Dark Thoughts

by Cynthia Sax

“I’m not knowledgeable about normal,” he confessed.

  She gazed up at him. That must have been difficult for her proud male to admit. “I’m not very knowledgeable about it either.”

  The hard line of his jaw eased. “What’s the difference between a perimeter check and a walk?”

  Dita grinned. “The only difference I can detect is the name.” She hooked her arm in his. “I suspect there’s less killing involved also.”

  “I prefer not to kill while on perimeter checks.” He led her along the pathway.

  They walked. Dita greeted the females she knew. Residents gaped at them, stepping out of their way. She doubted that happened to normal beings but she had to make some allowances for Kralj being the Refuge’s Ruler and for both of them being monsters.

  They chattered or, to be more correct, she chattered and Kralj listened. She relayed her conversations with Azalea and Sari, conversations she pretended he hadn’t overheard.

  “Will they be okay?” She continued to worry about them.

  Kralj’s broad shoulders lifted and fell. “Most of the planet is uninhabited. Their leader has researched sources of beverage. All of the stops are settler-friendly.”

  The planet was sparsely populated. She relaxed. The settlers would meet very few beings on their trek to their lots. Dita squeezed Kralj’s hand. She had been viewing the situation from the eyes of an assassin, seeing threats where there were none.

  The feeling in her gut must have been sadness. “I’ll miss them.”

  “I know.” He covered her hand with his.

  Two of her newfound friends were leaving but the male she loved remained. She wasn’t alone. He was by her side.

  Kralj stopped at one stretch of wall. A crack in the newly resurfaced façade zigzagged from one third of the way up to the top.

  She placed her hands on her hips, tilted her head back, studied it. “I could scale that.”

  “The crack is very small.” Kralj looked doubtful.

  “Watch me.” Dita scrambled up the side of a nearby domicile.

  “I’m always watching you.” His voice warmed with emotion. “But you’re going to fall. There’s not enough of an outcropping to hang onto.”

  “Then be prepared to catch me.” She swung onto the roof of the domicile, her arms burning with the effort. “We have to test the wall. It wouldn’t be much of a perimeter check if we didn’t.”

  “This is a walk, remember?” He moved when she did, remaining below her. “Normal beings don’t test walls.”

  That was true but she couldn’t resist the challenge. Dita ran and jumped. Her angle was perfect, deliberately high. She slid downward, the action shredding her skin. Her fingertips caught the edge of the crack. It held. Barely. Part of the material crumbled under her weight.

  “I’m climbing your wall, handsome.” She announced proudly.

  “You’re not at the top yet, my mentally unbalanced female.”

  “I will be soon.” She shifted slowly, following the crack upward. Her arm muscles strained under her weight, her boots propped against smooth wall.

  The resurfacing material under her left hand gave way. Dita moved quickly as that entire sheet fell, crashing against the stone pathway beneath her.

  “Dita,” Kralj growled.

  He was right to be concerned. She was in deep bovine shit.

  Sweat trickled down her spine. She couldn’t descend. That option had collapsed. She had no choice. She had to go up.

  The integrity of the resurfacing had been compromised. Sheet after sheet fell. She climbed faster and faster, trying to outrun it. Her left grip evaporated. She reached with her right hand, clasped air.

  Then she was falling. For a heartbeat, she thought she’d die, be smashed against the hard stone pathway, every bone broken. But then she remembered who was below her.

  “Kralj,” she called his name, her arms and legs flailing. He’d catch her. Her monster wouldn’t allow her to be harmed.

  “Damn it, female.” He cursed as she fell into his arms. His legs were braced apart. His expression was frantic. “Your antics will end my lifespan.”

  “That would be a feat.” She grinned up at him, breathless, her heart beating wildly. “Nothing can kill you.”

  “You can.” Kralj patted her all over as though searching for injuries. “You take too many risks.”

  “There was no risk.” She touched his face. “I knew you’d catch me.”

  He grasped her hand. “I knew you couldn’t climb my wall.” He sucked her injured fingers into his hot mouth, taking them up to the joints, tugging on them one at a time, healing them.

  Her eyelashes fluttered, his caring of her pulling at her heart.

  Looking for a distraction from her building emotions, she lifted her gaze to the structure. The resurfacing material had completely fallen away, exposing ragged wall with plenty of hand and footholds. “Any being, even a child, could climb your wall now.”

  Kralj turned, examined the structure. “You’re right.” He scowled. “But the being climbing my wall won’t be you.” He walked with her away from the wall. “You’ve had enough excitement for one planet rotation.”

  She didn’t protest. Her muscles ached too much for another climb. “Where are we going?”

  “Back to our chambers.” He carried her at a mind-spinning speed.

  Our chambers. That sounded nice. “Ah.” She snuggled against him. “You want to fuck me.” She wanted the same thing.

  “I want to spank your ass until it’s red,” he grumbled.

  “That’s nice too.” Dita smiled.

  Chapter Fifteen

  Three planet rotations later, Kralj considered applying his hand to a certain uncontrollable assassin’s lush backside yet again. She was doing a handstand on the edge of the wall, one strong wind away from falling to her death.

  Not that he would allow her to die. He’d save her. Once more.

  And she’d laugh, not even considering he might not be there to catch her.

  Because she trusted him.

  “Come here,” he ordered.

  She flipped backward, landing with an ‘oomph’ against him, her spine slamming against his chest. He strapped his arms around her, preventing her from bouncing off him and landing on her beautiful face.

  “You called, master?” She tilted her head back, grinning at him.

  He wanted to kiss her silly, sink his fangs into that vein pulsing in her pale neck, drink her dry. Instead he nipped at her bottom lip. “Respect me.”

  “I always do.” Her laughter tinkled, the sweetest music he’d ever heard. “Are we surveying your vast kingdom?” She gazed at the rooftops, the pathways, the beings hurrying like insects below them.

  Kralj did the same, holding her, savoring her feminine scent, her slender curves, the way her curly brown hair danced with the breeze. The battle-axe he’d had his top weaponsmith craft for her dangled from her waist. He’d painstakingly designed it, a miniature of his own, to fit her smaller hands, had engraved it to say everything he couldn’t.

  She belonged here at the Refuge, with the residents, with him. Orol was still his second-in-command. That hadn’t changed.

  Dita was second to no one. She was a part of him, like his beast, his monster.

  “This is nice, isn’t it?” She sighed, leaning against him.

  Kralj didn’t say anything because it was nice, a word he never thought he’d associate with his lifespan. He’d been created to kill. Upon escaping, he had modified that mission to protecting the residents of the Refuge, keeping them safe from others and from himself. Caring for another being was outside his realm of consideration.

  Yet he did. He cared for his little assassin, his mate, as his beast called her. She was his, the companion he’d always secretly wished to have, perfect for him in every way.

  Dita wiggled her ass against his groin, teasing his leather-encased cock.

  She was perfect in almost every way. He splayed his fingers over her stomach, pinning h
er body to his, preventing her movements. She fought him, of course. She always did. But he had the superior strength and she eventually quieted.

  She believed he needed to be challenged and maybe he did. Not having the ability to read her thoughts, his senses were fully engaged around her, his perception constantly tested. She made him a better monster, a better guardian of the Refuge, a better being.

  He nuzzled against her neck, relishing her softness. Orol circled above him, the winged male surveying the Refuge from the air. Kralj answered questions and settled disputes, reading thoughts, pushing his insights into the residents’ minds. They’d completed a perimeter check, or walk, as Dita called it, before climbing to the top of the wall. The settlement was secure.

  “Kralj?” Dita turned within the circle of his arms, facing him.

  “Yes?” He palmed her ass, enjoying how her curves filled his hands.

  “Would you still be with me if I couldn’t absorb your powers, if I was normal in that way?”

  If she couldn’t absorb his powers, she’d be dead. A coldness gripped Kralj’s heart. He would have killed her, taken her smile, her laughter, her light from his world. That ‘what if’ was too bleak for him to contemplate. “You’re not normal in that or any way.”

  She squirmed, clearly dissatisfied with that answer. “Let’s say I was. Would you be with me?”

  “No, I wouldn’t.” The thought of harming her horrified him. “Absolutely not.”

  “Oh.” Pain flashed in her eyes.

  He’d hurt her with that answer. “It would be too dangerous. I would touch you, lose control.” As he always did when he touched her. “And you’d—” His voice cracked.

  “And I’d die.” She finished the sentence for him. “Would my death bother you?”

  “Bother me?” He stared at her. “It would destroy me.”

  “You’ve killed in the past and it didn’t destroy you.” Dita acted as though her comment made sense, as though those previous deaths would be comparable to hers.

  “I didn’t care about those beings.” Not like he cared for her. “I care about you.”

  That word was inadequate for how he felt. His sun rose and set with his little assassin.

  “You’d care about me even if I was normal?” Her eyebrows lifted.

  “I told you from the beginning.” Kralj cupped her face. “Nothing about you is normal. I’ve lived thousands of human lifespans and I’ve never met anyone like you.”

  “You’ve never met anyone with the ability to block you.” Her lips flattened.

  “I’ve never met anyone with your daring, your laugh, your hair, your off-kilter sense of humor, the way you swing my arm as we walk, how you approach every task like it’s a challenge, your scent.” He inhaled deeply, taking her unique fragrance inside him. “Your scars, each one earned, your acceptance of me, my beast, my monster, my past, the appreciative sounds you make as you eat a nourishment bar, your ability to blend into the shadows—into my shadows, your patience with the females you’re training, the weight of your body against mine as we sleep.”

  Her eyes widened. “All of that makes me unique?”

  “Much more than that makes you unique.” He lifted her, holding her against his chest. “There’s no part of you that’s normal, even your insistence on pretending to be that way. I could search for the rest of eternity and never replace you.”

  She gazed at him. He had no idea what his damn female was thinking. A smile slowly spread across her face, making her pale skin glow and her blue eyes shine.

  Fuck. She was stunning, the most enthralling creature he’d ever encountered.

  “I feel the same way about you.”

  He doubted that. Kralj scowled at her. She didn’t have a beast ripping at her innards, seeking to bond with its mate every moment of the planet rotation. “We should take another walk.” That would calm his beast down.

  “We should do another perimeter check.” Her hand slid into his.

  Walk, perimeter check, whatever she chose to call it this moment, they were doing it. Kralj pulled her forward.

  Halfway through the task, she activated what she referred to as ‘stealth mode,’ slipping from shadow to shadow, climbing sides of domiciles, running from rooftop to rooftop, moving as quickly, as silently as a human possibly could.

  Kralj watched over her, aware of her position at all times. He remembered, in the distant past, when perimeter checks were boring.

  He never wanted to experience that emptiness again.

  “Little one—”

  He froze.

  Walk. Must Save. Others. Walk. Dita. Have to. Tell her. Walk. Pain. Too much. Walk.

  The thoughts originated at the edge of his surveillance range. Azalea, Dita’s young friend, had entered his territory. She was alone, barely alive, had been tortured, the images in her mind obscene.

  Kralj braced himself emotionally. This reunion would hurt his little assassin.

  “Dita,” he barked.

  Her gaze lowered to meet his and her smile disappeared. “What is it?” She scrambled down the side of the domicile.

  “It’s Azalea.” Orol, there’s a young female on the edge of my range. Kralj gave his second-in-command her coordinates. Retrieve her. Quickly.

  Yes, sir. The winged male flew in that direction.

  “Has the caravan returned?” Dita rushed to his side.

  He swung her into his arms and ran with her toward the gates. “The caravan was attacked.”

  “What?” She struggled, trying to free herself. “Where? By whom?”

  “It happened at the first beverage outlet.” Kralj didn’t release her. He’d known she’d react like this. His little assassin cared too much. “It wasn’t a random assault. The clone and his males were waiting for them.”

  Kralj exited the settlement with her, stopped at the line of corpses.

  “That bastard.” Dita bucked. “I have to go to them, help them.”

  “Orol is bringing her to us.” The winged male had located Azalea.

  Kralj contacted the Refuge’s best medic, told her to bring her entire team, pushing those commands into her mind. The girl would have the best care he could give her.

  “He tortured her.” In all the ways a male could torture a female. “Before he sent her to us.”

  “Because of me.” Dita made a hurting sound. “He attacked them, tortured her because of me.”

  “Because of us.” He had caused his female pain. If he had allowed her to kill all three of the clones, a caravan of innocents wouldn’t have been slaughtered. “I’m sorry, little one.”

  “Let me go.” She wiggled.

  “Never.” Kralj held onto her.

  Wings flapped. Orol came into sight, the young female cradled in his arms. Her face was a bloody mess, her flight suit ripped. Crimson coated the inside of her thighs.

  “I will kill him.” Dita shook with fury.

  She would have to wait until the clone returned to the Refuge to have her vengeance. Kralj wouldn’t allow her to rush into a dangerous situation.

  Orol landed. “She needs a medic, sir.”

  “They will arrive soon.” Kralj brought his little assassin closer to her friend.

  “Dita,” the young female whispered, her lips dry and cracked.

  “You’re safe, Azalea.” Dita carefully touched her battered hand. All of her fingers had been broken. “We’ve got you.”

  “The others.” Blood glistened on the young female’s lips, her wounds reopening. “He said. If you. If you go to him. They’ll. They’ll.”

  “They’ll live.” Kralj expressed her thoughts.

  “Sari—” Azalea breathed heavily.

  “Don’t worry about Sari.” Dita stopped her from speaking. “You did your part. You gave me the message. I’ll do the rest.”

  They’d do the rest, he silently corrected. She was taking no action without him.

  The team of medics surrounded them. They scanned Azalea with handhelds.

&
nbsp; Their thoughts told Kralj he and his little assassin were in the way. “Little one.”

  Dita glanced at him and then at the medics. Her eyes widened.

  She must not have noticed their arrival. That was how upset his normally hyperaware female was. Kralj folded his body around her smaller frame, adding an extra layer of protection.

  It wasn’t necessary. He sensed everything around them. But it was an action he could take, his mate’s grief, outrage, pain gnawing at him.

  “You’re a brave, strong girl, Azalea.” Dita returned her attention to her little friend. “I’m very proud of you.” She forced a smile. “I want you to focus on getting better. These nice beings are going to help you with that.”

  “Okay.” The girl’s eyelids already lowered.

  Kralj nodded at the lead medic. Her team transferred Azalea from Orol’s arms to a floating support and they whisked her away.

  Dita lunged forward as though seeking to follow them.

  Kralj maintained his grip on her. “They’re the best medics in the settlement. Allow them to do their job.”

  “They’ll do their job while I do mine.” She smacked his arms. “You can release me now.”

  No, he couldn’t. Take care of the settlement. Kralj told Orol. Don’t disturb us unless it is lifespan-threatening. Dita was his priority at the moment.

  “Did you hear me?” She twisted in his arms.

  “I heard you.” He heard every word she uttered, every breath she took. “If I release you now, you’ll rush into that trap the clone has set for you.” His lips twisted. “I won’t allow that. There’s nothing you can do for them.”

  “I could save them. Sari—”

  “Sari is dead.” He had to be cruel, had to tell her the truth. “They’re all dead. The only reason Azalea remains alive is because Todt-933 needed her to relay his message. You know that.”

  “No, I don’t know that.” Dita glared at him. “If there’s a chance I can save them—”

  “There isn’t a chance you can save them.” Kralj walked with her, heading toward the beverage outlet, their home. He’d restrict her to their chambers until she started thinking with her brain, not her heart. “They’re dead.”

  He’d repeat that fact again and again, if necessary, forcing her to accept it. She’d hate him but he would gladly bear the brunt of her anger if the venting made her feel better, if it eased her guilt, her pain.