Dark Thoughts

by Cynthia Sax

  Kralj pressed his little assassin’s body to his. He would protect her from the clone and from anyone else meaning her harm.

  “Todt-933 will come back here.” Dita gazed up at him, her beautiful blue eyes ensnaring him. “You’ll sense him before he reaches the walls.”

  “I’ll sense him.” Kralj confirmed, understanding his clever female’s plan. “You’ll have time to prepare.”

  She would fight the clone outside the settlement, within his territory. He would ensure the male didn’t hurt her.

  She’d leave the Refuge but not him.

  The knot in the base of his neck unraveled.

  “I don’t need much time to prepare. I’m already familiar with the terrain around the walls.” Her smile lit her face. “I studied it for planet rotations before you spotted me.”

  Her teasing had little effect on him. She was staying. That was all that mattered to him. “Then you wait.”

  “We wait here.” Dita spread the flaps of his coat open, rested her chin on his bare chest. His stomach fluttered, the contact feeling right. “I’ll help you control your monster. There’s no need to expel the females from the Refuge.”

  “Is that why you devised this plan?” Kralj frowned, her words irking him. “You’re protecting the females?”

  “No.” She cupped his scarred cheek. “I devised this plan because I selfishly want more time with you.” His little assassin brushed his marred skin with her fingertips.

  Kralj gazed at her, his eyelids partially lowered, her caresses calming him, soothing him, reassuring him. “You’ll have more time with me.”

  He would do everything possible to ensure she stayed with him. He’d give her what she wanted, what she needed, cherishing her, caring for her.

  She’d never consider leaving him.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Dita spent the next five planet rotations with Kralj.

  She learned how to govern the Refuge with him. Although she couldn’t read minds as he could, she could read faces, body language, and she offered a different perspective on situations, one he appeared to value. He consulted her often.

  They talked, hunted, fucked. Dita fell asleep every rest cycle in his arms, listening to his heartbeat, her face pressed against his bare chest.

  Her promise to the females of the settlement hadn’t been forgotten. A portion of their time was allocated to training Sari, Azalea and others. Her focus, in recent planet rotations, had been the settlers, preparing them for the outside world, the rough, tough terrain they planned to inhabit.

  Sari, viewing Azalea as the being she was destined to protect, her bid for redemption, had chosen to accompany the girl.

  Dita would be losing two of her closest friends in mere moments.

  “They need more planet rotations of training.” She gripped Kralj’s hand, finding reassurance in his coarse fingers, in his tremendous strength. “Tell them to stay longer.”

  Sari, Azalea and the other females weren’t ready. They understood the fundamentals of self-defense but that wasn’t enough.

  “When I advised them to do that, Zeb, their leader relayed that the beverage outlets along the route had already been reserved.” Kralj didn’t look at her. “He also shared his concerns about a certain resident of the Refuge. He feels she’s a bad influence on the females in his group, undermining his teachings.”

  She was that certain resident. Zeb hated her. “You talked to them?” Dita gazed up at Kralj, surprised. “I thought you wanted all females gone from the Refuge?”

  “I wasn’t thinking of my own best interests when I talked with them.” His tone was dry.

  He had spoken with the settlers’ leader for her, to ease her concerns. Dita’s chest warmed. “Thank you.” She squeezed his hand.

  He grunted, nodding to Balvan as they exited the settlement. Dita waved at the giant green gatekeeper. The male dipped his bald head, his expression as imposing as his Ruler’s, only his sparkling eyes relaying his amusement.

  All of the modified humanoids considered her relationship with their leader to be a great source of entertainment, watching them with interest. She suspected that was because they had nothing more exciting to do.

  Kralj didn’t allow them to hunt with him. Dita lifted her head proudly. Only she had that honor.

  He stopped at the display of rotting corpses. She’d added some bodies to the grisly collection. Kralj had approved those kills.

  “This is as far as I go,” he declared.

  “Can’t you make an exception this one time?” Dita looked at the caravan in the distance and then back at Kralj.

  “There can be no exceptions.” He released her hand. “If I venture any farther, I can’t monitor the other side of the settlement. That puts all of those beings at risk.”

  “We’ll only leave your territory for a moment.” She leaned against him, wanting to talk with her friends before they departed but not wanting to venture from his side. “We’ll say our good-byes quickly.”

  Kralj lifted one of his eyebrows. “How long does it take you to kill a being?”

  “Mere moments,” she mumbled. Shit. Sometimes she hated how responsible he was.

  Most times, she loved it.

  She loved him.

  Dita had realized the depths of her emotions when she chose to stay with Kralj, rather than to hunt the third clone, her last remaining target. Yes, her plan to kill the clone when he returned to the Refuge made sense but, before she met Kralj, she would have never considered waiting for a target. She delighted in the chase, in the hunt.

  “I’ll survey your surroundings from here.” Kralj’s eyes gleamed. “Stay on this side of the caravan.”

  He could protect her there.

  Kralj cared for her, had vowed never to let her go, but Dita didn’t fool herself into thinking he loved her in return. She was the only being he could lose control with and not harm. That was why he wanted her, safeguarded her.

  That caring was more than she’d ever had in the past.

  For now, it was enough.

  “I’ll return to you.” She strode away from him, putting an extra wiggle into her walk, knowing he was watching her. “I’ll always return to you.”

  He was her new mission.

  When the guild had given her the task of protecting the females of Carinae E, Dita had interpreted that to mean she should accept assignments from those females, hunting down their tormentors.

  She now suspected the guild had a different purpose for her.

  Kralj, one of the most powerful, most dangerous beings in universe, called Carinae E home. She, a female who wasn’t susceptible to his gifts, had been assigned to that same planet.

  That couldn’t be a coincidence.

  Or maybe it was and she was grasping at any explanation to rationalize her decision to stay in the Refuge, stay with him.

  “Dita.” Azalea ran out to greet her, not looking left or right, unaware of potential threats. The young female hadn’t learned caution during their training sessions.

  They hugged. Azalea chattered about the trip, showing Dita the skimmer loaded with belongings. The settlers had scraped up enough credits to purchase the small ship. It couldn’t hold their possessions and them too. The beings would have to walk.

  Dita surveyed the group and her bad feelings about her friends’ trip escalated.

  The settlers seemed like nice beings. They spanned generations, consisted of different sexes, different origins.

  But they had one thing in common—they all appeared distressingly normal. None of them carried weapons. Not one gaze scanned the horizon, watching for attackers.

  There wasn’t a killer in the bunch.

  Dita glanced at Kralj, waiting by the gates, standing tall, his shoulders broad. Her friends didn’t have a monster to protect them.

  She had to stop them from leaving.

  “Azalea.” Dita grabbed the girl’s shoulders, turning her so she could look directly in her eyes. “Delay your departure. Do this
for me. Wait until Hulagu can accompany you.”

  The Chamele warrior was young but he had some skills and a basic knowledge of weapons. He could defend the females.

  Azalea stuck out her chin. “Dita—”

  “My gut says this is wrong.” Her intuition was often right.

  “My soul knows this is right,” the girl countered. “Before my mother died, I promised her I’d stay with the group. I won’t break that promise.”

  “Your mother would want you to be safe.” She had to convince Azalea to delay her trip.

  “I’ll be safe.” The girl shrugged, unconcerned. “It’s a big group and Sari says she’ll protect us.”

  “Protecting you is my responsibility.” Hulagu came into view. “You’re my gerel.”

  He’d been lurking by the girl, in Chamele hunting mode, invisible to a human’s gaze. Females around them gasped, their eyes rounding at his unabashed nakedness.

  “It’s not your first responsibility.” Azalea sniffed. “Or you’d leave with us right now.”

  “I have to remain at the Refuge until the end of the solar cycle.” The Chamele’s lips flattened. “I gave my Warlord my word.”

  “And I gave my mother my word.” The girl’s eyes blazed. “You can’t ask me to break it.”

  Dita couldn’t ask her to do that either. She understood honor, understood the value of a being’s word.

  And the feeling in her gut might be sadness, not a warning. Azalea and Sari were friends, rare beings in her world, and the mere thought of parting ways with them made her emotional.

  “I’ll join you when my assignment here is over.” Hulagu clasped Azalea’s hands. “If I have to search the entire planet, I’ll find you.”

  The young warrior loved the girl. Dita heard that in his voice.

  “You won’t have to search for me.” Azalea rolled her eyes. “I have a private viewscreen. We’ll communicate multiple times a planet rotation.”

  “I’ll communicate with you when I wake and before I sleep.” Hulagu stepped closer to the girl, his eyes glowing with passion. “And think of you all of the moments in between.”

  Dita was forgotten. She left the two young lovers to their goodbyes and wandered to Sari’s side.

  “Are you sure about this?” Dita asked her friend. “There are girls within the Refuge you could protect.”

  She couldn’t stop Azalea from leaving but she might be able to stop Sari.

  “I’m sure.” Sari tightened some ties. “My destiny is clear. Azalea looks exactly like her.” She never said the other female’s name, the female whose death she felt responsible for causing. “It’s my duty to protect her. I feel that here.” She touched her chest.

  “You might die while protecting her.” Dita expressed her fear.

  “I was supposed to have died that planet rotation.” Sari’s gaze drifted to Azalea. “The customer approached me. I was the female he wanted. But knowing he was a brutish, violent male, I encouraged him to choose her instead of me. And I stood there as she walked into danger.” Her gaze returned to Dita. “I won’t stand here as another young, innocent girl walks into danger. If that decision ends in my death, I accept that.”

  Her bravery impressed and worried Dita. “You’re a good being, Sari.”

  “I’m not a good being.” The female’s lips quirked upward. “But I owe a debt to the universe and this might repay it.”

  Azalea was determined to leave the Refuge and Sari was determined to accompany her, protect the girl. Dita extracted a gun from a holster on her right hip. “Take this.” She held out the weapon. “It’s loaded. Point the gun and tap the trigger.”

  “I can’t accept that.” Sari glanced at Zeb. The leader of the settlers glared at Hulagu. He disliked the young Chamele male and everything he represented. “Weapons aren’t allowed.”

  That rule put every member of the group in danger. Dita holstered the gun, removed a dagger from a sheath on her thigh. “Then take this instead.”

  Sari looked at it. “Dita—”

  “It can be used for carving stone or cutting fabric.” The thought of using one of her finely honed daggers for those tasks made Dita grimace.

  Sari paused for a moment and then accepted the gift. “Every settler needs an all-purpose knife.” Her eyes sparkled. “Thank you.”

  “Keep it close by you.”

  “I will.” Sari enveloped Dita in a fierce hug. “I’ll miss you.”

  “I’ll miss you too.” It felt like a permanent good-bye, like she’d never see Sari again. “Find your peace, my friend.”

  “I already have.” Sari’s smile was serene. “This is what I’m meant to do.”

  “I’m glad.” Dita gave her one more hug and returned to Kralj, the male she was meant to love.

  He stood where she left him. As their gazes met, relief flashed in his eyes.

  He didn’t think she’d come back to him.

  “Don’t question my honor, handsome.” Dita shook her head. “If I tell you I’ll do something, I’ll do it.”

  “I didn’t say anything.” His lips twisted.

  “You don’t have to say anything. I know you.”

  “And I know you.” He reached into the folds of his long coat, removed a small battle-axe. “You have a sheath free. Carry this in it.” He gave the weapon to her.

  The handle was the ideal girth for her palms. The blade was darkened, none of the metal reflecting the light, and it was exquisitely engraved, a work of art. One image, in particular, took her breath away. Her Guild’s coat of arms was depicted on the front gates of the Refuge.

  “Is this the access code for the settlement?” She retreated behind humor, using it to manage the turbulent emotions inside her. “One throw at your gates and I’m guaranteed entry?”

  “No throwing axes at my gates.” Kralj’s eyes glimmered. “And you will always have entry to the Refuge.”

  “Even if I break your rules?” She spun the axe. It was perfectly balanced.

  “Even when you break my rules.” He turned, strode through the gates, the same gates replicated on her beautiful new battle-axe.

  She had to jog to keep pace with him. “Are we hunting?’ She could try out her new weapon.

  “Perimeter check.” He squashed that plan.

  “We’re taking a walk.” Dita rearranged her weapons to accommodate his gift. “That’s what normal beings would call it.” Normal beings like Azalea and Sari, her friends.

  “We’re not normal beings.”

  She realized that. “We could act like normal beings once in a while.” She clasped his hand, swung his arm back and forth. “That would be nice.”

  “That isn’t possible, not for us.” He extended the shadow over his head, blocking the sun in an impressive display of his powers.

  “It is possible. A perimeter check isn’t much different than a walk.” Dita skipped. “Normal couples go for walks, holding hands, being together.”

  Kralj stopped short, swung her around to face her. “Listen to me, my delusional little assassin.” He cupped her chin, lifting her gaze to his. “Nothing about us is or will ever be normal.”

  She gazed up at him. “Because we’re monsters.”

  “Among other reasons, yes, because we’re monsters.” He inclined his dark head. “We can’t forget that.”

  Dita would never forget it. Even now, she looked forward to the next hunt, the urge to kill riding her hard. “We can have normal moments.” Between the bloodshed.

  Kralj frowned at her.

  She smiled gently. “I’d like that.”

  He narrowed his eyes.

  “Part of my early training exercises was to track beings without being detected.” She shared some of her past. “When I had a choice, I would track normal families, parents with their children, watch them haggle with merchants over nourishment bars, play in green spaces, try on garments. The children would complain that these tasks were boring. They didn’t know I dreamed of having their unexciting lifespans.”


  “You’ll never have that lifespan, little one.” Kralj brushed a curl away from her face, the hard set of his jaw softening. “You’ll never be normal. That dream is outside the reach of either of us.”

  “I know.” Dita wasn’t a fool. “We will always have the need to kill. It’s a part of us now.” She placed her palms on his chest. “And it’s a part of our role in the Refuge. Residents require our monsters to keep them safe.” The settler caravan had shown her that, its members lacking the protection of a killer like herself. “But we can have normal moments, can’t we?”

  She willed him to understand, needing this.

  Kralj covered her hands with his. “Yes, we can have normal moments.”

  “Thank you.” Unable to reach his mouth, she kissed his chin, tasting the salt of his skin.

  “You can thank me better than that.” He lowered his head, skimmed his lips across hers, his touch light, almost reverent.

  She curled her fingers over his nape and opened to him. Kralj deepened their kiss. They battled for supremacy once again, challenging each other, their tongues parrying, countering, advancing, retreating.

  She pushed him. He pushed back. His unique flavor filled her mouth, his nanohumanics fizzing and bubbling, changing her as he had, their connection strengthening.

  They were embracing in the middle of a busy pathway. Beings were forced to walk around them. Yet all she knew was him, his hands on her body, his firm lips slanted across hers, the rise and fall of his chest, the hardness against her stomach.

  She slapped her tongue against one of his fangs. Pain skittered over her. The metallic taste of her own blood filled her mouth. Kralj groaned, his form vibrating along hers. He sucked on the wound, pulling on her flesh, his thirst exciting her.

  The tiny puncture mark healed quickly, aided by his nanohumanics. Kralj licked her lips, capturing every drop of blood. She slid her hands under his coat, placing her fingertips over his heart, feeling it pound under her palms.

  He leaned his forehead against hers. His warm breath wafted over her cheeks.

  They stayed like that for several moments, wrapped up in each other.