Shattered & Scarred: The Sacred Hearts MC

by A. J. Downey

  “That we do.” I said. She nodded but wouldn’t look at either of us and continued picking up after the festivities. She wore those black workout pants that kissed her every curve. She also wore a lavender tee that fit her like a dream. Her feet were clad in her new sneakers and her hair rode in a braid over her slender shoulder, a thick rope of auburn that I wanted to twine around my hand as I pulled her mouth to mine.

  God damn these were some intense urges for a woman I didn’t even know! I needed some distance, clear my head… the big one.

  “I’m going out.” I said abruptly.

  “Would you like me to fix you some breakfast or coffee?” her soft voice drifted across the common room to me, barely audible, but soothing to my frayed nerves.

  “Sure Babe, yeah. I’d like that.” I said. The fiery rush to get out of there cooled a bit. “I’m gonna grab a shower while you work on that. Okay?” I asked and she nodded and graced me with a watery smile.

  This was going to suck so hard but it was totally necessary. I went back to my room, picked up my shower caddy and my towel and went for the nearest shower. I turned on the cold water as far as it would go and showered in record time. I dressed in my last pair of fresh jeans, a worn but comfortable USMC heather gray tee and my boots. I moved my wallet and chain and my belt over to the fresh pants.

  I sat on the edge of the bed that Ashton and I were sharing and propped my forearms on my knees. Okay. I couldn’t deny the total lust I was feeling for Ashton but damn. She deserved a hell of a lot better than the likes of me. I hung my head and closed my eyes. I was surprised to find that despite how hard I was kicking my own ass not to touch her, not to take her any place either of us would regret going that I didn’t for one minute regret picking her up off the highway, but man picking her up was a huge responsibility.

  She was seriously fucked up in the head and I didn’t always have the patience required for this sort of thing. Like it or not though, I was responsible for her and right now, the best thing I could do was get her out of the club. I was starting on that today. I sat up and there she was standing in the doorway, plate of food in one hand, cup of steaming coffee in the other. I smiled.

  “This is hard for you…” she whispered.

  I patted the bed beside me and sighed. She set the plate and coffee on the dresser and sat down obediently and it almost killed me to see it.

  “Not why you think.” I said and worry creased her brow.

  “Have I done something wrong?” she asked.

  “No.” I said.

  “Then what?” she asked and I let my gaze sweep her pretty, if troubled face.

  “I have a week to find us someplace to go, we can’t stay here forever.” I said. She nodded carefully.

  “I have to be back to work this afternoon,” I added “And I’m worried about leaving you here.” I frowned.

  “I’ll be okay.” She whispered.

  “You sure?” I asked. God I wanted to do bad things to her. I concentrated on the problem at hand.

  “I’ll stay in here if you like.” She murmured.

  “Yeah. Unless you’re with Doc or Chandra. Use the nearest bathroom and get right back in here. The T.V. isn’t hooked to cable but the DVD player works. Anything you like to watch? I’ll go get it for you.” I searched her face and she looked relieved.

  “Thank you.” She breathed.

  “For what?” I asked.

  “For not sending me away.” I blinked.

  “Naw, not going to do that to you. Now what do you like to watch?” I asked.

  “I like musicals…” she said tentatively.

  “What like Phantom of the Opera?” I asked.’’

  “And Les Miserables.” She smiled and it was a genuine one and it changed her whole face.

  “Okay. I’ll get them for you.” I drank some of my coffee and she stood up. She bent at the waist, one hand on the swell of my shoulder and kissed my cheek softly. It was my turn to jump.

  “What was that for?” I asked gruffly, secretly thrilled.

  “You’re good to me.” She said in her soft lyrical voice and she drifted out the door. I picked up my plate of pancakes and syrup, and followed her out to the common room where she returned to the kitchen. I sat at the bar and watched her move around the stainless steel industrial setting. She seemed lighter somehow. I shook my head and shoved a bite of pancake in my mouth. She was a good cook, and I needed to hurry up and get those damned movies.

  More people filtered in from the back, no doubt enticed by the smell of food and coffee. I hit up Doc and Chandra and told them what I’d told Ashton. They both agreed it was best and nodding to the woman in question I went out into her new namesake.

  About half the day later I sat on the back of my bike and contemplated buying a real pack of smokes instead of this e-cig shit. I figured finding an apartment would be easier but it was turning out to be a giant pain in my ass. I tipped my face up into the sun and closed my eyes letting the deep red glow of the inside of my eyelids suffuse me with the warmth the air lacked.

  It was beautiful but still crisp out. Spring was trying like hell to come in but hadn’t quite made it to temperature. I started my bike. I had time to swing by the club house and only be about ten minutes late to work. Ashton’s movies rode in the inside pocket of my cut and I wanted to give them to her before she died of boredom. I merged into traffic and rode, comfortably in tune with my bike, the road and the wind.

  Once back at the club, I backed the bike into its place and cut the engine. I got up and slipped into the dim interior of the club house and blinked when I was assaulted by the strong antiseptic smell of lemon cleaner. Three brothers stood talking in the entry way. Everything fucking sparkled…

  “Trigger,” Doc called, Reaver, my best friend, was grinning at me and Dragon, the man, the president himself, turned around; teeth bared in a grin of his own, nestled in his dark beard.

  “Your stray’s been busy man.” Dragon said holding out his hand. I clasped his forearm and was pulled into a bone crushing hug. We slapped each other soundly on the back and I went back to surveying the common area.

  “She did the bathrooms too.” Reaver said and I kind of cringed at that. The bathrooms here were disgusting.

  “Where’d she get the stuff to do it?” I asked.

  “Found it laying around, if I had to guess.” Dragon spun in place.

  “Hope you don’t mind.” I grunted.

  “Naw brother, I’d like to meet her.” I nodded.

  “She’s in laying down. Tired herself out.” Doc let me know.

  “Yeah, okay, I’ll see if she’s up for it.” I said, Dragon and Reaver nodded.

  I went down the hall and opened my door. Ashton sat up quickly.

  “Easy girl, just me.” I held up my hands where she could see them. She looked up at me, her face still sleepy, hair tousled and it was hot. I smiled and reached into my cut, plucking the two DVD’s out of the pocket there and held them out.

  “You brought them!” she said in surprise and half reached out.

  “Sure did, go on take ‘em.” Soft wonder filled her eyes and she plucked them gently from my fingers.

  “Got a couple brothers out here that want to meet you. You up for it?” I asked. She looked up at me and nodded getting to her feet off the bed. She was in my dress shirt again and I held out my hand. She set her movies lovingly on the covers and put her hand in mine and we went out into the common room.

  “Holy shit! That little thing did all of this!?” Reaver asked. Ashton shied behind me like a child would and I gave him a look.

  “Sorry.” He said and looked chagrined.

  “Ashton.” I said, pointing at him, “That there is Reaver and this is Dragon. Dragon is President of Sacred Heart MC.” Ashton blinked up at the two men.

  “It’s a pleasure to meet you both.” She said gently and Dragon laughed.

  “Likewise.” Dragon dropped into a chair so he could get a better look at her.

 
; “Would you look at them peepers?” he commented.

  “Never seen eyes like that.” Reaver agreed.

  “Ashton.” I said and she looked up at me.

  “Yes?” she asked.

  “You doin’ all right?” I asked.

  “Yes, I’m sorry.” She came around so that they could see her but her trembling belied her words.

  “Nothin’ to be sorry about.” Dragon held up his hands.

  “Listen Babe, as long as Dragon or Reaver here are around you’re good to go, just as if Doc or Chandra were here. You get me?” I asked.

  She nodded a touch too quickly.

  “I gotta get to work.” I said and pulled my hand from hers. She looked a little lost for a second but then turned the full force of that golden gaze on me.

  “Your lunch.” She said and I frowned.

  “What?” I asked.

  She scurried off into the kitchen and came back and I noticed she was in her bandaged feet… then I noticed the floor was clean. I blinked. Damn she had been busy. She returned a moment later with a brown paper bag and handed it to me.

  “I made your lunch.” She said softly and I looked dumbly down at it. Three masculine chuckles. She blushed and I frowned.

  “Thanks.” I said. Could she be any more fucking adorable?

  “Go on man, Ashton you want to stay out here or go back to Trig’s room?” Dragon asked and I couldn’t respect the man more for giving her the choice.

  “If I’m allowed I would like to return to Ethan’s room please.” She murmured and I smiled.

  “You can do what you want around here. You don’t need no one’s permission.” Dragon leaned back in his chair and it creaked under his bulk. Dude was still cut at fifty.

  “Thank you.” She whispered and beat a hasty retreat.

  Dragon’s expression darkened, Reaver’s clouded over too.

  “You got your work cut out with that one brother.” Reaver commented.

  Didn’t I know it? I looked down at the sack lunch in my hand. The guys laughed at me.

  “Fuck off.” I muttered and went for the door.

  The three of them howled with laughter after me. It was pretty funny. Who makes a bad ass biker a sack lunch?

  Apparently Ashton did.

  Chapter 6

  Ashton…

  I sat on the bed and held the plastic cases with shaking fingers. He’d bought them. He hadn’t forgotten, or changed his mind. He’d asked me, I’d told him and then he’d gone out and bought them for me. I blinked. I must have been staring at the two DVD’s in my fingers for an hour or more. My mind spinning and whirling. A knock came at the door, I startled and stuffed the movies beneath the pillows to hide them out of old habit. Had it been Chadwick he would have taken them away just to be spiteful. He could be like a little boy ripping the wings off a fly, and usually I was that fly. I cleared my throat.

  “Yes?” I called softly.

  Chandra poked her head into the room.

  “These boys are bitchin’ they’re hungry out here. You want to get out for a minute and get something for them?” she asked.

  “Do you think it would be all right?” I asked.

  “Please!” she said, rolling her eyes, “You’re not a prisoner here sweetie. Get dressed if you want to come.” She slipped out the door and left it open and I swallowed. I made a decision and scrambled to the end of the bed and dressed quickly in jeans and a long sleeved shirt that swirled with scrollwork pattern and blushes of color in grays and pinks.

  I shoved my feet into socks and my new sneakers, which still hurt but couldn’t be avoided, and crept out into the common room. Dragon, Dray, Reaver and Doc sat around a table playing cards.

  “There she is!” Dragon called.

  “Cool. What do you guys want?” Chandra asked.

  “I don’t know, what do we want boys?” Dragon asked and I could see the resemblance between himself and his son. There was no mistaking their blood relation.

  Reaver was younger than Ethan, early to mid-twenties, with short brown hair that was shorter on the sides but longer on top giving the illusion of a Mohawk without actually being one. It hung low in the front, reminding me of a horse’s forelock, resting on his forehead between his eyes which were warm despite their light blue. Bluer than Ethan’s which were more silver. He had a dark blue teardrop tattooed at the outside corner of one eye and it was at odds with his easy smile.

  The men traded notions of fast food restaurants and I grimaced and before I knew I had opened my mouth I suggested,

  “I could cook for you.” I was met by four sets of eyes, two dark two light… one of those pairs smoldering with barely suppressed anger. I shuddered at Dray’s expression and licked suddenly dry lips.

  “Yeah. Okay. Pony up fellas.” Dragon said and wallets came out and bits of green were put onto the edge of the table.

  “Use it all, stock the kitchen.” Dragon grunted and pushed the money towards me. I was frozen to the spot. Speechless. Chandra’s heels clicked across the floor and she picked up the money and thrust it into my hands.

  “Come on Babe, don’t want these boys to starve to death.” She winked at me and I followed her silently out to her car.

  “What’s wrong?” she asked. I looked at her.

  “They just gave me money.” I said a little stunned.

  “Yeah so?” she asked. I rubbed my fingers across the bill’s surface. How do you tell someone when it’s been more than three years since you last held any sort of money in your hands?

  “I…” I closed my mouth. I didn’t know what to say.

  “Wow your husband was a real piece of work.” She complained, pulling out onto the three lane highway.

  I counted the money and thought about what to do. The kitchen with Chadwick was always just… stocked. I hadn’t had to do it myself. Chandra took us to a grocery store and I chewed my lip.

  “Know what you want to do?” she asked.

  “I don’t know what they like.” I murmured and she snorted.

  “They like anything. Those boys will eat just about whatever you put in front of ‘em as long as it has some kind of meat in it.” I nodded and decided what I was going to do. I knew what the kitchen had and didn’t. We started in the produce section. Chandra chattered on about each of the men and how she’d met Doc.

  “Dragon founded the club about thirty years ago or more, before Dray was even thought of. He hooked up with Dray’s mom a little under ten years into it. They had Dray when Dragon was in his early thirties, late for him but not so much for Tilly. Dray was a good kid, not always like what you see now…” She sighed and chattered on.

  I listened politely and moved up and down aisles feeling oddly exposed. Soon the feeling grew into the pricking sensation of being watched. Finally in the dairy section Chandra broke off mid-sentence and turned.

  “What are you looking at?” she demanded of a man, who was indeed staring.

  “Nothing!” he exclaimed uncomfortably.

  “Then take your ass over there!” she told him, pointing off in a direction that was away from us. “Creep.” She muttered.

  We finished shopping quickly after that. At the check stand the woman checking us out was staring at me too.

  “What?” Chandra asked.

  “Nothing!” The clerk said hurriedly, “It’s just, she looks like the missing woman on TV.” She said and I felt the blood drain from my face.

  “Missing?” I asked, breathy.

  “Yeah two nights ago off the highway after a disagreement with her husband. Are you her?” she asked.

  “No!” I said hurriedly but could taste the lie.

  “Does she look like she’s missing?” Chandra snapped. The clerk looked at me, her eyes locking on my bruises.

  “Didn’t see a thing.” She said resolutely, pursing her lips, and she and Chandra traded knowing looks. My hands shook like crazy as I counted out the money for our things, I was almost surprised I could even do it. Chandra grabbed our ba
gs. I took the change and we both hurried from the store. I never in a million years dreamed he would go to the news…

  “Don’t worry about it Baby.” Chandra said, interrupting my thoughts as she backed out of the parking stall. I knew he would look for me. That he would find me… I closed my eyes.

  “He hasn’t found you yet. The boys will know how to get ahead of this.” She said, pulling the thoughts right out of my head.

  We drove back to the club house, Chandra immediately got onto her phone as we pulled out onto the main thoroughfare. It sounded like she was talking to Doc. I sank into my seat and tried to sort through my feelings. I had far too many of them to deal with. One of them stood out desperately clear from the rest though…

  I had no desire to return to Chadwick Granger. None whatsoever. I was as sure as the day was long that doing so would be the death of me and I didn’t want that life, the fear, anymore.

  Three somewhat anxious males and one angry one met us at the clubhouse door. I stepped out of the car and automatically began picking bags out of the back seat to bring in. Doc stopped me.

  “You all right sweetheart?” he asked. I nodded miserably.

  “You want us to call Trig for you?” Reaver asked and I looked up alarmed and shook my head.

  “No. There’s nothing to be done for now, let him work. I’ve disrupted his life too much as it is.” I turned to unload more groceries and heard Reaver mutter…

  “If anyone’s life needed a shakeup it’s that fucker’s.” I looked at him sharply and stopped my mouth before it could open. He was smiling and there were at least two grunts of agreement. I put confusion somewhere on the list of things I was feeling.

  “Put those down.” Dragon ordered and I immediately complied.

  “C’mon boys, let’s get these in the house so Ashton can fix us some grub. I’m starving.” I blinked. Just like that they moved around me and I followed Chandra into the club house. I went into the kitchen and washed my hands, my mind whirling and clicking and pulling in a thousand directions.

  No one seemed phased by this new development. I thought of all that could befall them from hiding me from him and grimaced. Chadwick was devious, he would figure out some way of spinning things to make him look like a saint, me out to be a victim and these good people out to be vile kidnappers… if he wanted to. That was the thing about my husband, he was unpredictable. Went with whatever whim or fancy overtook him at the time.