Darkest Sin

by Ashton Blackthorne

  And I knew I would do anything to protect my children.

  Even if it meant giving up my one true love.

  Weeks later, my premonitions turned out to be right.

  “I’m serious, Ayden!” She slammed the door in my face. I wanted to pound on the door, but feared waking the twins. “If you leave me alone one more time, I will take you to court. I’m going for full custody!” She screamed at me through the window.

  Kicking the side of the house, I cursed at her. “No judge in the world will give you full custody. I’m a good father!”

  Sasha opened the window. “You call dropping by every day to spend an hour with them being a good father? You call just writing me blank checks being a good dad? Bullshit. You live ten miles away. You could be here more! You know these babies keep me up all night? I walk the floor with them at least three or four hours a night. I haven’t had a decent nights’ sleep since they’ve been born. You run around all day taking Reese out to fancy clubs and restaurants and I’m stuck here all alone. That’s bullshit, Ayden!” She screamed so loud I feared she’d wake the babies up along with the rest of the neighbors.

  “Fine, Sasha. I told you Reese and I were happy to keep the twins at our house if you wanted some time alone. I told you to take a weekend, go into the city and have fun, but you won’t.”

  “I’m still breastfeeding some. How am I supposed to do that?”

  “Use the breast pump. Reese said a lot of mothers do that when they work full time. You can do it too. You would at least get a few hours away.”

  “You just need to be here with us. We need to be a family. If we’re not, then I want to move back near my family in Houston.”

  “Houston? I don’t fucking think so. You’re staying right the fuck here. I’ll file paperwork and ensure you do. You can’t leave the state.” I was furious. How dare she threaten me with going all the way to Texas?

  Sasha sputtered searching for a solution. “Fine, then I’ll move to Rochester to live near my sister.”

  Rochester would be an eight hour drive from the coast. I knew I could make her stay in New York, but I couldn’t make her stay in the city. “You like it here, Sasha. Be reasonable. It’s not like I don’t come by every single day. I’ve walked the floor with them. I’ve bathed them, given them bottles, and changed their diapers, too. Don’t you dare act like I haven’t done a damn thing for them!” I raged at her. I’m glad she was behind the window. I had a strong urge to shake her for saying such stupid things.

  I heard a baby crying. Then the other one started screaming.

  “Great, now you woke the babies up. Good fucking job.” Sasha turned away from the window.

  “I’m sorry. Do you want me to come in and help?” I asked sighing.

  “No, you have to get home to your girlfriend. I’ll be fine. You’ll be hearing from my attorney.” She slammed the window closed.

  I could hear the twins screaming. Shaking with rage, I got into my car. I had no idea what to expect from her.

  Only the worst, I feared.

  The next morning a man was standing outside my house ringing the doorbell.

  “Ayden Blackthorne?”

  “Yes, who wants to know?” I rubbed my eyes sleepily.

  “You’ve just been served.” He handed me a packet of papers.

  I flipped through them. “What the fuck is this?” I yelled as he jumped back into his car.

  “Don’t blame me, son, I’m just the messenger.” With that, he roared off in his tiny Chevy Aveo.

  I sank down onto the couch to read through the papers. Holy shit! She was going for full custody. ‘In the matter of minor, Devin Neil Blackthorne and minor, Laney Grace Blackthorne…’Fury coursed through my veins as I continued reading.

  “Who was that?” Reese walked in wearing one of my t-shirts. Normally, I would definitely paid attention as I found her irresistible wearing my shirts, but today all I could see was red.

  “This.” I tossed it at her.

  “What the fuck?” She scanned the documents. Her face tensed as she finished reading.

  I got up and began pacing tightening my hands into fists.

  “She wants full custody? Good fucking luck!” Reese slammed the papers onto the counter.

  “No, she doesn’t really. She wants me to move in with her.” I looked down. I couldn’t believe the nerve of her.

  “What? Why?” Reese flipped the coffeemaker on.

  “She wants us to be a family. She said if I don’t, she’ll take the babies to her sister’s in Rochester.”

  She bit her lip as she stirred the cream in her coffee. “I see. So she wants me out of your lives? She wants you as her husband not just as a father to the twins.”

  I saw as the tears in her eyes began to fall. I rushed over to her. “Don’t worry, baby. I’m not going to do that. We’ll find a way to keep the twins and stay together.”

  She shook her head sadly. “Even if we win, she’ll make it hard for us. I don’t know if I can do that. Dammit!” She slammed her cup against the wall. The porcelain chips flew everywhere.

  I grabbed her arms and held her to me.

  She collapsed sobbing.

  “I love you. I love the twins. I can’t lose you.” I continued to hold her. Fuck this, I wanted to be with her more than anything.

  Maybe more than I wanted my children.

  I couldn’t even think. What the hell was I to do? I’d talked with my attorney. Due to my criminal history, I wouldn’t be able to secure full custody myself. Even joint custody was going to be a long shot. I thought that with Ash’s influence and the money backing me I’d end up in a better position.

  Not so.

  Sasha had no criminal history. She was financially secure due to her prior job as PR rep for a prestigious company. She had no significant drug history. It was well documented that I was a former drug addict. My attorney had explained all this would be made public at a custody hearing. The paparazzi would have a field day with story given Ash’s celebrity status.

  And I would likely lose my children.

  I saw no other way around it. I loved Reese more than anything.

  Almost anything.

  I’d grown up without my father and it had devastated me. I had always wanted to know him, to be with him. I’d been convinced that having my dad with me would’ve made my life perfect. Maybe it wouldn’t have, but all I knew was I had to honor my father’s memory by being there for my children.

  No matter what.

  One Hundred Eleven

  Ash

  With the kitchen table littered with cut out pictures of wedding paraphernalia, I thought I was going to lose my mind. Amber was obsessed with the wedding particularly her dress. She’d already had the dress made and was getting ready for her final fitting and Heratio was coming by later. Yes, we would be blessed with having the great Heratio coordinate our wedding. I was excited for the wedding, but I had to admit picking out the napkins that would coordinate with the table cloth that coordinated with the flowers simply didn’t interest me.

  So when Ayden said he was coming by later I was anxious to talk with him. I threw a pair of tight jeans on and a flannel shirt hoping that when Ayden arrived we could do some skeet shooting. I was itching to go hunting before the wedding. Pedro and Sadie were excited to join as well. I’d been having them practice fetching in the yard.

  “Amber, I’m heading out. Ayden just pulled up.” I kissed her on the head as I grabbed my shotgun.

  “Oh, you’re shooting again?”

  “Maybe.”

  She waved her hand at me. She was too wrapped up in the wedding planning.

  “Hey, man. How are the twins doing?” I asked as he stepped out of his black Jaguar.

  “They’re great.” He smiled weakly. Something was off with him. Oh God, I hoped he wasn’t using again.

  “What’s wrong? Is it Reese? Sasha?”

  He sighed heavily leaning against the car. His sunglasses hid his eyes from me.
/>   “Both. Everything was going so well. Oh God, Ash, I don’t know what the fuck I’m going to do.” He viciously kicked the tires on his car.

  “What do you mean?” I had a feeling we weren’t going skeet shooting today. I dropped my bag on the driveway.

  “I mean that Sasha gave me this.” He handed me a packet of crumpled papers. I scanned them quickly.

  “This is bullshit.” I tossed them back at him. “She won’t get sole custody. She’s single with no job. How will she support them?”

  Ayden shrugged. He seemed defeated already. “She had a career before she got pregnant. She was a PR rep. She did pretty well.”

  “How well?”

  “She bought an apartment in Manhattan not far from where you used to live.”

  “Have you called our attorney?”

  “Yes, talked to him several days ago before I even got this. He said with my criminal history I have no shot at sole custody. Joint is even debatable.”

  “I don’t buy that. You’ve done nothing wrong since you’ve—?”

  “—don’t go there, Ash. You know what I’ve done. I don’t want any of that coming out in court. It will devastate Reese.”

  “So what are you going to do? Just let her take your kids?”

  He shook his head. He shuffled over to the edge of the driveway looking out over the ocean. “No. I’m going to move in with her,” He muttered.

  “What?” I rushed over to his side. “Did you say you’re moving in with her?”

  He nodded as he looked at the ground.

  “Why? That’s fucking crazy!” I couldn’t believe it. How could he let her win? It was insane. “You’re not thinking, man. What about Reese?” I grabbed him by the shoulders.

  “I can’t do this. I want to fight her, but I can’t. This isn’t about my happiness. I would do anything for my babies. This is about their future.” His eyes were still hidden by his sunglasses.

  I reached up and yanked them off his face. “What the hell are you doing to yourself?” His eyes were red and swollen. I couldn’t stand to see him this way.

  “I have to think of Devin and Laney. They’re what matters now. My life doesn’t mean anything without them.” He looked broken.

  Shaking my head, I walked to the front of the car. I couldn’t look at him. Taking a cigarette from my pocket, I lit it and exhaled. “Ayden, think this through first. I know you love your twins, but your love for Reese is what sustains you. It’s kept you sober for months now. If you go to be with Sasha, you’ll never be happy.” I kept my back to him.

  “It’s done. I want to be with my children. I won’t let them grow up without me. I refuse to let my kids become the drug addict I was.” Ayden threw open the door and jumped back into his car.

  “What the fuck are you doing?” I raced to the driver’s side smacking the window.

  He cracked the window. “Let me go do this, Ash while I still can.” His voice broke as his hands trembled on the steering wheel. He started the car.

  “Do what you want. You will anyway.” I stepped away from the car as he backed up. I couldn’t believe it. He was destroying his life and there was nothing I could do about it.

  Or was there?

  The night air was cold. Another Nor’ester was blowing in and I didn’t have much time to get where I was going and get back. I wrapped my coat tightly around me as the car heated up.

  “Ash, a storm is coming in. Hurry back,” Amber called to me as the garage door was closing.

  This was probably the worst idea I’d ever had, I thought as I walked up the cobblestone walkway. A freezing cold wind whipped through my hair as I shivered inside my thick black coat. I glanced at the gold knocker on the door. It was in the shape of spider.

  Of course.

  Swallowing hard, I knocked. God, I hoped she still didn’t have that hideous spider she’d brought back from Egypt. As soon as the door opened, I had my answer. I could see past her to the huge glass container she kept the spider, Ujaesus inside. I shuddered.

  “Ash, I didn’t expect to see you here. Don’t you know a storm is coming? Your sexy fiancé will be worried.” Ava leaned against the door wearing a black silk robe.

  “Isn’t it a bit early to be in bed?” I noted her attire. She had a fire burning in the fireplace.

  “It’s never too early for bed.” She winked. “As long as you’re not alone.”

  I looked past her into the house. I’d never actually been inside her house since she moved out here.

  “Come in. I’ve got someone in the bedroom, but I can put him on ice.” She laughed as she stepped aside.

  I had a sick feeling in my stomach when she said that. Knowing Ava, she might well have a guy on ice in there. “Who’s your friend? The guy in the bedroom I mean.”

  “Just a passing fancy.” Ava laughed grabbing a bottle of Macallan 25 from the bar. She poured the liquor into a crystal tumbler. “Macallan still your favorite?”

  I nodded taking the glass.

  Soft yet strange music blared from the speakers. She turned the volume down. I cast a weary glance at the huge spider in the glass container.

  “I see you kept Ujaesus.” I sipped my scotch.

  “Of course. She’s my treasure.” She tapped on the glass and the spider waved her front legs around.

  “I bet that gets interesting when you have people over.”

  Ava chuckled as she shimmied over to the couch in her slinky robe. The silky fabric parted as she sat down on the velvet chaise revealing she wore nothing beneath.

  “Ava, really, you couldn’t get dressed.” I looked away.

  “Don’t be a prude, Ash. We’re only half siblings.”

  A hard shiver shot up my back as I sat down on the couch. I finished my scotch.

  “So, enough with the social bullshit, why are you here?”

  “Ayden.”

  She closed her eyes briefly shaking her head. “Don’t get me started. Let me guess he’s going to that bitch, Sasha, isn’t he?”

  I nodded.

  “I knew he would. My God, Reese will be devastated. She’s my everything. I can’t have this happening to her.”

  “I know. The whole thing is awful. Ayden just wants to be a good dad. He doesn’t want to hurt Reese. He loves her. She’s what’s kept him sober all these months. Once he leaves her, God knows what will happen to him.”

  Ava tapped her long nails on the glass. “I could make Sasha go away,” she murmured.

  I stared up at her in horror.

  “What did you say?” I couldn’t believe she meant that the way it sounded.

  Ava lit a cigarette and blew the smoke out. “I could take care of the problem then Reese could have the twins and Ayden.”

  The soft whir of the blower from the fireplace was the only sound I heard. My mouth went dry as I shrank back from her. Was she suggesting what I thought she was? “No, Ava, I don’t think that would be necessary.”

  Her blue eyes met mine. She inhaled deeply then blew out the smoke. “It’s not like I haven’t done it before, dear brother.”

  My stomach coiled as I absorbed the implication of her statement. The room instantly began to feel overwhelmingly hot. Wiggling out of my jacket, I leaned forward taking my glass in hand. I swallowed the rest of the liquor and poured another glass full. “I’m going to pretend I didn’t hear that.”

  She crossed her long legs opening her robe up to the hip.

  I could clearly the top of her legs from where I was sitting and she made no attempt to cover herself. Her nipples were hard and poking through the thin silk of her robe. I was both aroused and repulsed. She was my half-sister!

  “Haven’t you been doing that all your life, Ash? Pretending, that is. You and I we’re two of a kind.”

  “I thought you and Ayden were ‘two of a kind’.”

  She laughed grinding her cigarette out in the ashtray. “We are in many ways, but you and me, well, we’re ruthless. Willing to do whatever it takes to get ahead. If that
means offing someone, I know many people who can do that for me or if I’m bored, I’ll just do it myself.”

  “Just don’t kill anyone, Ava. There’s no need for violence. We’ll figure this out…” I stammered as I went for the door.

  I shook my head, unable to agree to that possibility. “We’ll figure something out,” I promised as I left her house.

  One Hundred Twelve

  Ayden

  “You can’t be serious?” Reese screamed as I began packing my stuff.

  “You can stay here, baby. I’ll sign the house over to you.”

  Reese sobbed snatching my hands away from the suitcase. “I love you, Ayden. Why are you doing this? We can fight her.”

  My eyes were blurry with tears. This was a lot harder than I thought it would be. I felt as though my heart were being ripped in two. “I could, but what good would it do? I love my babies. This is for them. Everything I’m doing is for them.”

  Reese sank to the floor sobbing. She kicked at my suitcase. “I can’t take this. My heart won’t take this. I love those babies, too. I was there when they were born. I’ve held them. I’ve changed and fed them. In a way, they’re mine too, Ayden. How can you take them from me?” She bawled loudly tears soaking her face. Her mascara ran down her cheeks in muddy streams.

  “I don’t want to hurt you, baby. Believe me, if there was another way, I’d do it, but there’s not. I’ve spent a lifetime making terrible decisions. I’ve tried to make amends for them, but this is the only way.”

  Reese scrambled to her feet to face me.

  The whir from the ceiling fan distracted me momentarily.

  “Do you think I’m going to wait for you, is that it? The twins are babies. You expect me to wait for you for eighteen years?” She screamed her fists clenching.

  I half-expected she would hit me. “Not at all, baby.” Truthfully, I didn’t know what to expect. I wished she would hit me. It would hurt less than this emotional hurricane.

  “I can’t do this. I can’t. I love you. I love the twins. Please, Ayden, don’t go to her. You can still be a great dad living with me. You love me not her. I adore having the twins come over here. I love being a stepmother. I want to be your wife. This is the family I always dreamed of having.” She was difficult to understand through her sobs. Her face was red and blotchy. Her makeup smeared all over her face. She appeared to be a broken doll.