Seduced by a Rockstar: A Rockstar Romance

by J. L. Ostle

  “Thank you, sweetie, thoughtful as always. How is Cara doing? She acted like I was on the brink of death last night.”

  I think about this morning, and her asking Sebastian to sleep with her. “I think it’s hitting her hard, but I’m sure she will be okay. As soon as you’re back home I think she will be back to her cheerful self.”

  “Yeah, I hope so. I am pleased she has that boyfriend of hers. I didn’t think a boy like him would be good for her but he has.”

  I look at my hands and I can feel my mother’s eyes on me. “Well, I suppose I will let you get some peace.” I give her a hug.

  “Thank you for visiting.”

  “You’re welcome.” I head to the doors.

  “I will walk you out,” I hear my mother say. I step outside and we walk in silence until we are down the hall and she grabs my hand and takes me to a waiting room. “Honey, I know something is wrong. Your face is all flushed and your eyes are red, so I know you have been crying and I am betting it’s not because of Aunt Lacey.”

  I look at her and I burst out into tears again and she quickly holds me.

  “Honey, what is it?”

  “Mum, I have been so stupid,” I cry into her chest.

  “Oh, sweetie, tell me what has happened.”

  “I was with Sebastian last night.” She pulls back looking at me. “No, not like that. He told me he wanted to be with me, and he was going to end it with Cara. He wanted me. He made me all these promises.”

  “What happened?”

  “Cara came around this morning, saying she needed him. She was in a state, Mum. She was throwing herself at him. Asking him to sleep with her.”

  “You were there?”

  I nod. “Now I wonder if I wasn’t there if he would have—to help console her. He decided to stay with her, Mum. He said he needed time, that she needs him right now. I knew he wouldn’t leave her. He would have left her no matter what, even if she was upset, if he really wanted to be with me,” I hiccup.

  “Oh, sweetie. I am so sorry. So, he just came out of the blue saying he wanted to be with you?”

  I cry harder, shaking my head. “I slept with him, Mum. I slept with him months ago, right before I ended things with Cory. It is the reason why I ended things.”

  She looks at me with wide eyes. “You slept with him?”

  I nod. “I am so stupid. I thought if I did, I wouldn’t want him anymore—that he would leave me alone—but it never happened. We became good friends and I loved being with him. We got closer. We talked about our pasts, about music. He cared for me. Then things would happen and we would end up kissing. It wasn’t intentional but it always happened.” I wipe my nose with the back of my sleeve. “I bet you think I am a complete bitch now.”

  She holds me again. “I would never think that of you. Look at the state you’re in now and if you were a bitch, as you say, you wouldn’t be like this right now. I hate that he has put you through this.”

  “It’s not all his fault.”

  “I know, but I’m your mother. I am going to always be on your side. I blame myself. If I wasn’t working all the time, if I’d been home more, maybe I could have helped. Seen what has been going on.”

  “Now, don’t blame yourself for my stupid actions.”

  “It’s my job.” We chuckle.

  “I just feel like my heart is broken, Mum. I feel like I’m dying inside. I fell in love with him. I fell in love with my cousin’s boyfriend. How fucked up is that?” I shake my head.

  “You can’t help who you fall for.” She holds my hands. “Is he why you want to head back home?”

  “He is part of it, but I won’t be able to move on if I have to see him every day. He lives above us and is dating Cara. I can’t just stand there and watch them live happily ever after. I am happy she has him. She always wanted him. I shouldn’t be the reason to take him away, not if he is not one hundred percent certain of us. I need to go back.”

  She has tears in her eyes but she nods in understanding. “Well, if you need to head back home, then I will give you anything you need.”

  I hug her. “Thank you, Mum. You know I will visit, every chance I get.”

  “I know you will.” We both stand and she walks me to the entrance when we bang into Cara and Sebastian.

  “I didn’t think you’d be here,” Cara says and I notice her hand in his.

  “I wanted to make sure Aunt Lacey was okay.”

  She nods. “Well, we better get going.” She starts walking, pulling Sebastian with her. He turns to look at me but I quickly look away. I don’t want to see him.

  “You head home. I will be back after visiting hours.” Mum hugs me and kisses my forehead and I head back, wanting to take a long bath and cry to Ella.

  “What a fucking dickhead,” Ella shouts down the phone. I see her face scrunched up.

  “He is doing what he thinks is right.” I wipe away my tears.

  “The right thing is him following his heart, being with the person he apparently is supposed to have fallen for. Yeah, I feel bad for Cara but her mother isn’t dead, so why is she acting like she is?” Ella shakes her head.

  “I think she is in shock, but it doesn’t matter. He made his choice.” I sigh.

  “The wrong choice. He fucked you over. If I was there, I swear, I would kick his ass.”

  I laugh.

  “You look like shit too. You need to put some cold tea bags over your eyes.”

  “Thanks for that.”

  She gives me a wink. “You know I tell the truth.”

  Yeah, I do. “Well, there is some good news after all this.”

  “What good news has come from this?”

  “I have decided that I am going to head back to the UK after school is finished and I get my degree.”

  She screams, and for the first time today, I actually smile. A genuine smile.

  “Fuck, yeah. You know we will look after you. I knew you would be heading back home. I saw a psychic and she said you would come back to me.”

  I laugh. “You saw a psychic?”

  “Hell, yeah. I needed to know if I needed to find a new singer and lead guitarist.”

  “You never replaced me?”

  “Like hell I did, no one can replace you. We have been practicing the songs you have sent to us and have been going over our original stuff. We didn’t want to go all rusty for the time you came back.”

  “I love you, you know that?”

  “You better. So, hurry and head home. I will make you forget all about that rockstar wannabe.”

  “You better.”

  We say our goodbyes and I lie on my bed feeling a little lighter. I just need these weeks to hurry up so I can leave this place.

  To leave Sebastian for once and for all.

  Finals are here and lucky for me, I don’t need to be on campus unless I am taking an exam. I haven’t seen Cara, but I do get the odd text from Sebastian asking if I’m all right. I never reply, though. He has no right to ask me and he needs to stop messaging me.

  I haven’t been out in a couple of weeks and Cory and Sean are dragging me out to Noize. I need a good night out, and I really want to get drunk. I think I deserve it. No other girl would put up with this shit, but like an idiot, I fell for him.

  He is an asshole.

  A dick.

  But he was nice to me. He listened.

  It’s just when he thought someone had a shot with me that he would go all caveman, but he said it was because he wanted me.

  That I’m in his head.

  In his heart.

  If I was, he would be with me right now.

  As I have been hiding away, I studied, talked to Ella, or I hung out with Cory, his girlfriend Natalie, and Sean. I thought Natalie would hate that I was around so much, but she is lovely. She welcomed me with open arms and I even told her that she was great for Cory.

  Since the conversation with my mum, I do feel lighter. I feel like I have grieved for what I could have had and I now fe
el like I can start to move on. I don’t want another guy in my life right now, but I feel like I can start to be happy again.

  We arrive at Noize. Sean and I head to the bar to get a round of drinks in as Cory and Natalie grab a table. I order shots for everyone as well, as I need a little pick-me-up. I head back and Sean makes a toast about school ending and I feel a little sad that I will be leaving them.

  “What’s with the long face?” Sean puts his arm around my shoulder. “You wanting to jump me, but trying to control yourself?” he jokes and I laugh.

  “You wish,” I chuckle. “I have some news, though.”

  “Okay, spill it, girl.”

  I take in a deep breath. “I am moving back home, back to England.” I notice nobody says anything.

  “You are leaving?” Cory asks.

  I nod. “Yeah. I have loved being here, but my home is back in the UK.”

  “Well, that has put a damper on tonight.” Sean takes a long sip of his drink. “When did you decide that?”

  “Couple of weeks ago.”

  Sean shakes his head. “Does Ella know?”

  “Yeah, she knows,” I say quietly.

  “I swear I’m going to talk to that girl. She has a big mouth and yet kept this quiet.”

  “Don’t blame her. I wanted to tell you myself. Now that we only have a few exams left, I thought now was the best time, as we are all together.”

  “Shit,” Sean swears.

  “Well, if that’s what you want, but remember you always have a home here too.” Cory gives me a small smile.

  “Thank you, I appreciate that.”

  “Fuck this, you really grew on me and now you’re leaving. I may just kidnap you and lock you away,” Sean says, crossing his arms like a five-year-old.

  “I know you like your kinky stuff, but this is no time for that.” I wink at him and he laughs.

  “See? Who is going to get me like you do?”

  I give him a hug, trying to hold back the tears. “I’m sure you will manage. I’m not going yet, so why don’t we have fun and dance the night away?”

  “Here, here,” Natalie says and I clink my beer bottle with hers.

  A couple of hours have gone by and we have done shots, danced, and even played games. I am having a blast when Sean pokes my shoulder. I turn to him and he is pointing across the room where I see Cara, Sebastian, Anna, and Calvin. It’s like the fates know. It’s like they want to see me in pain.

  “Fuck, you going to be okay, Iris?” Cory asks me.

  I look at my drink and nod.

  “What is going on?” Sean asks.

  “Nothing,” Cory says.

  “It’s obviously something. Why wouldn’t Iris be okay?”

  I stand. “I need to use the bathroom. Will be right back.”

  “Natalie, would you like to go with her? Girls like to go in pairs and all that.” Cory stands and walks to me. “Sebastian is watching you, and if I know him, I know he will try to talk to you if you are alone,” he whispers to me.

  “Thank you.”

  He smiles at me and gives Natalie a quick kiss as we head to the restrooms.

  “Sorry that I’m making you come with me,” I tell Natalie and she waves me off.

  “Don’t be silly. I know Cory wouldn’t have asked me to go with you unless it was important.”

  I do my business and wash my hands and she is sitting on the counter waiting for me.

  “Thank you, though. Thank you for being so nice to me. Any other girl would hate my guts.” I chuckle and so does she.

  “People have pasts. I know Cory is a good guy. Maybe if you hadn’t gone out with him, he would still be into those threesomes with his brother. I like Sean, don’t get me wrong, but I’m not that type of girl.”

  I laugh. “Yeah, that’s what I said. Well, you are very good together.”

  She smiles at me. “Thank you.”

  We smile and she jumps down when the doors open and I see Cara and Anna walk in.

  “Oh, looky, looky,” Anna says and I give her my best evil stare. “How lovely is this? Don’t you hate that you are taking her sloppy seconds? I wouldn’t be able to be in the same room as the girl who did God knows what behind closed doors.” Anna winks at Natalie and Natalie looks at the floor, her face turning red.

  She doesn’t deserve this crap. I walk to Anna and slap her so hard across the face. Her face turns red from the impact and when she looks at me again, I punch her in the nose.

  “The fuck?” she moans in agony.

  I smile. “Oh, looky, looky. Didn’t I warn you last time? Now your face matches your heart—ugly.”

  “What the fuck, Iris? You can’t go hitting my friends.” Cara pushes me, and I push her back.

  “Your friend just insulted my friend and deserved to be punched. I wanted to hit her for so long, but I didn’t because of you. No one likes her. She is a bitch and even your own mother hates her. Even that precious boyfriend of yours admitted to me that she feels him up every chance she gets,” I shout out but I cover my mouth with my hand when I realise what I said. It was like word vomit. It all just came out.

  “What?” She looks at Anna, who is holding tissues against her bloody nose.

  “Don’t believe a thing that cow says.”

  “Ask Sebastian then. He never told you because he was afraid you would lose your friendship with her.”

  “Why would he tell you?” she asks me.

  “Because I listen. I don’t go around caring what she thinks of me.” I point to the bitch on the floor. “If you paid more attention, you would see that.”

  “Oh, really? If I paid more attention, huh?” she says with venom in her voice.

  “Yes, maybe if you were paying more attention to your relationship than to this bitch, your relationship wouldn’t be falling apart. Everyone can see it. You want him as your arm candy. That’s all it is. You don’t really care for him, you just like that you got the rocker boy.” I can’t stop talking. I shouldn’t be saying any of this, but I feel angry that she has him. I feel angry that she is prettier than me. I hate that her life is better than mine. I realise it’s because I’m jealous. I am fully jealous of her. I don’t expect it when she slaps me hard across the face.

  “You don’t know anything about my relationship. He is mine, Iris. Mine,” she seethes at me.

  “Yeah, I know he is.”

  She walks close to me and I see tears in her eyes and guilt starts to seep into me from all the harsh things I’ve just said.

  “Then act like it then. He wants to be with me. He is happy with me.”

  “Then why are you trying to defend yourself? If you are as happy as you say you are, you don’t need to keep reminding me.”

  “Fuck you, Iris,” is all she says before walking out with a groveling Anna trailing behind her.

  “What was all that about?” Natalie walks in front of me, looking at my cheek where Cara slapped it. “Thank you for hitting that Anna girl. She really is a dick, isn’t she?”

  “You have no idea. I think Cara didn’t like hearing some hard truths.”

  “Well, I always say, it’s best if the truth comes out as you feel freer.”

  “Yeah, but when you tell the truth, it hurts people. I’d rather be full of regret and remorse than feel freer.”

  “But don’t you want to be happy?”

  “Yeah, but I won’t be happy if I hurt the ones close to me.” I look at her and I see sadness in her eyes. “Come on, let’s go get some shots.” I link my arm through hers and start to walk back to the table.

  “What the fuck went on as it looks like world war three over there.” Sean points to Cara and Sebastian arguing and Anna pleading.

  “Let’s just say our trip to the bathroom wasn’t uneventful,” Natalie jokes.

  “Fuck, wish I went now,” Sean says and Natalie and I both laugh.

  We are all looking over when Sebastian glares at me and storms over with Cara at his heel.

  “Why the fuck
would you talk about me, about me and Cara’s relationship like that?”

  I stand up and push him away from me. “Because little Miss Perfect needs to realise that she can’t have you for the sake of having you. She cares more about her fucking image. Yeah, I shouldn’t have said what you confided in me, but if she’d rather be with her so called friends than with you, then the relationship is doomed to start with.”

  “You have no right to judge.”

  I feel my blood boiling. “Really? I don’t?” I spit out. “I hope you both live happily ever after and I’m glad I won’t be around to see it.” I start walking to the bar.

  “What the fuck does that mean?” I hear him ask from behind me.

  “I think you and Cara should back off now,” I hear Cory say.

  “Like hell, I am. She talks to my girlfriend like shit and comes out with that and I need to be okay with that?”

  “Your girlfriend? The only one treating her like shit is you, mate.” I turn around and I see Sebastian push him.

  “Don’t go there, man,” he growls.

  “Why not? You did.” I know he is talking about us sleeping together.

  “Both of you, stop it.” I jump in between them. “Cara and Sebastian, just go. Go back to your table and we will just ignore each other for the rest of the night.”

  “I want to know what you meant by your not witnessing our happy ending speech.”

  I walk up to him and look him in the eyes. “I am leaving. I am moving back to the UK.”

  I see his anger dissolve and regret and sadness enter. “You’re leaving?” he says with a soft voice.

  “Yeah, I am. Once finals and graduation are over, I’m gone.” He searches my eyes.

  “Did you know about this?” he asks Cara and she just shrugs, watching us both. “You knew and never said anything?”

  “Why would I? I didn’t think it mattered.”

  “You know she is my friend.”

  I look down, shaking my head.

  “Friend? She is your friend?”

  “Yes, and you know that.”

  I see anger in her eyes before it simmers back down. “Fine, she is leaving. Now you know. But she was still a bitch towards me, or don’t you care, anymore?”