Pain

by Amanda Mackey

  “Pull my hair! Now!” The seam of my jeans was nearly splitting me in two, but the glorious pleasure it was providing far outweighed anything else resembling discomfort.

  I let my hands find their way into his lush bed hair, grabbing two fistfuls. I pulled as hard as I dared, hoping it would be enough to give him the kick he was itching for, but clearly, I was being a pussy about it.

  “Fucking pull! With everything you have!”

  Shit. This was not normal. The aggression we were using was out of this world. It was messed up, but it stoked the unearthed grief that had been stowed away in the far recesses of my soul since my mother’s death. His thumbs reached across to each of my throbbing nipples as he held me. My armpits were getting sore from the force he was using. His mouth clamped onto my lower lip and bit hard just as he flicked both my nipples—I was gone—catapulted out of Justice’s room. Out of the earth’s orbit, flying to the stars. I let out a long, agonized moan that turned into heaves of ecstasy, causing me to nearly rip Justice’s hair from his scalp. It seemed to do the trick because he pushed into me two, three times, cursing like gutter trash on each tumultuous exhale as he spilled his seed into my father’s freshly laundered sweat pants, the word “princess” chanting out from his husky throat. The liquid soon seeped through onto my damp jeans, but I didn’t give a damn, because in this very real moment with the nefarious stranger I had felt more than I ever thought possible. Like the numb part of me had begun to experience little pinpricks of sensation. Those sparks that I’d wanted to flame were ablaze.

  Justice was grunting out his aftershocks, his forehead on my shoulder. My hands were still filled with his messy hair, but I’d eased off on the pressure.

  Without looking at me, he placed me on my feet and walked away with an air of coldness to the chair with the clothes, in search of some fresh pants. Not a word was spoken. A wall of betrayal hit me. A sense of being used and abused and I’d been dumb enough to get caught up in it. What had I really expected? Whispered words of comfort and hope? He’d dry fucked me like an animal, plain and simple. I couldn’t hope the orgasm would offer me anything more than that.

  I needed a change of clothes and then fresh air. “Get dressed and meet me out back.”

  I didn’t wait for his reply but skulked into my room and closed the door. Now that the adrenalin was wearing off, tears pricked my eyes. Like coming down off a high, my mood had dipped, leaving me ashamed and pissed at myself for letting my hormones take control. I certainly wasn’t easy although you wouldn’t have known that the way I’d succumbed to Justice’s pheromones. What was it about the guy that crashed my senses when I was in his gravitational pull?

  Peeling my jeans off, I opted for some sweats, a racer back workout top, and a fleece jacket. When I looked in the mirror, I noticed my lip had bled a little. That had happened when Justice had bitten down on it. The pain had been hidden under the intense pleasure that had ripped through me. Just the idea of that feeling had my heart leaping.

  My cheeks were rosy, and my eyes were gleaming unusually bright while my wayward hair was a fisted mess. Giving it a brush, I tied it up off my face, threw on a pair of new socks, and walked to the kitchen to retrieve my boots, looking forward to visiting the elephants. They would help bring me back down to earth and to see things in a different perspective. They always did.

  Booted feet sounded on the timber floors, so I made a quick exit to my truck to await my passenger. I was feeling awkward about what had happened, and Justice’s snub after he’d put me down on the ground confirmed that he was regretting it too.

  I started the truck and switched the heater on to warm the chilly air.

  Justice got in and buckled up. I guess he still didn’t trust my driving. I remained focused out the front window and let out the throttle easily, ignoring the scent of sex that was still attached to both of us.

  As we approached the elephant enclosure, Justice finally broke the silence. “So, am I going to be aggressively pursued like I was yesterday?”

  For a moment, I thought he was talking about me and was about to rip his head off. “What?”

  “I just wanted to prepare myself in case the elephants were going to gore me with their tusks or something.”

  Making eye contact, drinking in his fine mouth that had been all over my face and neck and the clumped hair I had practically pulled from its roots, I stuttered, “Oh…n-no. The elephants are fine. They like people for the most part.”

  I could have sworn he muttered, “They haven’t met me yet,” but I wasn’t sure, so I let it go. It would be interesting to see how he would be welcomed.

  Opening the gate, I drove through, following the bumpy dirt road across the valley until I saw the first sign of them.

  My mind quickly changed gears from thoughts of Justice to the magnificent, majestic creatures standing together, just hanging out.

  I drove up as near as possible, excitement bubbling out of me. “Get out when you’re ready.”

  I wasn’t even looking at him as I rounded the truck and flew over to my towering grey family.

  It had been a couple of days since I’d visited, and they were clearly happy to see me, using their trunks to greet me. I kissed their wrinkly skin one by one, letting them playfully muss my hair and tickle me with their long snouts as if I was the center of their world.

  “OMG! I’ve missed you guys. I love you so much! How’s everyone doing?”

  They were so placid with me, loving that I’d visited. They truly were gentle giants, their colossal size a front for their passive temperaments.

  Remembering Justice, I turned toward the truck and called out to him. “Come on over. They won’t bite.”

  I waited for a moment, not sure if he was going to, but then the door opened, and he got out, slowly nearing, waiting for some sort of a reaction from them, but they continued to nuzzle me, not caring in the slightest that a stranger was approaching. Perhaps it was because I was with them.

  Justice stopped a couple of feet away, raising his head to accept their full colossal size.

  “Closer. Here.” I held out my arm for him, apprehension written all over his face. It was my turn to feel in control again.

  Glancing at my arm, he shunned my offer and took another step forward, our jacket-clad arms touching. I turned my head toward him, and with an encouraging grin, I offered, “Go on. Touch him.”

  Tentatively, his hand came up to rest on the thick leg of Aran, the largest, and only bull, who stood enjoying the petting before angling himself toward Justice and bringing his long tusked trunk down around his waist.

  I giggled at the gesture, but Justice looked far from amused. In fact, he tried to pull Aran’s trunk away so he could step back, but I stopped him.

  “Don’t. It means he’s accepting you as a friend and not a threat. He likes you.”

  Justice raised one bushy eyebrow, “How the fuck do you know that?”

  “It’s what elephants do. He’s showing you affection. Just stand there, and take it.”

  Aran was far from finished. He unwound his long nose and sniffed all over Justice’s face and then down his chest, burrowing his trunk into the half-zipped leather jacket as if wanting to push it off. By this stage, I was full-on laughing.

  The fully grown female, Inca, moseyed over and began sniffing Justice’s back and ass. It was hilarious as he squirmed and writhed—although, I could see it brought a smile to his face.

  “What the hell are they doing? Why is that one sniffing my butt?”

  That had me laughing even harder, holding my gut as my muscles clenched. “You did change your boxers, didn’t you?”

  He pinned me with his gaze, still smiling. It was the happiest I had seen him since he’d arrived, and my heart soared that the elephants had affected him positively.

  I moved away from Inca and Aran, leaving them to maul Justice while I gave baby Nellie some love. When I say baby, she was twelve months old, but the youngest of the three. Inca had taken on t
he role of mother and looked out for her, which was amazing to see. She stood at the rear of her mother, the shyest of the trio.

  “How’s my baby girl? Huh?” I took her trunk in my hands and kissed up the side. She moved in closer, loving my affection. Returning my kisses, she ran the end of her trunk over my face as I crooned softly to her. My heart was in the moment with these three. Nothing else was as important as giving my soul to the intelligent giants.

  Happy that Justice had been accepted into their family, I decided to get him working for the day. Playtime was over.

  Letting go of Nellie, I walked back around to Justice, who was petting both Inca and Aran. For a few short heartbeats, I watched in captivated awe as he interacted with them, neither the criminal nor the broken young man that he portrayed to society. He was simply present with the animals—a sensation I knew all too well—somewhere beyond what had happened to him or who he had become as a result. A connection with another living being that didn’t require permission or time to build. It just was, and it was instant.

  My father’s dream was becoming a reality right before my eyes. He knew. He damn well knew the power of having that connection with something, and he wanted to use it for good. The elephants didn’t judge or give a toss what Justice had done. They accepted him in that moment, and so that was good enough for me. Inching closer, I gave Inca and Aran a final nuzzle, knowing we had to leave.

  “I hate to break up the party, but there’s work to be done.”

  He looked up at me with a half-smile. “I thought we were working.”

  “Ha. No. This is play time. You’ll get to do plenty of that, but for now, there’s a stable to repair.”

  “Are you shitting me? I don’t know anything about fixing up a stable.”

  Not waiting on an argument, I started for the truck. “Then you’re about to learn.” He couldn’t see the smug grin on my face.

  The dilapidated building came into view with its gaping hole in the roof and boards off the outside walls. Structurally, it was sound, but it had succumbed to the ravages of time and needed a little tender loving care.

  “Oh no! I don’t think so.” Justice balked.

  “It looks worse than it really is. Come on. I’ll show you.” Shooting him a look, I chuckled at the way his jaw was nearly touching the floor, eyes wide, hands squeezed tight on his thighs.

  There was a pile of newish boards inside and some roof shingles. All Justice needed to do was use some of that brawn to hammer and nail. Any guy could do that.

  The stable door opened with a weary groan, a shaft of sunshine beaming in through the hole in the roof. The smell of dust and wood hit me as I walked further in, surveying what would hopefully become shelter for my new horse or horses in the near future.

  “Where are the horses?” Justice asked from behind. I was glad he had at least come in to take a look.

  “I don’t have any yet. That’s why it’s getting repaired. I want it weatherproof before I put any in it.”

  “You really can’t fucking expect me to do this shit,” he barked, eying the inside scathingly. “If you ask me, it needs a bulldozer.”

  “Well, I didn’t ask you, and you are going to do this whether you like it or not. It’ll do you good to burn off some of that…” I waved my hand in front of him, searching for the right word. “Testosterone.”

  Bellowing out a laugh, head thrown back, the long lines of his throat worked its muscles in response, allowing me a few seconds to recall how soft the skin there had felt under my lips. The exclusive aroma of male that had seeped from his pores and incited my senses. A strong, throbbing pulse beneath my tongue. The crude honesty with which he’d voiced his pleasure. Hot desire that I’d incited. God, when I’d looked into those hungry eyes, they’d been open books of carnal fire.

  “Princess?”

  I gulped, oblivious to how fast he had closed the gap while I’d been swooning like a fifteen-year-old.

  “Stay back.” My hand came up to stop him. I couldn’t do close without crumbling. He was too much to handle.

  Snatching my wrist, he leaned over me, breathing heat down the side of my head until he paused at my ear. “You look like you want to fuck me. Is that what you want?”

  “No, please. We can’t. You need to step away.” My eyes were squeezed tightly shut as I fought for control.

  “Then don’t tempt me by killing me with those stunning eyes. That little episode in my bedroom didn’t even begin to sate my thirst to possess you.”

  Oh my. Hearing that come out of his dirty mouth wasn’t helping to strengthen my resolve. Every molecule of my physical body was exploding into starbursts, dazzling me. I clutched a handful of his leather jacket, ready to lift my head and claim that wicked mouth, but he let me go, stepping away as I’d asked.

  “Son of a bitch,” he cursed, plowing a hand through his sex hair. “Get me working on something. Now! I don’t care what it is. I need to pound something.”

  Walking over to the pile of wood where a toolbox sat with a hammer and a box of nails, I picked them up and handed them to him. “Any rotting or warped boards on the outside, pull them off and replace them with new ones. Don’t worry about the roof for today. Just get the walls done. I’m sure you can figure out how to bang a nail into a piece of wood.”

  I had to leave. I couldn’t stand another moment of his tortuous presence. I called out behind me as I made my way to the door, “I’ll be back at lunch time. There’s a tap outside if you get thirsty.”

  Deciding I needed to take Macy up on her offer of coffee, I dialed her number as I drove and told her I’d meet her in half an hour.

  ***

  “You what? Damn, girl! That is so hot! I picked up on the tension between you two last night. It’s crazy! He’s got some serious vibes rolling off him.”

  I’d confided to my friend what had happened earlier in the morning, needing her unbiased opinion. “I can’t let it happen again. He works there. He just got out of prison and not to mention he’ll be leaving again in a couple of months.”

  Adding some sugar to her coffee, Macy stirred it as she watched me. “Sounds to me like you two just need to go at it like rabbits and get each other out of your systems. I’ve never seen you so worked up like this before. He’s really affected you.”

  “Macy! That’s not the advice I was looking for. I don’t sleep with someone just to get them out of my system. I don’t roll like that.”

  Taking a quick sip and then blowing the top of her too hot drink, she said, “Look, all I’m saying is, he’s obviously hot for you. You’re hot for him. Just don’t think about it. Let the rest take care of itself. There’s nothing wrong with that. I mean, let’s face it. How long has it been since you had a romp between the sheets?”

  “Ugh. So long ago I can’t remember. Maybe that’s all it is. Pent-up sexual frustration and Justice happens to be wildly dangerous, and my libido is clapping her hands with glee.”

  “So? What’s the problem then? Is it the fact that he’s been in prison?”

  Worshipping my coffee with both hands, I shrugged her question off. “I really don’t know. I just think he’s after sex—that’s all, and I’m not sure if I can just do that. He’s into certain things.”

  Sipping her coffee, she asks, “What kind of things?”

  “Things he probably shouldn’t.”

  “Oookay. Now you’re being obtuse.”

  I didn’t know how much to reveal. Macy was fairly open-minded, but the things I wanted to tell her were way outside normal. “He gets off on pain while he’s aroused.”

  Her eyes widened, and her cup stopped mid sip. “As in pain pain?”

  “There’s only one kind of pain, Macy.”

  “Oh.” Her eyebrows drew together. “What sort are we talking about?” Scrunching her nose up, she added, “Is it bad?”

  I nodded. “I get the impression he likes blood.”

  “Shit. That’s screwed up by anyone’s standards. I can see why you’re
in a dilemma.”

  “What am I going to do? Every time the guy gets within three feet of me, I turn into a blithering fool.”

  “It’s a hard call, Li Li. I mean, it could get dangerous. I don’t want to see you get hurt.”

  “I thought I could handle him. I was handling him until this morning.”

  “Does your dad know?”

  “No! And he’s not going to. The guy’s only been here a day, and already I’ve had an orgasm to him.” I rubbed my face, frustrated.

  “Do you think there’s any hope for him?” she asked.

  “I guess. I’ve seen tiny snippets of who I think he really is. Every so often, he lets his guard down, but then as quick as a wink, it’s back up again, and he’s all arrogant.”

  “Maybe you’re the one who’s going to save him.”

  I thought back to the way he’d interacted with the elephants this morning. Could there possibly be any hope? “I don’t know if that’s possible.”

  “Well, Daniel and I are here if you need us.” She reached across and patted my hand, a smile blooming on her face.

  “Thanks, Macy. I really mean that. Coming for a coffee with you has been just what I needed. We should do it more often.”

  “Absolutely.” Her cell pealed out before she could say anything else. Swiping the screen, her face lit up, and I knew it must be a message from Daniel. They were both smitten, and I was so happy for them. Two genuinely nice people who deserved each other.

  “I’m going to have to love and leave you. Dan has the car all packed up. We’re heading to Herrington’s Sierra Pines resort for some hiking. We’re staying overnight and will be back tomorrow afternoon.”

  “Oooh, sounds romantic.” I quirked my eyebrows as I finished my coffee.

  “I’m counting on it.”

  “Well, don’t do anything I wouldn’t do,” I offered.

  “Judging by what you told me about your bad-boy criminal, that doesn’t leave much.”

  Standing, I moved to embrace Macy. “Have a great time. Call me when you get back, and fill me in on the juicy details.”