Double Take

by Melody Carlson

  Once again, although she suspected it was futile, Madison went to bed with her dress still on. Tonight she made sure to stay awake until everyone in the house was silent and all she could hear was the sounds of crickets and what she assumed was the hooting of an owl. Fairly certain that everyone was asleep, she slipped out of bed, picked up her shoes, and tiptoed down the stairs, careful to avoid the squeaky treads. Softly closing the door behind her, she went outside, sat down on the porch steps, and put on her shoes. Knowing she was on a fool’s mission, and with only a half moon to light her way, she walked through the hay field over to the pond.

  Malachi was not there.

  Madison decided she didn’t care. Oh, perhaps she cared a little. But mostly she felt thrilled to be out here like this on her own, prowling around the farm after dark. Such independence! She looked over to the barn, remembering the phone, and decided there couldn’t be a safer time to use it. Daniel should be fast asleep by now.

  When the phone rang and rang, Madison wondered if perhaps Anna was sleeping too.

  “Hello?” a groggy voice said.

  “Anna!” Madison exclaimed. “It’s me—Madison. How’s it going?”

  “Madison!” Anna shrieked.

  “Shush,” Madison warned her. “Remember Nadya.”

  “Yes, you’re right. I’m just so glad to hear your voice. How are you?”

  Madison gave her the quick lowdown of life on the farm. “Really, it’s not too bad. I like your aunt.”

  “You like Aunt Rachel?” Anna sounded surprised.

  “Yes. She’s very sweet.”

  “Is she still lazy?”

  “The poor woman works from dawn to dusk. You call that lazy?”

  “Everyone works,” Anna told her. “It’s just that some work harder than others. Aunt Rachel’s house is . . . well, it’s not so efficient. You know?”

  Madison wasn’t sure. “Don’t forget she’s also very pregnant, Anna. That takes a lot out of her. Then there are her children. She spends a lot of time with them—”

  “You mean playing?”

  Madison felt surprisingly defensive of Rachel. “Hey, I happen to think it’s pretty cool she plays with her kids. How can you fault her for that?” She decided to change the topic. “How is the hunt for Jacob going?”

  “Not so good. It’s like finding a needle in a haystack.” Anna explained how Garret was helping her and all the places they had looked.

  “Garret is helping you? Spending time with you?” Madison was shocked. “And he doesn’t suspect anything?”

  “Oh, I keep telling him that I—I mean you—have changed a lot.”

  Madison chuckled. “That’s true.”

  “Oh, I almost forgot you had some phone calls too.” She explained how her mom had called on Sunday and her best friend had called today.

  “Did they believe you were me?” Madison twisted the phone cord nervously.

  “I did my best. Your mother asked if I had a cold and I pretended I did. I used the same excuse with Vivian. She seemed to believe me.”

  “Good.” Madison sighed. “By the way, did you get my message?”

  “Oh, that is my question. I read the little book about your Blackberry, but I do not know the code for messages.”

  “That’s right.” Madison told her the number and explained how it worked. Then she thought she heard something—what if Daniel came out here to check on one of the pregnant cows? “I better go,” she whispered.

  “Yes. You don’t want to get caught on the phone. I would be in trouble.”

  Madison hung up and waited for a long moment, listening intently for the sound of footsteps. Hearing only the sound of the cows rustling a bit, she decided it was just her imagination and slipped back out the door. Wishing that perhaps Malachi had come after all—was now sitting out there waiting for her—she hurried back to the pond. But it was exactly like before.

  She picked her way through the tall grass, then sat down on a rough-hewn bench. She looked out over the black glossy surface of the pond, watching the trail of moonlight that sliced right through the middle, listening to the music of the crickets and the frogs and the occasional hoot of the owl. As odd as it seemed, she had never done anything like this before. Even when her family went to places like the Hamptons or the Adirondacks, she had never gone out into the dark of night to experience a piece of nature all by herself. For some reason she felt thoroughly refreshed and energized by this experience. It felt as if it had been missing from her life, and now here it was right in front of her. Amazing!

  She leaned her head back and looked up at the sky, surprised to see how many stars were up there and wishing she knew more about constellations and the universe. Perhaps she should’ve paid more attention to seventh grade science.

  As she gazed up, pondering the concept that many of the stars she was watching right now had already burned out, she began to wonder about God. She’d not given God much thought, not since childhood. In fact, she’d even begun to question the existence of a higher power. But something about being out here like this—smelling the fresh air, hearing the night sounds, looking at the starry sky—made her suspect there must be a Creator. For some unexplainable reason, more than ever before, Madison wished she knew him. She felt a deep need to pray—a yearning down inside of her. But remembering how long Daniel prayed before each meal, and how long the deacon and minister at meeting had prayed on Sunday, Madison felt fairly certain she would not get it right. So she simply said, “Hello, God. Are you up there?”

  On Tuesday morning, Madison awoke to what almost seemed familiar sounds: Elizabeth calling for her mamm, the rooster crowing, and birds singing. The surprising thing was that today, her third day here, Madison felt ready to rise and shine. As incredible as it seemed, it was like she was looking forward to the challenges before her. Maybe she was just looking forward to seeing Malachi again. But as she helped get Elizabeth ready for the day, giving her a quick cleanup in the spartan bathroom, Madison longed to wash her own hair. With real shampoo and conditioner, which was not an option. After her evening walk last night, she had taken a sponge bath, but the truth was she hadn’t felt much cleaner by the time she finished. Just colder.

  There were a few things Madison was starting to appreciate about the Amish lifestyle. Simple things like fresh air, quietness, green growing things, flowers, farm animals, sunshine . . . She could actually see some positive aspects of being disconnected from electricity, phones, TV, the internet—it slowed life down in a surprisingly refreshing way. Although she didn’t think she could really live like this—not for more than a few days, anyway.

  Sweet simplicity aside, there were a lot of other things that she totally did not get about these people. Like what was wrong with a little comfort? Why did every chair, bed, and bench have to be so hard? Would it be a sin to have a pillow here and there? Some softer sheets? A hot water heater? A dishwasher?

  Still, those things were small compared to her biggest complaint. The thing she could not wrap her head around was related to personal hygiene, or rather the lack of it. It wasn’t that these people were filthy—she understood that living and working on a farm brought some dirt with it—but seriously, did Aunt Rachel have no sense of smell? There was obviously no such thing as deodorant in this house. No scented soaps or cologne or air fresheners either. Thankfully, Rachel liked opening the windows to air out the house in the morning, but still Madison longed for a little squirt of perfume to give her nose some relief.

  Madison didn’t really mind the low-maintenance hairstyle. All she had to do was comb, part, and pin up her hair. But after three days, her scalp was feeling a little creepy. Still, the thought of washing her hair with that frightening substance Rachel referred to as soap was equally creepy. She sniffed the greasy gray lump, then set it back by the sink. No way. She was not that desperate yet.

  Besides, she could hear the boys getting up now, and when a family of six (plus a guest) all shared one bathroom, there was no time
to waste. Her hair would have to wait.

  After breakfast was cooked and cleaned and the twins were off to school, which Madison now knew was a one-room building where a girl about her age taught, she asked Rachel about washing her hair.

  “What?” Rachel frowned like she hadn’t heard her correctly. “It is not Saturday, you know?”

  Madison made a face and pointed to her head. “Remember, Aunt Rachel, when I hurt my head?”

  Rachel looked up from where she was kneading dough. “Ja, ja. I remember.” She stared at Madison’s hair. “Your hair is clean, Anna.”

  Madison pointed out the window toward the field being planted. “But Malachi is here today, no?”

  Rachel threw back her head and laughed. “Oh, ja, ja. I know what you mean now. You want your hair to be very good.”

  “Ja. Very good.”

  “I have something you will like, Anna.” Rachel chuckled as she wiped the flour from her hands onto her apron. “You keep working this dough and I will get it.”

  Madison wasn’t quite sure how to knead dough, but imagining she was Rachel, she pushed up her sleeves and jumped in, rolling her fists into the soft mound. She was surprised at the silky smoothness of the dough, and it smelled good too.

  “Oh, that is enough,” Rachel said as she returned with a bottle of something. “You not want to work the dough too hard.” She handed Madison the bottle, then began shaping the dough into a ball, which she tossed back into the bowl with a dull thud. “Now we must let it rest.”

  Madison opened the bottle of yellow liquid and was surprised that it actually smelled okay. Not great. But much better than that gray lump of soap that they used for everything.

  “When I first came here,” Rachel told her as she placed a dish towel over the bowl of dough and set it back behind the stove, “I used this soap to wash my hair. A friend from home makes it. But here—” She shook her head with a sour expression. “It is not allowed.”

  “Not allowed?”

  She waved her hand under her nose as if smelling something. “You cannot smell like flowers here. It is forbidden.”

  Madison nodded. “Oh, ja.”

  Rachel pointed to the bottle. “One more way Aunt Rachel makes trouble. You keep the hair soap, Anna. Do not let anyone but Malachi smell your hair.” She pointed to the kettle on the stove. “You can use hot water. Remember to refill it dis time.”

  Madison lugged the heavy kettle and the bottle of soap up to the bathroom, where she used a water pitcher to mix warm water. Leaning over the bathtub, she did the best she could to wash and rinse her hair. What a chore! But when she was finished, she did feel a bit better. If only she had some conditioner. Although Anna’s hair was naturally blonde, Madison got help for hers every few weeks at the salon.

  She used the limp towel to blot her hair, trying not to lament over the lack of a hair dryer. But it was still dripping when she returned to the kitchen.

  “Is it good?” Rachel reached over to touch Madison’s damp hair, then frowned as if something was wrong. “Your hair is so stiff, Anna. Like straw. Has the hair soap gone bad?”

  To avoid having to concoct an explanation for her chemically lightened hair and lack of conditioner, Madison offered to take Elizabeth and Jeremiah outside to play until lunch, suggesting that Aunt Rachel might like to put her feet up for a bit. Madison hoped to wear the kids out as well as to dry her hair in the sun. Then perhaps while they were napping, she might take a walk and run into Malachi.

  She had to question why she was so interested in Malachi. It made no sense. Well, other than the fact that he was absolutely gorgeous. But seriously, what kind of future would she have with someone like him? As unique and challenging as this experience was, she wouldn’t be here after Saturday.

  13

  By Tuesday afternoon, Anna was ready to give up. She was wrong—searching for Jacob wasn’t like looking for a needle in a haystack, it was like looking for a needle in a freshly cut hay field of a hundred acres.

  Although Garret was trying to be helpful, he was also aggravating. She could understand why Madison had been put out with him. The boy did not give up.

  “Thank you for your help,” she said in front of her building. “But I’m taking a break from this.”

  “All right!” Garret nodded. “That’s what I’m talking about. You run up and get some things and we’ll be in Nantucket in time for dinner.”

  “No. That’s not the kind of break I meant.”

  He reached for her hand, making those sad puppy dog eyes at her. She wondered if that had worked on Madison. Well, it certainly was not going to work on her. Besides the fact that he was not Anna’s boyfriend, he was not her type.

  She pulled her hand from his and shook her head. “Goodbye, Garret,” she said. She stepped away and hurried to where Henry the doorman already had the door open. He gave her a somewhat sympathetic glance.

  In her rush to escape Garret, Anna ran smack into the girl from the elevator. What was her name?

  “Hey, Madison, where’s the fire?”

  “I’m sorry . . . Lucinda.” Anna forced a smile. “I was trying to get away from Garret.”

  “Glad to see you’ve come to your senses.” Lucinda turned around, walking with Anna through the lobby. “Now about Fashion Fling . . .” She smiled in a funny way. “Can I sign you up?”

  “What is it you want me to do?” Anna asked.

  “You know, the usual thing.” Lucinda held her hand up as if to point out Anna’s height, something Anna tried to forget. It wasn’t easy being one of the tallest girls in her community. Just one more reason she missed Jacob—he was taller than her.

  “The usual thing . . .” Anna echoed her as if it made sense. What was the usual thing?

  “So you’re in?” Lucinda’s dark eyes lit up.

  “When is it again?”

  “The second Saturday in April.”

  Anna knew she shouldn’t commit Madison to something without speaking to her first, but this Fashion Fling thing seemed to be for a good cause. Besides, Madison could un-commit herself later. “Sure,” Anna told Lucinda. “I’ll do it.”

  “Fantastic!” As they waited for the elevator, Lucinda pulled out a phone that was very similar to Anna’s (rather, Madison’s) and was soon talking to someone who sounded like her mother, explaining that Madison had decided to participate after all. “Hang on, Mom. I’ll find out.” Lucinda turned to Anna. “Are you busy right now?”

  Anna shrugged as they went inside the elevator. “No. Not really.”

  “Mom wants to know if you can pop in for a fitting.” Lucinda pushed the button with a 7 on it.

  Pop in for a fitting? Anna frowned as the elevator went up. What kind of slang was that?

  “It’ll only take a few minutes.” As the elevator doors opened, Lucinda gave Anna a hopeful look, as if she expected Anna to follow her out.

  “Okay.” Anna braced herself as she emerged from the elevator. A sign said Seventh Floor, and Lucinda turned to the right. Anna had no idea what she’d just gotten herself, or Madison, into. But there seemed no gracious way to get out.

  Lucinda walked down the hallway past a number of doors, finally stopping at a door with the number 756 on it. She pulled out a key and let herself in. “Mom is downtown right now, but she told me which outfit you’ll be wearing. She’s so excited that you’re going to model.”

  What was Lucinda talking about? Anna just nodded, trying to act normal as Lucinda started going through a rack of dresses. Anna glanced around the room to see more racks of clothing, almost like a store. There were also big tables with bolts of colorful cloth and baskets with all sorts of sewing notions.

  What really caught Anna’s eye was what appeared to be some modern sewing machines. Anna put her hand on a sleek-looking silver one. It had all kinds of buttons and gadgets and a large spool of red thread. The electric machine reminded Anna of a fancy car—the kind that zipped past her family on their way to town in the wagon. Anna had heard of such
sewing machines, had wished for such a sewing machine, but this was the first time she’d seen one.

  “Sorry it’s taking so long,” Lucinda called from where she was still searching through a rack.

  “It’s all right.” Anna wanted to study everything in this amazing room. It was like a seamstress’s dream come true. Except that the fabric and colors were wrong. Anna paused to admire a board with every color of thread imaginable displayed on it. All that thread—pretty as a rainbow! Anna had been responsible for most of the sewing in her household for a few years now. She loved to sew, but sometimes the treadle machine took so long, and even when her feet were moving as fast as they could, she sometimes felt impatient at the speed of the needle. Although it was much better than hand sewing. Still, to have a machine like this.

  “Here it is,” Lucinda said as she came over with a dress in her arms.

  Anna tried not to blink at the bright-colored fabric. Red, purple, pink—the colors seemed to clash into each other with an intensity that made her eyes burn. “Oh.”

  “You don’t like it?” Lucinda frowned. “This is one of Mom’s favorites.”

  “It reminds me of a flower garden.” Anna tried to sound gracious.

  Lucinda laughed, then peered curiously at her. “No offense, Madison, but you sound kind of weird.”

  “Sorry.” Anna looked away.

  “Anyway, go ahead and put it on and I’ll do the fitting.” Lucinda pointed to an area that was draped off. Anna assumed that was where she was supposed to change.

  “Did you say the Fashion Fling is in April?” Anna said as she unbuttoned her shirt.

  “Sure. Just like always. Mom’s got a lot of dresses to finish by then.”

  Like a seamstress, Anna was piecing the facts together as she pulled off the trousers that she’d opted to wear today. Lucinda’s mother must be a dressmaker, and for some reason she wanted Anna—rather, Madison—to wear one of her dresses. As she slipped into the dress, she realized that it wasn’t finished yet. That was why she needed to fit it to Anna.

  “I’m ready,” Anna said as she emerged from behind the curtain. “I think it fits me good.”