by Izzy Shows
I needed something better than all this if I was going to keep him happy, and I desperately needed to keep him happy.
"Come on," I muttered as I pulled open yet another drawer, then crouched in front of it and nimbly thumbed through the folders and papers within.
"What are you doing in here?"
I froze.
Grayson.
Fuck, fuck, fuck! What was he doing here? It wasn't sunset yet. He should be asleep.
Slowly, I looked up to find him standing on the other side of the room, leaning against the door that I somehow hadn't heard him come through, his eyes narrowed in suspicion.
I gulped. I had to find a lie, and quick, one that would get him off my tail. Something that would be good enough to bring me in here...
"I'm sorry," I said as I stood up and shut the drawer. "I wanted to see if they had anything written down in here about me. About what they're going to do with me when they're done, I mean."
I looked down at the floor and twisted my hands together-- everything I could do to make myself seem timid and scared. At the same time, I reached out with my magic to tap into his biorhythm. It took me scarcely more than a second, I was so attuned to him.
I could feel his suspicion and recognized the danger it presented.
"You and I both know this won't last forever," I said, gesturing around with both hands. "Sooner or later, I'm going to come across whatever information they really want, and they'll decide they're done with me. I just needed to know it won't be the dungeon. Death would be better than the dungeon."
I finished in a small voice. The pain I felt was audible. It was true: I'd rather die than go back to the dungeon, back to a life of torture and pain and never seeing the sun. I couldn't live like that ever again. I'd rather kill myself.
Gray's features softened somewhat.
"All right. I can understand that, but you shouldn't be in here. Come on--let’s get you out of here before someone else comes along," he said, holding out a hand and gesturing for me to come to him.
I did, although inside, I was disappointed that I wouldn't be able to find anything.
But I could still feel his suspicion. He might be letting me go, but he didn't trust me.
I could live with that, for now.
13
Grayson
Once more, we were sitting in the Council's receiving chambers, where we heard the cases brought before us. The last time we'd been here had been for Nina, although what was going on now wasn't anywhere near as important as that. Or at least, that was how I felt. One of our men, Tomas, had insisted that he had vitally important information that he could only tell us in private, but I didn't see how he could have any such information.
He was a low-level vampire, scarcely high up enough to warrant his own private thrall, and he never did more than enough to get by. The man was greedy, always wanting more than he was willing to work for, and I didn't trust a word that came out of his mouth.
It didn't help that he was the same man who had accosted Nina.
Kill him. He threatened what is ours. We must kill him.
The beast inside me raged to be let free, to sink its fangs into the throat of the one who had threatened Nina, to take his life as was its right. I held it at bay, barely, with the tenuous logic that it was wrong. Nina wasn't mine--not mine to protect, not mine to defend, and not mine to seek retribution for.
That logic didn't stop me from hating the bastard, though, or wanting him gone that very moment. I didn't want to listen to a single word he had to say, I didn't want him anywhere near me, and I certainly didn't want him talking to the Council. I didn't want to risk that he might impress them--though logically I knew that couldn't possibly happen. The man didn't do enough to warrant arousing the interest of the Council.
"And what do you have to bring before us today, Lord Tomas?" Grimaldi said, his voice weak with age. He was the head of the Council, though he seldom asserted himself anymore. Age had tempered him, and he seemed to want nothing more now than to enjoy time with his mate. I wanted to release him from the Council, but that was only done as punishment; otherwise, a position on the Council was for life.
Tomas darted his eyes around the room, looking every bit the disgusting snake I knew he was.
"I believe there is something wrong with our dear King's thrall," he said at last.
I arched an eyebrow. "You would dare to suggest that there is something you know about her that I don't?"
"Sire, I have seen her in strange garb, sneaking around. Surely, she is up to something!"
He was not high enough in the ranks to know what Nina was and the position she had earned for herself here at court. We had all decided that it would be kept as quiet as possible--but that was dependent on Nina doing her part to keep herself hidden.
I cursed under my breath that another had seen her, knowing as I did that it would endanger her, but there was nothing I could do about it at the moment.
"The thrall Nina has been given an assignment by the Council that requires discretion and free roam of the castle," Isaiah said, and I could hear the distaste in his voice. "If that is all, you may go."
"But, sir!" Tomas started to object, but the look in Isaiah's eyes quelled him.
Grimaldi drew himself up, drawing everyone's attention. This was most strange, and the look in his eyes was even more fearsome.
"You would dare to question the will of the Council?" His voice was calm and controlled, but the threat was clear: this was not done. No one questioned the Council. To do so was practically akin to signing your own death warrant.
"No, of course not. My apologies," Tomas said, bowing his head.
He made his exit immediately, but I could see that he was fuming.
I narrowed my eyes. Why did he want to argue this? Why did he not accept the answer that had been given, and why did he care so much?
This was dangerous. I could see it, and I knew it required further inquiry. I would need to look into it. Later, when I had the time.
"Your thrall must be more careful, my King," Isaiah snapped as soon as Tomas had left the room. "Should she be discovered, it will reflect poorly on the Council, and we cannot have that."
Inside, I felt the need to laugh, but I schooled my expression.
"And what would you have me do about it? I have no idea what she gets up to; after all, I'm not allowed to interact with her. If you wish her to be more careful, you should say so yourselves. Unless, of course, you've changed your minds?"
Isaiah looked truly furious at that for a moment before his expression cleared.
"No, of course not."
I hid a smirk. I so enjoyed besting the ridiculous younger man, but I also felt a pang of disappointment.
I’d had been a hope, however small, that I might be given leave to see Nina more openly. As it was, I hadn't seen her since our conversation in her room several weeks ago, and I could feel her absence like a physical ache in my chest.
Soon, I would need to find a way to see her.
I had to be careful, though. I didn't want to arouse the suspicion of the Council.
14
Nina
Another day, another ridiculous event I had to go to. When I had first been Chosen as Grayson's thrall, things had been so much easier. I hadn't been expected to do much of anything, because thralls were apparently given bonding time when they were first Chosen, but that was over now, and I was expected to play a certain role to live up to the status I had been given.
I didn't interact with the vampires--much. There were some events where I was expected to be at Grayson's side, serving him, but for the most part, thralls weren't supposed to be seen much. My tasks were geared much more towards dealing with the other thralls, making sure they were all in line and doing what they were supposed to be doing, overseeing little events that they wanted us to do to 'keep up morale.'
It was ridiculous, and I hated it so much. I wasn't a social person; how could I be, when all my life, I had been
ostracized? But this was what I had to do, so I was living with it. It didn't help that, because Gray hadn't had a thrall before, most of the thralls weren't used to having someone like me around.
It really didn't help that I'd essentially dethroned Maria, who was one of the Council members’ thralls--she'd been running the world, since there hadn't been a King’s thrall to take care of it. I would much rather she continue doing all of it, but 'that wasn't the way things are done.'
Ugh.
I was moving through the halls as quickly as I could, because I had to get down to the kitchen to make sure the menu was correct for an event we had tonight. All I wanted to do was break into a run to get there as quickly as possible so I could get this over with, but I couldn't. I had to look civilized, to appear to float through the halls like a perfect little doll. It was all so ridiculous and misogynistic that it made me want to barf, but there wasn't anything I could do about it right now.
"Look who it is."
The sharp voice caught me unawares, and for a moment I considered ignoring it--but I couldn't do that either. It was Kati, one of the thralls who had decided to hate me from the very beginning, and I had to be 'available' to all the thralls to make sure they were all right.
"Kati," I said tightly, smiling at her as best I could.
She curtsied, and I inclined my head, as was right and proper, but I could see the hatred in her eyes. She hated having to pay respect to my role, but there was no way out of that for her, not if she wanted to keep her position. I didn't like to think of myself as a spiteful person, but secretly I prayed that Kati would give me a reason, any reason, to get rid of her. My life would be so much easier if it weren't for her--and my life was plenty hard already.
"What can I do for you?" I asked, trying to keep my tone even.
"I wanted to know what you'd done wrong this time," she said, her tone sickly sweet, as if she weren't insulting me.
"I have no idea what you mean."
One of the first times I'd interacted with her, she'd been just like this--implying there was something wrong with me because Gray hadn't enthralled me. But the word had spread throughout the castle that it had been done, so she couldn't hold that against me anymore. But I was sure she'd found something else to hate me for; that was just who she was. She couldn't ever be happy.
" I heard a rumor that you'd been moved into a separate suite from the King--clearly, that means he doesn't like you. I assume you aren't taking care of his needs the way you're supposed to?" She smirked. "I really do pity you, you know, that you don't have something like what I have with my dear, sweet Tomas. He loves me."
Tomas? I was tempted to snarl that her dear, sweet Tomas had attacked me in the library not that long ago, and clearly, he wasn't as sweet as she thought he was. But I kept my cool, knowing that she was just trying to get to me--and she probably already knew that Tomas wasn't what she was saying he was. She just wanted me to think she had something better than what I had.
That was who she was.
Deep breaths, Nina. You’ll get through this, just like you've gotten through everything else.
"Like I said, I have no idea what you mean. Now, if--"
"But, Nina, I need to know: what did you do that made the King not want you so much? I need to know so I can make sure not to do it. And you have to take care of us, right? I don't want to end up like you, with a vampire who doesn't care about me. How did you get moved into your own suite? What did you do wrong?"
Her questions needled at me, making me want to throttle her. Inside, I seethed at her implications, wanting to prove her wrong--but the truth was, I had been moved to my own suite, and I couldn't tell her why that was. The Council would never forgive me if I let that cat out of the bag.
As to her other point, I wanted to refute that as well. Gray did want me--he’d come to me during the day, hadn't he? To talk to me? And he'd wanted me when he enthralled me, although he had left very abruptly. And he'd been so concerned when he realized I thought he would hit me, and he'd promised it would never happen again. Clearly, he cared.
But I couldn't say any of that, either. Kati was a horrid gossip, and it would get back to the Council almost instantly if I said anything to her. That would get Gray and me in trouble, and I couldn't risk that.
Fixing a fake smile on my lips, I forced myself to return my attention to her.
"Kati, I've said twice now that I have no idea what you're talking about. Now, I have very important things to take care of. Good day," I said, inclining my head and turning on my heel to march in the opposite direction. I didn't care that I was moving away from the kitchen; all I wanted right now was to get away from Kati.
She didn't follow me, thank God, which gave me a minute to cool off.
Wait a minute. Was I just defending the ridiculous notion that Gray cares about me? What the hell. Where did that come from?I didn't want him to care. He didn't care; I knew that. He couldn't care about me--I was a blood mage. He hated me. He'd practically said as much when I apologized to him, and besides, he was a vampire. I hated vampires.
This was just a job and nothing more, and I definitely didn't want Gray to care about me.
Right?
15
Grayson
I will surely die if I have to sit through another of these damned Council meetings, I thought as I stared at Nina, who was waiting patiently for Eric to finish speaking. I was always impressed with how she carried herself throughout these reports. She never looked afraid or flustered. She never let anyone know what she was thinking, and that was damned difficult to do.
Especially at the moment. Eric was going on about how she wasn't giving good enough information on the wolves, how they wanted more from her, and rather than looking abashed or nervous, she was waiting for him to finish talking so she could respond.
You shouldn't be impressed with her. She's probably up to something. You caught her rifling through the Council papers. What do you think that means?
But she'd given me a good reason for her being there. If I had been in her shoes, I'd want to find out what was going to happen to me as well. I wouldn't be content to wait and see what they had in store for me. I'd need to know. I couldn't really blame her for that, not when I could see her side of things.
But it still didn't quite sit well with me. I didn't know if I could believe that what she'd said was the truth, that it was really the reason she had been in the Council chambers.
You shouldn't be thinking about this right now. Nina is talking, and you need to pay attention.
Indeed, Nina had already launched into her latest report on the werewolves, and I knew I needed to give it my utmost attention. But even though I'd turned away from my suspicions, I couldn't stop my mind from drifting--along with my eyes.
My eyes roamed her body, caressing her curves as I longed to do with my hands, and all I could think about was the way she'd felt in my arms when I had enthralled her, the little sounds of pleasure she'd made, and the taste of her skin and blood. The way her tongue on my throat had felt while she coaxed the blood from my body, her teeth digging into my flesh to pull out more and more...
Gods, what I would give to taste her one more time.
Can't. Can't touch her. You'll lose control again, like you did before. It's too dangerous!
I knew that, but it didn't stop me from wanting her.
You shouldn't even be thinking about that. Pay attention, I reprimanded myself and forced my attention back to her face, in the hope that it would allow me to focus on what she was saying.
"...And the wolves are currently focusing on increasing their ranks in response to the information I gave them a while ago about how you're responding to the hybrid threat," she said, finishing her statement.
I narrowed my eyes, watching her, feeling for her.
What she said made sense. There was nothing inherently wrong with it, and yet it didn't sound right. Something about it sounded off, but I had no reason to doubt her, especially not wh
en it made so much sense. After all, why wouldn't the wolves want to take advantage of us while they thought we were weak?
Yes, it made sense, but that didn't stop it from feeling wrong.
I pushed my senses a little further, trying to feel for her, knowing that if something was wrong, I would be able to feel it through the thrall bond. There was nothing there, so and should mean there was nothing amiss.
But I haven't felt anything yet, and isn't that odd as well?
I shook the thought away. Maybe the thrall bond only transmitted strong emotions, such as when we were in the middle of the thralling--and it made sense that I wouldn't have felt her then. She wouldn't have been enthralled until just before I had pushed her away, and I had been so caught up in what I was feeling, I wouldn't have been able to focus on her as well.
I'd never enthralled anyone before, so I didn't quite know how it worked. I had only what other people had told me to go on. I couldn't very well ask about it now, because someone would wonder why I was asking.
I'm sure everything's fine. It's not like the thralling didn't take. That’s never happened in all of our history.
Why did that not stop the growing doubt in my mind, though?
16
Grayson
My tux felt restrictive, the tie around my throat too tight, but I knew that was all in my imagination. It was all properly fitted; my mother had seen to that. No, my feelings of claustrophobia had nothing to do with my clothing and everything to do with what was going on.
