Pain

by Amanda Mackey

But here he was, alive in front of me, so I had to deal.

  After they left, I didn’t know what to do, so I went back in and sat down at the table.

  “So, do you know what you want to call him yet?” I asked nonchalantly.

  Instead of an answer, I received a discerning glower. “Why?”

  I wasn’t sure what he was meaning. “Why what?”

  “Why did you get me a dog?”

  “As Macy said—” Cutting me off, he held up a hand.

  “I know what Macy said, but I want to hear it from you.”

  My hands clenched the seat of the chair to ground myself. I needed to be completely upfront with him. There had been no ulterior motive if that’s what he was getting at.

  “I wanted to do something nice for you.” His frown was beginning to annoy me. What happened to people just doing things for others because they wanted to?

  “Was it a guilt gift?”

  “What? No! Mr. Holland called to see if we wanted a puppy, and I thought of you coming home today. I wasn’t even thinking about what happened—even though I’ve already told you how sorry I am for prying into your private world. I guess what I really wanted to do was make you smile. Everyone smiles at puppies, right?”

  My usual ability to speak without babbling had disappeared. Justice did that to me with those way too sexy eyes. They made me all kinds of nervous. I’d seen them shuttered in lust, glazed after a shattering orgasm, and I’d be damned if they couldn’t bring me to my knees.

  His pupils dilated before glassing over, and I wasn’t sure what was happening. Was he about to cry? Jesus. That would do me in.

  “No one’s ever done anything like that for me. All I wanted when I was a kid was a puppy.” His nostrils flared, and there went the tic in his jaw I’d been searching for while he’d lain in the hospital. A sign of some sort of emotion.

  We gawked at each other. Justice seemingly lost and I unable to speak through fear of sobbing.

  Puppy had snuggled into Justice’s broad chest, content and warm as if he had found home.

  There were so many unspoken words floating in the air. Should I say something or just keep my big mouth shut?

  Drawing in air, he muttered, “All I wanted was a fucking puppy.” His eyes held me captive, filled with so many things. Pain. Regret. Sadness. I wasn’t going to be able to hold my own tears back for much longer. The drugs must have been keeping him in check because I was expecting the raw rage I’d witnessed on a number of occasions when his past was brought up. Instead he sat and just peered at me like I was keeping him grounded.

  I imagined him as a small, lost boy. All he wanted was that damn puppy. A friend in his fucked-up life. And now he was regarding me as if I’d just given him the earth. Maybe I had. Somehow, I didn’t think the dog had played a massive part in Justice’s neglect. There were far greater things he had gone without, but in his eyes, not getting that puppy had been everything.

  Giving him a genuine smile, I said, “Looks like you finally got one. I’m so glad I thought of it.”

  For the first time in a long while, his lips curved upwards into the most devastating smile. “Thank you.”

  “You’re welcome.” We were having a moment, and I never wanted it to end. We had made a breakthrough. Who would have ever thought that a puppy would be the answer? And I’d been so worried he’d react adversely to my gift. Instead, I’d given him the one thing he’d always wanted but had never been allowed. My heart swelled with joy in that moment of emotional connection. I’d made a difference, and it was my utmost determination to keep making a difference, not only in Justice’s life but the lives of the animals we cared for. The gift was in seeing and feeling the shift from absolute despair to wondrous hope. It came in the form of a smile or a word of gratitude. In the case of my animals, it came in the form of a nudge or a lick. A light in the eyes and a sense of contentment. That was my purpose without a doubt.

  “So city boy, you ready to go play with some elephants?”

  He laughed heartily. A truly riveting sound. “Lead the way, princess.”

  Placing puppy in his room, we met at the truck, where Justice drove and I was passenger. He seemed as eager as I to go play. It was therapy for both of us. Happiness swept over me as I watched him maneuver my truck. There was something oddly pleasing about having him drive me for a change. I lingered over his muscly arms as they worked the stick shift, wondering if I’d ever get to feel them around me again, or was this the extent of our relationship now? Was I just something he had used to numb his pain for a short while?

  “You’re thinking too hard, princess. I can hear it.”

  “Hmph.”

  “So…do I get the pleasure of knowing what’s going on in that pretty little head of yours?”

  I sliced him a surprised look. He thought I was pretty? I really didn’t know what he thought of me except for “spitfire,” “princess,” or “hellcat.” “Pretty” definitely wasn’t on the list.

  “Uh, you think I’m pretty?” I watched him grip the wheel tighter.

  “You know you’re gorgeous.”

  Okay, gorgeous was way higher up the scale than pretty. He liked me. My cheeks pulled out with the smile that burst free.

  I focused back out the front window, but I knew he turned his head toward me.

  “You like the fact that I think you’re hot?” His voice caught on the last word as if by declaring it out loud, he was cementing the fact in his own head.

  Without pause I said, “Maybe.”

  “Maybe?”

  “Yeah. Maybe.”

  “Oh, I think it’s way more than maybe. I think it’s abso-fucking-lutely!”

  I had to laugh at that. He sounded like the Justice that had arrived on our doorstep nearly three weeks ago. Smart-mouthed and sure of himself.

  “God. You’re so full of yourself.”

  “Nah. I just know when a girl is into me, and you are.”

  I smacked his bicep, dragging a chuckle from him. “Jerk.”

  “Uh huh! That’s not what you called me when I was balls deep inside of you.”

  I nearly choked on a swallow, ignoring the sweeping sensation in my stomach as my mind recreated the scene as if it were actually happening. I wasn’t necessarily a blusher, but heat rose from my chest up my neck to my face.

  “I…shit!” There was no comeback for that. The best sex of my life was being thrown back at me, and all I wanted was a repeat performance. The guy next to me was filthy hot, bad, and broken. Hung like a horse and oh-so devastating during sex. He’d shown me the incredible need he’d had for me as if nothing else existed except for our bodies and the pleasure we gave and received.

  Out of the corner of my eye, I saw him adjust his crotch. Dear Lord. He was thinking about it too. A thick tension filled the cab of my truck. I could hear his breathing above my own.

  “Fuck.”

  Suddenly the truck swerved and we turned sharply, skidding slightly before straightening out. We were definitely not heading toward the elephants now.

  “Ah, what just happened? Why did we turn?”

  He shook his head, changing gears as we crunched over the stony track brought about by years of driving in the same spot.

  The stables came into view, confusing me. Perhaps he needed to get something from there.

  His gorgeous forearms, one of my weaknesses, were strained from the grip he had on the wheel. His cut was obviously healing fine.

  Jamming the brakes on and turning off the engine, he got out and came around to my side, opening my door and lifting me out. What. The. Hell?

  “What are you doing?” I solicited as he kicked the door shut with his foot, pulling me into his solid chest. I bounced with each step he took.

  “You ask too many questions, princess. Just shut the fuck up.”

  Just when I thought he was more subdued since his fall from grace and he was back to being a dick.

  “Put me down!” I barked into his neck.

  �
�Not happening,” he growled back.

  “I’ll scream if you try anything.”

  “That’s the whole idea. I am going to try something, and you’re going to scream for mercy.”

  Nudging our way through the unlatched stable door, Justice walked to where a blanket was laid out on the floor.

  “What’s this?” I asked.

  “I brought it up from the house a couple of weeks ago so I could sit here when I take a break.”

  Placing me on the thick woolen coverlet as if I was made of glass, he set me down and then joined me, not waiting for anything before he maneuvered me so that I was turned over and on top of him.

  “But…”

  His astounding lips mauled mine with the same ferocity he’d shown me at our last rendezvous. He wasn’t angry—he was sexually wound so tight I could feel him about to uncoil.

  Lashing me with his tongue, I could only surrender to the onslaught. His large, yet surprisingly soft, hands gripped my ass and wrenched me hard into his profound erection. I sizzled, biting his lower lip as his thick bulge pressed into my searing, responsive clit.

  We were literally devouring each other’s hungry mouths, purring and groaning with each grind of our hips.

  “Get your arms up. Now,” he ordered, briskly not waiting, manhandling my long-sleeved shirt up over my head. It wasn’t the most comfortable position with my cast scraping on the floor.

  “Change positions.” The words were muffled and caught around lips and tongues, but he must have realized what I said because the next thing I knew, I was on my back, legs wide open and Justice resting comfortably in between, elbows beside my head, mouth still suctioned onto mine, our tongues flicking, licking, swiping while our lips danced in perfect synchronicity.

  Half opening my eyes, the sight of Justice’s open mouth working mine while his thick lashes shuttered his eyes drove forth a new surge of desire. Both hands moved to his thick checkered shirt so I could get the buttons undone and the thing off.

  Dragging his swollen lips from mine to undo his shirt, his eyes lowered to my heaving breasts that jutted out from my scant bra. My nipples were ripe under the thin, lacy fabric, teasing him heedlessly.

  “Fuck, I’m going to feast on those tits. Bite those hard nipples. Jesus! I could come with just the thought.”

  Fumbling with the top button, he ripped it apart, the button flying off into a direction neither of us cared about. Once his chest was bared, I could marvel at it once more with the jagged wire tattoo only adding to his beauty.

  Unable to wait to taste his skin, I brought my head up and laved a nipple, suckling and nibbling on it. He shuddered hard and let loose a deep drawn out whine, clasping handfuls of my hair and tugging. Not uncomfortably but enough to know that he was reveling in the sting my teeth brought when they caught his rigid little bullets.

  “You hurt me so good, princess. Do it to the other one. It makes me so hard.” He was furiously rubbing himself against me, gasping, lost in lust.

  Did I want to do this again with him? It was only a flicker of an instant the question floated into my mind but one that needed answering. Was he using me for his own dark reasons? Was he so disconnected from reality that I meant nothing to him?

  Once I started overthinking, I couldn’t stop. Justice must have sensed a shift in my concentration because he braced both his hands under my armpits and lifted me up and away from his nipple so my eyes were in line with his.

  “I’m losing you. Stop thinking and just feel.” His face was raw with desire, eyes hungry and dark. Predatory.

  My mouth was open before I could stop it. “Do you like me just a little?”

  He was unblinking, head tilting only slightly. “You’re fucking stunning.” He licked his lips, and I nearly forgot the question I had just asked.

  “That’s not what I meant.” Damn, he was too intense, but I wasn’t going to shy away. I was looking into the eyes of turmoil, and it unearthed my own issues I’d never dealt with over my mother’s death, bridging us in some way. Perhaps he had seen that in me. A fiery pain that mirrored his own because of unhealed emotions. Pushed down deep in the hope they’d disappear.

  Hovering over me, he floundered for a moment, chewing on his gum, glancing sideways before focusing again. “Princess, I don’t deserve an ounce of your time. I’ve lived most of my life on the wrong side of the law. I’ve tossed women aside as if they were nothing. I’ve slept in gutters.”

  His teeth were grinding as he spoke, but I daren’t interrupt him. I needed to know where the conversation was going.

  “But damn, woman. Your sassy mouth does something to me. You’re strong and aren’t afraid of things. You put me in my place when I need it. I can’t define what it is you do to me, but you’re the only person ever that makes me feel something other than anger. When we’re here like this, I almost feel like the me I’m supposed to be.”

  That did it for me. It was all I needed to hear. I affected him the same way he did me. Smashing my mouth to his, I opened and drove my tongue in, needing to feel its power to drown me. I needed to saturate myself in Justice. To take all he could give me and have it overwhelm me.

  He threw himself into the kiss, grabbing my head harshly to force my lips harder into his, both of us drenching ourselves in the other. He was everywhere in that moment. It was all him and nothing else.

  “Naked. I need to feel you naked. Now.” Not waiting, he unclasped my bra, freeing what he wanted before removing it and tossing it aside. Instantly, his mouth took my nipple, returning the gesture I had bestowed upon him, biting, then licking and sucking hard.

  “Arggh,” I cried, the burn shooting to my pelvis. My fingers scrambled to his jeans in a bid to get them off so I could get some skin–on-skin contact.

  His thick thighs made it difficult, so he helped me until they were nothing but a thud in the corner as he threw them along with his boxers.

  Heaven came to greet me as his groin met mine. We both groaned at the sensation together when he came to rest between my legs, nothing between us.

  His thickness felt glorious against my vulnerable clit, our abdomens pressed in firmly. “Do you have any idea how fucking sexy you are?” he whispered into my mouth, nibbling my bottom lip.

  “You make me feel it.” It was true. The way he responded to me. The way he looked and touched me. It all added to how much I gave back.

  Both hands had replaced his mouth on my breasts, pulling my already extended nipples further.

  Gripping his ass, I massaged both cheeks, loving how firm they were. They flexed under my touch. We were like a well-oiled machine, in sync, each part fitting perfectly into the other. His body seemed to wrap around me like a cocoon, his curves molding to mine.

  “I want to fuck you into next Friday. I’m going to be so deeply implanted in you that with each breath you take you’ll feel my cock.”

  My body was a firestorm, and I needed something to put out the flames. I ached to be filled like nothing else before so that each step I would take for the next week, I’d know Justice had been there.

  Our bodies were writhing like two snakes. Arms, legs, mouths, tongues, entangled in a delicious frenzy of epic proportions.

  “Justice. You feel so good.” I bit his neck, delirious with need. Grasping his massive dick, I stroked it up and down and then over the head until he yanked on my hair so hard we both cried out. Me from scalp burn and he from the pleasure of my hand.

  “Open your legs wider for me, and hang on, princess. This is going to be a wild ride.”

  He almost sounded like he was losing his voice, but it was just husky from his insane arousal.

  My hands moved from his butt to his shoulders, where I steadied myself. My pussy was so slick and ready he could have impaled me with his arm, and I think it would have slid in easily.

  When I felt his robust head harpoon me, I could have cried with joy. Sinking deeply just as he’d threatened, I did indeed feel like he’d broken through all my barriers and cr
awled inside.

  “Oh God. Yesss. Right there,” I wailed, lifting my left leg higher up his waist to get him even deeper.

  “Mmm. I can feel you against the tip of my cock. So goddam good. My balls are about to explode.”

  Thrusting upward, I let him know that being sheathed deep inside me was amazing, but it wasn’t what I ultimately needed.

  “Fuck me, Justice. Hard and fast. All the way in and all the way out. Give me your pain. Give me everything.” I was possessed with gripping need, not caring that I sounded like a crazy woman. He understood my plea.

  Snarling like a vicious dog, he took control, squeezing my hips and dragging his solid length out fully before thundering back into me with no remorse. Each exquisitely sore jab inched me closer to total detonation. The sensation of his dense balls slapping my asshole was an added sensation assisting in my climb. Sweat trickled down Justice’s moving chest then dripped onto my breasts. It was all pure torture.

  “Uh. Uh. Uh.” He grunted with each drive forward. “So incredible.”

  Pulling him down, I hijacked his mouth, swallowing his noisy pleasure. Holding me hostage with his hips, his thrusts became shorter and faster. His tongue began fucking my mouth at the same tempo as his cock. My hands were all over him, wildly ripping at his hair before mauling his back and ass.

  My delicate flesh was probably tearing at his onslaught. The sting of his huge girth propelled me into a wanton haze of nirvana. Heaving his mouth off mine, he began to bite me, beginning at my ears and ending at my agonized nipples.

  “Mmm, hmmm.” Hums vibrated against my skin, soothing the hungry pricks of his teeth.

  He drove forward and then stopped, grinding his pelvis into my greedy clit, shooting me to the stars, rooted so far into me I ached.

  The moment the orgasm ripped into me, I screamed into his shoulder, bucking up again and again as exhilaration exploded through me in catastrophic crashes, stealing my ability to think beyond the pleasure.

  A few more targeted plunges and Justice was erupting sizzling jets of semen high inside me. He pulled his jaws away from my tits to let out a roar into my ear.

  “Mother of all fucks!” He was literally howling with each generous shudder that powered thick spurts against my hot interior. It was beautiful. I didn’t think he was going to stop and didn’t want him to. The convulsing became less and less until finally he stilled, deep whimpers replacing each exhale.