Surviving Faith (The JackholeS, #2)

by Joy Eileen

  His tongue had easy access to my mouth because I was gaping at being thrown onto the bed. He pulled away after getting me hot and breathless. His half smile sat firmly in place, but his eyes were exuding desire.

  “What was that for?” I asked, dazed.

  “No reason. It just makes me happy I get to touch you whenever I want, and I plan on taking full advantage of it.”

  “Yeah?” My response was unintelligent, but I couldn't get anything else out from being kissed so thoroughly just moments before.

  He smirked at me. “Yeah.”

  We stayed like that for a long time, just absorbing each other and enjoying the liberty of being able to touch without fear of being caught.

  “So, is there any chance I can get out of going to The Note tonight?” I asked, figuring I would put in one last ditch effort.

  He shook his head. Our noses passed over the other’s in an Eskimo kiss. I pouted my bottom lip out to touch his briefly before he went in for his next pass. He froze in place, snaking his tongue out to trace my bottom lip and causing my body to spontaneously combust at his touch.

  “We need to get ready to go.” He braced himself on his hands, and I held him tightly to me. I sucked in his lip and let it go slowly, lightly scraping my teeth over it before I released it with a pop.

  “Never mind. I’m keeping you here all night,” he said, pushing his weight down on me so I could feel just how aroused he was. He started making his way down my neck, laving it with his tongue before moving to the next spot a little lower. I moaned loudly, unable to hold back the feelings that erupted inside of me.

  He chuckled against my neck, causing electric pulses to shoot into my core, leaving me achy and hot. I arched my back, trying to find a position to help relieve the ache that had taken over my whole body.

  “Kill...” I moaned his name, digging my fingers into his back, so close to the edge.

  “I’ve got you, Slick,” he responded before unbuttoning my jeans and sliding both them and my panties down my legs.

  He kissed his way up, alternating between each leg until he made it to my center. I was panting as I watched him slowly reach the apex of my thighs. My whole center pulsed, waiting for him to reach his destination.

  He shot me a devilish smile. His pupils were fully dilated, and the desire burning in them took my breath away. Dipping his head between my legs, he licked me long and slow. I gasped as he stroked his tongue harder, parting me until reaching my swollen nub. He inserted a finger gently sucking on my sensitive bundle of nerves. He groaned into my heated skin as he continued to work his tongue and finger in me. I pushed my hands through his hair and held on tightly as my world exploded in multicolor.

  He kissed his way up my body, pushing my shirt up as he went. My hands never left his hair unable to work themselves properly. He reached my lips and kissed me gently. I could taste myself, causing the fire he had just extinguished to burst into flames again.

  “So responsive,” he murmured.

  I removed my fingers from his hair and unbuttoned his jeans, pushing them down as far as I could reach. Kill moved to get up so he could remove them completely, but I stopped him by grasping his firm ass. He looked at me questioningly.

  “I need you now.”

  His face lit up with passion as he thrust inside of me stretching my tight walls. I wrapped my legs around him as he began to pound against my heated flesh. He twisted his hips, grinding into my already sensitive clit. Once again, I fell over the edge from his forceful thrusts. He kept going until the veins in his neck bulged, and he buried his face into my neck as he released into me.

  “Holy shit, Slick. I think you're going to kill me.”

  I giggled. I reminded myself to hold onto this feeling for as long as I could.

  “Alright, we have to get ready to go to The Note,” he said, finally moving off me.

  He kissed me on the nose, before getting up and pulling up his jeans, which had only made it down to his calves. I unabashedly watched as he buttoned them. He noticed me staring and raised an eyebrow.

  “Like what you see?” he asked, giving me that half smile.

  I got up on my knees, my shirt still pushed up. My breasts were on full display, my jeans discarded on the ground. Kill’s eyes raked over my body, causing tingles everywhere they roamed.

  “Like what you see?” I asked back, staring him in the eyes.

  “Yes, in fact, I like everything I see,” he replied.

  He came to kiss me on the lips. “Now, get ready before I have to ravish you again.”

  “I wouldn’t object,” I answered boldly.

  He groaned and pulled my shirt down covering the top half of my body. “Later.”

  The boys had already left by the time I finished getting ready, needing to get to The Note to set up. Alone in the quiet house, I allowed thoughts of Kill’s impending success bubble into my thoughts. It took me a couple times to crush the thoughts from my head. In a sour mood, I crunched on a handful of Tums as I drove to The Note.

  The boys were at their usual table. Amy was perched on Jet’s lap, trying to clean out his ear with her tongue. Van wore a scowl on his face. The fact that Jessie was nowhere to be found made me assume she’d let the guilt over her past pull them apart again.

  D was absent from the table, most likely, making sure everything was set up for the show. Kill’s eyes lit up when he saw me. I felt a giddy smile cross my face when I saw his response to me.

  Kill didn’t grab me and kiss me as I thought he would. In fact, he seemed to be keeping his distance, refusing to touch me or make eye contact any longer than necessary.

  “Hey, we're on in a couple of minutes. You want anything before we go up?” he asked, distracted.

  I tried to push down my fear as it rose to the surface. “Yeah, can you get me an amaretto sour?” I asked, thinking I might need liquid courage to get me through the night.

  “Yep, I'll be right back.” He kissed the top of my head before heading over to the bar.

  I watched him retreat, confused by his behavior. “Hey, sis. How are you doing?” Van asked, hugging me tightly.

  I melted into his body letting it envelop me in security. “I’m good,” I answered, trying to push away my negative thoughts.

  “How are you doing?” I asked, studying his face.

  He had dark circles under his eyes, and his whole demeanor seemed broken down. I hugged him again before letting him go. “I don’t know.”

  Before he could tell me more, Kill had placed my drink in front of me and was pulling Jet free of Amy’s grasp.

  “See you in a few, Slick,” Kill said, winking at me before disappearing at the back of the stage.

  I stole one of Amy's licorice sticks and slipped it into my drink, using it as a straw. We watched the boys as we screamed and yelled along with everyone in the bar.

  Kill belonged onstage. He knew how to work the crowd into a frenzy. Jet fed off his, while D and Van worked at keeping them both in line by starting song intros before they went off on a tangent. When they finished their set, and left the stage, they stopped and talked to all their fans, taking pictures and signing whatever was shoved in their faces along the way. The whole time, I couldn't help but think the worst, since Kill hadn't invited me onstage.

  “Ready to get out of here?” Kill whispered in my ear.

  I nodded exhausted from being stuck inside my own thoughts for so long.

  “Let me help the guys load up, and I'll come back to get you.” He took off again. Helplessly, I watched as he made his way back to the stage.

  Amy moved over next to me with a huge grin on her face. “So, how is it?”

  “I have no idea what you're talking about,” I replied, my voice high with embarrassment.

  “Yes, you do. You just used your squeaky voice. Come on; I want details,” she said, leaning closer to me. “Is it huge?”

  “Amy, I'm not going there with you.”

  “It’s that little, huh? That's disappoi
nting.”

  “He isn’t little,” I said, whipping my head around to stare at her.

  “Ahh... Gotcha. Come on; spill it.”

  “No,” I said firmly.

  “Fine, we're having a girls’ night out soon. Jessie and I will pull it out of you.”

  I shook my head and sighed with relief when I saw the guys coming our way.

  “Ready?” Kill asked when he reached us.

  “Yep.” I handed him my keys as I hugged the rest of the guys, telling them how proud I was of them, and that I would see them later.

  "We missed you on stage tonight," Van said when he released me from his hug.

  "She’s been trying to get out of performing tonight all day. I figured I would give her a break," Kill answered.

  "Tired her out. That's my boy," Jet said holding up his hand for a high five.

  Kill gave him a quick one and herded me out of the bar. His excuse made sense. I had been trying to get out of going to the bar tonight. It was confusing why he hadn’t just asked me to stay home if I wasn't needed onstage. I was still unsure what to think of his standoffish behavior.

  When we got in the car, Kill leaned over and gave me a lingering kiss before driving out of the parking lot.

  “Why was Amy looking at me like she wanted to eat me?” he asked when we got on the road.

  The look of horror on his face brought a bubble of laughter to my lips. “She wanted to know how you were in bed. I told her you would put Jet's moves to shame.”

  His face twisted in revulsion, and I doubled over in a fit of laughter.

  “That's not funny, Slick.” He kept looking back and forth between me and the road. We pulled into the garage, and I tried to stifle the giggles that kept erupting from my mouth as I climbed from the car. He grabbed me around the waist and threw me over his shoulder.

  “You are so going to get it.” He tumbled on top of me when we reached the bed. Before I could catch my breath, he started to tickle me relentlessly.

  “I'm going to show you some of those moves you like to brag about. I swear if she tries anything on me, you’re going to pay.”

  His lips met my neck, and my laughter stopped immediately when he hit the spot right below my ear. After we were spent, I sprawled naked across his body as he ran his fingers up and down my back.

  “You're going to have to stay in front of me anytime Amy's near so she doesn’t attack my man meat.”

  I giggled quietly, too tired to put any real effort behind it. “I'll protect you,” I responded with a yawn.

  “My hero.”

  CHAPTER 16

  Nighttime became a perfect fairytale. Sleeping tangled up with Kill, the blinds blocking out the rest of the world.

  The days weren't as ideal.

  Trent refused to talk to me, and the notes on my car were escalating in volume and violence. Without Trent to discuss them with, I suffered alone. But the worst part of my day was work. When we entered Ray’s, Kill acted just as he had before we became exclusive.

  As I exited the stage Thursday night after my karaoke performance, Jessie, Amy, Denise, and Ryan pulled me aside. They were annoyed and ready to unleash their wraith.

  "What the hell is going on?" Ryan whispered to me as they dragged me toward the breakroom. Jessie, Denise and Amy saddled up next to me so I was surrounded. "Amy told us you and Kill are item now. Why are you two keeping it a secret still?"

  A sharp pain stabbed me through the heart, because I honestly didn’t know. Bambi came waltzing in while we were discussing what I should do.

  "You don't have to stop talking. I know what you're talking about," she sneered, pulling her already low-cut shirt down further. "Kill just pities you. I don't know why you would think you were different from the other girls. He will never settle down with anyone, especially you."

  "If you don't shut up and get out of here, I'm going to cut your fucking hair off after I beat the shit out of you," Ryan said, getting up and stalking toward her. Her combat boots ate up the space between them. The angry gleam in Ryan's eyes was evident. I had a feeling her threat had more to do with Bambi’s brother leaving than it did with me. Matt had broken through her thick walls, and she didn't seem to enjoy it.

  Bambi ran out of the room before Ryan reached her.

  "Don't listen to her. She's jealous," Amy told me, getting in front of my face so I had to look at her. "Seriously, Faith, don't listen to her. I know you like to self-sabotage, so stop it, now."

  "If it’s just her, then why is he acting like they aren't together when they’re in public?" Jessie asked the question that was banging around inside my own head.

  "Do you want me to ask him what the hell his problem is?" Amy asked, cracking her tiny knuckles.

  Yes, my head screamed. "Not yet. Give me a couple of days to figure it out. If I can't get it out of him, then I'll unleash you on him."

  "Okay, but remember I don't hold my tongue very well," Amy said before bouncing out of the breakroom.

  Friday night came with droves of thirsty customers. My feet burned from running around trying to keep my tables happy. Exhaustion made my eyelids droop. After Kill fell asleep the night before, I’d stayed up wondering why he was acting so distant when we were together in public.

  The boys’ arrival came with Jet’s usual flair. When the bell stopped ringing, Jet sucked in a deep breath. "Hello, ladies. Your dream just came true."

  I let out a snort as I set their drinks down before they made it to their table.

  Thankfully, because we were so busy, the girls weren’t able to corner me to find out whether I’d confronted Kill yet. I could practically see the foam around their mouths, wanting to find out the reason why.

  When the boys made it to the stage, they took the thirsty customers with them. I watched as they drunkenly crowded the dance floor. As much as I was looking forward to the break, dread filled me as the girls descended on me. They stared at me with a glimmer in their eyes that told me I was never going to get out of their interrogation.

  Bambi made her way back from the bar, bumping my shoulder as she went. "Sorry," she said, insincerity dripping off the one word.

  “So?” they all asked in unison, making me cringe inwardly.

  “What?” I asked, trying to play stupid. I was actually impressed by the synchronized eye roll they executed.

  “Don’t play dumb with us, young lady,” Ryan said, leaning over the bar so she could unite with the others.

  The crowd screamed wildly while the boys intro'd into their first song.

  “I don’t know. I haven’t talked to him about it yet,” I said feeling deflated and thinking maybe Bambi wasn’t as stupid as we all thought she was.

  “You need to talk to him, sweetie. He's a guy after all, and they're stupid most of the time,” Denise said as she came over and hugged me, her face serious.

  “I’ll do it,” Amy declared, bending her neck from side to side, before chomping on a piece of licorice.

  “No thanks... I don’t want you to scare him off.”

  “I'm a lot stronger than I look,” she responded, punching her fist into her palm as if getting ready for a fight.

  “I know, Amy, and I promise if I ever need someone to be whacked you'll be the first to know.”

  This seemed to placate her, and she turned to suck her margarita through a licorice straw.

  “Are you sure he's serious about you?” Jessie asked.

  Her question annoyed me. She was feeding my fear, and that fucker was already obese. I was sure it was her past directing her thoughts, but she wasn't helping.

  Amy cut in before I could respond. “That boy can’t keep his eyes, let alone his hands, off her. He acts like she farts Skittles and shits chocolate.”

  “Where the hell do you come up with this stuff?” Ryan asked flicking Amy on the butt with her bar towel.

  “What? I’m a poet at heart,” Amy said, shrugging.

  “We don’t mean to push you, but we know you’ve been through some
shit. We just want you to be happy,” Ryan said, surprising me. Ryan usually avoided any type of relationship advice like it was a non-alcoholic beverage.

  “I know, and I love you guys for that. I promise I'll find out what's going on, but please, let me do it at my own pace,” I begged them.

  They all appeared to be biting their tongues. After a moment of being locked in a stare-down, they each nodded silently, agreeing to let me do things my way.

  Denise took over the conversation, telling us about the new man she was seeing. My shoulders slowly lowered as the attention moved away from me.

  Jessie kept shooting me looks when she thought I wasn't paying attention. I ignored her. I could tell she wanted to say more from the way her eyes squinted and her mouth formed a tight line.

  When the boys took their break, I rushed over to get them more beers before making my way to my other tables which were rapidly filling up.

  Soon after, the band took the stage again. I leaned on the bar, waiting for Kill to call me onstage. The first chords to Gotta Have Faith pulsed through the air. My heart beat rapidly as the bar went crazy. Most of the crowd looked expectantly toward me, ready for what they knew would happen next. I smiled at them as I made my way toward the stage.

  Kill pulled me onstage like he always did, letting go as soon as my heels were stable. My heart plummeted, wanting him to declare us as a couple in front of everyone. Even with my sour mood, my set was flawless. Kill's magnetism still had us gravitating toward each other. When he introduced the new song we’d been working on, the bar exploded with screams from the fans.

  All my worries about Kill, the letters, and everything else melted away in the wake of the positive energy pumping out from the crowd. As the applause died down, I moved to walk offstage. Before I could make it two steps, Kill snatched my hand and yanked me into his body, which was hot from performing. The heat radiating from him permeated my soul. Having no idea what he had planned, I raised my eyebrow at him. His panty-melting grin slowly appeared.

  I opened my mouth to ask him what the hell he was doing, but before any words were formed, his lips were sealed to mine. His warm mouth had a slight tang from the beer he’d finished. I kissed him back with everything I had, forgetting everything else around me.