Double Take

by Melody Carlson

  Feeling worried that Madison might need to reach her, Anna set one purse phone by the bed and kept the Blackberry with her. The more she thought about it, the more certain Anna became that Madison would want to switch back. It was insanity to think that a pampered city girl like Madison could cope with the demands of caring for four young children, cooking, cleaning . . . and helping an ailing and pregnant Aunt Rachel too. Anna knew she needed to be ready to switch back if necessary. Perhaps even tomorrow. She was tempted to call her uncle’s phone but knew that was risky. Better to wait for Madison to call her.

  Anna was ready to go back. Nothing about being in New York City had gone how she’d hoped. She hadn’t seen any of the things Jacob used to talk about—the Empire State Building or the Statue of Liberty. If she had seen them, she hadn’t even realized it. With Garret sticking to her like jam on bread, she couldn’t reveal her interest in such things. Not when Madison had probably seen them many times over. Garret already thought she was acting strangely. Acting like a tourist would make him even more suspicious.

  This harebrained exchange had been disappointing on many levels. She had expected to experience a sense of freedom here. Yet it was impossible to feel that carefree abandon she had imagined. She was so consumed with acting and talking like Madison that she felt worn out. This was not fun—nothing like the books she used to read, where she would imagine she was a character in the midst of an exciting story, and where everything turned out just fine in the end. Anna had a strong feeling that her week in New York City would not end happily. If today were any indication, her chances of finding Jacob were minimal at best.

  Besides all that, Anna was fed up with Madison’s clingy boyfriend. Garret acted like he was trying to help, but he was far too pushy and his motives were disturbing. Of course, Madison had warned her about that. Anna understood now. After he’d finally grown weary of their “manhunt” this afternoon, she took the opportunity to inform him that she needed some time to herself. She said it had to do with some of the changes that she’d been making.

  “I need to slow down,” she said, “to think about my life.”

  He seemed a bit skeptical and perhaps bewildered, but thankfully, he didn’t argue with her. She wondered if Jacob would be as understanding. She remembered times that, when he had gotten something into his head, Jacob could be stubborn as an old goat. Unless being out here in the English world had softened him—and she doubted that—he would probably never fit back into their community again. In fact, the more time Anna spent in this crazy, busy world, the more she wondered if she would ever fit here. Maybe she and Jacob were not meant to be together.

  But maybe they were.

  That was how her thoughts went all afternoon and into the evening. Round and round like a puppy trying to catch its tail.

  By seven o’clock, Anna was hungry. She realized she had not seen or heard much from Nadya today. Thinking perhaps the housekeeper had the day off, Anna decided to fix herself some dinner. She was just taking things out of the giant-sized icebox when Nadya appeared. “What are you doing?” she demanded.

  “I am fixing dinner.” Anna held up what appeared to be cheese.

  “No.” Nadya took the cheese from her, set it on the countertop, and placed her hands on her hips.

  Anna blinked.

  Nadya shook her finger at Anna. “What is wrong with you?”

  Anna sighed. Tired of this game, she felt ready to confess everything. Except that she didn’t trust Nadya. What if the housekeeper thought the worst of her? What if she called the authorities? Or confiscated Madison’s purse, money, phones, and credit cards and threw Anna out on the street?

  Already Anna knew enough about this big city to realize it was a very scary place. She had seen some strange people today—Garret had used words like “druggies” or “lowlifes” or “homeless.” While she didn’t understand those things, a part of her felt sympathy for what seemed like lost souls, though another part of her was truly frightened. She had no idea what she would do if she were forced to fend for herself in a place like this. How would she get home? No, she decided, confessing to Nadya was a risk she could not afford to take.

  “You are taking my job,” Nadya continued.

  “Taking your job?”

  “You clean like there is no Nadya in the house. Now you want to cook?” She scowled at Anna.

  “I am hungry.”

  “I am cook!” Nadya threw her hands in the air.

  “You were gone—”

  “What is wrong with you? Why you act this way?” Nadya leaned forward, peering curiously at Anna as if she could see right through her. Maybe she could.

  Imagining herself out on the streets, Anna felt her knees growing weak. She had to pass herself off as Madison. But how? She thought hard, trying to recall a character in a book she’d read recently—a spoiled rich girl. How had she acted?

  “Excuse me,” Anna said in what she hoped was a haughty tone.

  Nadya’s eyebrows arched. “Yes?”

  “You are a servant here, right?”

  Nadya nodded.

  “Yet you question me?”

  Nadya looked uneasy.

  “I am hungry.” Anna looked her straight in the eyes. “If you are not here to fix me food, I will fix it myself.”

  “No, no, Miss Madison. I will fix you dinner.”

  “Good.” Anna held her chin up. “Excuse me for cleaning up after myself for a change. I will be sure not to do it again!”

  “Thank you, Miss Madison.”

  Although Anna felt guilty for treating Nadya like that, Nadya seemed pleased. Anna decided it might be wise to continue this little act. Turning on her heel, she marched out of the kitchen, went into the living room, and flopped down on the white leather couch. She put her feet on the blue velvet footstool, then reached for a sleek-looking magazine called Vogue. Imagining herself to be the spoiled character in a book, she lounged there in decadent comfort, flipping through the shiny pages of this bizarre magazine, blinking in surprise at the outlandish outfits these women were wearing, and trying not to feel foolish.

  She turned another page and gasped at a woman practically naked. The next one looked like she’d been starved for months. Did English women really look like that? She’d seen some odd things in the city today, and some odd things on the television, but nothing quite as odd as this next woman with black hair that resembled a hedgehog and eyes that were so painted they looked frightening. The weirdest thing was the gown she had on. It appeared to be made of egg noodles and gold chains. Very strange indeed.

  After a while, Nadya appeared. “You like your dinner in here?”

  Anna shrugged, still playing the role of a spoiled princess. “Sure. Why not.”

  Before long, Nadya placed an attractive-looking tray of food on the glass table near the couch. “Anything else, Miss Madison?”

  Anna tilted her nose in the air. “No. I think this is okay.”

  “Thank you.” Nadya disappeared into the kitchen.

  Anna thought perhaps this new attitude was working. Although the food wasn’t nearly as tasty as it was pretty, and although it was nothing like what Anna normally ate at home, she ate every bite. When she finished, she resisted the urge to clean things up and return the tray to the kitchen. Instead she left it right there in the middle of the fancy room. She cringed to think what her mother would say if Anna did something like this at home. The English were such peculiar people!

  Tonight Anna wanted to try out the luxurious bathtub, perhaps even use some of the fancy soaps and things. She didn’t care that it was wasteful, she intended to fill the whole tub with hot, sudsy water and just sit in it for as long as she liked. Then she would pull the plug, or whatever it was, and let all that delightful water just go down the drain.

  She tried not to think of her little sister Katie, and how she would appreciate having such fine secondhand water to use. At Anna’s house, on bath nights, one tub of water was sufficient for the whole family. Of
course, the water eventually turned gray and had to be warmed up, but the boys always went last anyway.

  As Anna was trying to figure out how the drain stopper worked, she heard a ringing sound in the bedroom. Anna hurried to where the Blackberry was chiming and pushed the Talk button. Hopefully it was Madison. Unfortunately, it was Garret again. Did that boy never give up?

  After a quick greeting, he asked her to go out with him “to go see a show.”

  “No thank you,” she told him. “I plan to go to bed early tonight.”

  “What is wrong with you?” he demanded.

  “I am tired.” She sat in the chair by the window but didn’t look out because it still made her dizzy.

  “I’m tired too,” he snapped back at her. “Tired of a girlfriend who acts more like an old woman than a seventeen-year-old.”

  Anna sat up straight. “An old woman?”

  He laughed in a mean way. “Yeah—an old woman. In fact, I was beginning to wonder if that Anna chick you met might’ve actually been an Amish witch.”

  “What?”

  “Maybe some Amish witch put a spell on you, changing you into one of them.”

  Anna felt anger bubbling inside of her. “One of them?”

  “You know what I mean, Madison. One of those long-faced girls in their plain, homely dresses. Don’t you think they all look and act like old women?”

  “No, I do not.”

  “See, that proves my point.”

  “What point?”

  “That Anna must’ve been an Amish witch and that she put a spell on you.” He chuckled. “Hey, maybe I should pitch that premise to my uncle in Hollywood.”

  She wanted to defend herself as well as her community but realized that would only add fuel to his fire. Besides, for her entire life, she had heard how most of the outside world despised them. Why should she be so surprised that Garret would say such mean-spirited things?

  “Thank you for expressing your opinion,” she said in a chilly voice. “I need to go now.”

  “Hey, sorry if I stepped on your toes, Maddie.”

  “My toes are fine.” She reached down to pull off a short boot that was actually pinching her big toe. Why did the English insist on comfort for everything except their shoes?

  “I just don’t get why you’re so obsessed with this Anna and Jacob drama. It’s like it’s taken over your life. Seriously, I wouldn’t be surprised if you were considering joining up with their cult.”

  “Cult?” Anna blinked.

  “Cult, sect, faction—whatever they call their weird way of life.”

  “Is that how you perceive them—the Amish—as weird?”

  “Isn’t that how they want us to perceive them?”

  “What do you mean?” She pulled off the other boot and leaned back.

  “I mean they choose to live in this completely different world, cut off from the rest of us. They’d be fools if they didn’t expect us to think they were weird.”

  “Maybe we think—” She paused, remembering she was supposed to be Madison. “Perhaps they think that we’re the weird ones.”

  “I’m sure they do.”

  “Did you ever stop to consider—well, maybe we could learn something from them, Garret?”

  “I suppose that’s possible. I mean, in a way, they’ve got the right idea. Living off the land and off the grid is pretty cool. Having little or no dependence on fossil fuel sources is admirable too. Talk about leaving no carbon footprint.”

  “What?”

  “You know, being totally green.” He chuckled. “Well, except for all that methane gas they’re producing.”

  “Methane gas?” All this was over her head.

  “You know, from all those cows.”

  “Oh yes, right.” His slang language was starting to hurt her head.

  “I’ll bet the Amish eat more healthfully than most Americans.”

  “I’m sure they do.” She sighed to remember her less than satisfying dinner.

  “But I don’t get the whole clothes thing. What’s up with the goofy straw hats the guys have to wear or those little white bonnets for the women? Why does everyone have to dress alike?”

  Anna thought about her answer. “My understanding is that they don’t want to draw attention to themselves because of their clothing.”

  “But isn’t that all they do? I mean you see someone dressed like that in Manhattan and you can’t help but look twice.”

  Anna remembered the strange outfits she’d seen in the Vogue magazine. Wouldn’t a noodle dress draw some stares on the streets of New York? Maybe not.

  “And what about individuality?” Garret persisted. “Why does everyone have to look and act the same? What’s up with that?”

  “I think it has to do with humility,” she said. “No one is better than anyone else. The exterior appearance is supposed to represent the interior, and equality.” Of course, even as she said this, she knew that it didn’t always work that way. She knew more than one person in her settlement who, even if they looked like everyone else, might still act superior. But that was part of being human. No one was perfect.

  “Now you’re starting to worry me again.”

  “Why?”

  “Because when you talk like that, explaining how they think, well, it works with my theory that you might be under a spell—or, worse yet, be thinking of joining up.”

  “What if I was?” she challenged him. “Would that be so terrible?”

  He didn’t respond.

  “Maybe there is something to be said for a simple life.” She looked around the fancy bedroom. “Do you ever wonder why people need so much . . . so much stuff, anyway? Wouldn’t the world be a better place if everyone slowed down and lived more simply, more frugally, more spiritually?”

  “Now it sounds like you’re doing the recruiting.”

  “I’m only trying to show another way of thinking. I thought you wanted to discuss this since you are the one who brought it up.”

  “Okay. Then explain this to me, Maddie. How is it okay to stop education after the eighth grade?”

  She didn’t answer. She was already worried that she’d said too much.

  “Maybe I stumped you with that one. See, I’ve been doing some research too. Did you know that they don’t allow their children to attend high school or college? Did Anna tell you that she hasn’t gone to school since eighth grade? Can you imagine, Maddie? Maybe the reason Jacob ran off like that was so he could finish his education. Maybe he wants the chance to go to college like you and me. What’s your response to that?”

  Anna very nearly pointed out that, despite Garret’s so-called superior education, he did not seem one wit smarter than she. Oh, maybe he could work a computer, but she could probably do that too if given the chance. Of course, she probably would not get that chance—not at home. Even so, did she really care? How did it make his life better?

  “I got you then. No smart answers for that?”

  “Think about this,” she said slowly and carefully. “How many young men do you know who can build a house all by themselves without using electricity? Do you think you could plant and harvest enough food to feed a community without using a drop of gasoline? And if you could do that, would you even know how to store it?”

  He was quiet.

  “Cat got your tongue?” she teased.

  He laughed. “See, you go and say something like that, and I have to think that something very strange is going on in that pretty head of yours.”

  If only he knew! They continued bantering a bit more, and then he went back to his original reason for calling, trying to talk her into going out with him. But her resolution only grew stronger. He might think he was better educated, more modern, more sophisticated, but she was far more stubborn.

  “I assume you’re not backing down from your relentless search for the mysterious Jacob Glick,” he said after she’d already told him good night twice.

  “No, I am not.”

  “Well, if you
need help, I’m still willing.”

  Now this surprised her. After the insults she’d just hurled at him, and he back at her, she assumed he would want to give their strained relationship a rest. A part of her hoped he would, but at the same time she knew she needed his help.

  “You sure you want to help?”

  “The truth is, I’m getting kind of curious,” he said.

  “Curious?”

  “I actually hope we can find this dude, Maddie.”

  “Why is that?”

  “I’m curious to see just what kind of a guy he really is.”

  She sighed. “So am I.” As she set down the phone, she did wonder . . . what would Jacob be like? Would he be greatly changed? Would he be happy to see her?

  12

  It wasn’t until evening that Madison discovered the real reason for Malachi’s low profile around the farm today. She’d been discreetly looking for him off and on, but to no avail. She finally decided he was avoiding her. Why wouldn’t he, after she’d stood him up last night? But just after she put the children to bed, Rachel mentioned that tomorrow would be a Malachi day.

  “A Malachi day?” Madison asked.

  “Ja. The brothers share Malachi. He works for Uncle Andrew on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. He comes here on Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday.”

  “Oh.” Madison nodded.

  Rachel gave her a sly look. “I thought you would want to know this.”

  “Denki.”

  “What else do you want to know?” Rachel said in a tempting way.

  Madison just shrugged.

  “He is nineteen. He is a hard worker. Good boy.”

  “Ja, ja.” Madison waved her hand as if she didn’t care. But Rachel laughed, almost as if she knew something.