Surviving Faith (The JackholeS, #2)

by Joy Eileen

  I was astounded when Jet actually listened to her. Jessie came into the garage and sat down, giving me a pointed stare. Jessie and Amy began whispering back and forth, shooting me curious looks. Amy had ratted me out.

  During practice, Kill kept touching me, pulling me to him by the waist as we sang. I felt like a giggly teenager. Jessie kept trying to get my attention, but I did a good job avoiding her, not wanting my good mood to be crushed.

  “Alright, we're done with you, Faith,” D spit out after I sang the last song. "I don’t want you to be late for school."

  I glanced over at D, stunned by the anger in his voice. He glared at Kill, not focusing on me. Kill tightened his grip on my waist. I patted his shoulder, wanting to defuse the tension in the room. Kill tore his eyes off of D and smiled down at me. “We don’t want you to be late for school, Slick.” Kill mimicked.

  As I backed out of Kill’s hold, he pulled me to him and slammed his mouth down on mine. I melted into him, immediately forgetting everyone around us...until I heard Jet announcing he was next, bursting our bubble. A clatter echoed behind us as our lips parted.

  My face flamed red, and I hoped I could get a handle on my blushing soon. Kill wore a huge smile on his face, matching my own. The garage door slammed shut, making me jump at the sound. D’s bass was on the ground, explaining the loud sounds of departure.

  Jet and Van stared at us, each of them wearing different expressions. Jet smiled widely while Van's face seemed to be exuding sadness.

  “I’ll go talk to him,” Kill said as he started toward the garage door.

  “Maybe I should talk to him,” Van said moving out from behind his drums.

  “No, this needs to happen. Obviously, our discussion on the Fourth of July and after Faith's birthday wasn't enough,” Kill replied, giving Van a stern look.

  Jessie ran up beside me and latched onto my hand, pulling me toward the door Kill just walked through. “We need to talk.”

  I searched for help from the band. Van shrugged while Jet and Amy reenacted my kiss with Kill, rendering every one of them useless. Stuck, I let Jessie steer me to my room. It wasn't a worthless trip. I needed to get my stuff for school anyway, and I was going to use that excuse to get out of this talk as quickly as possible.

  “Speak,” she ordered after she closed the door. Her hands flew to her rail-thin hips. Her eyes were locked on me as if she could read my thoughts.

  I avoided eye contact by going to my closet to change my shirt. When I lifted it, the smell of Kill wafted up my nose, and decided I wasn't going to change after all.

  “Faith, what the heck?”

  A deep exhale flowed past my lips, and I turned to face her. “I couldn't fight it any longer,” I said, checking the clock on my phone. Ten minutes before I had to leave. I could do it. “I stayed with Jason for so long, and I was miserable. Staying away from Kill was even worse. Before you start, yes, I know we aren’t going to last.”

  Her eyebrows rose, but I continued. I needed to purge this from my system before it started to fester.

  “Yes, he's going to leave when the band gets discovered. I understand what I'm getting into. It's going to hurt like hell when it's over. I know I won't be able to deal with all the groupie whores when they go on tour, but I want these memories. I don’t want to be scared of life anymore.”

  Hot tears burned my eyes. I swept them away quickly with my arm before they could fall. Jessie wrapped her arms around me, and I let her, accepting her comfort for a minute. Guilt, raw and prickly, skittered through my cells as I allowed Jessie to console me. She had been through so much. The demons she battled daily had a stronger hold than anything I’d been through, but still I let her soothe me.

  “I'll be there for you whenever you need me. All I want is for you to be happy.”

  I dragged my body away from her, feeling like an imposter. “I'm not strong. I haven’t been through a fraction of the horror you've faced. Most of my demons reside because of what I allowed to happen to me. You had no control over the horrible things in your life. I'm weak, and I’ve accepted it. I don’t deserve the time I have with Kill, but I'm going to take it.”

  Jessie's mouth popped open in the shape of a big O. “Faith, whatever I tell you is not going to change your mind, but you need to forgive yourself for staying with Jason. Give him his share of the blame you're carrying. You don’t need to carry all of it by yourself. In fact, let it go completely. It's slowly eating at you. You're strong, and I don’t ever want to hear you call yourself weak again. We’ve both been through things that have shaped the way we live our lives. Who we let in. How we deal with things. I'm making mistakes based on my past, and you are too, but that’s okay. We're human. Hot humans, but humans nonetheless.”

  Laughter bubbled up from me, making room for the acidic burn expanding in my stomach. I slung my messenger bag over my shoulder, grasping at the bottle of Tums through the material. The simple act of holding them gave me relief. All I needed to do was get to my car so the soothing medicine could work its magic.

  “Jessie, I love you, but I have to go. I don’t want to be late.”

  Her mouth tightened as if she were holding back more words. One of her legendary lectures whizzed around inside her head ready to spill out. With visible effort, she reined it in and allowed me to walk out. “Do you want to get coffee before work on Wednesday?”

  “Yeah, that sounds good. I really have to go so I won’t be late.” I ran downstairs and straight to my car. The boys were playing in the garage, their music floating out from under the door in a perfect melody. I took this as a sign they may have worked out their differences. I refused to come between them.

  Class moved by in a blur, but annoyance tightened my lips when I noticed Trent, leaning on my car. My sunglasses were, once again, my saving grace. They covered up the thoughts exuding out of my eyes, keeping Trent in the dark. He smiled brightly as he watched me approach.

  “Hey, Trent. How are you?” I asked, weariness evident in my voice.

  He tilted his head to study me. “Are you okay?”

  “Yeah, I'm just tired. So, where's today’s note?” I grouched, wanting to get back to Kill. It had been hours since I’d seen him, and my skin felt itchy being away from him.

  “No note today.”

  My eyebrow arched over my glasses, revealing my suspicion. “I thought we were past the hiding letters from poor little Faith.” Anger heated my voice.

  “Whoa. I promise there wasn’t a letter today. I told you I wasn’t going to hide them from you anymore. What’s going on? Do you want to go get something to eat and talk about it?”

  I shook my head before he finished his sentence. My phone vibrated in my bag, and I pulled it out, grateful for the distraction.

  Hey, Slick. Where are you?

  I miss your sexy lips, and I

  still need to pay you back

  for your stunt this morning.

  A smile broke through my irritation, intensifying my need to get back to Kill. “Sorry, Trent, not today. I didn't mean to yell at you. I just have a lot going on.”

  He leaned on my car, blocking my door. “What’s going on, Faith? You can tell me.” He crossed his arms over his chest, his stance implying he wasn't going to move until I’d answered him. The show of dominance made me furious.

  “I decided to give Kill a chance.” My insides cringed. The words felt thick coming out. It wasn't my intention, but I sounded mean and petty.

  His face turned to stone, jaw clenching while his eyes narrowed. For a second, I was actually scared of him. He pushed off my car and started toward me, his steps clipped by tension. “I'm disappointed in you, Faith. I thought you were smarter than that. I'll be here for you when he fucks up and you need someone. But I'm not going to pretend like it doesn’t piss me the fuck off.”

  He stormed off before I could respond. My mouth hung open at the pure malice radiating off him.

  My phone vibrated again, bringing me out of my stupor.

>   Slick?

  I texted back:

  You started it.

  Be home in ten.

  In my car, I tried to forget about my encounter with Trent. I refused to dwell on it.

  The house was quiet when I got home.

  “Hello?” No response.

  I dug for my phone, which of course had burrowed its way to the bottom of my bag. As I headed upstairs, I wondered if Kill had texted me back, and I’d failed to hear it while driving. My phone showed no missed alerts or text messages waiting.

  When I lifted my head as I entered my room, the air whooshed out of me. Three candles burned softly on my dresser. The blinds were shut tight, blocking out the world. Music drifted through the room, softly making its presence known. A nervous giggle burst from my lips when I realized Halestorm was playing.

  “That wasn’t the reaction I was hoping for,” Kill replied from behind me.

  He molded his body to my back, his hand lifting my hair from my neck and pushing it over my shoulder. Searing kisses landed on my naked neck, causing goosebumps to break out across the surface. I pressed further into him, relishing the heat he expelled. Kill placed a kiss on the top of my head, wrapping his arms around me. My fingers laced with his, wanting us to be connected in every way.

  “Where is everyone?” I whispered, refusing to ruin the moment with my voice.

  “Out.” A smile colored his voice, but it didn't hide the desire in his tone.

  “Are you trying to be romantic?” I asked, eyeing the candles flickering on the dresser.

  “Ouch. I was. I didn’t have much time. So, this is what you get.”

  “How’s D?” I asked as he nibbled up my neck.

  “Not now, Slick.”

  “Okay." The front of my body collided with his hard chest as he spun me around. My nipples strained against my bra. I laced my fingers behind his neck just as his lips crashed down into mine.

  His kiss was possessive, full of hunger. My emotions matched his, biting and sucking on his lips, frantic to touch him. Our tongues explored each other with more intimacy than anything we’d done before.

  Kill's palms grabbed my ass, and I jumped up, wrapping my legs around his waist grinding into him, making us both groan. He walked me backwards to the bed and dropped us both on the mattress. Our lips never separated.

  My hands found their way under his shirt, gliding up his back while I ran my fingers up and down his spine. The material bunched around his shoulders, hindering my path. Desperate to feel him, I tore my lips away.

  His body moved just enough for me to yank his shirt off. As his lips tried to return to mine, I stopped him by slamming my palms into his chest and pushing him up. My fingers traced the lines of his abdomen, and the tight muscles clenched and jumped under my touch.

  His jeans hung low on his hips, revealing the V. Whoever said X marks the spot, didn't know what treasures the V held. I promised myself I would follow the muscular path with my tongue soon. Kill's body was incredible. He had the smooth muscular lines from running and working out, and my eyes feasted on his bare chest. He grabbed my hands and pulled them over my head, securing them with one hand.

  “My turn.” His eyes flared with heat.

  My system was engulfed in flames as his hand slithered under my shirt. My thighs clenched together with need. He took his hand out of my shirt, and I shivered from the removal of his heat.

  My breasts were tight against my bra, begging to be encased in his mouth instead of the cotton they were currently enclosed by. He let go of my hands and took hold of the bottom of my shirt. My back arched so he could remove it. He whipped my shirt over his shoulder, and his eyes locked on my naked skin. My first instinct was to cover up. He snatched my hands as they closed in on my midriff, halting my movement.

  “You're so fucking beautiful,” he whispered right before his mouth latched onto my nipple, sucking it through my bra.

  His hot wet mouth sent my body into spasms. A moan tore from me at the intensity of his talented tongue. It felt as though my nipples had a direct line to my core. With every pull, my thighs clenched in pleasure until I was writhing under him, needing to feel more.

  I frantically pulled on his shoulders, desperate for him to return and kiss me, but also needing him to stay exactly where he was. My chest arched further up under him to give him better access to my breasts. Sacrificing them for the pleasure he would bring me.

  He took advantage of my position and unhooked my bra releasing me. He slid my arms out of the straps, leaving a trail of heat as he removed it and tossed it behind him. His finger circled my nipples, making them pucker painfully.

  My legs tightened around him, bringing him closer to my center. He had me on the precipice, and it was my only thought. I couldn't handle the sensory overload he was causing. His hands ran over my breasts as if testing them to see how well they fit in his calloused hands. The roughness stimulated me, bringing me even closer to the edge. Our breath burst out in ragged pants as our hands explored each other. My fingers tangled in his hair, pulling him back to my mouth. His hands ran up and down my ribs, touching all the available skin.

  When he grazed my breasts, the heat between my legs spread, catching my blood on fire. My heart pumped it throughout me until Kill was the only thing flowing through me. I reached down and gripped his ass pulling him against me, making us both hiss at the contact.

  “Tell me to stop now, Slick. Because if you don’t, I won’t be able to.” His voice was pained and laced with lust.

  “I don’t want you to stop,” I replied biting his earlobe and grinding shamelessly against him.

  “Fuck,” he moaned as his hand unbuttoned my pants, lowering the zipper painfully slow.

  My hips rose, trying to urge him to go faster. He dragged my jeans and panties down my legs, trailing the fabric with kisses. Nibbling at my skin all of the way down until my clothes were heaped on the ground. He stood and gazed at me, completely naked. The desire on his face made my whole body burn.

  "What are you waiting for?" Before I let him climb back on top of me, I stopped him. “Off,” I commanded, pointing toward his jeans where his cock strained against the zipper.

  “Not yet,” he said, gripping my legs and yanking me to the edge of the bed. He leaned down and spread my legs wide.

  I wiggled uncomfortably. My lips opened to tell him it wasn't necessary, but my protest never left my mouth. All thought escaped my head when he licked the inside of my thighs close to the juncture of my need. He spread my legs wider, and I gasped when he licked my core, circling my clit with his tongue.

  “Fuck, Slick. You taste so good. I knew your nickname suited you.” He slid a finger into me, making all retorts on how cheesy he was flee my head.

  He continued laving me with his tongue as his finger pumped slowly in and out of my channel. My hips bucked, so close to the edge it was painful.

  “I've got you, baby,” he said. His breath was cool against my heated core.

  He added another finger, making a come hither motion, hitting the perfect spot as he latched onto my clit and began devouring me like a starving man, shoving me over the precipice. An orgasm like I had never experienced crashed over me. When it eased, he removed his fingers and kissed all the way back up to my lips. Flames that had just been extinguished heated with every press of his lips.

  I was shaking from my release, trying to come back down from the earth-shattering experience.

  “That was so fucking hot,” he said. His confident half smile fueled the lost energy I’d just spent. I pushed him off, straddling his thighs and fitting the seam of his jeans where I needed him. His eyes went wide, and I smiled down at him.

  “My turn,” I replied, unbuttoning his jeans and shucking them off.

  His erection sprang out, hard and sexy. "No underwear? Somebody was sure of themselves."

  "What can I say? A man can dream."

  I lay next to him and gazed at the sheer beauty of his body. I wanted to trace his taunt stomach
with my tongue, but his massive erection beckoned me. Wrapping my hand around his base, I tentatively stroked up and down his shaft.

  He groaned loudly as his hips bucked at the contact. His arms were under his head, and he was propped up watching me explore. The lust on his face made me feel more confident.

  I swiped my tongue over the engorged tip. His biceps contracted, but he kept them buried under his head. I opened my mouth and took as much of him as I could. When he touched the back of my throat, I pulled back sucking until my cheeks hollowed. When I reached the tip, I repeated the motion. His hand flew out from behind his head and tangled in my hair, using enough pressure to keep me in place.

  I slowly worked out a rhythm, taking cues from his moans. His fingers were knotted in my hair as I pumped him with my hand and mouth. He grabbed my shoulders and yanked me off of him when I swirled my tongue around the tip. My mouth made a popping noise when I released him. He flipped me over and pushed on top of me.

  “I can’t wait anymore,” he growled at me his face was fierce.

  “Then what are you waiting for? Do you have any condoms?” I asked, panicking.

  “I do. In my room. I'll go get them if you want, but I'm clean. I haven’t been with anyone, and I won’t.” His eyes held mine as he waited for my decision.

  I leaned up and bit his bottom lip. “Then, what are you waiting for?” I asked, thrusting my hips into him.

  His pupils devoured his irises as he reached down and rubbed the tip over me, getting it slick from my want. He nudged my entrance, and I lifted, letting him know I was ready. He entered me slowly, letting me become accustomed to him, our eyes never wavering from each other. A sigh escaped both of us when he was fully seated.

  For a moment, the desperate need was replaced as we connected. The heat and desire was still there, but this moment meant more than lust. I could tell by the look on his face Kill realized it too.

  He placed a feather-soft kiss on my lips, before making his way down my face and nipping my neck and collarbone. Our bodies joined together, silently committing to each other. Kill's hips slowly rocked back before coming right back as if he wasn't ready to leave me yet. He pulled back again in the same gentle motion. The build up was too much, so I slammed up into his thrust, wanting more of him. His slow movements were driving me insane.