Lost in Flight

by Neeny Boucher

  “You’re not serious?” Bonnie whispered.

  Christina screwed her face up. “I am.”

  Thinking about the absurdity of the situation, her mind went to places she didn’t want it to. She was never going to be rid of him, or whomever he connected to in the future. When pictures of the holidays with her family and Riley and his future family formed in her mind, she exploded.

  She snarled, startling Bonnie. “I look forward to spending Thanksgiving and Christmas with them and Riley. Oh and I can’t wait until he has a wife and kids to stick in my face too. That’s going to be just - just awesome.”

  Bonnie said quietly, “Would that bother you?”

  “Of course it would bother me,” snapped Christina. “It’s okay when I can’t see him. Out of sight, out of mind, but I don’t want that in my face. I don’t want him or him in combination with other people and what if he married Stephany Gilmore? I think I really would kill him.”

  It was too much for Bonnie and she laughed. Every time Bonnie thought she’d stopped, she’d think about it and laugh again. “He’s not going to do that,” Bonnie giggled. “You know that right? Stephany Gilmore? Seriously? Come on.”

  Christina shook her head. “I couldn’t stand that Bonnie. Ugh - having to compete with Riley for a place in my family is bad enough, but Stephany Gilmore as well? I would leave the country.” She didn’t share Bonnie’s security about Riley and Stephany Gilmore. There was always the possibility he’d do it out of spite if he ever knew how much it would bother her.

  Bonnie tried to channel Mandy’s optimism, but it didn’t come naturally. With a forced upbeat tone she said, “Hey, maybe you’ll find someone first and it won’t matter?”

  Christina sighed. “It’ll still matter. Besides, I wonder how my fantasy new husband would like having my ex in the picture being treated like he’s the favorite son by my family?”

  Looking at Christina, Bonnie agreed. “You’ve got a point there. I can turn this deal down you know…”

  Christina shook her head. “No way. They’re going to do this and the one positive thing for me is that it’ll be good for you.”

  Taking Christina’s hand and giving it a squeeze, Bonnie said, “I had no idea how you felt. I’ve always thought you were way too forgiving where Riley and your family were concerned. Too understanding, you know if you catch my meaning.” Smiling at Christina Bonnie nudged her arm. “You’ve always got me. You know that right? I’m on your side no matter what.”

  Christina did know that. She’d always known that. If there was ever anyone that would fight in Christina’s corner without mercy, it was Bonnie.

  She grinned at Bonnie. “We still on for being spinsters and living together in our old age right? Cats, cabbage, being smelly – the whole works?”

  Bonnie pulled a face. “No cats, but I’m in – definitely. We need rocking chairs and money for seriously hot strippers. We maybe old, but we don’t have to be celibate or sad.”

  Christina laughed and Bonnie joined her. As a backup plan, it didn’t sound too bad. She made a decision then and there. If her family went through with this: that-was-it.

  They’d made their choice and she would withdraw from their lives for good. No more Ms. Understanding. If they wanted Riley over her, they could have him.

  “Feel better?” Bonnie grinned.

  Christina shrugged her shoulders, but her eyes sparkled. “I’m still not sleeping with you.”

  “Pffft,” Bonnie snorted. “As if I’d be so desperate.”

  The two women made Seattle by late afternoon and Bonnie set Christina up in her spare room. They ordered pizza and talked until both started yawning, and then headed off to bed. Christina fell asleep dreaming of the Martins and Riley as the girls from Charmed. In her dreams her Mom was there as the ghostly mother figure. Gabby played Phoebe, Johnny, Piper, and Dad was Leo. Symbolically, Christina played Prue and Riley was Paige.

  ********************

  Riley, Seattle, The Present, Sunday 7 October 2012

  Jed was laughing so hard his shoulders were shaking and he had to wipe his eyes. He had a laugh that Riley usually found infectious, but right now, Riley wanted to punch him in the face. Glaring at Jed he snarled. “It’s not funny,” which made Jed laugh even harder.

  The two men were sitting on the couch at the townhouse sharing war stories about the Martin sisters. It had taken Riley four beers to open up and now he wished he hadn’t. It wasn’t funny; none of it was funny.

  Looking at Riley, Jed smirked. “So let me get this straight – you got chased out of town by a little slip of a girl? AHAHAHAAAA. This is priceless.”

  Riley shook his head. “Hey – you’ve never seen her in full flight. It’s like her all round bat-shit crazy, psycho-ness gives her super powers.”

  Jed fixed Riley with his warm brown eyes. “Lest we forget, mate. I helped Christina Martin drag her drug-addled brother out of a hotel room for you. Granted, she was a fearsome sight to behold - awe inspiring of almost volcanic proportions. It’s actually one of my favorite memories, even though sadly, she doesn’t remember me.”

  Holding his arms open theatrically, Jed grinned. “But I can’t blame her. I-was-in-disguise.” Riley rolled his eyes at Jed, but he just smirked. “I’ve often used Christina’s line – you know. Yes I have.” Shaking his head, Jed’s smile grew wider with admiration. “Your girl said and I quote: ‘Come at me and I will knock you the fuck out’. It was beautiful. Sheer poetry. Unless I’d seen it with my own eyes, I would never have believed that she could wrestle Johnny out of that place the way she did.”

  Riley nodded. “Yes. Christina is freakishly strong when she’s angry and agh, she’s not my girl.” Not anymore.

  It often occurred to him that Jed had missed his true calling as an actor. Instead, he’d had to make do as an ex-MMA fighter, turned top personal security guard. They’d met years ago when Riley was on what he termed his ‘road trip’, but was, in actuality, when he was on the run from Christina. She’d served him divorce papers and he refused to sign them.

  Instead he’d broken up with her and left town. He knew it would drive her crazy (or crazier) and it did. He’d underestimated her response though – something he’d never do again. It was like accidentally grabbing hold of a feral cat, maybe with rabies and without protective gear. She’d often accused him of being a slow learner, but he’d learnt his lesson on that one.

  Jed was still talking and Riley tuned back in when he heard him say, “I was fully prepared to hate her on your behalf, you know. But she’s not that bad, maybe a bit quirky, and high-strung? No. It’s the little one I’d be worried about. Christina? You know where you stand with her, but Gabby. Uh. She’s got a dark gift. Looks all sweetness and light, but she can be evil. I reckon she’d be the one that’d take a blowtorch to a man.”

  Riley made a noise in the back of his throat in disbelief. Christina would have no problem taking a blowtorch or any fire-wielding tool to him if given half the chance. Instead he said, “Maybe you should try marrying her, Jed?”

  Jed shrugged. “Hmmm. She’s not a bad prospect. Quite tidy, in a sexy librarian sort of way – a bit on the thin side for me - but not a bad set of headlights. Still her feistiness would compensate for any flaws. Does she have Irish in her? She must have Irish in her.”

  Riley sighed and met Jed’s eyes that were full of mirth. Jed had a penchant for trying to connect anyone he admired to some Irish ancestry and winding people up until they lost it. Under normal circumstances, Riley would have found the humor in it because it was just Jed, being Jed.

  Right now, it was bothering him and he was sick of it. He was done talking or thinking about Christina Martin and wanted a change of subject. Shrugging his shoulders, Riley snapped, “I don’t know. Maybe you should ask her or Gabby?”

  Then, he got up and went to bed with Jed’s laughter following him all the way into his room. He slammed the door to make his point, but he could still hear Jed’s loud guffaws. />
  Chapter Ten – Unaccompanied minor

  Christina, Shanwick, The Past, November 2000, (Twelve years ago)

  “Hey, beautiful.”

  Christina looked up in surprise to see Riley leaning against the wall, waiting for her beside her locker. She was busy stuffing books and items into her bag, and she grinned back at him. It was Friday afternoon and kids were packing up all around her, making noise, and getting ready for the weekend.

  “Hey you,” she grinned. “I’ll be with you in a second.”

  Riley shrugged. “Take your time.”

  He had a particular way of lounging that she loved, with one foot up behind him and the rest of his body pressed firmly against the wall. It gave him the perfect appearance of nonchalance and arrogance. Riley had been told on numerous occasions to remove his feet from the paintwork by teachers and he always did so at his own leisure, with a look of bored, affected reluctance.

  Riley’s long dark brown hair was tied up in a knot on his head and his green eyes were glinting at her. He had a half smile on his face that became a full grin when she made eye contact with him. Like Christina, Riley was dressed from head to toe in black. He peeled himself off the wall, falling into perfect step with her, slinging his arm around her shoulder.

  Christina automatically turned her face up to Riley’s for a kiss and he obliged by dropping a full one on her mouth in front of everybody. “RILEY,” a teacher called behind them in warning, but Riley waved his arm over his head, and they kept walking out the front doors.

  “I thought you skipped today?” Christina asked.

  “I did,” he laughed, “but I always come back for you.”

  “Where were you?”

  Riley laughed. “I was at your house with Johnny.”

  Christina smiled and shook her head. Riley and Johnny were in senior year and she wished they’d be more responsible, but she couldn’t see that happening any time soon. Johnny’s eye was on a music career and Riley was going with him. Both were waiting for the school year to end, but only Riley had a hope of graduating.

  They stood beside Riley’s old pickup truck and she looked at him with satisfaction. This guy was hers. Whenever she looked at him she thought “mine.” They’d been officially together for seven months, but they’d known each other their whole lives. It had taken her a while to believe he really did want to be with her, but here they were seven months later with no end in sight.

  ********************

  Christina, Shanwick, The Past, October 1999, (Thirteen years earlier)

  At fourteen, nearly fifteen, Christina had tried out for her brother’s high school band, “Alternate Course.” Johnny wanted her to sing lead vocals, so they could take advantage of some of the angry girl music that was popular. The band’s lead female singer, who was also Johnny’s ex-girlfriend, had left leaving an opening that Christina was hoping to fill.

  She’d remember that day in detail for the rest of her life, even when she wanted to forget. She’d had to audition with many other people interested in the job, but she had an advantage. Christina, Johnny, and her father had been practicing Hole’s “Celebrity Skin” and “Malibu” in the lead up to her audition.

  Johnny and her father wanted her to join the band, but they told her she’d have to earn her place on her own merit. Christina was confident that she was good enough, but she was Johnny’s kid sister and the rest of the band were her brother’s friends. The same people that had spent years chasing her away from the garage and calling her “Klingon” if her parents were in earshot, or “a pain in the ass” if they weren’t.

  Sometimes, Johnny and Dave would let her hang with them, but only if Riley was absent. If Riley was there, it was a no-go area. It didn’t seem to bother him telling the Martin sisters or their friends to “get lost,” even though it wasn’t his house.

  On the day of the auditions, her two best friends, Mandy and Bonnie, came over to help her dress. They’d brought every bit of make-up and clothing they could find; spending ages getting her look “just right.” She had long straight hair, which she dyed black and the girls sprayed a temporary purple color into it. The dyed hair her parents had eventually become accustomed to, but they were very strict about make-up and girls trying to appear older than they were. This, however, was a special occasion and even Mom agreed to relax the rules “just this once.”

  Her friends put heavy eyeliner on her and dark maroon lipstick. They painted her fingernails black and she teamed her makeup with a long black dress that had tiny red flowers on it. She wore a white t-shirt underneath and a denim jacket over top, and they agonized over whether it was “cool enough.” For luck, she put on her trusty black Doc Martens, the ones her parents refused to buy for her, but Johnny did.

  He got them for her Christmas present so their parents couldn’t complain, and they didn’t, but they did ground him for a week. Johnny took the punishment with a lopsided grin agreeing to take his licks only if Christina was allowed to keep the Docs. To her delight, she got to keep the Docs.

  Christina sat nervously in her bedroom with Bonnie and Mandy, spying on the singers as they made their way down the Martin driveway to the garage. The girls made derogatory comments to boost Christina’s confidence and although she joined in, she did think it was a bit mean. Most of the singers they knew from school, but some were older people that she didn’t know very well from around town. All of them were girls and they were a lot more sophisticated than Christina.

  They listened to singer after singer audition, analyzing their vocal weak points. She knew that she had a more powerful vocal range than any of the other singers, but that didn’t automatically qualify her for the job. “It’s just a stupid lame band right?” Christina asked her friends tensely, “I mean if I don’t get in it doesn’t really mean anything…?”

  Her friends agreed with her vigorously. The band was just “lame”, “stupid”, “none of it mattered”, “it was just high school”, but they all knew it did. If Christina got the job with the band, it would mean something: they wouldn’t be just stupid kids anymore. They might have some social status beyond being Johnny Martin’s weird sister and her equally weird friends. Johnny was weird, but he was a cool weird and even though they tried their hardest, “cool” was not a description readily applied to the girls.

  It seemed like forever before she was called to audition. When Johnny and Dad came to take her out to the garage, she was so nervous that she insisted Bonnie and Mandy go with her. She was formally introduced to the band members and even though she knew these guys as “the living gremlins in her garage,” she shook hands with them as if it was the first time they’d ever met.

  Riley sat watching her impassively, as he always did, as if her only real value was her connection to her brother and the garage he basically lived in. He always made her self-conscious and as if she was beneath his contempt. And he could be really rude, and mean.

  Dave Warnock, the drummer, however, was a different matter. He couldn’t take his eyes off Mandy and he looked like he had a cross between apoplexy and rabies. She swore there was drool on Dave’s mouth and it made Christina uncomfortable. She was grateful when her father broke the ice by quietly, but pointedly, coughing at Dave.

  Christina felt small standing in the garage with these guys. Riley was at least 6 feet tall, and he was long and lean, like Johnny, but seemed taller. Johnny and Dave were about the same height, 5’10, but Dave was slightly heavier built. His arms were like cannons from all the drumming and he seemed to be a contained physical powerhouse.

  It wasn’t just their size. It was also the way they judged her and made her feel like she was an intruder, but the key here was Johnny. He was the exceptional talent in the band and he was her brother. Johnny had a stage presence and charisma that was apparent early on. His gift with musical instruments, combined with his voice meant that he was the central figure and she knew that Johnny wanted her in the band.

  Christina’s nose turned up at the smel
l in the garage. It smelled of stinky boys and stale liquor, and she was pretty sure she could smell remnants of marijuana, too. The guys didn’t seem under the influence today, but it was probably just a respite until the end of the auditions.

  The double standards that applied to her and Johnny by their parents never ceased to amaze her. Johnny seemed to be able to do anything he wanted, but she was kept under strict lock and key. All her acts of rebellion came from snarky comments and modifying her appearance.

  She dreamed of having Johnny’s freedom or his courage to just do what he wanted, but she wasn’t like that. Christina was sensitive to criticism and judgment, and her parents made her feel bad if she disappointed them. There were other plans for her and she’d already ruined one. She refused to continue with her opera lessons because she hated it, even though her mother wanted her to go to college on a music scholarship.

  If she could stand up to her mother on that, then she could face up to these guys. Christina squared her shoulders and stuck her chin out. She would be damned if she was going to act weak in front of a bunch of judgmental weirdos.

  Riley looked her up and down in challenge, as if he was unimpressed with what was before him. It made the hairs on the back of her neck stand up and she glared back. He asked her in a low growl. “What can you sing?”

  Christina gave him a level look and stared him straight in the eye, responding honestly, “I can sing anything. What do you want me to sing?” Something sparked between them and it gave her a shock. It felt like he could see inside her, right down to her soul, and all the secrets she kept there.

  Riley was dressed from head to toe in black, as if it was his uniform. He had his hair in a ponytail and he was slouching on the couch. She saw his eyes open wide and then narrow. He straightened his long body and sat forward in interest.