by Angel Lawson
“I know, and Sabine has helped me with that. Making me slow down and do the training. Learn how to protect myself. That last game…things just got out of hand. That asshole striker was way over aggressive.”
“You’re a target on the field. You know that.” I sighed and laid my hands in my lap. “I’m glad you’ve had someone to stick by your side. She’s pretty and even though she was a little…uh, defensive, at the hospital, it was obvious she cares about you. From what I hear, the tabloids love her. And you. They love both of you.”
“God, I hate those guys. They’re everywhere. Like ants.” He laughed darkly. “The love of soccer is growing in the US and everyone wants a piece of it. They’re looking for the next David Beckham or Ronaldo. Someone to put on a pedestal—to be the face. Apparently, I’m the chosen one.”
I smiled. “I’m not really surprised. You do have the face of a god.”
“Shut it.” He shoved his hands in his hoodie pocket. “It’s been nice to have someone to go through it with me. I’ve never been one for the spotlight—well, at least off the field.”
That was a jab. A small one but a jab all the same. Did I deserve it? Maybe. I sucked up whatever emotions I had and said, “I’m glad you’ve had some support during all of this. I know it’s been a big change.”
He gave me a sideways look. “It can be lonely. I miss you guys.”
“I missed you all, too.” I checked the time. “We should probably go. Oliver will send out a search team if he gets back and you aren’t there.”
He inhaled, like a man dying for air and then stood, wobbling on one foot while he got his balance. We were almost at the car when I asked, “How’s the art going?”
His lips formed a thin line and he held onto the top of the car. “I’m not drawing much anymore.”
“No? Not enough time?” Hayden always had his sketch book in his bag or back pocket. Always.
His eyes darted back to the water, the mom and her kid. Just before he ducked into the car he said, “I just haven’t been inspired.”
I took the crutches from him, shaken by his statement. Hayden’s a man doing what he loves, with a beautiful woman at his side. How could he not be inspired?
25
Hayden
At some point, Oliver’s father retired and he and his wife moved south, seeking golf courses and warm weather. Oliver moved into the main house and offered Jackson a room, which left the back apartment empty and ready for my return.
The stairs were a bit of a hassle with my crutches, but I quickly worked out a system that allowed me a bit of exercise and stability so I didn’t fall and crack open my head.
The irony was that due to my injuries, the guys came to me and soon we were all hanging out in that little apartment, like it was high school all over again. There were only two things—people—missing. Anderson and Heaven.
Currently, Jackson and Oliver played their nine-millionth round of Fortnite while I laid on the couch, leg propped up and iced to reduce the swelling. I had a battered sketch book in my lap, pencil on top, unopened. I carried it with me everywhere…out of habit mostly, but Heaven’s question earlier in the day prodded me to get it out for the first time in ages. Her question, and as much as I didn’t want to admit it, her presence.
“Dude, are you fucking kidding me?” Jackson muttered as a round of explosions went off on the screen. I glanced up and saw that his man was surrounded by aliens and Oliver’s was far ahead, leaving him behind. “What the hell are you doing?”
“Playing how I want to,” he replied through gritted teeth. There was something definitely off about the move, and Oliver made no attempt to correct, leaving Jackson behind. A string of curses flew from Jax’s mouth, all directed at Oliver. I watched in silence as rage built between the two. It wasn’t until Oliver stood up and threw his controller across the room, shattering it into a pile of plastic and wires, and Jackson rushed across the room that I realized this had reached a new level.
“I knew you were a selfish asshole,” Oliver shouted as his friend raced toward him, “but this is a new low, even for you.”
“Hey!” I shouted, unable to move to my feet with any sort of speed. Oliver caught Jackson in his arms and body-slammed him on the ground.
“You would have done the same fucking thing,” Jackson replied. Oliver was bigger but Jackson faster and just as I was getting off the couch he landed a punch to the underside of Oliver’s jaw.
“Shit! Stop! What the fuck!” I yelled, taking two steps around the coffee table and then dropping to my knees. I winced at the pain in my ribs and crawled over to them. I looked and felt ridiculous, but my best friends were pummeling the crap out of one another. Someone had to stop it.
Another fist landed, this time against Jackson’s check. I managed to grab Oliver by the crook of the elbow. He looked back at me, fire and rage in his eyes, and I thought for a minute he was going to attack me, but recognition set in and he paused.
“Stop it,” I said again and thankfully they both relented. Fist fights between us were rare but not unheard of. Only one thing caused them.
Heaven.
I shifted my attention to Jackson, who was on his back, breathing heavy, his cheek red from the strike. His eyes darted between us. “I had to take a chance. I had to. Someone had to before we lose her for good.”
“Take a chance with what?” I asked slowly.
Oliver pushed off the ground and stood up, turning his back to us. “Tell him.”
A touch of fear clouded Jackson’s eyes, and he sat up on his elbows. “Heaven and I had sex last night. I thought it was about us reconnecting—turns out, she’s looking for closure.”
A dozen thoughts ran through my head, one being a strong understanding of the beatdown Oliver just gave him. I swallowed back that anger and replied, “She had sex with you for closure.”
“Yes. That’s what she told me this morning. We haven’t spoken since. I don’t know what to say to her when we do.”
I sat on the ground next to Jackson, gripping my ribs. After a moment of cooling off, Oliver did the same. We were in a circle like five-year-olds. “Do you think she wants the same from the rest of us?”
Oliver’s jaw was red from the punch. “I don’t know if I can do it if she does.” He looked at me. “You certainly can’t. Not with Sabine. That will just fuck everyone and everything up more.”
“True,” Jackson said. “What if you and Heaven did it one last time and then you married Sabine? That shit would hang over all of us forever.”
I simply nodded because they were right. I’d made my choice and I’d have to deal with it. I knew it when Bryant laid out my future and forced me away from my past. I knew it when I entered the relationship with Sabine.
“What about Anderson?” I asked. “What would he do if she asked him?”
Oliver shook his head. “I don’t want to be there if she does.”
Anderson had always made things more complicated than necessary, especially when it came to Heaven. Probably because he loved her so much. “Should we tell him?” I asked, looking at Jackson. “Are you going to tell him what happened?”
Both Jackson and Oliver averted their eyes. Nope. No one wanted to be the one to tell him. He and Heaven would have to figure this out on their own.
As for the rest of us, we were in uncharted territory, dealing with Heaven as individuals instead of as a group. I didn’t like it but what could I do? If she wanted some kind of closure, she’s entitled to it.
I just hoped it didn’t tear us further apart.
26
Heaven
Today was the last day of production for Creature Feature as we entered a break for the end of spring. The final show exceeded all the others with the number of cast, crazy storylines, terrifying costumes, and of course, extreme makeup. Lea and I spent three days working fifteen-hour shifts, showing up at 3 a.m. to start prep, and taking turns crashing on the couch in the back of the trailer. The whole process was exhilarating
. So much fun, but by the end, I felt like a zombie myself and didn’t even need the makeup to terrify anyone.
Making things more interesting was the Lea/RJ situation. The boy was smitten, I had no doubt. Sending her flowers, little notes, and an ample amount of coffee via his assistant all day long. After the final scene was over and we’d cleaned up our trailer, I commented, “Things seem to be going well with you two.”
Her tired eyes lit up. “I don’t want to jinx it but…yeah. Really good. I mean, we’ve been busy and not a lot of time to see each other, but I feel good about it.”
“Is he going to stay around here for hiatus?”
Most of the cast didn’t live here during breaks. Why would they? Especially being young, famous, and having the world at your feet in Hollywood or New York.
“I don’t know, we haven’t had a chance to talk about it.”
“I mean, you could go visit him, right? You don’t have any obligations here.”
“Just my dog.”
“If you get invited somewhere exotic, I’ll gladly take care of your dog,” I told her.
“Maybe,” she said, then raised an eyebrow. “How about you? Any progress on that closure thing?”
I fumbled with the brushes in my hand, scattering them across the counter. Quickly I resorted them into the containers. “A little.”
“What does that mean?” she took a sip of her coffee.
I sighed. “It means I had sex with Jackson after my friend’s engagement party.”
Lea, coughed, choking on her drink and spitting it across the room. “You did what? When was this? Are you kidding me?”
“I had sex with Jackson. A week ago. And no, I’m not kidding, although I’m starting to wish I was.”
“Girl, what happened?”
“We were alone and things just felt…right. I decided to go for it and the next day I told him why—about the need for resolution—and I don’t know. He seemed okay with it but he hasn’t spoken to me since and I can tell there’s a vibe with the guys. I’m sure he told Oliver. He tells him everything.”
“Why haven’t you spoken to him about it?”
I shrugged. “I guess I’m afraid to. I’ve just been spending my time with Hayden, taking him to the park and stuff for fresh air. He’s the least complicated of them all.”
“Why’s that?”
“Because he has a girlfriend and he’s off limits and that means we just have to move on. Forced closure.”
Lea rubbed her forehead. “Wow. What a mess.”
“You’re telling me.”
“So did you get it with Jackson? Closure?”
I wanted to say yes, that we had sex and everything fit together like a puzzle and we were done, but that would be a lie. Having sex with Jackson only stoked some still-burning embers and I didn’t know how to handle it. Hence the avoidance.
“Like I’ve said,” I answered, “it’s really complicated.”
I picked up the party invitation taped to the mirror. It was for the season premiere, which was going to be held at a local theater next week. “You’re going to the premiere, right?”
“Yeah, probably solo. I don’t think either RJ or I are ready to go public with the whole crew.”
I laughed. “You think they don’t know?”
She looked horrified. “Do they?”
“You guys have been flirting non-stop for two weeks. I think everyone knows.”
“Shit. I guess he and I need to have a talk about this, then.”
“Well, if you want, we can go together.”
“You don’t want to find your own date? Maybe get the ball rolling for another night of ‘closure’ with one of your guys?”
I started to laugh her off, but Lea may have been on to something.
“Maybe. I’ll think it over.” I gave her a pointed look. “And you better get ready for the realities of being RJ Malone’s girlfriend.”
She groaned but there was a smile on her lips, giving me the feeling she was willing to make some sacrifices for him—which meant she really did like him.
I tucked the invitation in my pocket, thinking of the sacrifices I needed to make to finally find my footing as an adult with the Allendale Four.
I found the perfect dress at a vintage shop down the street from my apartment. The shop had been there forever and carried the faint scent of dust and mothballs, but the selection was outstanding and the owner, having known me since my high school days of dramatic fashion statements, knew what I liked.
“Stefan,” I’d said when I picked it up. “It’s perfect for the premiere.”
The older man had smiled with pleasure. “I’m thrilled you’ll be wearing something from the store to the event. So exciting.”
We’d agreed the dress needed cleaning, so I took it to the specialty shop the costumers suggested at work. The fabric was old and needed careful handling. They called for me to pick it up while dropping Hayden as his apartment, and I almost ran over Jackson backing out of the drive.
“What’s the rush?” he asked, leaning into the open window. We hadn’t spoken since he left my house that morning. “Trying to run me over?”
“Ha ha, funny. I didn’t see you back there. Why are you loitering around the driveway anyway?”
“Hoping some hot chick with questionable driving skills will notice me.”
I rolled my eyes and he gave me a sexy, lopsided grin. It was impossible to not fall prey to his charms.
“I’m about to run an errand. Want to come along?” I asked.
“Yeah, I’d like that.”
A minute later I was trapped in the car with Jackson, overwhelmed by his scent, his voice, his presence. Maybe this wasn’t a great idea after all.
“So is this where we finally have that awkward talk?” he asked when we were a few blocks away and he’d touched every button on the dashboard.
“We probably should…right?”
“It depends.” He took a deep, steading breath. “Did you get what you wanted? Did you find closure?”
I stared out the front window and not into his piercing blue eyes.
“I don’t know. I’m not exactly sure it’s possible, not with the complexities of our relationship.”
“You mean everyone else?”
“Yes.”
“Do you want the same from them? Are you going to try?”
“I could,” I said, turning at the light. “But what I realized with you is that there’s this little part of me that doesn’t want to let go. So what if that part exists with everyone else? What if it just gets bigger and with everyone still spread out, with Hayden…unavailable…what happens then?”
He ran his hand through his hair. “I don’t have an answer to that.”
“What about you?” I asked. “What was the other night to you?” I pulled into the parking lot of the dry cleaners and noticed I had five minutes before it closed. I held up my hand and said, “Shit. Hold on to that answer.”
I scrambled out of the car and ran into the building. I saw a figure in the back and called out, “I’m here for a pickup.”
“What’s your name?” a voice called out.
“Heaven Reeves.”
The figure paused before rummaging through the rack of cellophane-covered clothing. When the worker finally emerged, it took me a moment to catch my bearings, to recognize the person in front of me.
“The one and only Heaven Reeves.” Spencer Harrison eyed the dress he was carrying. “I should have known.”
I swallowed, ignoring the jab. I’d heard rumors about Spencer since high school; that he got arrested a few times. That he never graduated. That he worked construction. I’d never seen him. Not until this moment. “How much do I owe you?”
“Hmmm…well, that’s a loaded question. How much do you owe me?” He rubbed his scraggly beard with a hand covered in tattoos. “What’s the financial equivalent of a senior year of high school, a diploma, and a clean criminal record?”
I pulled a twenty out
of my wallet and said, “I’m not here to rehash ancient history, Spencer. Just give me the dress.”
“What? You don’t want a little reunion?” He eyed me, looking me over for the first time. “You’ve only gotten hotter, Heaven. I always thought you were a little skinny, but now?” He made a gross motion, mimicking the outline of my body. “There’s a little meat on you to hold onto, if you know what I mean.”
There were moments in my life where I felt like I was walking in quicksand. When I was around my father, around Noah in college, around the closed-minded people in the town. Occasionally I ran into someone that knew me back then, that’d heard and believed the rumors, and all I felt was a wave of hopelessness that I would never be enough.
Spencer, despite his greasy hair and pathetic life, knew how to rattle me. He’d always had, and I turned to walk away, leaving my dress and getting the hell out of there.
I bolted through the door, listening to the cackle of his laughter. “You’re like this dress, Heaven, old and damaged. You can try to clean it up but you’ll always carry a few unremovable stains.”
My eyes were blinded with tears so I didn’t notice the man coming through the door. “Babe, you okay?” Jackson asked, hands on my shoulders, eyes focused behind me.
“It’s no big deal, Jax. I don’t want to do this today.”
“Jackson Pierce! I had no idea you’d still be slumming after all these years.”
“Shut up, Spencer.” He threw an arm around me. “I do not have time to kick your ass today.”
I tugged him toward the door.
“I guess Heaven’s like a case of herpes. Impossible to get rid of.”
And that was the final straw. Not just for Jackson, but for me. I pushed Jackson’s arm off my shoulder and rushed toward the counter, flinging myself over it in a quick move.
“Heaven!” Jackson called, scrambling after me. But it was too late. Spencer backed away, shocked at my resolve, and I hauled out and punched him in the face. He stumbled backwards, dark evil glinting in his eye.
