Philip and the Case of Mistaken Identity and Philip and the Baby (9781597051095)

by Paulits, John

  “After the library let’s get into our disguises again and follow somebody else.”

  Philip nodded, thinking that after the library Emery wouldn’t be in any mood to put on his disguise and follow anybody.

  The children’s room of the library was packed with children, there for the free pizza. Philip and Emery made their slow way through the children looking for the girl.

  “There,” said Philip. “There she is.”

  Across the room the girl was motioning to them.

  Emery led the way. When they reached the spot where they’d seen the girl, she was gone.

  “Where’d she go?” said Emery.

  “Oh, there. I see her over there,” said Philip.

  All the way on the other side of the room, the girl was again motioning for the two boys.

  “How’d she get over there?” said Emery. He led the way again.

  When they had fought their way through the crowd to the spot where the girl had been, she was gone again.

  “Now where’d she go?” asked Emery.

  “Oh, I see her,” said Philip and he pointed back to the spot they’d just left.

  Emery stared at the girl and then looked at Philip. “How’d she get over there so quick? I didn’t see her pass us.”

  “Hurry up,” said Philip, “before you lose her again.”

  Emery trudged through the crowd, trying to keep his eye on the girl, but with all the children milling about and pushing, he lost sight of her. When he’d led Philip to the spot where they’d seen her, she wasn’t there.

  “Now where’d she go?” Emery groaned, an exasperated edge to his voice.

  “Oh, I see her. Over there.” Back where they’d just come from, the girl was waving to them.

  “How’d... where’d... keep your eye on her,” Emery demanded, and with very little politeness he plowed through the crowd. When he reached the other side of the room, she was gone.

  “Emery, she’s over there.” And Philip pointed back to where they came from.

  “What!” Emery turned sideways to make himself small and skipped through the crowd. Philip hurried after him. Halfway across the room he grabbed Emery.

  “Where are you going? She’s over there.” Now Philip pointed toward a side of the room where the girl had not been before.

  “What is she doing?” Emery said angrily. “Playing hide and seek.” He started toward the girl. After he’d taken two steps, Philip grabbed him.

  “Where are you going? She’s over there.” Philip spun Emery around and pointed in the exact opposite direction toward the room where the garden club was about to meet.

  “What! What is going on?”

  Philip gave sly waves in two directions.

  “She’s over there,” said Philip, spinning Emery around and pointing.

  Emery saw the girl approaching.

  “No, she’s over here,” said Philip, giving Emery another spin.

  Emery saw the same girl approaching from the opposite direction!

  Now Emery spun himself around. Two girls. Two directions. One face.

  Emery set his mouth in an angry line and turned slowly to Philip, who was laughing as quietly as he could. It was the library, after all.

  A few seconds later the four children stood in a knot.

  Philip took a breath. “They were twins, Emery. We had you so confused.”

  The girls were laughing. Philip was laughing. Emery was not laughing.

  “I suppose you think that was funny,” said Emery.

  “Don’t be a bad sport,” said Joanie, smiling. “You know we tricked you.”

  “Dope,” said Janie.

  “Which one are you?” Emery asked Joanie, giving Janie a short angry look.

  “I’m Joanie—the library twin,” she laughed. “This is my twin sister Janie—the violin twin.”

  “Very funny. Very funny,” said Emery, not certain whether he should be angry or whether he should join in the laughing. It was a pretty funny joke, he had to admit—but he quickly decided to admit it only to himself.

  “Oh, look,” said Joanie. “It’s time for the meeting and the pizza. That should make you feel better.”

  All the children in the children’s room began moving toward the chairs set up in the meeting room.

  Joanie pulled Philip aside. “Are you ready to do the other thing?”

  Philip smiled evilly and nodded his head.

  “Here,” said Joanie, handing Philip a piece of paper, “put his name and address on this form with mine and give it to the librarian.”

  Philip did as Joanie said to do. This was going to be the best joke of all.

  Ten

  “When’s the pizza?” Emery whispered to Philip, who sat next to him in the meeting room of the library. Joanie sat to Philip’s left and Janie was on the other side of Joanie.

  “Right after they give out seeds and talk a while.”

  “I don’t smell any pizza yet,” said Emery, giving a loud sniff.

  “They have to do the talking first, I told you. The pizza would get cold. Shhh. Pay attention.”

  It was the older librarian, dressed in a green skirt and a flowered blouse, who stood next to a table in the front of the room, smiling out over all the children, waiting for them to settle down and be quiet. On the table were cardboard boxes with BURPEE on the side. Philip had peeked inside the boxes on his way into the room and saw that they were filled with packets of seeds. Also on the table were a half-dozen flowering plants in round, green, plastic flowerpots.

  The librarian said, “I am Mrs. Bushrod and I want to thank you all for coming. Those of you who have been here at least five times will be given seeds to start your own gardens. Everyone will be given pizza, and we hope lots more of you will come to the garden club when we begin our next session. Keep your eye on the library bulletin board for an announcement. Now...” She motioned to another smiling librarian, a thinner, shorter, younger woman dressed in jeans and a pullover shirt that said GAP, who brought her a glass fishbowl with folded papers inside.

  “Our special winners,” Mrs. Bushrod smiled. She reached inside and pulled out a paper. “Shelley Lum.”

  A small Asian girl clapped her hands and hurried to the front. Mrs. Bushrod asked her a few questions about plants, which Shelley answered correctly.

  “Very good, Shelley. And who is your partner?” Mrs. Bushrod asked.

  “Kim Vega.”

  “Kim, come on up.”

  A girl with long brown hair joined them in the front.

  Mrs. Bushrod handed her a flowerpot that held a yellow flower.

  Philip listened to Kim describe the parts of the flower and then thought about the trick he hoped to play on him. The trick wouldn’t work, though, unless the librarian pulled Joanie’s name out of the bowl. Since there were six plants on the table, Philip guessed there were six chances for Joanie’s name to be called. What a trick it would be! Philip pushed his lips together hard to keep from smiling.

  Mrs. Bushrod pulled another paper from the fishbowl. “Karen Leander.”

  Philip felt himself getting nervous. Only four more chances. Karen called up her partner, a boy named Jason—Philip thought they looked alike so Jason must be her brother—and Jason was given another flowerpot and he started talking. Philip couldn’t pay attention. All he could think of was playing his trick on Emery.

  Mrs. Bushrod called another pair of children to the front and then another. Just two chances left.

  Then Emery poked him in the ribs. “I smell pizza.”

  Philip nodded. He looked out into the library and saw two men carrying lots of pizza boxes.

  Mrs. Bushrod called the fifth pair of children to the front. The smell of the pizza was filling the room and Philip took deep sniffs almost tasting the pizza.

  Suddenly, he heard Mrs. Bushrod say, “Joanie Henderson.”

  Joanie turned to him, made a face, and popped out of her chair. Philip listened to Joanie answer her questions correctly. Now Joani
e was going to name Emery as her partner and he would have to go to the front and talk about a plant that he didn’t know anything about. He would stand there with his mouth open like a fish and nothing would come out. The whole room would be laughing at him and... ARGH!!

  Philip felt a horrible chill sweep over him. What had he done! Stupid! Stupid! Stupid! Disaster! When Joanie had given him the paper to write down the name of her partner, he’d written Emery Wyatt and put down Emery’s address. Mrs. Bushrod was going to call the name of Emery Wyatt. Philip had forgotten that in the library he was Emery Wyatt.

  “My partner is...” Joanie looked at the paper in puzzlement. She expected to see the name Philip Felton, Emery’s friend. But she guessed that Emery had changed his mind.

  “...Emery Wyatt.” Joanie skipped to her seat and grabbed Philip by the hand and pulled him forward. Philip was too stunned and amazed at his own carelessness to resist.

  Joanie whispered to him, “I thought you were going to put your friend’s name.”

  Philip gave her a weak smile. Philip stood next to Mrs. Bushrod and watched Joanie move to a vacant chair directly in front of him. Mrs. Bushrod handed Philip the last flowerpot. It held a red flower. Then Mrs. Bushrod stepped to the other side of the table, leaving Philip alone, holding the green plastic flowerpot with the red flower.

  “Go ahead,” Mrs. Bushrod smiled.

  Philip looked out at the children. They were all staring at him. He could tell they wanted him to hurry up and finish because the smell of pizza was everywhere.

  “Go ahead what?” Philip asked, looking at her forlornly.

  “Do what the other children did. Tell us all you know about the plant you’re holding.”

  “This one?” Philip said, looking at the plant. He wondered whether dropping it would end his turn.

  “That’s the one,” Mrs. Bushrod smiled.

  “Go on, Emery,” Joanie whispered.

  “Uh,” Philip looked closely at the plant. He couldn’t remember a single thing the other five children had said when they described their plants. “This is a plant.”

  There was a snort of laughter from the second row.

  Philip gave the girl who made it a dirty look.

  “It’s in a green pot.” The girl snorted again. Philip turned to Mrs. Bushrod as if he were finished.

  “Go on,” she smiled. “You can tell us much more than that. What kind of a plant is it?”

  Philip heard Joanie whisper, “Geranium.”

  “It’s a German plant.”

  Mrs. Bushrod’s smiled disappeared. “A German plant?”

  “Ger-an-i-um,” Joanie whispered louder.

  “Uh, a German ger-an-i-um.”

  “Oh, I see,” said Mrs. Bushrod, her eyebrows scrunched closely together. “You really know your plants. Go on.”

  The girl in the second row snorted a third time. Philip saw her turn to her friend and say something and then the friend snorted, too.

  “It’s red,” said Philip.

  Three more children snorted but Philip couldn’t trace which three it was.

  He heard Joanie say,” Petals.”

  Philip knew that word. “Yes, and it has petals.”

  “So does my bike,” said the girl who had snorted first for everyone to hear. More children laughed.

  “Pe-t-als,” said Philip angrily.

  Philip heard Joanie say, “Roots.”

  “And it’s got roots. Down the bottom. For water. In here.” Philip clicked his fingers on the green flowerpot.

  He watched as the girl in the second row slouched down in her chair and rolled her eyes way up in her head.

  Philip felt himself turning red.

  Mrs. Bushrod said, “Emery, can you tell us anything more? Something you learned in the library that perhaps the other children don’t already know?”

  Yeah, Philip thought, I can tell them something they don’t already know. Don’t play stupid tricks on your friends.

  “It’s got leaves, too. They’re green.”

  A little wave of laughter swept through the seated children.

  “Plants make pollen,” Joanie whispered.

  Philip didn’t understand and looked at her.

  “Pollen. Pollen. Plants make pollen.”

  “Hollow. Hollow. Plants are hollow,” Philip said.

  “Not hollow! Pollen,” Joanie whispered desperately.

  “They have hollow pollen, too,” Philip said assuredly, thinking that Joanie should know since she’d been to every class.

  Mrs. Bushrod moved toward him.

  “Thank you, Emery,” she said. “I think we’ve heard enough. Nice try.”

  Philip handed the geranium back to her and, with his chin on the chest, went back to his seat. When he sat down, he noticed Janie looking at him. He turned to her.

  “Dope,” she said.

  Philip felt himself turning red again.

  “That concludes our meeting of the plant club,” said Mrs. Bushrod. “If you boys and girls will gently get in line, we’ll give out the pizza. Don’t push. We ordered plenty for all. Pizza here and then a glass of juice over there.”

  Philip followed Emery into line.

  Emery turned to him. “You didn’t know very much. Why’d you let her put your name down for that? That was dumb of you.”

  The girl who’d snorted got in line behind Philip. Their eyes met. She shook her head, snorted, and said, “Hollow pollen.”

  Philip turned back to Emery.

  “Stop looking at me, Emery. Turn around.”

  Emery faced front and the line moved forward.

  After they’d gotten their pizza and juice, Philip and Emery sat at an empty library table. Philip didn’t want to have to look at anybody. Joanie and her sister joined them, though.

  “See,” said Joanie. “I promised you pizza and here it is.”

  Emery said, “I enjoyed the show, too. I got a chance to learn about hollow pollen.”

  “Will you be quiet?” Philip growled through clenched teeth.

  Joanie laughed. “I tried to help you. I guess you didn’t hear me very well.”

  Philip stuffed some pizza in his mouth so he wouldn’t have to answer.

  Fortunately, the pizza and juice seemed to have put Philip out of the minds of the other children. People had stopped looking at him. All except the girl who snorted. When everyone was leaving, she walked past him, gave a final snort, and said, “Good-bye, hollow pollen.”

  Philip gave her the nastiest look he could manage.

  Philip, Emery, Joanie, and Janie paused outside the front door of the library to say good-bye.

  “Well, Janie and I leave tomorrow morning for home and then back to school,” said Joanie.

  “Thanks for the pizza,” said Emery.

  “That’s okay, Philip,” Joanie smiled. “I had fun at the park yesterday. Maybe we’ll see you the next time we come. Oh, do you know all the kids around here?” She looked at Philip.

  Philip shrugged. “Not all. A lot of them go to our school. We know them.”

  Joanie went on. “There were two weird looking kids hanging around my grandmother’s house. They were dressed funny and wore these weird hats. One of them... I don’t want to be mean, but one of them had a deformed ear. Do you know them? I don’t know why they were around my house so much.”

  “They looked like dopes,” said Janie.

  Philip and Emery refused to look at each other.

  “Deformed ear?” said Philip in a high, nervous voice. “No, nobody like that in our school is there, Emery?”

  “Nope. Nobody like that.”

  “Oh well,” said Joanie. “I just thought I’d ask.”

  The boys nodded.

  “Well, good-bye,” said Joanie.

  “Bye,” said both boys.

  Janie looked at Philip and said, “Dope.”

  And the two girls and the two boys went in separate directions.

  Eleven

  Except for a trip with his fat
her to the big mall a couple miles away, Philip stayed indoors the next day, Sunday, dreading Monday and school. None of his good friends had been at the Garden Club meeting in the library, but he did recognize a couple of faces from his school. He was certain that by the time school started, the whole school would have heard how dumb he’d been and be laughing at him.

  Monday morning he met Emery as usual in front of Emery’s house and they walked to school. Emery didn’t mention anything about the Garden Club, and for that Philip was grateful. Since Emery was being nice enough not to mention the Garden Club, Philip felt a little guilty about how hard he’d worked to play those tricks on Emery.

  But at least Emery didn’t know about the second one.

  The schoolyard was crowded when the two boys arrived. Philip watched everyone. A few times he thought he caught sight of people looking at him, talking, and then laughing. But he couldn’t be certain. Thank goodness that snorting girl didn’t go to his school, Philip told himself. If she did, he’d be known as “hollow pollen” to everyone by three o’clock.

  But the day went by with nothing extraordinary happening, and Philip walked home with Emery as always.

  “Want to go to the park?” Emery asked.

  “Sure, let me go home first. I have to change my clothes or my mother’ll yell.”

  “Okay. Come back when you’re ready. Oh, come on in a minute. I have something for you.”

  Philip followed Emery inside his house. Emery dropped his book bag and ran into the kitchen. He returned with a plastic shopping bag in his hand. He handed the bag to Philip.

  Philip looked inside. There were four large empty plastic soda bottles.

  “What’s this for?” Philip asked.

  “You can get a nickel for each one. That’s the twenty cents I owe you.”

  “I don’t want a bag of bottles. I want two dimes.”

  “Same thing.”

  “No, it’s not. I have to take these to the supermarket and redeem them. Why can’t you just give me the money?”

  “I don’t have the money. Anyway, didn’t you have to go to the library to spend the twenty cents? So it’s the same thing. You have to go to the supermarket to get the twenty cents back. You didn’t just give me twenty cents in my hand.”

  “It is not the same thing.”