he was begging me.

  “Okay Dad. I promise. I’ll wear my best outfit and dazzle him with my smile. I’ll make Mom so happy that she will be floating. But I want you to promise me something Dad.” I said to him. This was going to be a give and take situation. If I have to give a lot to some guy that my mom feels is ‘right’ for me, then Dad is going
to have to give as well.

  “I knew you would try to bargain with this. All right, what do I have to promise?” he replied in a tone of resignation.

  “I want you to promise me that you will come to the party with Mom. Now, don’t you be shaking your head at me. Jude is not the bad guy here Dad, and it’s time you let up on being protective of me with this. I mean it Dad. It’s been three long years Dad, and you need to forgive him for hurting your little girl. Please?” I begged him.

  My dad is a wonderful man, very loving, generous and funny. But watch out if you hurt someone he loves. He becomes very protective and has a hard time forgetting. He has blamed everything on Jude for the past three years. I of course have never told him the truth, but I have tried to get him to let it all go.

  “Wynne, don’t get into this. You already know how I feel about Jude. The least he could have done was be man enough and stick around to help clear the mess instead of running like a ninny and make you deal with it all.” Dad said to me in his gruff voice. This as always has been a sore spot between us.

  “It wasn’t his fault” I find myself whispering.

  “Of course it was his fault honey. Stop taking the blame for him.” My dad replied with his voice rising ever so slightly.

  I dropped my head and stared at the floor.

  “No Dad. It wasn’t his fault. It was because of me the wedding was called off. I broke his heart.” Oh my, I can’t believe I’m admitting this to my father. I haven’t said anything in three years. I have just let him believe that I was the one needing protection.

  I lifted my head slightly to looked at my father. He was just sitting there in stunned silence. Neither one of us said anything for a few moments, yet it felt like eternity.

  “Are you telling me that you were the one to call off the wedding?” He asked with a hint of incredibility to his voice.

  “It was a mutual decision Dad. Jude asked me to give him something that I couldn’t give. He wanted my whole heart Dad, and I couldn’t give that to him. So instead of settling, we both sort of made the decision to not get married. You can’t fault him for taking off like he did.” I admitted to him in a catchy voice. Part of me felt relief at being able to finally admit this to my dad, but the other felt shame for letting him down.